a long friendship wasted????

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sakiangel91 on Monday, June 20, 2011 and has 4 replies.
What should I do? My best friend for like 6 or 7 years is mad at me I think. She hasn't been acting like herself since a guy dumped her I mean I understand shes heart broken but is that an excuse? I mean I've been there for her every step of the way and now it feels like I'm a mule instead of walking beside her. I've tried helping her in anyway I can and she gets mad at me when I finally speak up for myself. I've always watched out for her. I mean I'm older and I get the feeling I should protect her even though shes smart but doesn't think before acting when it comes to dangerous things sometimes.........so what do I do? do I patch things up with her and keep being her friend or do I just let her stay mad at me for speaking up and end the friendship?
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Sounds like you get taken for granted. Did you get into a verbal fight with your friend, or maybe the guy that kicked their heart in the ass liked you and they treat you with spite because of it. It doesn't sound like an equal dynamic if you speak the truth and are bullied when you stand up for yourself. I say that seem like their self absorbed and you might think about X "n" them out of your life.
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1. On 1 hand, don't take it too personal, but on the other hand, take it personal. Friendships are still "work" even when 1 or both people in it are going through their own personal issues.
2. Don't stop being her friend just b/c she may not "get it" yet. Remember that we ALL had to go through those stages when we lashed out at everyone else BUT the original source of our inner pain.
3. Her issues aren't with you. The only reasons she's lashing out on you is b/c you're always right there when she's ready to unleash her rage/insecurity on someone/something
4. Everyone's gotta learn. This probably isn't the 1st boyfriend she'll "change" b/c of & he probably won't be the last either. You eventually came around during the times in your life when you were hard-headed & had 100 people giving you advice, so give her that same credit & assume that like all of us, we'll realize the truth & grow ONCE the storm is finally over. She's gotta learn too just like you did. And you can't control nor count the amount of time it's gonna take for her to learn
5. Take a step back. Yes, you're her friend so you can't help but to wanna be protective, BUT some people don't want protection in certain situations & in fact may react with anger instead of appreciation for such a good friend. Again, don't take it personal. Her judgment is clouded. Had she been in her right mind, you & her wouldn't be having these issues
6. She's probably tired of you giving her advice that she didn't ask for. When a person has their mind made up to do what they want, all outsiders who warn against it will feel that person's wrath. If anything, you guys being too over-protective is further pushing her into the arms of her ex or any other people she oughta stay away from
7. The best way to be there for her is to back up & give her some breathing room. Have faith that when the storm blows over, she'll apologize to you, realize her mistakes AND learn from them. Don't give up on her
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:x
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