Bad feeling about 'friend'
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by venusian1 on Thursday, February 21, 2008 and has 15 replies.
Hi everyone. I met someone who, in the beginning, I thought would turn out to be a close friend, and someone that I could trust. I started to open up to her about private things, and she did with me as well. She met my boyfriend a few weeks back, and I sensed immediately that she was attracted to him. Ever since she met him, she has been inviting us out, and always stipulates 'it would be nice if your boyfriend could come too'. I feel really uncomfortable with her now, and have a strong feeling that she's plotting something. She's doing things in a very conniving way, not direct at all. Everytime we meet now, she always manages to turn the conversation to my boyfriend, and in a sneaky way, asks how our relationship is going. I wish I hadn't let her so close so soon, and had kept a distance before I started opening up to her. What should I do? Should I become distant with her, and not accept her calls? Should I talk to my boyfriend about it and express my concerns? I'm so disappointed in seeing her true colours. I really thought she might be a good friend.
Atlantic Myst--thank you so much for your advice. I'm going to do just what you said, and start distancing myself. I can't believe how sneaky people can be. Since she met him, she started getting in touch with me even more, and has been acting like she really cares for me as a friend, when I know that she's trying as hard as she can to see him again. I know I make life hard for myself because I'm too open with people about my feelings. I'm really embarrased, because I told her some very personal things, but I thought that she was genuine at the time.
look at ur own actions before u overanalyze other people's motives. if the person doesnt have a history of backstabbing or doing anything remotely despicable, u shouldnt worry.. 
i think the tables are now turned because before, u think u could just control this "close friend" of urs with whatever info u have of this "close friend".. believing this "close friend" wouldnt dare to fight back.. u should know better that this "close friend" probably wouldnt stoop as low as u.. if they were willing though, they would go for the jugular and get it over with.. i hope u havent done anything despicable or low yet since ure assuming this "close friend" is conniving and trying to ruin u, are u? the internet, low and despicable people like u can play around with so much especially with people's lives because u automatically believe so arrogantly that the people u are hurting wouldnt be able to touch u since u got the computer monitor to protect u and all.. and also a bf who wouldnt dare to leave u hanging..
i think the tables are now turned because before, u think u could just control this "close friend" of urs with whatever info u have of this "close friend".. believing this "close friend" wouldnt dare to fight back.. u should know better that this "close friend" probably wouldnt stoop as low as u.. if they were willing though, they would go for the jugular and get it over with.. i hope u havent done anything despicable or low yet since ure assuming this "close friend" is conniving and trying to ruin u, are u? the internet, low and despicable people like u can play around with so much especially with people's lives because u automatically believe so arrogantly that the people u are hurting wouldnt be able to touch u since u got the computer monitor to protect u and all.. and also a bf who wouldnt dare to leave u hanging..i think ur "close friend" probably has better things to do and worry about than to steal ur man from u..theres more out there in the world for ur close friend to explore and better things that needs to be discovered..why worry over trivial things such as internet drama? unless that drama takes on a whole new level because of an irresponsible, reckless, mentally deranged person with evil intentions plan on taking it up a notch..
i honestly think people like u venusian1, needs to get a taste of their own medicine.. however, i dont think ANYONE with moral human behavior and integrity, would do what u did..
how could anyone did what u did without any conscience or guilt? and then turn around and make urself to be the victim? i thought only in movies do i see those mentally deranged psychotic lunatic characters...and its only those mentally deranged ones who would be highly influenced by the movies they watch and then plan to act on it..sick and cruel world we live in because of people like u venusian1..
im looking at u from the inside venusian1..not ur outside appearance..and i see a horrible soul..a very vile soul...ur the type that will end up learning the hard way...
I agree with Atlantic Myst.. better to error on the side of caution, venusian1. Distance, then get rid of her for good. Usually a woman's instincts are right on these things. Maybe best to only be that open with your boyfriend, instead.. *Good luck..s*
im out of here..getting on with my life..nothing better happen between u and ur "close friend" right venusian1?
actually no, i dont know this venusian1 person personally. ive seen similar situations far too often where the gf jumps to conclusion and assumes her friend or some girl is trying to steal her man. where in reality, its usually the gf who would secretly steal or break up a relationship with other people...far too many lives have been ruined because of people thinking with their heart not head..
kongkear--my God, what is wrong with you?!!! Reading your posts, it sounds as though you're responding to a completely different thread! I couldn't believe it when I read your response, and I just had to laugh you off. You sound as though you have a sub-zero intellect, and that is being generous. Also, I get the feeling that you're about 12 to be honest. You have completely exaggerated the situation kongkear, and your response is completely unwarranted. There is nothing in venusian1's post that is at all threatening or sinister, unlike the response you provided, which gives the impression of an individual right on the edge and devoid of any sense of reason or rationale. Venusian1, I hope you have ignored this idiocy, and hats off to those of you who have defended venusian1.
nice try at trying to sound intelligent viva aka venusian1...did u get some of those phrases from movies u picked up watching? i have now seen the full extent of your mental state..its a shame really..its a shame that people like u are allowed to roam out there in the world especially the cyber world because thats the funnest and safest way for people like u to act despicably without shame,fear or guilt...
Whoa, kongkear keeps veering closer and closer to the edge. Your responses to venusian1's topic are absolutely ridiculous kongkear, and it's quite funny to watch you dig yourself a bigger hole every time you open your mouth. What a sad little character you are. This person comes to the forum with genuine need of advice, and what they get instead is a poisonous response from someone on the attack. You seem like the sort of individual who would launch at someone because they paid you a compliment! It's absolutely hilarious that you keep mentioning people hiding behind the internet. The people you're attacking have reasonable concerns and arguments, whilst you just storm in like someone who doesn't have any conception of TACT. Viva, looks like you got kongkear's back up because he/she/it doesn't understand what you were saying! Hey, why don't you visit babelfish before you carry out any further attacks kongkear, that way you can translate people's posts before you even attempt a response!
I would have to agree with unusualcancer .. your other thread does suggest that there is a serious 'trust' issue that started long before this new close friend and your current boyfriend.
Perhaps, kk, has skipped her daily dose of meds .. however, her point isn't far from the mark. There is absolutely no reason to not trust your boyfriend, and this is something that appears to be overlooked here within this scenerio.
Here you have a boyfriend, and absolutely no mention of his integrity. Perhaps he is really into you, and couldn't care a less about this other girl .. yet, all focus is on her and what she would do ..
.. as if to suggest that if anything did happen between the two, sole responsibility would lay on her ..
To tell you the truth .. if I were in your situation, and my husband found out that I was mistrusting his personal integrity by not giving him the benefit of the doubt to be honorable, and holding all accountability to another person on whether he would betray me or not .. would insult him to the max.
So, just by your focus ALONE on just the woman, without any mention on his honor to make his own decision on whether he would forsake you or not ... makes kk's assertions pretty valid, even if they came out fucked up.
Perhaps, kk, has skipped her daily dose of meds .. however, her point isn't far from the mark. There is absolutely no reason to not trust your boyfriend, and this is something that appears to be overlooked here within this scenerio.
Here you have a boyfriend, and absolutely no mention of his integrity. Perhaps he is really into you, and couldn't care a less about this other girl .. yet, all focus is on her and what she would do ..
.. as if to suggest that if anything did happen between the two, sole responsibility would lay on her ..
To tell you the truth .. if I were in your situation, and my husband found out that I was mistrusting his personal integrity by not giving him the benefit of the doubt to be honorable, and holding all accountability to another person on whether he would betray me or not .. would insult him to the max.
So, just by your focus ALONE on just the woman, without any mention on his honor to make his own decision on whether he would forsake you or not ... makes kk's assertions pretty valid, even if they came out fucked up.
Heads-up .. a boyfriend can't be stolen .. he can however, make a decision to cheat on his woman.
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