Character vs. Appearance...........
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by CapyWife on Tuesday, October 2, 2007 and has 10 replies.
What's more important to you in a man, His appearance or the way he treats you? If a man was really a wonderful guy like the best guy you'd ever met; openned doors for you, cared about your feelings, was willing to talk about problems, was loving kind and respectful, loved your family, and even prayed over you and your relationship, would it matter what he looked like? Would his physical appearance turn you off from him or do you think his attitude would ultimatly override his looks? Not saying you would settle for someone who treated you bad but looked good, not many would do that... but just as far as good men are concerned, what do you think?
Good question CW!
In my younger days I was about appearance - that is what attracted me first to a man. For me though it was his body and yes, he did have to be "nice" as well. At that time in my life I truly did not have the experience to know what true "love" was at least not like I do now.
I read once that when we are young we are attracted to the physical because we are in procreation mode and subconsciously we know what type we need to get the job done - to create our offspring. So....many times we get involved thinking it is "love" only later to grow wise and recognize that there "must be something more to this?" and yes, there usually is. This is what is soooooo cool about getting older - we also become wiser due to the many experiences that we have had. We know what it takes to have a good quality relationship with a man. Where I am in my life now - it is about a Man's heart that ignites my passion. Actually, this is what is true for me in ALL of my relationships.
The heart is real.
Personally, I think this is one of those questions where one will need to experience on their own to find their answer.
In my younger days I was about appearance - that is what attracted me first to a man. For me though it was his body and yes, he did have to be "nice" as well. At that time in my life I truly did not have the experience to know what true "love" was at least not like I do now.
I read once that when we are young we are attracted to the physical because we are in procreation mode and subconsciously we know what type we need to get the job done - to create our offspring. So....many times we get involved thinking it is "love" only later to grow wise and recognize that there "must be something more to this?" and yes, there usually is. This is what is soooooo cool about getting older - we also become wiser due to the many experiences that we have had. We know what it takes to have a good quality relationship with a man. Where I am in my life now - it is about a Man's heart that ignites my passion. Actually, this is what is true for me in ALL of my relationships.
The heart is real.
Personally, I think this is one of those questions where one will need to experience on their own to find their answer.
"So....many times we get involved thinking it is "love" only later to grow wise and recognize that there "must be something more to this?"
Freebird...... This sentence is so touching. When I read it, I had to sit and think about it for a while.
I agree with you 100% . When love is superfisal there eventually begins to become a void. Seems like so many things are missing. But to love someone who is good to you, I mean really good to you, inspite of his looks, does that mean you've finally realized what love is? Is love always about the attraction plus the character? If I was blind and couldn't see I'd probably be happier in relationships because I could only judge by a persons character. I'd fall in love with someones heart and probably be one of the happiest women in the world. If only we could just look at the heart. The eyes are so decieving.
Still I hate to admite it but I'd find it hard to love someone if I wasn't attracted to them. I hate myself for saying that. I sure wish it were different.There are so many wonderful men out there waiting for a lovely lady to adore, but they never get a chance. I think about my past...and I've met some awesome men... really loving and caring men, and brushed them off because they weren't handsome enough.
I guess you're right this is a hard question.
We always say we want Prince Charming.............
Freebird...... This sentence is so touching. When I read it, I had to sit and think about it for a while.
I agree with you 100% . When love is superfisal there eventually begins to become a void. Seems like so many things are missing. But to love someone who is good to you, I mean really good to you, inspite of his looks, does that mean you've finally realized what love is? Is love always about the attraction plus the character? If I was blind and couldn't see I'd probably be happier in relationships because I could only judge by a persons character. I'd fall in love with someones heart and probably be one of the happiest women in the world. If only we could just look at the heart. The eyes are so decieving.
Still I hate to admite it but I'd find it hard to love someone if I wasn't attracted to them. I hate myself for saying that. I sure wish it were different.There are so many wonderful men out there waiting for a lovely lady to adore, but they never get a chance. I think about my past...and I've met some awesome men... really loving and caring men, and brushed them off because they weren't handsome enough.
I guess you're right this is a hard question.
We always say we want Prince Charming.............
I fall in love with someone's soul, regardless of what is on the outside .. they could a Jimmy Honker with purple poka dots .. if thier true to thier hearts .. I'm captured.
"I'd fall in love with someones heart and probably be one of the happiest women in the world. If only we could just look at the heart. The eyes are so decieving."
CW - right now, this time in your life - this is where you are. No biggie, it is supposed to be this way. In time, you WILL fall in love with someone's heart. However, you must be happy first with yourself and your life - do not wait to be happy when you fall in love with someone's heart - Fall in Love with yours first
...........then, the really good stuff begins to happen
hehehe
CW - right now, this time in your life - this is where you are. No biggie, it is supposed to be this way. In time, you WILL fall in love with someone's heart. However, you must be happy first with yourself and your life - do not wait to be happy when you fall in love with someone's heart - Fall in Love with yours first
...........then, the really good stuff begins to happen
heheheBut how many times do we even let the Jimmy Honker's with Purple Poka dots through the door?
My views are beginning to change about appearance meaning anything... I think the heart is the key to true happiness and love. There's nothing like being treated good.
My views are beginning to change about appearance meaning anything... I think the heart is the key to true happiness and love. There's nothing like being treated good.
The internal..totally!!
Ugh, I HATE weak-minded & shallow females that only date hot muscular guys w/ strong bone structure, good money, cars, & gym memberships w/o taking a chance out to view personality. But it's funny how some of these women turn-around & get mis-treated by guys such as those. Hmm.
This reminds me of a crush I had in HS. I had a crush on a scrawny little cutie who's face was more greasier than a 12-piece from KFC, but he was SO cute to me. Many girls thought he was repulsive. But his little buck teeth made him look like a bunny. Awww..
Ugh, I HATE weak-minded & shallow females that only date hot muscular guys w/ strong bone structure, good money, cars, & gym memberships w/o taking a chance out to view personality. But it's funny how some of these women turn-around & get mis-treated by guys such as those. Hmm.
This reminds me of a crush I had in HS. I had a crush on a scrawny little cutie who's face was more greasier than a 12-piece from KFC, but he was SO cute to me. Many girls thought he was repulsive. But his little buck teeth made him look like a bunny. Awww..
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be physically attracted to someone. No one should ever have to apologize for that. And, it is definitely possible to have both.
Amen!!
No no one in mind. Just wondering....
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