Cap female/Aqua male... feedback anyone?

He's not that into you

Not saying he doesn't like you at all but I don't think he likes you ENOUGH to commit to you

1 thing about guys is that if they truly care for you AND want to be with you, they'll step up to the plate, if anything just to make sure another guy doesn't swing in & swoop you up

The fact that this guy is willing to take that risk every single time, speaks volumes

Even if he had some feelings towards you yet refuses to tell you after all this time, at the very least this guy has communication, commitment, & reliability issues. Why you'd ruin a good relationship for a guy who conveniently & magically "forgets" about you for months at a time, is beyond me & makes no sense!

For him, it's probably just about the sex. He knows though that in order to keep getting it from you, he has to say/do things that wheel you in so that getting you to have sex with him when he wants it, isn't such a hard task to pull off.

He's using you as a void-filler. When he's on empty, he swoops in, gets his temporary needs met by you, then leaves into the night the minute the hole had been filled. And the cycle will continue on & on & on until you put a stop to it

A man can have great sex with you & have a good chemistry with you & still not want to commit to you.

I'm not telling you to dismiss the fact that when you're together, things are great. Just saying, you can't necessarily "not mention" how this guy disappears for longer time periods than he is actually around! THAT my dear tells me that he is not serious about you

I def. wouldn't advise you missing out on any more new guys or putting your life on hold for this guy.

If he wanted things to be more serious AND consistent b/w you two, he would've put in the work to make that happen. But he won't

You're basically a long-term F buddy. Your time together & amazing sex was enough to make you somewhat fall for him, but all that you guys have done together probably wasn't enough to make him fall for you.

I feel like I'm being a negative Nancy! Ugh but I'd rather tell it like it is than make excuses for him & lie to you by telling you that although this guy forgets about you for 9 months at a time, he's really into you. I'd be dead wrong to even hint that this guy is serious about you b/c his actions answer those questions for you.

You already have the answers to your questions. You're just choosing to ignore them & not listen

@Krys: I was going to say something about her dumping the bf fir this dude and I'm willing to be the bf was a good guy. It always amazes me how men and women go fir fast and quick instead of steady and reliable. But ten again the guy may only be a reflection of her own issues.

@OP: he does have repressed feelings/emotions and if anything it should give you pause but you overlook it because he's "fine" and the sex is good. How do you expect to get a deep loving relationship while clinging to the superficial? I'm not trying to dine you, just bring honest. The experiences with him are lessons and until you change you'll keep repeating them.

Yes, many thanks for your input! I feel better about things now. I sensed he couldn't be that interested but dragging it on this long made me wonder. PHEW.

Posted by watermelonpie
Yes, many thanks for your input! I feel better about things now. I sensed he couldn't be that interested but dragging it on this long made me wonder. PHEW.

I get it.

Women have a tendency to think that b/c he's still around, he must like us, right?

WRONG. If you're giving up some good benefits, don't expect for the average person to give that up.

And if you think the sex is great, he probably does too

The kicker though is that that's probably the ONLY thing he's willing to give you

What you should be paying the most attention to is in what he's NOT doing/bringing to the table!

This guy may be attractive, funny, witty & good in bed, BUT

*He's not giving you his undivided attention
*He's not consistent
*His actions don't match up with his words
*He hasn't professed any real feelings for you that can be backed up & confirmed by consistency in his actions
*He doesn't mind using you for sex nor does he mind the fact that you're always so confused & feeling lead on. Who cares about your needs, as long as he gets HIS needs met

This is where we girls mess up! We assume that the ONLY reason a guy stays around is b/c he must be madly in love with us. BULL. If someone kept giving you a million dollars w/o you having to do much to earn it, I'm sure you'd keep "taking," it too

And yes your body, your heart & your time is like a million dollars b/c it's all that you have!!

Move on. When a guy is willing to miss out on an opportunity to snatch you up before other guys do, that's a clear indication that he's NOT that into you

And if he's not that into you, how do you justify giving up better guys for him? How do you justify giving this guy ANY of yourself at all? (Your body, your conversation, your feelings, your time, your energy, etc.)

This guy is living RENT-FREE in your head! It's no wonder he keeps coming back!

You should want a guy to keep coming back b/c he truly loves you, & not only b/c your couch is probably good! Clearly you don't just wanna be a F buddy to him, so if you desire something real & long-term, it's YOUR responsibility & up to YOU to teach people how to treat you & move on to someone better suited for you & what you really want

If you're gonna stay around & act like a doormat, don't be so surprised when he treats you like a
----> Doormat

It's like we wait on a guy to verbally & literally tell us "I'm NOT that into you" which is silly if his actions (or lack thereof) are already telling you so!

This guy knows that you feel confused, lead on & somewhat hurt every time he disappears & yet he abandons you every single time he gets his "fix."

He knows exactly what he's doing & even if you've never said it, common sense tells a man that women don't like the kinda stuff he's doing. But b/c he doesn't care for you that much, he allows himself to keep doing this

It will only stop once YOU put a stop to it. If you don't put a stop to it, EXPECT to keep being his "part time" or "Play time" whenever he's bored, horny or annoyed with the other tons of girls he's probably dating & doing the same things to