Being Second Choice

Posted by Libraandgenerous

You are a second choice when usually the guy disappears for a while then comes back and start love bombing you. Sometimes he's just looking for someone to mend his ego after being rejected.

Posted by ImperfectStormI had the luck of not being aware that someone really wanted someone else. And they even think about it when they’re with you.

I feel like intuitively I can sense if I’m not the first choice, especially if the person seems emotionally distant or distracted. And that last part is part of the reason I know I wouldn’t even want to be with someone if they’d rather be somewhere else.

Posted by Nightcap-

A few years back, I met this girl at a Tom Morello show. I started to notice her and she started to show up at places I was at. She looked like a young Keri Russell. I started hanging out with her but something I couldn't put my finger on was holding me back.



One night, I went out to a concert and she was there with a guy that was visiting. She gave me a big hug and said the guy was just a friend. Basically, i figured out she was hedging her bets with this rich guy who lived in another state in case I didn't work out. She liked me better and wanted it to work out with me but that completely turned me off. I don't date more than one person and don't even date someone unless I already like them so maybe I'm just an old fashioned dinosaur 🦖 that believes in long gone values 🤔

Posted by Astrobyn

Posted by Nightcap-

A few years back, I met this girl at a Tom Morello show. I started to notice her and she started to show up at places I was at. She looked like a young Keri Russell. I started hanging out with her but something I couldn't put my finger on was holding me back.



One night, I went out to a concert and she was there with a guy that was visiting. She gave me a big hug and said the guy was just a friend. Basically, i figured out she was hedging her bets with this rich guy who lived in another state in case I didn't work out. She liked me better and wanted it to work out with me but that completely turned me off. I don't date more than one person and don't even date someone unless I already like them so maybe I'm just an old fashioned dinosaur 🦖 that believes in long gone values 🤔

I wish I was Tom Morello first choice.

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Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Nightcap-

A few years back, I met this girl at a Tom Morello show. I started to notice her and she started to show up at places I was at. She looked like a young Keri Russell. I started hanging out with her but something I couldn't put my finger on was holding me back.



One night, I went out to a concert and she was there with a guy that was visiting. She gave me a big hug and said the guy was just a friend. Basically, i figured out she was hedging her bets with this rich guy who lived in another state in case I didn't work out. She liked me better and wanted it to work out with me but that completely turned me off. I don't date more than one person and don't even date someone unless I already like them so maybe I'm just an old fashioned dinosaur 🦖 that believes in long gone values 🤔

Was he a Taurus? Bulls on parade.

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Posted by Nightcap-

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Nightcap-

A few years back, I met this girl at a Tom Morello show. I started to notice her and she started to show up at places I was at. She looked like a young Keri Russell. I started hanging out with her but something I couldn't put my finger on was holding me back.



One night, I went out to a concert and she was there with a guy that was visiting. She gave me a big hug and said the guy was just a friend. Basically, i figured out she was hedging her bets with this rich guy who lived in another state in case I didn't work out. She liked me better and wanted it to work out with me but that completely turned me off. I don't date more than one person and don't even date someone unless I already like them so maybe I'm just an old fashioned dinosaur 🦖 that believes in long gone values 🤔

Was he a Taurus? Bulls on parade.

Morello's b-day according to bio is May 30th so a Gem I believe.

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Posted by Astrobyn

Posted by Nightcap-

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Nightcap-

A few years back, I met this girl at a Tom Morello show. I started to notice her and she started to show up at places I was at. She looked like a young Keri Russell. I started hanging out with her but something I couldn't put my finger on was holding me back.



One night, I went out to a concert and she was there with a guy that was visiting. She gave me a big hug and said the guy was just a friend. Basically, i figured out she was hedging her bets with this rich guy who lived in another state in case I didn't work out. She liked me better and wanted it to work out with me but that completely turned me off. I don't date more than one person and don't even date someone unless I already like them so maybe I'm just an old fashioned dinosaur 🦖 that believes in long gone values 🤔

Was he a Taurus? Bulls on parade.

Morello's b-day according to bio is May 30th so a Gem I believe.

Why do you always got to ruin my day?

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Posted by Undine

Russell Crowe (John Nash) explained it better:

Posted by alexscaries

Used to bother me now I don't care. If I'm somebody's fourth choice, never mind second who cares? I will outdo their first choice by being reliable and honest.


Who was somebody's original first choice, a childhood crush? It doesn't work if they aren't interested. Who was somebody's second choice? Somebody distant from another background who never gets to know you? I know mine were.


The chances of two people meeting are rare, the chances of forming a bond friendship or romantic are even rarer. How many people do we meet everyday, possibly 100s if we are shopping. Instead of concentrating on could have beens, we need to focus on what we have.

Posted by LadyNeptune

I’ve been in the situation where I was casually dating someone and they were expressive about wanting to get serious. This was in the first few weeks and I am more of a slow burn and wanted to take things slow.

Then he pulled back and I sensed something had changed. When I called him on it he came clean and admitted he was in contact with his ex and wanted to essentially date both of us until he could make up his mind.

That killed my boner and I ended things cordially, wishing him well. It wasn’t so much that his ex had circled back but more the fact he was uncertain about what he wanted after trying to pressure me into a relationship just a week prior. Dude did not know what he wanted.

Plus my ego can’t compete with y’all’s relationship history. I will bow out every time.

Posted by saggurl88

I subconsciously treat everyone as a second choice and have been told that.

I'm sure I've been someone's second choice plenty of times. I practically have to be hit over the head to think that I'm their first choice. I get turned off by too much attention in the beginning of a relationship.


I'm just a psycho that likes unavailable men. It gives me the freedom to do what I want because I'M my first choice always.

Posted by LadyNeptune

I think if I was the second choice on that reality show it wouldn’t bother me as much as knowing everyone else knows I’m 2nd choice. Immortalized on the inter webs for all of time 😬


Imagine your parents and friends watching that footage back and then stink eyeing your hubbie for all of time. Family holidays level up on the awkward scale that’s for sure!

Posted by DMV

Posted by LadyNeptune

I think if I was the second choice on that reality show it wouldn’t bother me as much as knowing everyone else knows I’m 2nd choice. Immortalized on the inter webs for all of time 😬


Imagine your parents and friends watching that footage back and then stink eyeing your hubbie for all of time. Family holidays level up on the awkward scale that’s for sure!

Exactly.


It’s totally different when it’s on full display.


I would die of all the think pieces


It’s one thing for DXP to tell me what to do with my life.


It’s a whole other thing for the masses

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Posted by Prince_Pisces

Can't relate 💅

Posted by DMV

Posted by saggurl88

I subconsciously treat everyone as a second choice and have been told that.

I'm sure I've been someone's second choice plenty of times. I practically have to be hit over the head to think that I'm their first choice. I get turned off by too much attention in the beginning of a relationship.


I'm just a psycho that likes unavailable men. It gives me the freedom to do what I want because I'M my first choice always.

One day you will know that you deserve better than the company of unavailable men

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Posted by virgoOPPP

my 1st choice is always bottom of the barrel anyway


it's my 2nd choice that's always the more decent

Posted by DMV

Posted by virgoOPPP

my 1st choice is always bottom of the barrel anyway


it's my 2nd choice that's always the more decent

If the first choice lust/superficial?

Second choice is more grounded and has depth?

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Posted by Undine

I would reply with my memories from a different dating show, called “take me out”.


A male candidate has to pick one woman out of 30, and take her to the “Isle of Fernandos”. Women can opt out during the selection process by switching off their light. He also has to reject those interested in him, by switching off their light, leaving only one winner.


At the beginning, he has to write down the name of his “first choice”. This name will be read out loud after he chooses his woman. It turns out the “first choice” is almost never relevant. Either she is not interested in him (switches off her light). Or he changes his mind and switches off hers. Or he really ends up choosing her, but then they clash on the island and part ways.


There was one couple who met on this show and got married. He actually rejected her on the show, by turning off her light, and went on the island with a different woman, who was not even his “first choice”. This couple were interviewed about the show after they married, and the fact that she was not his “first” or even “second” choice on national TV was irrelevant to them. Even laughable…how could one make up his mind so quickly, without getting to properly know the other person in private?

Posted by Gobbie

LMAO!


None of you will ever be 'first choice'! That went out of the window after one's first infatuation, love, sexual partner, etc.


Apart from someone playing you against someone else, everything else is moot.


But, hey, continue drinking the Kool-Aid, while neglecting to rein in your egos.

Posted by _fyrephish

No one really wants to know, but I'm sure I have been someone's second choice and someone has definitely been mine.

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

LMAO!


None of you will ever be 'first choice'! That went out of the window after one's first infatuation, love, sexual partner, etc.


Apart from someone playing you against someone else, everything else is moot.


But, hey, continue drinking the Kool-Aid, while neglecting to rein in your egos.

First choice relatively speaking. You weren't my first choice in 2007 because I never knew you existed. That doesn't mean you're not My Cherie Amour in 2022

As I said before, unless there's another potential candidate in the picture at the same time, it's not worth fretting about.


Ultimately, it all comes down to with whom your intentions/emotions really lie. IMHO, it's not even about being first or second choice, but more about the other person being honest with themselves and others.

You could’ve said that instead of coming off as a sanctimonious cunt


If the feelings are mutual you could be 4th or 5th choice, it won’t matter in the end when you’re making it work

I did say that in my previous post but you obviously needed to be spoon-fed.


Sanctimonious bleep?! What, for pointing out that the premise of this thread topic is based on IRRATIONALITY and PRIDE?


More the fool you...

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Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

LMAO!


None of you will ever be 'first choice'! That went out of the window after one's first infatuation, love, sexual partner, etc.


Apart from someone playing you against someone else, everything else is moot.


But, hey, continue drinking the Kool-Aid, while neglecting to rein in your egos.

First choice relatively speaking. You weren't my first choice in 2007 because I never knew you existed. That doesn't mean you're not My Cherie Amour in 2022

As I said before, unless there's another potential candidate in the picture at the same time, it's not worth fretting about.


Ultimately, it all comes down to with whom your intentions/emotions really lie. IMHO, it's not even about being first or second choice, but more about the other person being honest with themselves and others.

You could’ve said that instead of coming off as a sanctimonious cunt


If the feelings are mutual you could be 4th or 5th choice, it won’t matter in the end when you’re making it work

I did say that in my previous post but you obviously needed to be spoon-fed.


Sanctimonious bleep?! What, for pointing out that the premise of this thread topic is based on IRRATIONALITY and PRIDE?


More the fool you...

Humans are irrational and full of pride what else do you expect? Especially when involving matters of the heart. Many of us want to feel special, to be number one for their loved one.


As I said, sanctimonious. As if you’re above it all. You like to push buttons, I get it. Your second post was reasonable

Nope, it's possible to CONTROL one's irrationality. That comes with experience, self-control and maturity.


Obviously, you always want have someone or something to blame, instead of taking accountability for your own feelings and emotions.


And, no, I don't push buttons - I simply tell home truths, which you and others here don't appreciate reading. But, of course, instead of admitting that you were triggered, you'd rather resort to deflecting. Why to go! 👍

I read your posts like flamboyant satire. Pure comedy. But you do present yourself as superior. I don’t need your advice, save that for the women you like to follow around on here.

You obviously wish to remain in ignorance and for this community to be an echo chamber. That's fine but I don't post exclusively for you.


There are those wiser and far more mature than you who understand where I'm coming from.


And, no, I don't come across as superior - I'm merely a person with strong convictions and opinions. But this isn't even about my 'delivery' - it's just a lame smokescreen, stemming from your own insecurities and how my words remind you of them. But that's your problem, not mine.

I’m well aware of what this place is like. I’ve been here long enough. That said, it doesn’t justify you harassing users who don’t respond to you, because you’re on a crusade to cleanse DXP of perceived ignorance. Once again, sanctimonious pussy


Keep trying to convince yourself I’m hurt by anything you say or that I’m “projecting”. This is entertainment for me because you’re a joke.

Harass?! This is a public forum where people publicly voice their opinions.


Whoever doesn't reply doesn't bother me, because every comment or thread started is a new platform for people to voice their opinions. No comment or thread is private property for the person who started it. And anyone who doesn't like it is welcome to open their own private chatroom elsewhere.

Personally, I like to think you already know this and are simply being petty by deflecting, because you know I'm speaking the truth (and, once again, you greatly dislike it).

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Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

Posted by roti

Posted by Gobbie

LMAO!


None of you will ever be 'first choice'! That went out of the window after one's first infatuation, love, sexual partner, etc.


Apart from someone playing you against someone else, everything else is moot.


But, hey, continue drinking the Kool-Aid, while neglecting to rein in your egos.

First choice relatively speaking. You weren't my first choice in 2007 because I never knew you existed. That doesn't mean you're not My Cherie Amour in 2022

As I said before, unless there's another potential candidate in the picture at the same time, it's not worth fretting about.


Ultimately, it all comes down to with whom your intentions/emotions really lie. IMHO, it's not even about being first or second choice, but more about the other person being honest with themselves and others.

You could’ve said that instead of coming off as a sanctimonious cunt


If the feelings are mutual you could be 4th or 5th choice, it won’t matter in the end when you’re making it work

I did say that in my previous post but you obviously needed to be spoon-fed.


Sanctimonious bleep?! What, for pointing out that the premise of this thread topic is based on IRRATIONALITY and PRIDE?


More the fool you...

Humans are irrational and full of pride what else do you expect? Especially when involving matters of the heart. Many of us want to feel special, to be number one for their loved one.


As I said, sanctimonious. As if you’re above it all. You like to push buttons, I get it. Your second post was reasonable

Nope, it's possible to CONTROL one's irrationality. That comes with experience, self-control and maturity.


Obviously, you always want have someone or something to blame, instead of taking accountability for your own feelings and emotions.


And, no, I don't push buttons - I simply tell home truths, which you and others here don't appreciate reading. But, of course, instead of admitting that you were triggered, you'd rather resort to deflecting. Why to go! 👍

I read your posts like flamboyant satire. Pure comedy. But you do present yourself as superior. I don’t need your advice, save that for the women you like to follow around on here.

You obviously wish to remain in ignorance and for this community to be an echo chamber. That's fine but I don't post exclusively for you.


There are those wiser and far more mature than you who understand where I'm coming from.


And, no, I don't come across as superior - I'm merely a person with strong convictions and opinions. But this isn't even about my 'delivery' - it's just a lame smokescreen, stemming from your own insecurities and how my words remind you of them. But that's your problem, not mine.

I’m well aware of what this place is like. I’ve been here long enough. That said, it doesn’t justify you harassing users who don’t respond to you, because you’re on a crusade to cleanse DXP of perceived ignorance. Once again, sanctimonious pussy


Keep trying to convince yourself I’m hurt by anything you say or that I’m “projecting”. This is entertainment for me because you’re a joke.

Harass?! This is a public forum where people publicly voice their opinions.


Whoever doesn't reply doesn't bother me, because every comment or thread started is a new platform for people to voice their opinions. No comment or thread is private property for the person who started it. And anyone who doesn't like it is welcome to open their own private chatroom elsewhere.

Personally, I like to think you already know this and are simply being petty by deflecting, because you know I'm speaking the truth (and, once again, you greatly dislike it).

I’ve been here as long as you and never felt compelled to say a cross word to you in all that time. But I say you come off as a cunt once and you’re writing multiple paragraphs in return, truth hurts I guess.


Where does say it in the guidelines you’re allowed to behave like a passive aggressive bitch, swiping at users incessantly, who have no intention of interacting with you.

Typical Aries moon - when butthurt or wounded, lash out by using anything and everything, even if those things have NOTHING to do with the discussion. I know your moon better than you think (and probably even more than you).


Remember, YOU started this 'discussion' by directing foul language at me. I'm merely standing up to you and putting you in your place.


Going by your conduct in this thread, it's very clear why Taurus is the most common sign for political dictators.


Ciao!

When in doubt, retreat to cat lady astrology.


For the record I never called you a cunt. I said you COME OFF as one. Big difference. Keep crying though

See, further proof that your reading comprehension is questionable at best.


Whether you called me a ****** or said I come off as one makes no difference, because (either way) it was language directed at me. Seriously, you need to stop digging a deeper hole for yourself.


Btw, if I'm a joke then, in the grand scheme of things, you're nothing but a pathetic tragedy...

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Posted by DMV

This relates to Love is Blind show…


A man proposed to a woman.

Woman say no

Man proses to another woman

Woman says yes


It was messy and uncomfortable to watch.


However, I’m sure there have been countless times where I was not someone’s first choice for something. I just had the advantage not knowing it.


I had the luck of not being aware that someone really wanted someone else. And they even think about it when they’re with you.


Have you ever known yourself to be the second choice?