Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
“Momming” a boyfriend
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Posted by Marai
No. Just no. Men already have a mom and they don't need one to live with. Help him here and there, but give him sweet reminders he needs to take responsibility as well.
He doesn’t have a good mom and his childhood was challenging. He’s been on his own since 17.
The thing is, he doesn’t care enough to do anything about the issues he’s had so he just lives in chaos. But I know he felt so much better after I cleaned. Doesn’t everyone though?
Posted by PeakSoy
Women do this?
No, just no 🤢
Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.
Posted by Marai
No. Just no. Men already have a mom and they don't need one to live with. Help him here and there, but give him sweet reminders he needs to take responsibility as well.
Exactly we don’t enable such disgusting behaviour. Just yuck 🤮
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by pinkbird03Posted by PeakSoy
Women do this?
Lmao 😂
Yep.
Lmao...I am doing this all the time and I’ve done this with my ex Cap because he wasn’t able to do anything nor he wanted to. When his father visited he always gave him hard time for not doing shit around the house...I didn’t mind a lot...
Our Libra child is dating now and she had vacationed with her father and his wife and she told me that daddy is such a high maintenance and she isn’t spending her life serving man like your mom’...
With Aries...well...he was doing just fine in his own keeping every household chore done mainly because due to a custody battle - child services were checking and he was a good housekeeper.
Then...I’ve entered his life and of course...from being ‘nobody ever made coffee for me’ he became ‘are you walking the dog’?..😂😂😂
When I am here with them - I am totally in control of everything that i am considering ‘women territory’...
And I get shit from women who are believing in men need to take care of themselves...but they can talk their heads off!
I am enjoying doing what I am doing because that’s how I was brought up.
My Moms Moro was - if you want man to rush home after work - make home his safe heaven!
Don’t nag. Make dinner and let him rest.
If he doesn’t like house chores - he needs to make money for you to hire professionals who can put up shelf or fix the faucet etc.
And my father always came home with flowers!
Honey! You can’t be good for everybody. I expect more women will shit on you because of feminism and equality! My ass! Those are the women who are bitching because they can’t FIND a man who will appreciate them because they don’t show men that they care!
Woman is creator of cozy home. Men are providers. If woman bitching that she is working hard and need him to do half - he will find his safe harbor elsewhere because let’s face it - men love peace! And food. And sex. That’s about it!
So as a woman - work less. Be a woman more!
And before you start showing your feminist side - show your feminine side!
And again - most women here bitching about ban men! Most men bitching about shortage or women who care...I am sure we won’t do this. Because out men are happy! ❤️👍click to expand
Yes, and I think that’s very important. To contribute to a man’s happiness rather than being me, me, me! I once had a guy question what do you bring to the table? But it’s really not until now that I’m discovering what I do have to offer other than a decent job and sex. I’m also at that age where it’s not about dating, it’s about building a future to see if marriage and kids are a possibility. I like ur moms motto. Home life is very important and I don’t want him to feel stressed when he gets home. I haven’t cooked for him yet though mainly because I’m not there on his workdays. He gets home too late and works very early.
Posted by WarAngel
Be careful that you don't make it a long-term habit of yours. Once the both of you work together to get that house perfect, make sure he keeps it that way as much as he can.
Work together to keep it in good working order from here on out.
Exactly, nothing wrong with giving a helping hand and some direction on how to organise better. But to become a mother to an adult, no!
Posted by MaraiPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Marai
No. Just no. Men already have a mom and they don't need one to live with. Help him here and there, but give him sweet reminders he needs to take responsibility as well.
He doesn’t have a good mom and his childhood was challenging. He’s been on his own since 17.
The thing is, he doesn’t care enough to do anything about the issues he’s had so he just lives in chaos. But I know he felt so much better after I cleaned. Doesn’t everyone though?
If you're fine and happy about it, why not. But keep in mind that he doesn't bother changing his ways, so you'll have to keep doing this for god knows how long, and I'm afraid that he could take it for granted in the long haul.click to expand
I’m the clean freak in my own life so if I ever moved in, it wouldn’t be any different except a different place to clean. Besides now that it’s had a deep cleaning, it will be easier to keep up. Plus he provides in other ways.
there are some good moms here
Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.
Your relationship seems balance and that’s very important. My guy gives in other ways. He pays for most things (breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries) and he has cooked me dinner a bunch of times. As well as a bunch of little things that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel used. If anything I feel like our relationship grew a tiny because we got to know each other in a different area of our lives.
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Are you in loving rship?click to expand
Why would that make a difference
Posted by WarAngel
Be careful that you don't make it a long-term habit of yours. Once the both of you work together to get that house perfect, make sure he keeps it that way as much as he can.
Work together to keep it in good working order from here on out.
Omg yea, I will never let it get this bad again..... some of it was really really gross, his room was very unorganized. I can’t wait to do more this week. I do it while he’s at work. I will say he’s good at keeping the downstairs presentable... ya know where guests visit, but not his personal spaces upstairs. So at least that is something.
Posted by TheSag
there are some good moms here
Are you a man? Have you ever been treated like this? Thoughts?
God no. I already had a child and i don’t want another one
I find it a turn off babying a grown man
😐
I find it a turn off babying a grown man
😐
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by pinkbird03Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.
Your relationship seems balance and that’s very important. My guy gives in other ways. He pays for most things (breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries) and he has cooked me dinner a bunch of times. As well as a bunch of little things that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel used. If anything I feel like our relationship grew a tiny because we got to know each other in a different area of our lives.
You can’t teach people to care!
Those who comes out with ‘cleaning service’ suggestion APPARENTLY never HAD a cleaning service!
I had a friend whom I paid to clean my house and for her to really clean it was 10am to 8pm!
And no! My house was clean because while having business we weren’t home most of the time...but it’s still...a house! If you do honest work - 4 hours won’t do shit!
Cleaning service make believe they clean!
Worse experience I had. No more.
And nobody will clean as a woman who loves a man who owes that house. 😇click to expand
Yep. I broke 4 nails scrubbing every inch of that home.
Posted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
He doesn’t feel comfortable with someone inside his home that he doesn’t trust. He has home security for a reason.
Posted by IsoldePosted by WarAngel
Be careful that you don't make it a long-term habit of yours. Once the both of you work together to get that house perfect, make sure he keeps it that way as much as he can.
Work together to keep it in good working order from here on out.
Exactly, nothing wrong with giving a helping hand and some direction on how to organise better. But to become a mother to an adult, no!click to expand
I actually find something a bit weird about that 🥴
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by TheSag
there are some good moms here
Are you a man? Have you ever been treated like this? Thoughts?click to expand
I guess I am. Yes I have been treated like this and I liked it but I felt a little guilty. I am too nice to take fully advantage of it 😢
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Have you ever hired cleaning service?
Cleaning service is for people who don’t care about their house be really clean!
After you paid them $ 50/hour - move your bed! 🧟♀️click to expand
Haven’t tried but at work we’re all trying to steal this cleaning lady, she’s exceptional. Everyday it’s like a brand new building.
I was on the verge of getting one cos I didn’t have time but then lockdown happened, so managed to get around to all of it.
By next year I will get one, only if I’ve seen how good they are.
Lived with more than 30 men of differing types of relationship, only one Aquarian was disgusting. So I know it’s not that common
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by IsoldePosted by WarAngel
Be careful that you don't make it a long-term habit of yours. Once the both of you work together to get that house perfect, make sure he keeps it that way as much as he can.
Work together to keep it in good working order from here on out.
Exactly, nothing wrong with giving a helping hand and some direction on how to organise better. But to become a mother to an adult, no!
I actually find something a bit weird about that 🥴click to expand
Haha what do you, helping out in the first place? Or the mothering part
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Posted by IsoldePosted by MyStarsShinePosted by IsoldePosted by WarAngel
Be careful that you don't make it a long-term habit of yours. Once the both of you work together to get that house perfect, make sure he keeps it that way as much as he can.
Work together to keep it in good working order from here on out.
Exactly, nothing wrong with giving a helping hand and some direction on how to organise better. But to become a mother to an adult, no!
I actually find something a bit weird about that 🥴
Haha what do you, helping out in the first place? Or the mothering partclick to expand
I love helping but being a mother to a grown man.....just no....too weird lol 🥴
Posted by Timon
If his bathroom is really nasty I would probably leave and never come back. 🤣
So he has a master bathroom and a half bathroom that I use. Never too bad. Then there’s another bathroom outside the bedroom that only he uses and has the door mostly shut. I never went in it until last week and that’s when I discovered the dirtiest and smelliest bathroom I’ve ever seen......... took me over an hour to clean it. He even said he stopped using it because it was dirty 😅 except to shower. Master shower apparently isn’t good because u feel cold air so that’s why he used the other bathroom. But it looks great now!!
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.
Your relationship seems balance and that’s very important. My guy gives in other ways. He pays for most things (breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries) and he has cooked me dinner a bunch of times. As well as a bunch of little things that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel used. If anything I feel like our relationship grew a tiny because we got to know each other in a different area of our lives.click to expand
Good. As long as there is that balance and effort on both sides then it’ll work. Society tells you there is only one or 2 ways to be but the reality is your relationship is between the 2 of you, no one else.
Posted by MaraiPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Have you ever hired cleaning service?
Cleaning service is for people who don’t care about their house be really clean!
After you paid them $ 50/hour - move your bed! 🧟♀️
It's not about not caring. It's about finding the time and energy.
Before corona we both travel for work a lot and we don't want to come back home cleaning or when we see eachother we gonna spend that time cleaning the house. No way, that time could be spend otherwise to someone who wants to make some money.
We have a really good cleaning lady for 20€/hour!click to expand
He’s a business owner for a decent size company, has 25 employees, and summer/winter are his busiest seasons. So I’m understanding that he’s not willing to clean after working 15 hour days and walking 20,000 steps.
Posted by pinkbird03
Has anyone ever done this or had someone do it to you? What are your thoughts?
I find myself doing this a lot lately for my aries. He is considered the child of the zodiac signs afterall. It all started when I noticed how dirty and literally disgusting parts of his house were that he hid from me by keeping doors shut and then stopped cleaning the bathrooms and putting clean clothes away in the last month. So I offered to clean/organize things and it took me 10 hours so far. Still have more to do this week... then as I cleaned I discovered more things! His shower liner/bath math desperately needs replacing, all of his socks have holes so now I’m buying these things for him because I want him to have a better life. I’m starting to feel like a mom.
His defense is he’s in survival mode. (Yea he can certainly survive in extreme conditions 🙄) Works a lot/has no time. And he really appreciates all I’ve done. I also think it’s a sign of trust that he’s showing me his true self.
Plus I do other little things for him because the bottom line is he doesn’t really take care of most of his personal needs. Ie. I bought him shampoo cuz he didn’t have any for a month and hand cream for his rough sad hands but only I put it on him.
I don’t mind doing any of this honestly, but I’m wondering if this is normal male behavior or if men ever hate this? How much do you do for your man? Is this how roles of the household are established? Men, what are your thoughts?
Sound like my Aries sister Aries boyfriend only except he steals and sell people's stuff to support his drugs and cigarette habits.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by pinkbird03Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes I baby him, sometimes he babies me. But it’s important for there to be a give and take. If he’s not making an effort back your gonna start resenting him. Especially when he thrashes those spaces and all your effort is wasted.
Your relationship seems balance and that’s very important. My guy gives in other ways. He pays for most things (breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries) and he has cooked me dinner a bunch of times. As well as a bunch of little things that don’t go unnoticed. I don’t feel used. If anything I feel like our relationship grew a tiny because we got to know each other in a different area of our lives.
Good. As long as there is that balance and effort on both sides then it’ll work. Society tells you there is only one or 2 ways to be but the reality is your relationship is between the 2 of you, no one else.click to expand
Well put!
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by IsoldePosted by MyStarsShinePosted by IsoldePosted by WarAngel
Be careful that you don't make it a long-term habit of yours. Once the both of you work together to get that house perfect, make sure he keeps it that way as much as he can.
Work together to keep it in good working order from here on out.
Exactly, nothing wrong with giving a helping hand and some direction on how to organise better. But to become a mother to an adult, no!
I actually find something a bit weird about that 🥴
Haha what do you, helping out in the first place? Or the mothering part
I love helping but being a mother to a grown man.....just no....too weird lol 🥴click to expand
Me too I love helping and nurturing but an adult baby is a turn off. Then again maybe cos I’m a hygiene freak. Don’t mind cooking, ironing a shirt or two if I add it onto my chores but it shouldn’t be expected.
I’m seen relationships breakdown from this stuff, especially these days where men and women are earners.
Posted by TimonPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Timon
If his bathroom is really nasty I would probably leave and never come back. 🤣
So he has a master bathroom and a half bathroom that I use. Never too bad. Then there’s another bathroom outside the bedroom that only he uses and has the door mostly shut. I never went in it until last week and that’s when I discovered the dirtiest and smelliest bathroom I’ve ever seen......... took me over an hour to clean it. He even said he stopped using it because it was dirty 😅 except to shower. Master shower apparently isn’t good because u feel cold air so that’s why he used the other bathroom. But it looks great now!!
🤢 I can't believe you managed to clean it. I feel sick just reading this and picturing what it must have looked like. Yuck!🤮 Lol.
Well, well done. I would never have managed. I would probably have screamed and had nightmares about it. 🤣click to expand
Me too, I cringed so much. Don’t mind mess but I’m a hygiene freak 😬
Posted by TheSagPosted by pinkbird03Posted by TheSag
there are some good moms here
Are you a man? Have you ever been treated like this? Thoughts?
I guess I am. Yes I have been treated like this and I liked it but I felt a little guilty. I am too nice to take fully advantage of it 😢click to expand
Well then u just do something sweet in return.
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by IsoldePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Are you in loving rship?
Why would that make a difference
Huge difference!
Because women forgot what’s the core of rship is!
The woman who keeps cozy home...safe harbor to a man...not another man who goes to work and then we added pizza!click to expand
Nope, not in the modern day. I’m not talking about someone coming in everyday to do dishes, emptying bins, I’m talking a few hours on a Saturday like scrubbing bathroom, cleaning the oven etc
Posted by TimonPosted by pinkbird03Posted by Timon
If his bathroom is really nasty I would probably leave and never come back. 🤣
So he has a master bathroom and a half bathroom that I use. Never too bad. Then there’s another bathroom outside the bedroom that only he uses and has the door mostly shut. I never went in it until last week and that’s when I discovered the dirtiest and smelliest bathroom I’ve ever seen......... took me over an hour to clean it. He even said he stopped using it because it was dirty 😅 except to shower. Master shower apparently isn’t good because u feel cold air so that’s why he used the other bathroom. But it looks great now!!
🤢 I can't believe you managed to clean it. I feel sick just reading this and picturing what it must have looked like. Yuck!🤮 Lol.
Well, well done. I would never have managed. I would probably have screamed and had nightmares about it. 🤣click to expand
Iol it was bad lol then I opened a closet and a huge mountain of dirty smelly clothes! Lots of surprises this week. He thought it was funny.
you are a fucking maid baby
Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.
Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.
Posted by MaraiPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MaraiPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Have you ever hired cleaning service?
Cleaning service is for people who don’t care about their house be really clean!
After you paid them $ 50/hour - move your bed! 🧟♀️
It's not about not caring. It's about finding the time and energy.
Before corona we both travel for work a lot and we don't want to come back home cleaning or when we see eachother we gonna spend that time cleaning the house. No way, that time could be spend otherwise to someone who wants to make some money.
We have a really good cleaning lady for 20€/hour!
Regular crappy service here is $ 50/hour and they have more donts than does...
What they do is dusting and vacuuming and they don’t move nothing so behind furniture is still dusty...and if window involved it goes up to $ 120/hour...
No! Fuck them...😂😂😂
But I think what @pinkbird is saying she loves the man and she loves to take care of him because she sees him is THE ONE and she is as smart REAL woman is building the nest and Aries sees everything! I bet his heart is singing...he is a man with no good mother figure - she is showing him love! Isn’t it beautiful? ❤️
Those cleaners duped you hard😂
She is showing her love language. That is indeed beautiful!click to expand
I was thinking that. Acts of love or something. And gifts. I was spoiled as a kid so I’ve always spoiled loved ones- including Pets!
Posted by PhoenixStorm
I do to a degree (cancer moon)
But my nagging is more about safety. I’ll say stuff like drive safe, I’ll yell at him for texting while driving, if he’s sick I’ll try nursing him back to health.. stuff like that. But I don’t really nag about messy car or messy house etc.
I didn’t nag about him cleaning. I just did it because I couldn’t handle stepping on the same pile of clean clothes for a month. Your man must not be too bad if it didn’t bother u
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by MaraiPosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Have you ever hired cleaning service?
Cleaning service is for people who don’t care about their house be really clean!
After you paid them $ 50/hour - move your bed! 🧟♀️
It's not about not caring. It's about finding the time and energy.
Before corona we both travel for work a lot and we don't want to come back home cleaning or when we see eachother we gonna spend that time cleaning the house. No way, that time could be spend otherwise to someone who wants to make some money.
We have a really good cleaning lady for 20€/hour!
Regular crappy service here is $ 50/hour and they have more donts than does...
What they do is dusting and vacuuming and they don’t move nothing so behind furniture is still dusty...and if window involved it goes up to $ 120/hour...
No! Fuck them...😂😂😂
But I think what @pinkbird is saying she loves the man and she loves to take care of him because she sees him is THE ONE and she is as smart REAL woman is building the nest and Aries sees everything! I bet his heart is singing...he is a man with no good mother figure - she is showing him love! Isn’t it beautiful? ❤️click to expand
If you ever hire someone again, you should go by word of mouth and see results from other people’s homes.
A year ago I would’ve agreed with you, but we actually debated this at work and now I’m convinced.
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.click to expand
Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on him
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.click to expand
At least you guys have a humour about it and he didn’t get offended 😃
there are worse things
aries i used to date told me: "would be nice to have a woman around, maybe change the curtains to something pretty."
🤣🤣
aries i used to date told me: "would be nice to have a woman around, maybe change the curtains to something pretty."
🤣🤣
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.click to expand
a good dinner is like 15 bucks. you want $ 200
Posted by pinkbird03Posted by ibreatheoxygin
you are a fucking maid baby
He did ask how much he owed me for cleaning. I said a good dinner.click to expand
a good dinner is like 15 bucks. you want $ 200
Posted by pinkbird03
Has anyone ever done this or had someone do it to you? What are your thoughts?
it depends, do I have to work and do cleaning also or what.
if I have to work, then he better hit the gym while I clean, and have a good dick game too, otherwise no.
Well one time helping him is a lot different than doing it all the time. He will take it for granted eventually. Do you want to do this for him all the time or are you going to insist he not be his slobby self? That’s what marriages or living together looks like.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by pinkbird03Posted by MyStarsShine
There’s a big difference between helping someone and being a door mat
Some people will take the piss big time and end up being big dependent babies for life.
😐
Oh I could see myself being the one that cleans the upstairs. The downstairs always looks presentable. He knows what he’s doing.
Of course he does .... keep your 👀 on himclick to expand
lol oh I will.
Posted by IsoldePosted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Isolde
Men that are so busy working hard playing hard, know there’s a industry called house cleaners
Are you in loving rship?
Why would that make a differenceclick to expand
Because to that dxp user your worth is defined by you having a man and your opinion counts only if you have a man/can keep a man. Welcome to the dark ages!
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Then..
On the flip side
How would you feel if you were dating someone but found out later on in the relationship that he/she slept with someone else before you were "exclusive"?
I personally would have serious reservations about moving forward with the relationship but my perce
Just wondering... do you believe that couples can get along 100% of the time? Do you fight or argue with your partner? If so, how often? And what are your zodiac signs?
I fight with my boyfriend A LOT, and I think I already got used to it. At first I did
I find myself doing this a lot lately for my aries. He is considered the child of the zodiac signs afterall. It all started when I noticed how dirty and literally disgusting parts of his house were that he hid from me by keeping doors shut and then stopped cleaning the bathrooms and putting clean clothes away in the last month. So I offered to clean/organize things and it took me 10 hours so far. Still have more to do this week... then as I cleaned I discovered more things! His shower liner/bath math desperately needs replacing, all of his socks have holes so now I’m buying these things for him because I want him to have a better life. I’m starting to feel like a mom.
His defense is he’s in survival mode. (Yea he can certainly survive in extreme conditions 🙄) Works a lot/has no time. And he really appreciates all I’ve done. I also think it’s a sign of trust that he’s showing me his true self.
Plus I do other little things for him because the bottom line is he doesn’t really take care of most of his personal needs. Ie. I bought him shampoo cuz he didn’t have any for a month and hand cream for his rough sad hands but only I put it on him.
I don’t mind doing any of this honestly, but I’m wondering if this is normal male behavior or if men ever hate this? How much do you do for your man? Is this how roles of the household are established? Men, what are your thoughts?