Posted by WhorpioNo one at the moment but I've experienced people with a lot of sex problems in my life. Maybe it's my mars?
Who is torturing you?
Posted by enfant_terribleWho knows? I've seen it a lot in both. I saw it in some of the women I've dated too and know
Are you sure men are "seeing how long they can withold it from someone" and not just using that as an excuse not to have sex cuz low T-levels?
Posted by Sag898Posted by Whorpio
Who is torturing you?
No one at the moment but I've experienced people with a lot of sex problems in my life. Maybe it's my mars?click to expand
Posted by Whorpio5thPosted by Sag898Posted by Whorpio
Who is torturing you?
No one at the moment but I've experienced people with a lot of sex problems in my life. Maybe it's my mars?
Which house is it in?click to expand
Posted by Sag898Posted by WhorpioPosted by Sag898
Maybe it's my mars?
Which house is it in?
5thclick to expand
Posted by BoringA lot of people I've known lolPosted by Sag898Who does that 🤔
Why do males and females constantly use sex as a method of control?
Do people seriously have no idea how to make love or be inmate with each other anymore?
It's all about seeing how long you can withhold it from someone? Only doing it when it's "earned"? Doing it for a price? Blaming a sexual traumatic experience that happened to you on your partner and punishing them for it? Hating it and saying you have no need for it?
It's amazing how closed off people are and they have no idea...I feel sorry for you, life is incredible short to be so mad all the time....click to expand
Posted by WhorpioPosted by Sag898Posted by WhorpioPosted by Sag898
Maybe it's my mars?
Which house is it in?
5th
click to expand
Posted by GemitatiGem gets it!
Some people are never had it good enough to actually crave it.
Only those can be withholding and using sex as a prize. Got to be sorry for them.
Posted by AntiochusThere shouldn't be space for that in relationships or sex. That makes me sad
More often than not it's just about power, control and ultimately to condition the other person.
Posted by o110
the withholding part is what I don’t understand unless you actually don’t want to do it, but then just say it
if I found myself in that kind of situation, I’d be sad and mad, and would probably find someone else to have sex with. not saying this is the right thing to do, but that’s common sense...? if you get pushed away, you go find someone nicer who comforts you
anyways, I’m pretty sure this is not going to happen, because I only date guys and guys don’t do this shit as far as I know. that’s a girl thing
Posted by BoringYeah but people say it's normalPosted by Sag898Just don't tolerate such behaviourPosted by BoringA lot of people I've known lolPosted by Sag898Who does that 🤔
Why do males and females constantly use sex as a method of control?
Do people seriously have no idea how to make love or be inmate with each other anymore?
It's all about seeing how long you can withhold it from someone? Only doing it when it's "earned"? Doing it for a price? Blaming a sexual traumatic experience that happened to you on your partner and punishing them for it? Hating it and saying you have no need for it?
It's amazing how closed off people are and they have no idea...I feel sorry for you, life is incredible short to be so mad all the time....click to expand
Posted by AntiochusAqua's always know what they are talking about I swear lolPosted by Sag898Posted by AntiochusThere shouldn't be space for that in relationships or sex. That makes me sad
More often than not it's just about power, control and ultimately to condition the other person.
It's 50/50. Those things are natural aspects of a relationhip and sex. They are just very susceptible to that kind of corruption. It always comes down to how those things are expressed and handled.
All those things could also happen in a aware, honest and joyful way that would only spice things up but that usually requires a lot of mututal trust, honesty and tenderness.click to expand
Posted by BoringFair point. But than like half of relationships wouldn't of existed haPosted by Sag898If it's not okay with you and you don't like it, don't tolerate it. Doesn't matter what people consider normal in this case,imoPosted by BoringYeah but people say it's normalPosted by Sag898Just don't tolerate such behaviourPosted by BoringA lot of people I've known lolPosted by Sag898Who does that 🤔
Why do males and females constantly use sex as a method of control?
Do people seriously have no idea how to make love or be inmate with each other anymore?
It's all about seeing how long you can withhold it from someone? Only doing it when it's "earned"? Doing it for a price? Blaming a sexual traumatic experience that happened to you on your partner and punishing them for it? Hating it and saying you have no need for it?
It's amazing how closed off people are and they have no idea...I feel sorry for you, life is incredible short to be so mad all the time....click to expand
Posted by BoringThanks. I get what your saying, I’ve always seen it that way but man do people notPosted by Sag898My advice is to have high standards and use that energy somewhere more worthwhilePosted by BoringFair point. But than like half of relationships wouldn't of existed haPosted by Sag898If it's not okay with you and you don't like it, don't tolerate it. Doesn't matter what people consider normal in this case,imoPosted by BoringYeah but people say it's normalPosted by Sag898Just don't tolerate such behaviourPosted by BoringA lot of people I've known lolPosted by Sag898Who does that 🤔
Why do males and females constantly use sex as a method of control?
Do people seriously have no idea how to make love or be inmate with each other anymore?
It's all about seeing how long you can withhold it from someone? Only doing it when it's "earned"? Doing it for a price? Blaming a sexual traumatic experience that happened to you on your partner and punishing them for it? Hating it and saying you have no need for it?
It's amazing how closed off people are and they have no idea...I feel sorry for you, life is incredible short to be so mad all the time....click to expand
Posted by Mr_PinchyShe sounds like a good wife. I’ll marry her
I think this is a question that can only be asked by a 20 something year old and it can only he answered by a 40+ year old who memorized all the reasons for witholding through the years.
For the record, im against witholding..... a long time ago when i still listened to the radio, they had an older couple in the studio, married for idk decades, 40, 50 years and when each was asked what is the secret the woman answered: i never witheld sex, i told him even if he comes home in the middle of the night all he has to do is lift the bed cover and get on with it.
And he said: i never used this privilege too excessively.
They listed more reasons but thats all i took from it.
Posted by slowdive80I wish I could articulate myself as well as you did there. I think this in my head but have no idea how to put it nicely. And what’s crazy is I have even had people tell they aren’t effected by it but clearly they were.
I dont get why people are more discerning about potential partners before being in a relationship.
If the person you are not committed to but wants a relationship finds it creepy that you are asking about their sex drive, then that's a definite thank you, next
Low sex drive is no bueno ever with me for a relationship. If you cant hack knocking the boots at least 2 to 3 times a week provided there is no period, illness, or crisis going on, sorry here's the door.
It's different obviously when you are dealing with a victim of rape or sex abuse. But then I wouldnt get in a relationship with them because I would feel like having sex would mess them up psychologically. And I wouldnt want to do anything to cause them emotional pain as they have been through enough.
As badly as I feel for their situation I cant be in a sexless relationship
Posted by slowdive80I agree 100%
@sag898 - Thanks I appreciate that. I think a lot of victims of sex crimes lie to themselves thinking they are ok to be physically intimate but clearly cant let the baggage behind when it's showtime/
It takes years of deep therapy and commitment for someone that is a victim of assault/molestation to be ok with having sex without being triggered.
If I dont have evidence of them having actively worked out that issue, I am not going to feel comfortable pursuing dating with them
I walked away from a virgo sun/pisces moon gal because I wasnt convinced she had fully gotten her trauma somewhat healed.
She had disclosed to me being a victim of rape, which broke my heart. She is bisexual so I asked her this question. When you've been physically intimate with someone after that trauma would you say you felt at ease being with a woman more without any triggers?
She said yes so that was all I needed to know to shut it down from going further. As it was obvious she had not been fully able to heal from the trauma since she wasnt comfortable with men.
Theres nothing wrong with not being physically intimate with someone if you have trauma. But these survivors should be seeking partners who are asexual.