Baby daddies

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by SassyKiwi on Saturday, September 18, 2021 and has 27 replies.
I totally get people who don’t want to get married and have any kids period. What l don’t understand at all are guys who have children without any desire to commit to their baby’s mama. Like what is their angle?

Raising a child requires hundreds of thousands of dollars of expenses throughout their life at minimum. How does that make more sense than also committing to their baby’s mama who’s an adult and obviously are better equipped to take care of themselves and not be as financial leeches as children absolutely are? Plus just because they’re not married to their baby’s mama doesn’t mean the mamas can’t get child support juiced out of them. So it just financially seems like a losing game for the guys no matter which direction it goes? I just honestly don’t understand why guys are often okay with having children but act like marital commitment to their baby’s mama is the wildest/detestable idea ever?? Like you want to have kids and have the luxury of also being around with other women without feeling guilty cause you’re not married? Is that why they are not eager to commit to the baby’s mama? Because it’s a fact their baby’s mama will be in the picture for the child for a very long time so it’s not like they can truly cut them off… These type of people seem to be more of a norm this day and age and trying to understand their mentality on the matter is baffling.
IMO, kids are more of a commitment than marriage.

So i don’t get it either for men or women.

Kids are super permanent and costs more money.

Omg why do people make it sound like getting pregnant accidentally is so easy. It’s not. I literally know more married couples in their 20s and 30s who make enough money to have 10 kids but are still childless whilst most people popping out kids out of wedlock/serious commitments are usually not in the best of financial positions. If them being committed to each other would be so toxic then you'd think they'd pick someone better to bring a child with into the world with... It just seems like this kind of behavior is just part of their cycle of reckless yolo behaviors in life.
Posted by Hamsthetics

Because men doesn't have any say on abortion (which is totally correct)


Let me guess, they also don't have a say in where their jizz gets shot into 🙄
Posted by WarAngel
Posted by SassyKiwi

Omg why do people make it sound like getting pregnant accidentally is so easy. It’s not. I literally know more married couples in their 20s and 30s who make enough money to have 10 kids but are still childless whilst most people popping out kids out of wedlock/serious commitments are usually not in the best of financial positions. If them being committed to each other would be so toxic then you'd think they'd pick someone better to bring a child with into the world with... It just seems like this kind of behavior is just part of their cycle of reckless yolo behaviors in life.


Maybe for you it wasn't easy to conceive, but I dated women who got pregnant not even 3 months after we parted ways. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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We haven't started trying yet at all and take literally the basic precautions to avoid conception. It's obviously another story if someone claims to be on birth control and the guy believes it and doesn't do his own due diligence to protect themselves.
Posted by Hamsthetics
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by Hamsthetics

Because men doesn't have any say on abortion (which is totally correct)


Let me guess, they also don't have a say in where their jizz gets shot into 🙄

accident happens y'know.


click to expand


That's why there's an endless cycle of daddy issues in society. Dad went to the store to get milk/pack of cigarettes but never came back cause he decided to go knock up/be with another chick other than ya mama. I can't ever see how these situations don't always end up having negative consequences but it happens all too often and people still act like it is often accidental. If it keeps happening on a large, repetitive scale, it's not an accident.
Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.
I know lots of single mums whose partners did a moonlit flit when they found out the woman was pregnant. As the legendary Jeremy Kyle used to say “should have put something on the end of it”

Sex makes babies lol

Posted by DonnaLibra

Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.


I'm not blaming women because I believe most who put themselves in these positions don't mind having the babies without commitment from the baby daddies. If they did mind, they'd be way more responsible when opening their legs. Either that or your average guy and chick severely underestimate the process of how babies are made.
Posted by peachy06

My father was like that. They were both married though, but dude never paid for child support when they divorced. He never participated in anything that implied him "paying". He did the same with his 2 next wives.

But now he's dead, the system tax him for all the years he didn't pay lmao. Karma is a bitch.


Oh I very much encourage the system sucking out baby daddies who want to get away from their responsibilities that they had a major role in purposely creating. Like who's really using the excuse they didn't expect having sex can result in the possibility of creating a human life who can't financially support themselves 🙄
Posted by MyStarsShine

I know lots of single mums whose partners did a moonlit flit when they found out the woman was pregnant. As the legendary Jeremy Kyle used to say “should have put something on the end of it”

Sex makes babies lol


Exactly.... like oh you wanna do the crime without doing the time?
Posted by Hamsthetics

It's just not fair to expect all men to have the responsibility of Capricorn men.

These non-Capricorn men could be great fathers too if they really want the child and with the right woman.

Just my 2cents.


You see, I just want to understand the mentality of why they'd knowingly put themselves in such situations as it's so common in society. Is it just another form of self-sabotage like drugs, alcohol and gambling?
Posted by SassyKiwi

Raising a child requires hundreds of thousands of dollars of expenses throughout their life at minimum.
More.

Posted by DopeFly
Posted by SassyKiwi

Raising a child requires hundreds of thousands of dollars of expenses throughout their life at minimum.


More.
click to expand


Ya, hundreds of thousands of dollars means at least $ 200,000 or more. I calculated my own expenses from college up until I got married, ages 18-23, those years alone accumulated to $ 200,000 at the least for me, all paid by my parents without loans.
Posted by stardustmop

Some of this discussion feels a tiny bit tone deaf. There are people that can’t afford contraceptives and that’s not going to stop anyone from getting it on. We can’t just tell poor people to stop fucking.
Condoms are free from sexual health clinics and planned parenting centres.
Posted by stardustmop
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by stardustmop

Some of this discussion feels a tiny bit tone deaf. There are people that can’t afford contraceptives and that’s not going to stop anyone from getting it on. We can’t just tell poor people to stop fucking.

Condoms are free from sexual health clinics and planned parenting centres.


I know this. A lot of people don’t.
click to expand
I’m not sure why...they’ve been available for years....
Posted by stardustmop
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by stardustmop
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by stardustmop

Some of this discussion feels a tiny bit tone deaf. There are people that can’t afford contraceptives and that’s not going to stop anyone from getting it on. We can’t just tell poor people to stop fucking.

Condoms are free from sexual health clinics and planned parenting centres.


I know this. A lot of people don’t.


I’m not sure why...they’ve been available for years....


😬 do you know many people in poverty in America? They don’t know a lot of things.
click to expand


I don’t live there

It would be helpful to have some advertising campaigns...
Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL

fuccboi years till i die,
Don’t forget to put something on the end of it🤣
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra

Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.


I'm not blaming women because I believe most who put themselves in these positions don't mind having the babies without commitment from the baby daddies. If they did mind, they'd be way more responsible when opening their legs. Either that or your average guy and chick severely underestimate the process of how babies are made.
click to expand


I would say the same thing about men in this position. They don't mind having sex with no commitments.
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra

Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.


I'm not blaming women because I believe most who put themselves in these positions don't mind having the babies without commitment from the baby daddies. If they did mind, they'd be way more responsible when opening their legs. Either that or your average guy and chick severely underestimate the process of how babies are made.


I would say the same thing about men in this position. They don't mind having sex with no commitments.
click to expand
Then panic and leg it when a baby is on the way ....
Posted by stardustmop
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by stardustmop
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by stardustmop

Some of this discussion feels a tiny bit tone deaf. There are people that can’t afford contraceptives and that’s not going to stop anyone from getting it on. We can’t just tell poor people to stop fucking.

Condoms are free from sexual health clinics and planned parenting centres.


I know this. A lot of people don’t.


I’m not sure why...they’ve been available for years....


😬 do you know many people in poverty in America? They don’t know a lot of things.
click to expand


And having children that cost on average over 150k each to raise at the cheapest helps them get out of poverty? I don't buy them not knowing because do they not socially interact with their parents, relatives, and friends on the matter? If so, then clearly communities at large for generations are being kept in the dark... which I'm certain isn't the case.
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra

Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.


I'm not blaming women because I believe most who put themselves in these positions don't mind having the babies without commitment from the baby daddies. If they did mind, they'd be way more responsible when opening their legs. Either that or your average guy and chick severely underestimate the process of how babies are made.


I would say the same thing about men in this position. They don't mind having sex with no commitments.
click to expand


I'm sure both men and women love sex without commitments but impregnating someone does result in a commitment to the child forming in the eyes of the law.

"Single motherhood has grown so common in America that today 80 percent of single-parent families are headed by single mothers — nearly a third live in poverty.

Updated on 17 May 2021

Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, single motherhood is now becoming the new “norm”. This prevalence is due in part to the growing trend of children born outside marriage — a societal trend that was virtually unheard of decades ago.

About 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. 1 Nearly two-thirds were born to mothers under the age of 30. 2 Today 1 in 6 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 12.5 million — are being raised without a father."

https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

This issue also obviously contributes to so many children ending up in the foster care system. All because millions of men decided to "accidentally" jizz inside a woman instead of a tissue or condom and then made a run for it. There is obviously significantly more detachment for males than females when it comes to impregnation.
Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL

fuccboi years till i die,


I encourage you to live out your fuccboi years, just don't go around impregnating chicks and then running off to another country ok? If you ever "accidentally" impregnate a Russian hooker, I just ask you do the right thing for the baby. Capisce?
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra

Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.


I'm not blaming women because I believe most who put themselves in these positions don't mind having the babies without commitment from the baby daddies. If they did mind, they'd be way more responsible when opening their legs. Either that or your average guy and chick severely underestimate the process of how babies are made.


I would say the same thing about men in this position. They don't mind having sex with no commitments.


I'm sure both men and women love sex without commitments but impregnating someone does result in a commitment to the child forming in the eyes of the law.

"Single motherhood has grown so common in America that today 80 percent of single-parent families are headed by single mothers — nearly a third live in poverty.

Updated on 17 May 2021

Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, single motherhood is now becoming the new “norm”. This prevalence is due in part to the growing trend of children born outside marriage — a societal trend that was virtually unheard of decades ago.

About 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. 1 Nearly two-thirds were born to mothers under the age of 30. 2 Today 1 in 6 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 12.5 million — are being raised without a father."

https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

This issue also obviously contributes to so many children ending up in the foster care system. All because millions of men decided to "accidentally" jizz inside a woman instead of a tissue or condom and then made a run for it. There is obviously significantly more detachment for males than females when it comes to impregnation.
click to expand


See you're blaming it all on the men again when millions of women decided to not use birth control while having sex with a guy who doesn't want to commit to her more than sex. It goes both ways except women are usually the ones who want the baby.
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra
Posted by SassyKiwi
Posted by DonnaLibra

Why are men the only ones being blamed? Why don't women marry before having babies? This protects the baby as well as herself financially.


I'm not blaming women because I believe most who put themselves in these positions don't mind having the babies without commitment from the baby daddies. If they did mind, they'd be way more responsible when opening their legs. Either that or your average guy and chick severely underestimate the process of how babies are made.


I would say the same thing about men in this position. They don't mind having sex with no commitments.


I'm sure both men and women love sex without commitments but impregnating someone does result in a commitment to the child forming in the eyes of the law.

"Single motherhood has grown so common in America that today 80 percent of single-parent families are headed by single mothers — nearly a third live in poverty.

Updated on 17 May 2021

Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, single motherhood is now becoming the new “norm”. This prevalence is due in part to the growing trend of children born outside marriage — a societal trend that was virtually unheard of decades ago.

About 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. 1 Nearly two-thirds were born to mothers under the age of 30. 2 Today 1 in 6 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 12.5 million — are being raised without a father."

https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

This issue also obviously contributes to so many children ending up in the foster care system. All because millions of men decided to "accidentally" jizz inside a woman instead of a tissue or condom and then made a run for it. There is obviously significantly more detachment for males than females when it comes to impregnation.


See you're blaming it all on the men again when millions of women decided to not use birth control while having sex with a guy who doesn't want to commit to her more than sex. It goes both ways except women are usually the ones who want the baby.
click to expand


That’s why I said I don’t blame women because they usually don’t mind the situation and want the baby lol
I will never know if she truly loved me but I committed to her and helped raise her son before mine was born. But we were oil and water. And I cant lie it stings still 3 years later because the goal was marriage. At least for me. But it jist disnt happen. And it definitely has gotten me gun shy because I rather have a family than be a "baby daddy" becauae this shitnhas been the most exhausting experience of my life. So I can only speak from the "I tried" angle because I did and Intried hard af
Young men are stupid. Most in these situations only know sex=feel good. Then life comes into play and a baby happens. Baby isn't fun, and man is too young to want that type of comment, so young man leaves. Tbh I wish we were advanced enough to have some type of virtual reality machine that made young men live an entire lifetime that was identical to the single mother they impregnated then bolted. Maybe then he would understand a bit more. Men are forced to pay child support, but I agree women are left with quite a handful, and pretty difficult life from that point. I also feel for the young men too, especially in America. Our morals and schools are shit, so its no surprise you've got young dumb men with hard dicks running around.