Am I friendzoned?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Ownard on Wednesday, November 1, 2017 and has 11 replies.
Hey there,

I have been friends with this girl for a while now and I have recently developed some feelings towards her. I'm picking up signals that suggest she likes me (glances at me constantly in group scenarios, always talking via text and when I see her) and I feel some chemistry there. The problem comes with what she is saying, she said a few days ago "I was talking to a friend about what I want out of a man, I can't be with someone who's dumb, I need someone smart." Her friend said "Like Ownard" "Yeah someone like Ownard." She told me this one on one and I'm not sure what she means. I ain't particularly good with girls but I think I may have bee friendzoned.

Any thoughts?
That was harsh lol....
Sorry guys my wording when writing this was wrong. She didn't call me dumb, I missed a part where she said she needs someone smart, I will correct this in the post. I was pretty tired when I wrote this and more than a bit confused.

Posted by Terramine
Idk man. Thats odd all things considered. Seems more like she was testing to see if you'd get hurt over that aka if you cared/wanted to be with her? How did you respond?

Honestly I wish Melody would have at least "friendzoned" me. Cause at least then we would be friends and I could see and hang out with her. Instead of this much worse "Nullzoned" lol
I can't remember how I responded. I think I said something along the lines of "Like me?" I think you may have been right because she didn't stop staring at me through it.

That's unfortunate man, but I've been put into the friendzone everything I've pursued a relationship. I know what's going on, I'm too nice, but this will go against my nature and how I was raised.
Posted by Paranoid
In all honesty I think maybe she's conflicted. She likes you a little but doesn't know if it's a friend like or more? I have done this to male friends before... It's creating a barrier before anything could go "wrong". It's kinda like me saying "I'm not going to be the one risking our friendship" . She could have meant it in another way though but for me that's what it is.
If this is the case, is there anything I can do? I've considered just asking her why she told me this as there was honestly no real need for her to, she just came out with it randomly.
Only one way to know. Ask her out.
Posted by xyinsaturn
Posted by Ownard
Hey there,

I have been friends with this girl for a while now and I have recently developed some feelings towards her. I'm picking up signals that suggest she likes me (glances at me constantly in group scenarios, always talking via text and when I see her) and I feel some chemistry there. The problem comes with what she is saying, she said a few days ago "I was talking to a friend about what I want out of a man, I can't be with someone who's dumb, I need someone smart." Her friend said "Like Ownard" "Yeah someone like Ownard." She told me this one on one and I'm not sure what she means. I ain't particularly good with girls but I think I may have bee friendzoned.

Any thoughts?
Interesting thing about what we call "chemistry". Is this chemistry a mutual feeling?
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Well I feel there is something there.

Posted by Terramine
Posted by Ownard
I can't remember how I responded. I think I said something along the lines of "Like me?" I think you may have been right because she didn't stop staring at me through it.

That's unfortunate man, but I've been put into the friendzone everything I've pursued a relationship. I know what's going on, I'm too nice, but this will go against my nature and how I was raised.

I am right, she's not friendzoning you. How you decide to act from here is what will actually friendzone you. She was challenging your ego, so what are you going to do now that you KNOW she was doing it to see how you'd get phased? Because if anything your aloofness is attractive to her?

Stand up. Rise. Be confident.

The best possible reaction you could have done was something like "Oh yeah? Would a dumb un-date-able guy do this?" and then kiss the shit out of her passionately. But considering the reaction you gave, I don't think you blew it at all. But if you want this to go somewhere and not be relegated to the friendzone for all eternity. You're gonna have to do something bold and confront her about dating her. Not asking her if she likes you, but I mean bluntly asserting that you do and that you do want to date her.
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I would recommend you re-read the post as I made a mistake in the phrasing and correlated it. Really? I want to date her but we were discussing about dating today and she said that there is no one she is interested in and that I should wait until University and I'll find someone there. What she says and what she does are different things. I told her today every interest I've had has friendliness me and asked what I have been doing wrong, she told me I'd find someone out there for myself. It's difficult to tell because I'm not that good with body language and flirting but I feel like she is but what she says is completely different. She wants someone like me, she isn't interested in anyone; I'm just not sure how to take it right now.

I should also let you know that I am a shy and reserved guy. Big things like what you described earlier would be grossly out of character for me.
Posted by aquarius_man
Posted by Ownard
Hey there,

I have been friends with this girl for a while now and I have recently developed some feelings towards her. I'm picking up signals that suggest she likes me (glances at me constantly in group scenarios, always talking via text and when I see her) and I feel some chemistry there. The problem comes with what she is saying, she said a few days ago "I was talking to a friend about what I want out of a man, I can't be with someone who's dumb, I need someone smart." Her friend said "Like Ownard" "Yeah someone like Ownard." She told me this one on one and I'm not sure what she means. I ain't particularly good with girls but I think I may have bee friendzoned.

Any thoughts?
friendzone? au contraire, i would say.

she flirts with you. its just that you started off as friends and she doesn t think of u as a potential partner, until u tug at her sleeve: and say: hey im right here. the man of your dreams with the high iq

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How would I go about doing that, I'm a shy and reserved guy so I'm not into big and extravagant actions. She said today that she isn't interested in anyone right now while we were discussing my dating history.

I suppose a big problem is that I can't really tell that what is flirty. I've never been in a relationship and I've never had anyone flirt with me. I don't know what to look for so I am assuming these behaviours are flirty in nature.
Posted by aquarius_man
Posted by Ownard

How would I go about doing that, I'm a shy and reserved guy so I'm not into big and extravagant actions. She said today that she isn't interested in anyone right now while we were discussing my dating history.

I suppose a big problem is that I can't really tell that what is flirty. I've never been in a relationship and I've never had anyone flirt with me. I don't know what to look for so I am assuming these behaviours are flirty in nature.
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when the girls around you notice your intelligence, its a good sign. green lights. up to you to show yourself off, in a subtle and natural manner. its actually best if she s not interested in anyone atm. its when you introduce yourself, subtly. without making it too obvious. use this 'friendship' you got going on but don t insist on topics that friendzone you. invest in such topics where your intelligence can become charming and a wooing tool

whats her sign>?


She is Leo. I'm a Pisces.
Posted by aquarius_man
Posted by Ownard

She is Leo. I'm a Pisces.
hmm i think the leo ladies in the leo forum could provide more substantial advice than me

but in my case, whenever a girl noticed my wit, i usually ended up having sex with her

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Thanks, I will ask them later today when I have some free time. I told some of my close friends about this and they think it is odd and she may be playing games. One of the friends I told this to is actually her ex and he says that he's seen a difference in her behaviour around me.