Your Moon, Venus, Mars, and Relationships

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by Marmotini on Saturday, May 25, 2013 and has 13 replies.
Do you think you should pick your partners by your Moon or Venus sign instead of by your sun sign?
Because I was thinking, you know really thinking, and I seem to be attracted to types good for my sun sign (like Gemini with Libra, and even dated a couple of Aquarius, first of which didn't work and second probably won't last either but is nice for what it is, that kind of bullshit) ...and also for my Mars/Venus (both in Aries, my first boyfriend, as in the guy I lost my virginity to, was an Aries, and there have been other Aries where there has been strong attraction on both sides) ...but that I really really should be a Capricorn or maybe even a Scorpio (I have Capricorn Moon and Scorpio rising).
I am a very intense person emotionally, and I need reassurance. Reassurance I can get from Libras, and I think the reason it worked with my Libra ex for six years is because he had Scorpio Rising like I do, giving him a fixed intensity as well as being a romantic Libra.
I dated one Capricorn after I broke up with my high school boyfriend, but he was too conventional and boring for me at 17 (though he's my friend on facebook now, and one of those married with children types) and I have fallen in love with a Capricorn since then. I would rather not discuss that at all. Ever again.
It would seem if I don't end up with a Scorpio or Capricorn, that I actually need someone with either a passionate Scorpio placement somewhere important (Rising, Moon or Venus) or with a lot of Capricorn placement, maybe another Lunar Cap like me, or a Cap rising. Even a Taurus might be good, they're pretty sensual like Libras amirite? Plus my Mercury is in Taurus.
I don't think I need all of this bullshit that people say Geminis need in a relationship. I may need those things in my life, in my work, in my creativity and friendships...I want more stability and passion in my relationships.
Try to pin me down, please. What Gemini says that?
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that should read *be with, not be, in the last sentence of the first paragraph
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Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
More often than not our Sun isn't the strongest influence in the natal chart. Because of that they make for poor comparison choices in the context of romantic relationships. Moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, the 5th and 7th houses, and also Juno and Vesta are far better indications of what would make for an appropriate partner. Mercury should also be taken into consideration as it guides the way we communicate with one another.
Here's a quote from another thread where some of this was previously discussed.
Posted by TheMoodyVulcan

There's quite a bit that goes into how we handle romantic relationships. Venus and Mars can show us our more conscious desires, but for women, Jupiter is a better indicator of what she really needs. The 5th house points to the kinds of people that we frequently get involved with, and supposedly the 7th house shows what we end up with in a first marriage (I don't follow the 7th house theory that closely though). Juno and Vesta also have a lot to say about the matter. You probably have some conflicting aspects somewhere that give you that push/pull response to relationships.
http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/Juno21.3.html
http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/Vesta21.4.html





Thanks for the links!
My mercury is still in Taurus, an earth sign. A slow, steady, sensual, plodding earth sign.
(that's why I've always had a good head for facts, my mom calls me a walking encyclopedia, but on on-line forums I've been accused of taking things too literally - earth, sensing - sometimes, and also for being too stubborn (bull) about my ideas/opinions)
Also....I did think that told me which sign and planet had the most influence in my chart...and it was actually Scorpio and Pluto.
My moon is also in higher degrees Capricorn than my Sun is in Gem.
My Mars and Venus are both about just as many degrees into Aries as my Moon is into Capricorn.
I'm just wondering, because I really need and want a kind of predictability and/or intensity that I don't see a lot of Geminis saying they want. "Gosh I love you so much, you call me every single morning when you wake up." I'm like that. I am that person.
The Aquarius I'm dating? I think that would send him running and screaming for the hi
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Posted by Sagtastic1
Hello my fellow lunar Capricorn. First and foremost I understand the complexity of you Sun and moon sign. It's a daily internal battle and its bad enough we are women with moon in Capricorn. This is not a good placement for women at all but back to the thread. I have come to the conclusion that I don't care what a person's Sun sign is as long as their moon is compatible with mine. Having a cap moon it makes it imperative to have moon sign compatibility because as lunar caps, we already think most people will either a) never understand us or b) truly except us for who we are on the inside. You know, your own worst enemy/critic.
For some reason all I attract is lunar Aries. *Warning* stay far away from them. I've married a fire Sun w/moon Aries and dated a water and earth and they all act the same. Ready to bail when things get tough or it doesn't benefit them (they are so selfish) you will end up feeling used and then beat yourself for allowing them to take advantage of you. I read a Virgo moon is the best match...I'm researching this now.


OMG the aquarius I've been seeing has his moon in Aries.
I knew something was wrong. He's so polite and nice and well-behaved and does as he should, but wants nothing to do with a serious relationship, and yes I feel sometimes it's like he's just being selfish, like he has the nerve to get upset if I'm not available right when he decides he'd like to see me, but would he offer me that in return? Not any time soon. It kind of disgusts me, honestly.
I am just going to have to watch people's moon signs I guess; I think moon in Capricorn is tough for any woman, but it would be especially tough for a woman who wasn't just completely prepared to marry for money instead of love, and I mean that in the most realistic way possible.
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Posted by geminicandle
Oh yeah, I definitely agree with that we should pick based on more than just a sun sign.
My mars and moon is in Leo, and I have never dated a Leo, but my first serious boyfriend/fiancee was Aries, just like yours. I loved that guy, but I was sooooooooooooooo young (19-22). I definitely would date an Aries man in a minute, but I never meet any anymoreSad
My venus is in Cancer and I did have a serious relationship with a Cancer guy. And I don't know. It was heartbreaking on many levels, like I had to be on anti-depressants for a while and move from West Coast to Florida, to get away. I am not sure I would want to repeat the whole passive-aggrressive experience again. I need more communication than a Cancer can give. And sometimes, the smothering was too damn much.
Also, the bedroom issues...it was fullfiling emotionally but not physically.
Oh and I also had a Scorpio serious relationship, and that is one sign I definitely know I'd never want to repeat dating again. Though the wound is still fresh. But that was just a bizzare experience. The only guy that I know I will not stay friends with, but rather, I made an enemy for life. Sex was great, I have to give him that!
There were also 2 Capricorns and 1 Aqua, but I just could not connect emotionally to either. Cappies were handsome, sexy devils and Aqua was smart, great to talk to.



Hmmmm...maybe you should stick to fire signs! Leo, Aries, Sag maybe?
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Posted by geminicandle
Jesus, I am a gemini with cancer venus and I'd be running too, if some guy told me this.
Sorry, just being honest.


Yeah what has kept me even seeing him this long is that
1) my options aren't limited to him, I know there are other men, it's not like I've known him long enough to be in love with him or anything, so it's more like a strong like or attraction, but something I can detangle myself from easily with just a few days away from him
2) The sex is great. It just is.
3) He's very nice and easy going. He is the kind to back down from arguments, he's more the type to walk away than to fight, and he's always been "nice" to me.
4) He's smart and funny.
But yeah it's like at a point where I should probably protect myself from getting any more involved with him, because he will probably never be able to give me what I need even if he begins to get more attached.
I'm so relationship oriented that even when I'm not in a relationship I just kind of go with it until it blows up in my face, I've noticed.
I've just hated the idea of being one of those women who is like "I need this, this and this now...or it's over." Ultimatums don't set well with many men, even ones who may be good relationship material.
Also, I am a Gemini after all, and I am okay with things being very light in the beginning. So that's how it even gets to this point, that I've suddenly realized I've been spending a lot of time with the same person, and they want it to continue in the same way and not become more serious or intense.
I also wondered why he always comes back to me, but it could be that he really does like me but he has a different idea of what that should mean than I do. I think he doesn't see the point in defining it, he likes the idea that either one of us could change our minds at any moment.
I'm like ...yeah that was cool three months ago...now you're just starting to piss me off.
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Posted by Sagtastic1
@Marmontini I can believe it!!! *disclaimer this is only my opinion* He is attracted to the "challenge" you give off. Aries love the hunt. He probably came at you straight forward and you brushed him off in our cool (I could care less about you attitude) and he went bizerk. He is going to wear you down until your guard is down and you are ready to give it your all. Then he is going to run like a little bitch in the wind when he realizes you want a serious relationship. The tricky part will be cutting him off completely because when you do, he is going to come at you with full force! So be prepared.


Thanks for letting me know it's time to "cue ice storm." I've been feeling that way lately anyway because his self-absorption strikes me as childish and unattractive. I think he likes the idea that other men want me, he's even checked my phone before when I was over at his house, and I found this very puzzling from someone who claims to not want a relationship, so when I tried to reassure him I could be faithful to him, he was like "OH MY GOD NO I DONT WANT A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP."
So yeah at first I thought he was just afraid to trust me, then I realized he was just a big selfish baby. I am still interested enough in him though to see what he does if I act chilly and bitchy like I do to most men who I'm not interested in.
Maybe I'll get what I want that way.
So wrong.
And like I said, I'm not even sure I do want it, because with the way he's been, I'm concerned he isn't very stable over all, even if he did get more "attached" that he would never be able to give me what I need to feel secure in a relationship.
I want to win not lose. I am so tired of guys I'm almost at the point where I want to see them perform great acts of love to prove their devotion to me before I'll so much as kiss them.
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Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
Posted by Marmotini

Thanks for the links!
My mercury is still in Taurus, an earth sign. A slow, steady, sensual, plodding earth sign.
(that's why I've always had a good head for facts, my mom calls me a walking encyclopedia, but on on-line forums I've been accused of taking things too literally - earth, sensing - sometimes, and also for being too stubborn (bull) about my ideas/opinions)
Also....I did think that told me which sign and planet had the most influence in my chart...and it was actually Scorpio and Pluto.
My moon is also in higher degrees Capricorn than my Sun is in Gem.
My Mars and Venus are both about just as many degrees into Aries as my Moon is into Capricorn.
I'm just wondering, because I really need and want a kind of predictability and/or intensity that I don't see a lot of Geminis saying they want. "Gosh I love you so much, you call me every single morning when you wake up." I'm like that. I am that person.
The Aquarius I'm dating? I think that would send him running and screaming for the hi


Theoretically you would have the most success with someone that also has a Mercury in an earth sign, a Venus and/or N. Node that matches your Capricorn Moon (or possibly Virgo), and a Moon that can sync up with your Mars and Venus. And unless he has some strong water placements to counter his Sun, I have to agree that an emotional attachment like what you need to feel happy would probably be a turn off as much as they love their independence.
A Pullen Delineation can help tell you what your strongest placements are if that's something you would be interested in seeing.
click to expand


I think the Pullen chart was where I got the idea that Scorpio and Pluto had the greatest influence in my chart.
Thanks for all the help, I appreciate it.
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Posted by Sagtastic1
No problem! Yes, he LOVES the fact that other men want you, it makes him feel like the alpha dog. (Mine did the same thing I promise you) He is dead serious when he says he is not ready. Aries moons know there mind extremely well. You are going to be surprised when you turn into the ice Queen. I'm telling you know girl, prepare yourself because he will try every and anything to get you to melt. Mine asked me to be his GF after months of him saying he wasn't ready. (That's how far he will go) Needless to say it didn't last more than two months before he felt we "spent too much time together" I laughed when he said that shit to me.


Ugh, yeah when he doesn't hear from me for a while or I won't come over when he wants me too, that's when he gets really persistent. That's what I meant by he wants to see me when he wants to see me, but isn't so cool with returning the favor.
I told him what he wanted wasn't realistic. He said yes I know.
He's also said he understands if I don't want to be with him...and as soon as I start to forget about him, he calls again.
It's uncanny.
Last time, he argued with me for four hours just to get me to come over. When he wants to see me, he really wants to see me.
I didn't have sex with him that time (which just pissed me off more, at least it would have made me feel better in some kind of bio-chemical way) but then again I kind of got a rush out of basically tormenting him by doing everything but (no oral, nothing) but you know like kissing and messing around and not giving in.
I know if I could keep it up, just get sick of him enough that he couldn't wear me down in a matter of hours or days to come and see him, he probably would become more frantic and maybe decide that commitment was worth it.
But ultimately it seems like a game, and once he "had me" he'd just start the same old shit again, just in a different way.
It's like this Aquarius I dated once before who did me so wrong, then started emailing me two years later after I'd left the state, like "please call me, I miss you, I think I really made a mistake in letting you go."
Dude, it had been two years, and I was 3,000 miles away. I was like wtfbbq.
I'm afraid this is going to happen with someone else I know, that once I am like living with someone or really in love with someone else, he's going to be like "hey remember me? remember when
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Hey Sagtastic, yes, with this particular person I would say 8 to 9 times out of 10 it leads to sex. We didn't have sex the first time we hung out or anything like that, but once we did, it became difficult not to, you know.
The thing is that I think he wants to keep it that way, which is why I didn't have sex with him last time. If I just wanted sex, I could go a 20 year old who has had a physical fixation on me for about a year and a half now (though I haven't touched him in six months).
I've noticed a pattern of men wanting me once I have fucking had it with them. All of them. Just suddenly realizing how amazing I am when I have honestly gone on with my life.
Not that there haven't been any who appreciated me at the time (for example my Libra ex of six years obviously really loved me) ...but I've noticed a real pattern.
I can believe that Capricorn moons relate to power struggles and that Capricorn moon keeps power by withholding. There is a man who has had tremendous, tremendous power over me and loyalty over me by playing an emotional detachment game (and yes it was a fucking game whether he admits it or not) while simultaneously spending almost every moment of the day. He seems to be the only person on the face of the earth who isn't aware of the glaring irony in that. That's why I know on some level he knows what he did.
Thank you for all of this, you rock!
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I don't want a cookie monster. But I guess it will be amusing to observe what he does.
I want to be with someone who deserves me as a girlfriend. Someone who knows how to be a good boyfriend.
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I'm always attracted to earth signs. Had relationships with Libra and Aquarius (many) and they ended up in friendship. I've never had a relationship with a water sign. And maybe 2-3 fire signs.
Venus Cancer
Moon Libra
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Oh Merc, Mars, Jupiter in Taurus
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