Advice
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by venusinscorpiolady on Wednesday, July 9, 2014 and has 5 replies.
Hi
So without boring people with details, I had a difficult breakup where to summarise the person seemed to want to destroy me, it got very nasty.
Anyway he is gone. But what I learnt is that I need to make myself stronger so
So without boring people with details, I had a difficult breakup where to summarise the person seemed to want to destroy me, it got very nasty.
Anyway he is gone. But what I learnt is that I need to make myself stronger so
Hi
So without boring people with details, I had a difficult breakup where to summarise the person seemed to want to destroy me, it got very nasty.
Anyway he is gone. But what I learnt is that I need to make myself stronger so I dont take on the values of what other people say to me. My Capricorn and Aquarius best friends have been helpful but both of them keep saying to me over and over again that I really need to love myself.
I was brought up in quite a cold home where my mother was quite harsh so my issues around self esteem began much earlier with some more issues in my teens.
Neway, I know i can google 'how to love yourself more' but I wanted to ask you guys if you had any tips.
My moods are good like i go to the gym (but this month I cant because I am fasting and cant drink water, I take care of myself, have a good job, volunteer twice a week and even will be beginning a PhD next year. Like I know what my goals and where I am going, financially I have a plan for savings and its going well.
But I cant help at times to feel worthless, my ex really bad mouthed me and said things below the belt and I dont even know why he did this, my best friend told me he is twisted and sick and really was my downfall but I cant help but feel like I am worthless. Will I ever find love, I wanted kids by now. He said I am a bad person and insecure and twisted but I never hurt anyone and always have good intentions for people.
The break up was after years of going back and forth with a capricorn who just cheated and used me but I never thought he would turn so horribly that he tried to turn my best friend against me.
I began questioning myself thinking maybe I am not a good person. but deep down I genuinely mind my own business and am so busy with work that I dont know why he said such horrible things.
I never will go back to him but I wana heal and learn to love myself but I dont know how, I am done the practical things but there is an underlying feeling of sadness, i always feel like everyone laughs at me, thinks im worthless and pathetic because they are all married and I am not. But I clinged on to the cap for so long cos I believed in him
Any advice?
So without boring people with details, I had a difficult breakup where to summarise the person seemed to want to destroy me, it got very nasty.
Anyway he is gone. But what I learnt is that I need to make myself stronger so I dont take on the values of what other people say to me. My Capricorn and Aquarius best friends have been helpful but both of them keep saying to me over and over again that I really need to love myself.
I was brought up in quite a cold home where my mother was quite harsh so my issues around self esteem began much earlier with some more issues in my teens.
Neway, I know i can google 'how to love yourself more' but I wanted to ask you guys if you had any tips.
My moods are good like i go to the gym (but this month I cant because I am fasting and cant drink water, I take care of myself, have a good job, volunteer twice a week and even will be beginning a PhD next year. Like I know what my goals and where I am going, financially I have a plan for savings and its going well.
But I cant help at times to feel worthless, my ex really bad mouthed me and said things below the belt and I dont even know why he did this, my best friend told me he is twisted and sick and really was my downfall but I cant help but feel like I am worthless. Will I ever find love, I wanted kids by now. He said I am a bad person and insecure and twisted but I never hurt anyone and always have good intentions for people.
The break up was after years of going back and forth with a capricorn who just cheated and used me but I never thought he would turn so horribly that he tried to turn my best friend against me.
I began questioning myself thinking maybe I am not a good person. but deep down I genuinely mind my own business and am so busy with work that I dont know why he said such horrible things.
I never will go back to him but I wana heal and learn to love myself but I dont know how, I am done the practical things but there is an underlying feeling of sadness, i always feel like everyone laughs at me, thinks im worthless and pathetic because they are all married and I am not. But I clinged on to the cap for so long cos I believed in him
Any advice?
hello fellow,
Ex bad mouthing? that's a sign of bitterness. leave his ass forever.
To love yourself is to pamper yourself like clothes, things at home and give others like things
you don't need and use... maybe also a bit new look how you dress up and a bit calm when talking
others... Scorpio quite very strong in their opinions so avoid it...somehow they sees you as a new
person. kind and loving.
Posted by M143
hello fellow,
Ex bad mouthing? that's a sign of bitterness. leave his ass forever.
To love yourself is to pamper yourself like clothes, things at home and give others like things
you don't need and use... maybe also a bit new look how you dress up and a bit calm when talking
others..
Thanks for replying, yes I agree, he is gone forever now.
I think these things you mentioned will help, its just that I am on a strict budget and want to save as much as possible before I move out next year but I think perhaps I could use whats in my wardrobe and make more of an effort and change my hair or something.
For some of us it takes literally decades to get to the point where you realize it is time to learn to love yourself.
Getting to the root cause is really what your goal should be. Look within. Exploring different reasons or causes as to why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, it comes down to a simple matter of breaking that habitual train of thought. The fall-back thought that happens anytime something happens in our lives that is difficult "It's my fault" or "I didn't do it right" or "There's something wrong with me"... Those are the thoughts that can and will continually surface and they are the thoughts that need to be replaced with something positive about yourself.
It is good to take a very big step away from the situation and realize that we are all here learning. No one person being of more value and worth in this world than another. That includes you.
Realize that while you are learning about yourself and what drives you that there will be others that come along to help teach or show you who you are. In the scenario with your ex, for instance, he taught you that you ARE strong - you walked away and Good Job. Don't forget what he looks, sounds, and feels like ok?
I think you will find it much easier to Love You with a little understanding of your nature and the nature's of the people that helped shape your core self. There isn't really a need to find blame here, just simple knowledge and understanding of the light and dark within each and every one of us.
Then you will better be able to love you, a Successful, Driven, Strong, Health-Conscious, Fun-Loving Woman that deserves all that life has to offer.
Don't be sad and don't be afraid, you're not broke...
Getting to the root cause is really what your goal should be. Look within. Exploring different reasons or causes as to why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, it comes down to a simple matter of breaking that habitual train of thought. The fall-back thought that happens anytime something happens in our lives that is difficult "It's my fault" or "I didn't do it right" or "There's something wrong with me"... Those are the thoughts that can and will continually surface and they are the thoughts that need to be replaced with something positive about yourself.
It is good to take a very big step away from the situation and realize that we are all here learning. No one person being of more value and worth in this world than another. That includes you.
Realize that while you are learning about yourself and what drives you that there will be others that come along to help teach or show you who you are. In the scenario with your ex, for instance, he taught you that you ARE strong - you walked away and Good Job. Don't forget what he looks, sounds, and feels like ok?
I think you will find it much easier to Love You with a little understanding of your nature and the nature's of the people that helped shape your core self. There isn't really a need to find blame here, just simple knowledge and understanding of the light and dark within each and every one of us.
Then you will better be able to love you, a Successful, Driven, Strong, Health-Conscious, Fun-Loving Woman that deserves all that life has to offer.
Don't be sad and don't be afraid, you're not broke...
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