a woman can't initiate domestic violence

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by DAMEN VI on Saturday, July 26, 2014 and has 25 replies.
on herself?
i ask this because of the backlash ESPN's sports analyst Stephen a. Smith is receiving over a comment he made regarding a nfl player getting suspended for two games after punching his then fiancee (they're married now)..
he basically said hitting women is wrong,period..but sometimes a woman can provoke it and both parties should do what they can to prevent this type of situation from occurring..
female ESPN sports analyst Michelle Beadle tweeted:
"I'm thinking about wearing a miniskirt this weekend...I'd hate to think what I'd be asking for by doing so @stephenasmith. #dontprovoke"
"I was in an abusive relationship once. I'm aware that men & women can both be the abuser. To spread a message that we not 'provoke' is wrong"
"Violence isn't the victim's issue. It's the abuser's. To insinuate otherwise is irresponsible and disgusting. Walk. Away."
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how is saying "let's not provoke violence" a wrong message? if an intruder comes into your house, and you shoot them, didn't the intruder provoke that? and couldn't the situation have been avoided if the intruder didn't come into your house?
again, i'm not saying a woman deserves to get beat, BUT in some situations,they can initiate it
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If you go asking for trouble you're going to get trouble! I was in an abusive relationship for years and never provoked until the very end..I knew what I was doing by that time. Instigating is never a good look but it's not an excuse for the abuser either. Self control is essential, the abuser needs to have self respect and respect for the other person.
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Posted by Impulsv
No u walk away n if she is causing drama leave the relationship.


that's the obvious thing to say, but love isn't always as simple as that.
Posted by Livibowyah
If you go asking for trouble you're going to get trouble! I was in an abusive relationship for years and never provoked until the very end..I knew what I was doing by that time. Instigating is never a good look but it's not an excuse for the abuser either. Self control is essential, the abuser needs to have self respect and respect for the other person.
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exactly!
and like you also said it's still wrong for a man to hit a woman, but that doesn't give the woman the right to disrespect & do whatever she pleases against her spouse..every woman isn't the same, just like every man isn't the same..certain people act a certain way, and other people react a certain way
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Posted by Rabbit
A man walks away from an abusive woman.
A pussy bitch hits her.

Smith is an idiot. He's always been an idiot. He makes his living providing "commentary" about grown men chasing a ball around like children. He has no business running his dipshit mouth about things like domestic violence.


no disrespect ma'am but were you a victim of domestic abuse before? because it sounds like it.
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Uhh. Yeah, women can initiate domestic violence. Anyone can, hell even the damn dog can initiate it. It all up to how the person being abused deals with it. If he/she hits him/her well they're both going to be pretty damn guilty and they should both get arrested.
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Posted by Rabbit
Posted by DAMEN VI
Posted by Rabbit
A man walks away from an abusive woman.
A pussy bitch hits her.

Smith is an idiot. He's always been an idiot. He makes his living providing "commentary" about grown men chasing a ball around like children. He has no business running his dipshit mouth about things like domestic violence.


no disrespect ma'am but were you a victim of domestic abuse before? because it sounds like it.


No but I've watched my mother get the shit kicked out of her by an abusive boyfriend.
The fact you even consider what Smith said even remotely true speaks volumes about your lack of character.

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oh ok that explain's why your so emotional, but like the other lady said in this thread who was also victimized at one point, some woman can provoke violence against themselves..so maybe your mother did something to deserve it..was it right that she got her ass kicked while you sat there and just watched? not at all, but it's two sides to every tale..thats all im saying
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Posted by starlover
So easy to see on this thread who the men are with a backbone and who are the ones without

Calling a male ma'am because he has courage and strength is very stupid and incredibly telling. This reminds me of the males here that refer to women as ho's and bitches
*She initiated it* is like saying *my child was misbehaving and pushing me to the limit so i hit her*. The child did not deserve it ~ nobody does...we have no right to strike anyone

There is one man here who raises a child alone
There is one man here who is is a loving and faithful husband

Those men will be derided because they are strong masculine men who know how to treat women respectfully

How bloody stupid is that?




i thought he was indeed a female at 1st..and if a woman has sexual relations with plenty of men then she is in fact a whore..
and it's good to know your comparing discipling a disobedient child to a grown woman that's provoking a man your in a relationship with towards violence
there are some men in this world that are abused by women too..it's considered comical when that's the case thou..double standards works both ways
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Posted by Rabbit

Yes as a nine year old I was going to stop a grown man *rolls eyes*.
What's next?
Blaming women for getting raped? Murdered?


like i said, every situation isn't the same, therefore you can't just say "men shouldn't hit woman" without knowing all the details of the situation
"people shouldn't kill people"..but, it happens, and in court, they have to break down why it happened to see if it was truly a murder or justifiable homicide..
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Posted by starlover
Bullshit, everyone knows Rabbit is a MAN...you were trying to get a rise out of him


his reply was very feminine in nature, so i assumed it was a woman..plus his name is rabbit *shrugs*
you seem more offended by it then him thou..ya'll fucking or what?
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I don't think a man should hit a woman but some women follow men when they walk away and american (men) police officers like to slam women on the ground like they are grown men all the time but nobody says a word to them but good job.
sometimes the woman brought it on herself like making emo comments about the mans dead mother etc. men shouldn't hit women but its unrealistic to say every situation is the same. as an adult woman there are lines you should know not to cross because you like your face. thats your responsibility as a woman. i saw a grown woman pull a knife out on an unarmed man walking away from the situation. the more the guy didnt react to her getting in his face pushing him, slapping him, punching him,calling him pussy, the more dangerous she became. why? because he said hello to an ex in front of her. the funny thing is that when he called the police GROWN MEN choked her as out after doing a wrestling move on her and this was after she put the knife away because she saw them pull up but she was "overly aggressive" so they "subdued" her lol. now if her boyfriend would have broke her nose he'd be facing all kinds of charges. they took her to jail and she got out on bail the next day
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I believe in everybody keeping their hands to themselves. Of course, I think a man should have more self-control and walk away. They are physically stronger and should be able to take a lick or two from a woman lol, but the right thing for everyone to do is control themselves.
I lose a bit of sympathy if I hear of domestic violence situations where the woman strikes first. I still feel sad about the situation and feel the guy should walk away, but I'm a firm believer that there are consequences to actions so I just hope lessons are learned.
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HeartofaLion, I have seen where the woman follows that man that tries to walk away. I've really seen some women beg for some type of reaction, no matter what it is.*sigh*
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@ Inana04 I think those women are brave lol but extremely stupid as well.
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I hope your Cancer gf never "provokes" you Damen because it sounds like you're making a case where you'd be entitled to hit her.
Your comparison with burglary and murder is far fetched on so many counts but you know it. Keep thinking like that and explain your reasoning in a house of law..I'm sure they'll agree with you and let you walk.
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Posted by Damnata
I hope your Cancer gf never "provokes" you Damen because it sounds like you're making a case where you'd be entitled to hit her.
Your comparison with burglary and murder is far fetched on so many counts but you know it. Keep thinking like that and explain your reasoning in a house of law..I'm sure they'll agree with you and let you walk.



I notice people like you on this board tend to turn a regular topic into something personal...
And I understand that your a female and that's what ya'll do, but the guys on here that's getting emotional over this is rather strange
But one is a redneck that has chickens as pets and beats farm animals, while the other is an androgynous person who names himself after bunnies so I shouldn't be surprised
At the end of the day, I asked a simple question, and a simple answer to it is all I ask for..but when you start bringing your emotions into it and start assuming more than needed in regards to the topic is when the problem starts

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And you say my burglar & murder theory is far fetched but was this not also far fetched:
"I'm thinking about wearing a miniskirt this weekend...I'd hate to think what I'd be asking for by doing so @stephenasmith. #dontprovoke"

??
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Posted by DAMEN VI
Posted by Damnata
I hope your Cancer gf never "provokes" you Damen because it sounds like you're making a case where you'd be entitled to hit her.
Your comparison with burglary and murder is far fetched on so many counts but you know it. Keep thinking like that and explain your reasoning in a house of law..I'm sure they'll agree with you and let you walk.



I notice people like you on this board tend to turn a regular topic into something personal...

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Well if that's what you notice from what I post maybe your noticing isn't up to par.
You're reacting emotionally to a passing statement I made. That tells me more than this topic.
To stop emotional women and females who do all that we do..maybe state in your OP you only want responses from men. Or you know..you could ignore anything that opposes your higher than mighty truth. It would be easier for you.
To respond with a simple answer..no, no amount of provoking from either gender should warrant the other party to turn violent. Self control above everything.
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Posted by Damnata

Well if that's what you notice from what I post maybe your noticing isn't up to par.
You're reacting emotionally to a passing statement I made. That tells me more than this topic.
To stop emotional women and females who do all that we do..maybe state in your OP you only want responses from men. Or you know..you could ignore anything that opposes your higher than mighty truth. It would be easier for you.
To respond with a simple answer..no, no amount of provoking from either gender should warrant the other party to turn violent. Self control above everything.


like i said i understand a woman getting emotional over this..the males that's letting that estrogen in them come out is what perplexes me
but i respect your opinion regarding the subject..thank you, come again

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I haven't read most of this. I don't think anyone can instigate abuse, but you can certainly instigate getting knocked out. I've never hit a woman and don't ever plan to. However, if someone kicks me in the balls, for instance, I may lose control for a second and pop you one. That's not abuse, it's reaction. I'm a big dude, most women I've dated have been small. One angry jab and I'd probably knock em out. I couldn't imagine a woman making me angry enough to keep hitting, but there's definitely a line that you shouldn't cross.
I've had women in my face screaming some nasty shit. I've taken a slap to the face and those girly punches on my shoulders. I have no problem stopping you from hitting me, but I haven't hit back. I did push one because she just wouldn't stop. I pushed her back inside, closed the door, and left. The line is a lot further out there for a woman, a dude in these examples would have been put down, but it is there.
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Posted by size zero superhero
Posted by DAMEN VI
Posted by Damnata

Well if that's what you notice from what I post maybe your noticing isn't up to par.
You're reacting emotionally to a passing statement I made. That tells me more than this topic.
To stop emotional women and females who do all that we do..maybe state in your OP you only want responses from men. Or you know..you could ignore anything that opposes your higher than mighty truth. It would be easier for you.
To respond with a simple answer..no, no amount of provoking from either gender should warrant the other party to turn violent. Self control above everything.


like i said i understand a woman getting emotional over this..the males that's letting that estrogen in them come out is what perplexes me
but i respect your opinion regarding the subject..thank you, come again


LOL @ chalking it up to estrogen when a man OR woman disagrees with your opinion & likening the whole species of rabbit to femininity. That's rich. Then idolizing Ike Turner, the patron saint of wife-beating?
Are you a graduate of the DonJohnson Debate Academy? Class valedictorian?
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na, don johnson estrogen levels is through the roof...i'm almost 100% sure he has man boobs & some junk in the trunk
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Morally, a man has a right to defend himself. The same is supposed to be true legally, but we all know that that's not always the case.
Men are punished more harshly for domestic violence. Even a quick push (for whatever reason) can land him in jail with a permanent record as a woman beater.
It's not fair. But welcome to the real world, where there's double standards. Given all the consequences a man stands to endure if he defends himself via whatever force, is it really worth it?
'Provoke' means I WANT YOU TO DO IT
That's not the same as YOU HAVE TO DO IT B/C I WANT YOU TO DO IT
If she's hitting on you, drop your pride (men are less likely to report domestic violence than women), call the police. Then leave her. Let another man suffer the consequences of hitting her back. In the meantime, leave her alone and go find a woman who doesn't 'provoke' you into going to jail smh
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Posted by size zero superhero
A woman who stays in a relationship with a physically abusive man has severe personal issues to be addressed. Especially if she has children living under the same roof as the abuser--she is a major part of the problem.
A man who stays in a relationship with a physically abusive woman has severe personal issues to be addressed. Especially if he has children living under the same roof as the abuser--he is a major part of the problem.


wow...

REALEST.SHIT.YOU.EVER.SPOKE
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Your douchebaggery just keeps getting more and more compelling.
Please continue to give examples of what NOT to be like.
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Posted by size zero superhero
Posted by DAMEN VI

there are some men in this world that are abused by women too..it's considered comical when that's the case thou..double standards works both ways


When a man is physically abused by a woman, this situation is primarily laughed at by other MEN who cannot take it seriously(namely those with law enforcement jobs--a male-dominated industry). It's guys assuming that a man who gets battered by his female partner is a sissy prisspot whose wife wears the pants in the relationship.
Women are more likely to conclude that the abusive female in the relationship is a psychotic mess, rather than wrongfully thinking the guy on the receiving end is the problem in that scenario. LOL. Real talk.
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This is just more proof that guys don't want to take accountability for their actions a good portion of the time.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Your douchebaggery just keeps getting more and more compelling.
Please continue to give examples of what NOT to be like.


So people should be more like you? A bitter old hag who's posts is usually laced with negativity and slight depression? Gtfoh you fuckin hobgoblin
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