lucyL
@lucyL
12 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 510 · Topics: 32
dating a man younger then me
Posted by lucyL
I have to open up this cause I can't escape some of my thoughts. Please, share experience (positive one the most 😉)
Even though my rational thinking is telling me there is absolutely no need to worrie just to relax and enjoy, can't escape these short episodes of worring.
People here are very skeptical when a women is older then a guy.
Narrow-minded thinking.
I have to ignore it.
Ty 😉
The age gap between me and mine is bigger and he is younger, but who gives a shit?? Not me and not him.
YOU are making it an issue by allowing these thoughts into your head. As you have said...relax and enjoy
7 years isn't really much of an age gap... just go with it and forget about the age.
I have a Leo friend who is very happily married to an Aqua man, 10 years this april. They have a 16 year age gap, she is 50 this year and he will be 34, he's younger than her baby sister and almost the same age as her daughter.
I have a Leo friend who is very happily married to an Aqua man, 10 years this april. They have a 16 year age gap, she is 50 this year and he will be 34, he's younger than her baby sister and almost the same age as her daughter.
Posted by AriesGirl74Posted by lucyL
I have to open up this cause I can't escape some of my thoughts. Please, share experience (positive one the most 😉)
Even though my rational thinking is telling me there is absolutely no need to worrie just to relax and enjoy, can't escape these short episodes of worring.
People here are very skeptical when a women is older then a guy.
Narrow-minded thinking.
I have to ignore it.
Ty 😉
The age gap between me and mine is bigger and he is younger, but who gives a shit?? Not me and not him.
YOU are making it an issue by allowing these thoughts into your head. As you have said...relax and enjoyclick to expand
I agree on that. Definitely! If I make it as a problem then it will be a problem. Guess I just have to get used to it a bit cause as I said I dated mostly older man. This is new experience for me and I simply have to get comfortable and eliminate any silly thoughts that comes to my mind.
I spoke to him about it before and basically he didn't gave me any reason to worry. He said he was always having hard time getting along with women his age, not to mention younger. He admitted, when we started dating he had some thoughts about it, mostly cause it is new situation for him also, but now he is relaxed about it 100% I trust his sincerity cause he always speaks his mind honestly and only if he is completely sure of his feelings.
Posted by soultalk
I don't think it is that big of a deal while you are both young. if it were me, I wud think of abt 15-20 yrs down the line, he would still be or feel like he is, in his prime age. dammit men. will I be able to feel secure and will he still feel the same way years later? hmm that would nag me, unless he was very demonstrative of his affections. but hey not to say that you won't be the one feeling you need a man your own age to feel comfortable, some point later.
I catch myself thinking waaaay ahead, like: when I'll be 40 then he will be 33, how will I look to him then...blah blah, but that is just ridiculous to go there. For whole bunch of reasons! Who knows what might happen next week not to mention in a 10 years lol
He is not superficial type. Think he wouldn't be with me in a first place if he isn't going for a long ride.
@celticlioness
Thanks, that gives me a positive vibe ^^ Yeah 7 years is not much but since is my first experience it is enaough 😄
@starlover
I understand your point of view.
In my case thing is that I don't have any kind of feeling that he is immature. He is absolutely on my level, would really never tell that he is 23. I'd give him min around 28.
Thanks a bunch for your comments. Really helps me discussing about it just to lend down some thoughts and to hear yours. Keep 'em coming. Would like to hear guys point of view.
Thanks, that gives me a positive vibe ^^ Yeah 7 years is not much but since is my first experience it is enaough 😄
@starlover
I understand your point of view.
In my case thing is that I don't have any kind of feeling that he is immature. He is absolutely on my level, would really never tell that he is 23. I'd give him min around 28.
Thanks a bunch for your comments. Really helps me discussing about it just to lend down some thoughts and to hear yours. Keep 'em coming. Would like to hear guys point of view.
I know quite a few people with an age gap of around 7 years, and it doesn't seem to matter much.
My husband is 12 years younger, and that definitely put him out of my mind as a romantic consideration. We would never have gotten together if he hadn't done the pursuing. There have been some age-related challenges, but we are in our eighth year together, so they were nothing we couldn't overcome.
My husband is 12 years younger, and that definitely put him out of my mind as a romantic consideration. We would never have gotten together if he hadn't done the pursuing. There have been some age-related challenges, but we are in our eighth year together, so they were nothing we couldn't overcome.
Great, really feeling more comfortable now as I'm reading your comments.
Comes into my mind that actually it is the matter of two persons - not the age, not the people around 'em - but them alone.
To me it is important that we are relaxed and comfortable with each other, our mutual understanding, how we get along, how we spend time together and of course that we are attractive to each other.
What -starlover- said about biological clock is true but I am not even close to thinking about having a child and think I still have enough time for that.
I have dated man of 42 and although he is older, had a good job and was open to settle down in a marriage, he honestly hasn't matured yet in many aspects of his life. He was making me feel really uncomfortable and nervous and I felt it soon enough.
Comes into my mind that actually it is the matter of two persons - not the age, not the people around 'em - but them alone.
To me it is important that we are relaxed and comfortable with each other, our mutual understanding, how we get along, how we spend time together and of course that we are attractive to each other.
What -starlover- said about biological clock is true but I am not even close to thinking about having a child and think I still have enough time for that.
I have dated man of 42 and although he is older, had a good job and was open to settle down in a marriage, he honestly hasn't matured yet in many aspects of his life. He was making me feel really uncomfortable and nervous and I felt it soon enough.
When you get over yourself and realize again that your relationship is good with him ... you'll have plenty of other reasons to doubt.
.... because that's what people do who doubt, rather than trust ... they actually look for reasons to fail.
.... because you clearly stated the relationship was good, so there's no other reason for the existence of this thread except in anticipation of failure.
Again ..... don't worry, because every time you look for problems, you will find one to put your energy into.
Posted by P-Angel
When you get over yourself and realize again that your relationship is good with him ... you'll have plenty of other reasons to doubt.
.... because that's what people do who doubt, rather than trust ... they actually look for reasons to fail.
.... because you clearly stated the relationship was good, so there's no other reason for the existence of this thread except in anticipation of failure.
Again ..... don't worry, because every time you look for problems, you will find one to put your energy into.
Thanks for sharing but it is not that really serious. I just wanted to know experience of others, cause as I said multiple times here it is something new for me and I simply want to eliminate those moments of worrying... That is all pretty much. I don't really live in fear or act in fear, it's just some questions in my head that I never asked my self before or had anyone in my surroundings in same situation so I wanted to share. 😉
I don't consider it a problem honestly just something not that usual or conventional and to be honest after putting it here and reading comments of others I see how silly it is to have any kind of thoughts about it.
Thx people!
The only issue that'd pop up is emotional maturity and/or being in different places in life.
I've dated a couple of younger guys. Things were great for awhile, but then me being here, and them being there in life and in emotional maturity caught up. They THOUGHT they were up for serious dating, but realized they weren't. It was annoying because it felt like they just wasted my time.
Guys in their early 20s have no idea what they want, so sometimes you end up stuck in that nonsense.
But as mentioned before, if things are fine, go with it. But don't be surprised when he starts acting his age.
In my experience, it took about 3 months for their true selves to show and what I was afraid of popped up. ...which was disappointing because things seemed cool.
I've dated a couple of younger guys. Things were great for awhile, but then me being here, and them being there in life and in emotional maturity caught up. They THOUGHT they were up for serious dating, but realized they weren't. It was annoying because it felt like they just wasted my time.
Guys in their early 20s have no idea what they want, so sometimes you end up stuck in that nonsense.
But as mentioned before, if things are fine, go with it. But don't be surprised when he starts acting his age.
In my experience, it took about 3 months for their true selves to show and what I was afraid of popped up. ...which was disappointing because things seemed cool.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
The only issue that'd pop up is emotional maturity and/or being in different places in life.
I've dated a couple of younger guys. Things were great for awhile, but then me being here, and them being there in life and in emotional maturity caught up. They THOUGHT they were up for serious dating, but realized they weren't. It was annoying because it felt like they just wasted my time.
Guys in their early 20s have no idea what they want, so sometimes you end up stuck in that nonsense.
But as mentioned before, if things are fine, go with it. But don't be surprised when he starts acting his age.
In my experience, it took about 3 months for their true selves to show and what I was afraid of popped up. ...which was disappointing because things seemed cool.
We shall see.
Actually, lately I've seen plenty of 30/40 years old man that still didn't figured out what they want.
Not going to split my head open thinking about it cause it would be a never ending story lol no point really.
To remind myself: there is a possibility for any kind op pairing to end for some reason - one or the other, there will be problems to think about when they arise. Not a second before.
Basically.
With the last guy I dated, I was iffy already about the age gap but went ahead anyway. Figured why the hell not, you know?
It just sucks when they prove my gut instinct right. But the issues that came up were nothing I really was concerned with until they happened. At least I knew what to look for when it did happen.
With the last guy I dated, I was iffy already about the age gap but went ahead anyway. Figured why the hell not, you know?
It just sucks when they prove my gut instinct right. But the issues that came up were nothing I really was concerned with until they happened. At least I knew what to look for when it did happen.
@starlover
Yeah, I have in mid what you said but as I said we shall see. Would be wrong making it a problem now just cause one day a problem could arise.
What P-Angel said : "you'll have plenty of other reasons to doubt.... because that's what people do who doubt, rather than trust ... they actually look for reasons to fail."
Yeah, I have in mid what you said but as I said we shall see. Would be wrong making it a problem now just cause one day a problem could arise.
What P-Angel said : "you'll have plenty of other reasons to doubt.... because that's what people do who doubt, rather than trust ... they actually look for reasons to fail."
Posted by starlover
i was unrealistic in my expectations, but eventually woke up
Now that is the word that makes me shiver. Expectations - prescription for failure or disappointment at least (that happens with any person of any age). That's what I've learned so far.
Expecting something from someone is simply wrong. It is simply the ego thing, we all do it, I do it - but I try to recognise it and eliminate it right from the start.
First of all by expecting certain kind of behavior we are making nothing but presumptions and making our own picture about the person or the situation (how should it be) which can be completely false. The problem in the very start would be in me if I start making expectations.
The other expectation is the one where I WANT something from him. Expectation and love aren't going together. One thing is being loud and clear, opinionated on your relationship, emotions etc.(things you tolerate or don't) - first towards yourself then towards your partner. But expectation is a killer. Do I want to marry and have a family? Yes. Do I expect it? No. Have I told that to my guy? Yes. Do I expect him to marry me? No. Time will come (if it comes) that things will obviously point on it - then perhaps I will expect that step if we are both for it and feeling like there is no second taught.
Well, I guess when and IF that time arrives he won't be in his early 20es anymore lol
I always hated when people made presumptions based on my age. Usually they thaught that I am much younger then my age yet very wise for my "young age" lol I can act like a girl, play video games all day and buying a motorcycle in a near future is still on the top of my list of priorities... But that doesn't have anything to do with the level of my maturity towards certain situations or people.
Anyhow. So it is not the question here about the age difference anymore but maturity of the men in early 20es.
Just maybe I would completely agree with you but my experience is simply stopping me from it. Looking at my brother of 25 now. How he acted past 3 years. Cause of him I simply can't generalize things. He is so disciplined, responsible, opinionated, loud and clear. (well loud as one Taurus can be) Yes, I saw a "young lad" in him just as I see one in my partner and that is his age coming out. Level of maturity (responsibility?) has very little to do with their age.
Posted by starlover
YES indeed to all you say, but sadly, quite human 😢
*Learning*
🙂
Nah I know 🙂 as I said I do it too and trying really not to!
Well, expecting in that contex, yes indeed... or expecting a pizza delivery man when you are hungry as hell! 😄 Or expecting that 10th in the month to get your paycheck!
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So I am dating a younger guy. He is 23 and I am 30.
We get along perfectly. Mentally and physically as we are the same age, no doubt 'bout that.
As a pair there is really nothing to add or to reduce, he is just what I wanted from a man. His words about me are the same.
Just this age thing is bugging me from day to day, simply pops in my mind and I start to worry...not even sure around what exactly, but it brings this unpleasant feeling (fear?).
Even though my rational thinking is telling me there is absolutely no need to worrie just to relax and enjoy, can't escape these short episodes of worring. Maybe I still have to get used to it (since before I dated older guys) and to accepting the reactions of our surroundings. People here are very skeptical when a women is older then a guy. Narrow-minded thinking. I have to ignore it.
Anyhow, I would really like to hear some examples. Or your opinion over it in general!
Ty 😉