Any Interracial Couples?

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venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
Yups, we are. We can stand here and say "I'm this, this, this, that and this" till we're blue in the face. But who the heck knows really unless they've got genealogy back to the dawn of civilization. That's why I call myself an American Mutt. My first daughters Pa is Black, Indian, Swedish and again; Who knows? My daughter is 1/8th black, you'd not see it, her eyes are the color of ocean water and her hair is straight and brown, but it's her heritage. Her fellow is bi-racial. I always told all the kiddos it matters little what color anyone is, just pick a good human to roll with and you'll be just fine. 🙂
When they were small and had questions about the difference of skin color I had them break different colored eggs into a bowl. See? The outside is different but we're all the same inside.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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i get what you all are saying but i don't like the word "mutt." if aries and i end up making babies, i'd be very much insulted for them to be referred to this way.

ultimately though, you're right. there are very few people that can lay claims to a "pure" racial identity. i think the day will come where people will identify more with their cultural identity vs their racial one. sure, there will still be racial distinctions but at the end of the day, i personally have more in common with an American of any color than i have with an ebony person born outside of the US. so within these borders, i'm ebony. outside these borders, i'm an American who happens to be ebony.

hmm...why can't i get this song out of my head? 😛



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venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
You don't have to like the word tubby, but that's all it is; a word. It's just what I use for myself. I'm a mix of many. If children come along, call them whatever you and your man like best. I just say 'children'. They're all ornery as snake poo in their own right, bless them. I was admiring a beautiful little girl one day while my car was getting repaired, my eldest was all of 10 months I do believe. Oh she was a beauty, I'm sure she's lovely now. But all these braids with the wee barrettes, huge Bambi eyes. Mother was white, Da was black. The woman next to me started spewing ignorance about mixing races and I turned to her, cocked my head and icily said "MY daughter is quite the same, just because you do not SEE it, it's still a part of her." And turned away and didn't speak for the remainder. Her ignorance I blame on her parents, that she fed it just made me sad.

That was quite brave of you Tate, it'll be alright, I promise. *patting hand* 😉
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venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
I understand what you mean tubby, and words do hurt. Children are cruel to each other, that's a fact. That goes for all kids though, whether someone has red hair, too many freckles, too thin, too heavy, crossed eye. It matters not. Hell, adults are cruel to each other as far as that goes. But arm your children with knowledge, teach them their worth, inform them of everything you can't possibly shield them from on the playground.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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@venus, i don't think we're in disagreement so no worries.

i guess what bothers me is poor dialogue/word choices by well-intentioned adults. people like the idiot in the repair shop are what they are but in a way, they are less of the problem b/c chances are, reasonable folk steer clear of them anyway.

you're right, it starts with the parents, the aunts, the uncles...adults in that child's life. i have friends who use the n-word around their kids and i do feel the need to tell them to stop. namely b/c my kids are gonna come in contact with their kids at some point. maybe it's not my place but it takes a village to raise a child and i want my village to be a lil more PC. this is why i will be home-schooling my kids and all of their friends will be imaginary...including the dog.
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venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
Naw! I'm not in disagreement with anyones viewpoint unless it's not standing on terra firma. The ol' head in arse thing. You're right that children should have strong, wonderful people in their life. I was raised that people are people. No more, no less. Brilliant, idiotic, backwards, wonderful, etc. Whatever tag a human collects in life has no color at all. That crosses all lines.
Perhaps that's ala Josephine Baker Rainbow Coalition, or Utopian, I'll just fob that off on my hippy parents and smile that I was taught well. 🙂
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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hmm..., i get what you're saying i just don't think it's that simple. example - a friend of mine who is ebony but fairly light in complexion married a darker ebony dude. they have a baby. they're in the hospital. i call my girlfriend who's in direct contact with the new mother. while i'm on the phone with her, another friend stops by her house to inquire about the baby as well.

i hear the chick in the background say, "what color are the baby's ears?"

this, along with a lot other similar questions are all to determine what color the baby will ultimately be. it dates back to slavery but continues today. it's similar to looking at a "mutt" puppy's paws to determine how big the animal will get.

now imagine what happens to the child who is light? they are favored at birth. and the ones who are not? well, they're not tossed aside but they're not favored either. they grow up with a sense that there is something wrong with them even if nothing is said directly.

it's so easy to say, you're an adult now...get over it. but damaged children become damaged adults. and damaged adults produce damaged kids.

this discussion makes me think of this...

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venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
I understand what you're saying on a logical standpoint tubby, but can I truly say I know where you're coming from? No, I cannot in good conscience say that with certainty because I am not a black woman. Then and only then could I know. You have your own upbringing and social strata that's a part of you.
And that may seem like a simplified version of the human condition, but that's how I was raised. My father has friends of all colors that were in and out of the house the entire time I was growing up. And he did indeed say things to me like "Assholes come in all colors." And I took it to heart and internalized it. I get along with pretty well everyone I run across. The color of their skin is a non-issue with me. I'm interested in their mind and their soul. Racial intolerance to me is ignorance. A hatred perpetuated for no reason other than someones melanin content. To me that is a pretty piss poor excuse to dislike someone. And if my daughter and her beau settle in, get married and have children they will be my grandbabies. No matter if they were pink. purple, polka-dotted or striped.
I know of the favor you speak of. It is up to those that know better to forge a new patch. In my eyes I would just comment on what a beautiful baby and snatch that lil' stinker up for hugs and smooches.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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@venus...i don't think it takes your being a black woman to empathize with the basic premise of inferiority complexes.

i mean, you're a woman. by your gender alone, you should get it. even though i was raised to be strong, i can empathize with women raised in countries/communities where being born female makes you second class citizen. where you're denied education, rights, freedom just because you have a vagina. i mean countless of young women are being sold into slavery or made prostitute at young ages. do you have to have gone through that yourself to empathize with their plight?

or to an extreme, i don't have to be a victim of female circumcision to be angered by this practice. i mean, do i need to have my clitoris lobbed off to fully relate? do you? if not, then you don't have to be a descendant of slaves to understand what it is to be a black woman.

when people fail to relate it's not because we exist within different skins or circumstances. you can empathize more than you realize...but only if you choose to.

and what the hell were we talking about?!?!? 🙂

the word mutt. would you use it to describe our future grandbabies? if so...WOW! if not, why not?

bad words and bad deeds are bad all the time. they don't get to take a hiatus from being bad when it suits us...no even on a forum. you can't be right all the time but you can be wrong every day.
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venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
No tubby, I do not have to be something to empathize. I just mean I would refuse to get up on a platform and preach about it if I didn't have the whole experience to call my own. I will use my own experience as an example here. I thought I empathized with parents who have lost children. Did I truly understand until my own daughter died? No, no, and NO again. What I thought I felt wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. Not a fraction nor scintilla of what I will live with for the rest of my life. So of course as a woman my emotions run the gamut with everything you've mentioned. Card carrying vagina member of almost 39 years. 😉
And no, I would not call my grandchildren ( years from hence, please ) mutts. That is a word I use to encompass my mixed heritage because I do not have all the pieces of the puzzle. I am comfortable with the word personally. It has no negative connotations for me, for are not mutts the most lovable and loyal of the canine kingdom? I'd take a mutt over a purebred any day of the week.
I will pronounce them grandchildren, and fiercely love them with everything I have in me. And if my daughter chooses to use mixed heritage, multi-racial, or whatever PC flag is being flown at the time, that's her outlook. Her choice. I will respect my daughters decision, and the mans she has children with.

And Feisty, I am sitting at about day-glow m'self. Even though my hair is dark, my skin is quite pale, burn in the summer. Do I give a flip? Nope, I rock a red lipstick like no ones business and won't look like a tanned hide at the end of the day. Keep slathering on Sun factor Vampire, your skin will thank you for it. And good for you for not buying into the family diatribe. 🙂
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 6890 · Topics: 172
Posted by seavixen2
If anyone is interested...I'm putting a link on an article about growing up biracial from Rashida and Kidada Jones perspective (daughters of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton). If you click on the magazine pages...it enlarges so you can read the article. It's REALLY good.

http://rashidajones.blogspot.com/2009/04/magazines-glamour-scans-2005.html



i don't trust black men of quincy jones generation who married interracially. love aside, that generation grew up under the guise that lighter/whiter is better and far too many men of his generation married white women for that reason. some still do.

so it's no surprise to me that children born unto someone with this mentality will grow up feeling conflicted. in a way, they are born to at least one parent who struggling with some form of self-loathing/denial.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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it's a hip hop site so yeah, i'd generally expect nothing but stupidity there 🙂


1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.



minorities in this country can't be racist. not by definition. racism requires institutional discrimination that systematically puts one or more groups at a disadvantage while augmenting another.

racial intolerance without power = prejudice. thus, everyone can be prejudiced but TECHNICALLY, not everyone is racist.

now in countries where whites are the minority, say china, japan, jamaica...even haiti, if laws were passed to subjugate the white minority, then whites would be the victim of racism and the people of that country (chinese, japanese, jamaicans or haitians) would be racists.

conversely, you have south africa where whites were the minority and yet, they controlled the political and socio-economic systems up until the late 1980s. in that case, whites were racists.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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reread the initial post and try again. where did i say minorities can't be racist? i said MINORITIES IN THIS COUNTRY. UGH! can't stand to be misquoted. i also said that white folk born into a minority where there is a systematic effort to subjugate whites can be the victims of racism.

stop viewing things through white lenses and you'd get what i'm saying. this has nothing to do with white guilt deary. the answer you see is in the definition...

--

2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

--

when you define a word, you do so knowing that that word is ALL of those things. if it fails to meet one of those many definitions, it is NOT that word. thus, the word "rape" can mean sexual assault but it can refer to an herb. look it up. it doesn't stop being an herb just because you don't want it to be.

or human being is born, it has breasts, does that make it a woman. no. men have nipples too. being a woman requires more than ta-tas.

or what distinguishes mammals from reptiles? if an animal is warm-blooded, born alive, is a vertebrate, has lungs, breathes air, and feeds milk to it's young BUT DOES NOT have hair/fur, is it a mammal? no. it can't be. the definition of mammal requires that it have hair/fur.

understand?

all elements need to exist in order for it to be true otherwise it's something else. it doesn't mean that that rape isn't rape, man isn't a human being (debatable) or animal without fur isn't an animal. it's just not a mammal.

thus without "a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination," it's not racism. it can not be. it fails to meet the definition. thus, it must be something else. what is that something else? bigotry and prejudice come to mind.

just a lil fyi courtesy of a self-proclaimed dork.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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@seavixen - agreed. i understand why fiesty is resistant but i don't agree with being resistant after being presented the facts. it's not rational.

yes, minorities can say some horrible things but without power, it isn't racism. that doesn't mean minorities aren't capable of saying vile and disgusting things. they do it all day every day and there are words for this behavior. racist isn't one of them.

and for those who still fail to get it...say you're white and you moved to an island/country that was predominately black/latino. there's a law on the books that's worded in a way that says if you are of african/latino descent, you can vote but if not, you're a $ $ out. in effect, all white folk are denied the right to vote.

say the white folks on that island/country begin to speak out for "white rights." how many people do you think would say that white group is racist? is that fair considering they have absolutely no power? i mean, they can say vile things and then what? they're still the one's getting f'd over.

if you can wrap your mind around that concept, you get what i'm saying. if not...pigs go moo.
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cancergem
@cancergem
16 Years500+ PostsCancer

Comments: 1 · Posts: 539 · Topics: 21
i'd have to disagree with you tubby, minorities can most definitely be racist. i have a friend who's half black, half white. the white side of the family doesn't accept her and the black side of her family doesn't accept her as well because she's half white. a lot of my older sister used to hate white people till she found out our grandfather was white. hate is hate, theres enough power just in that emotion.
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tubbyscubby
@tubbyscubby
15 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 6890 · Topics: 172
OMG! can you guys even insult with some originality? how many times do i have to hear domino and p-angel and god knows who else? newsflash! i don't know these people i don't care about these people, i'm not insulted by the comparison and the fact that you keep regurgitating the same BS proves to me just how bland and unimaginative you are.

how many of you regulars have educated yourself beyond college?

what's the last book you've read?

name a country that begins with the letter u 😛

this isn't about agreeing with me. it's about rank stupidity you're ignorant feisty. relish in it. wallow in it. moooooooooooooooooo!

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