Asking for Money

Is that a CONCRETE deal breaker?
If a man asks a woman for $ $ is that a deal breaker? What about in reverse? What is your "rule of comfort" on this? Meaning how long should 2 people be dating until it's okay.. or is it EVER ok?

I have my opinion, but I want to see if I'm the norm or of the minority.

Thanks, my star-loving family!

for me it wouldn't be, but i don't take money seriously, so...

ideally, the two shouldn't mix, guess it would depend on the person/if you trusted them enough, etc. basically, i'd prepare myself not to see the money again, i'm paranoid like that :p. plus, i'd rather give money as a gift, not expecting payback but it would need to be for an outstanding, emergency situation. i don't think there's an appropiate length of time either, but i suppose 2 weeks in would be a bit much 😉

personally i would feel so wrong even asking my partner for money i couldn't ever see myself doing it. i'd rather they helped me in a more guidance, problem solving way (draw up a budget, help me direct my job hunt in a new way). throwing money at the situation wouldn't help me long-term.

^^^^^^^^^^^^ I 30000% agree. It's a "friend" of mine who knows I have interest in him. He's asking me to loan him $ $ . He needs to buy a car and has ZERO credit. He claims he needs $ 2500 down to get a decent rate and monthly payment. I said NO! I have obligations that I cannot just throw money at people. He doesn't have as many.
Secondly, yes I've known him for over 15 years, but STILL. I told him I felt uncomfortable and that I really didn't appreciate him asking. He claims that he can pay me back within the week. IMO, then he can save that $ $ to get the $ $ he needs.

After I told him this, he says he understand, but then gets an attitude/snippy w/ me.. Trunk off, MAN! I think I cut my losses SUPREMELY SHORT!

CHECK PLEASE!!!

Posted by ellessque
saying no in that circumstance appears to be the right thing to do.

i know it is hard to say no sometimes because you may feel guilty or like less of a friend.

the best lesson that i had with a friend is when i did tell him no. later on he told me he actually respected me for telling him no.

sounds weird, but i think some men will use that as a test and to see what they can get away with. i know women can do that too.

I agree. I think that he wanted to see if I was worth respect or maybe he's just a genuine TOOL! In either event, I told him no and that if he no longer wants to talk anymore, especially after throwing his temper tantrum (snippy/moody answers) then don't let the door hit him. Me personally, I don't fell comfortable asking anyone anything let alone an amount that big. If in the end, we no longer speak, he wasn't worth my time or attention anyway. Yes, I will miss him and care for him, but my self respect matter a WHOLE lot more!

Above being said, to you think that this is just particular to one sign or is it all of them are capable of asking for such?

i've seen it all over the zodiac. and i do find it weird when men ask women for money, esp for something non-essential like a car. and then the tantrum afterwards...huh. i even get annoyed when men on the street ask me for a cigarette. are you serious? ask homeboy next to you.

^^^^^ LOL. So true.. I think it's wrong too. ESP when you are walking down the street w/ 2 or 3 kids.. LOL It's like REALLY—

Him asking me for $ $ itself wouldn't be the deal breaker.

But me wondering why he'd ask me (someone he barely knows yet) for $ $ would be my main concern & his actual answer could possibly be a deal breaker

I'd be turned off by any man who wasn't already my good friend or my man, asking me for $ $ . I'd assume that he was either trying to use or scam me.

Plus people are already advised not to loan/give money to friends/loved ones b/c of the problems it can cause & b/c of the low chance of getting it all back, so it's even worse if you're asked by someone you don't really know/care for yet

I'm not 1 for sob stories! If we're on our 2nd date & you're already asking for $ $ , that's a problem & I'll probably stop dating you. BUT, if we just got in a relationship, if I know your financial situation & if you truly need help, that's 1 thing & hey, if I've got it, I'll lend it

I don't think women should be asking men for money unless they're 1. Trying to use him 2. Trying to scam him 3. In a relationship with him or 4. Very good friends with him.

And any guy who would give $ $ to a woman he hasn't gotten to know yet is a fool & shouldn't be surprised when her phone # is disconnected when he goes to collect his $ $ !

i only see female opinions in here...let me add a mans perspective


im not stingy with my money at all, i dont really care, but its not really a turnoff, its fucking annoying how "woman" change when they see that you have money....they be all like "oo how do you get money"(dumb teenage hoes)and get pissed when i tell em not to worry about it. and then some girls will come right out and admit that they want a man with money, then deny that thats shallow when i call them out on it. i had this bitch sayin shit like "i care about how i look" as an excuse! but if i like you, then thats a whole different situation..i dont mind spending money on little things for you because in truth, its common knowledge for men that ladies are leeches so its not like we dont expect it. i see alot of independent woman in here tho which really makes me happy.

Posted by krysrenee7
Him asking me for $ $ itself wouldn't be the deal breaker.

But me wondering why he'd ask me (someone he barely knows yet) for $ $ would be my main concern & his actual answer could possibly be a deal breaker

I'd be turned off by any man who wasn't already my good friend or my man, asking me for $ $ . I'd assume that he was either trying to use or scam me.

Plus people are already advised not to loan/give money to friends/loved ones b/c of the problems it can cause & b/c of the low chance of getting it all back, so it's even worse if you're asked by someone you don't really know/care for yet

I'm not 1 for sob stories! If we're on our 2nd date & you're already asking for $ $ , that's a problem & I'll probably stop dating you. BUT, if we just got in a relationship, if I know your financial situation & if you truly need help, that's 1 thing & hey, if I've got it, I'll lend it

I don't think women should be asking men for money unless they're 1. Trying to use him 2. Trying to scam him 3. In a relationship with him or 4. Very good friends with him.

And any guy who would give $ $ to a woman he hasn't gotten to know yet is a fool & shouldn't be surprised when her phone # is disconnected when he goes to collect his $ $ !

I've known this guy for over 15 years. This is the 1st time he's asked me for $ $ ever. it's a pretty large amt. like 4 figures and 1 comma. Also, he's trying to rebuild his life after some trouble. Supposedly on the straight and narrow. i don't know. We only reconnected 4 months ago. We are friends that I care for and would like someday to be more than... but we're not there yet.

Posted by westside
i only see female opinions in here...let me add a mans perspective


im not stingy with my money at all, i dont really care, but its not really a turnoff, its fucking annoying how "woman" change when they see that you have money....they be all like "oo how do you get money"(dumb teenage hoes)and get pissed when i tell em not to worry about it. and then some girls will come right out and admit that they want a man with money, then deny that thats shallow when i call them out on it. i had this bitch sayin shit like "i care about how i look" as an excuse! but if i like you, then thats a whole different situation..i dont mind spending money on little things for you because in truth, its common knowledge for men that ladies are leeches so its not like we dont expect it. i see alot of independent woman in here tho which really makes me happy.

I agree. unfortunately, there are a lot of women in today's society who are only after $ $ and how much they can get from a man/men. That's not right or fair. On the same instance, I don't think it's fair that men ask women for $ $ based on what they THINK is going on. It's not fair for either sex to manipulate the other with "feelings", emotions, sex, etc.. at all. If it's to be asked for or given, it should be w/ a clear repayment and intentions.

Posted by westside
i only see female opinions in here...let me add a mans perspective


im not stingy with my money at all, i dont really care, but its not really a turnoff, its fucking annoying how "woman" change when they see that you have money....they be all like "oo how do you get money"(dumb teenage hoes)and get pissed when i tell em not to worry about it. and then some girls will come right out and admit that they want a man with money, then deny that thats shallow when i call them out on it. i had this bitch sayin shit like "i care about how i look" as an excuse! but if i like you, then thats a whole different situation..i dont mind spending money on little things for you because in truth, its common knowledge for men that ladies are leeches so its not like we dont expect it. i see alot of independent woman in here tho which really makes me happy.

i like this. it's not like it's a man's job to look after a woman financially anymore; those days are long gone. unless you're married or something, and of course if you have kids together.

how can you even get excited over a guy having money? you didn't earn it, what the heck makes you think you're gonna cash in?!

^^^^^^^ AGREE!!! if you didn't earn it, how CAN you cash in if you haven't earned it— i could ask that about SO many things...

I'm not so sure I see men as victims anymore either.

Even though some men cringe at the thought of women being gold diggers, alot of men don't mind lending their money. But not b/c they actually care for the chick, but moreso b/c it makes him feel like a big shot OR it's their way of assuming that if they give out benefits (money), they'll get a woman's benefits in return.

And we all know most men aren't anywhere near tired of getting certain benefits smh smh

Asking a woman for money unless i can pay it back within the next 10 minutes is a no-no for me.

^^^^^^ Thank you. I am not going back on my word. I said NO and I mean NO! He needs to stand on his own two feet. It's like raising my kids- kind of. He's got to earn his own in order to appreciate what he has. He has a car now, but doesn't like it. Work hard get another one once you've saved up for it.

I told him the other day, if this means we no longer speak, then it was nice knowing you. I'm not changing my mind.

Saturday, he texts me. His soon-to-be son's mom house burnt down. God forgive me but I didn't believe him. Yes, I was concerned (she has other kids not with him and since she IS pregnant, I was genuine with the concern). But do you know I checked the local paper online to see if he was lying? He wasn't. He was telling the truth. He even sent me pics of the damage to her place and her neighbor's that was the unit that caught fire (her unit had damage and is deemed uninhabitable).

Part of me is like- what is he going to ask for now?? I'm not giving him any money. I will send baby stuff (if I have any left) that I have from my last daughter- non girly looking or unisex of course, but moolah. HELLLLLLLS No!!!

I feel like I can't even COUNT this guy as quality and even more so, I don't know if I even count him as a friend right now..

So sad about this. 😢 Even though I am/was interested in him, I'm not a doormat and I DO have self respect. I'm getting ready to cut him off completely. I've never really dealt with people who have gotten out of jail/prison before.. but I'm not sure if that's why he is the way he is or not. I WAS giving him the benefit of the doubt... maybe I shouldn't.

Loaning money period is sketchy. Even to friends/family members

It's even worse if someone wants you to give (not loan) them money. That's something I never do

Plus, it all depends on why someone needs the money. If they're in bad financial shape b/c of poor spending habits or self-induced financial problems, I wouldn't loan them anything! The way I see it, if they can't already pay off the debts they have with others (people & companies), what makes me think I'd be any different?

When people ask for money, it's ALWAYS an "emergency." Half of the time, people need $ $ b/c they spend all their income on dumb stuff instead of their financial debts. And even though it's none of my business what they spend their money on, I'd rather assume that if that person's bills weren't a priority, why would them paying me back be a priority?!