Dating my ex's older brother

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by kmi924 on Thursday, July 26, 2018 and has 35 replies.
Hi ya'll! Thank you for the comments ahead of time. Let me just jump into the situation.

So I dated, lets call him Mark, for almost 4 years a while back. We broke up about 5 and a half years ago. After the break up, he started dating someone who used to be my good friend about 3 days later. They have a kid now. Mark and I were young when we started dating, we dated from ages 18-21. We had a great relationship, until his mother had passed away. It was a lot for us to deal with and he had changed. After this happened, he and his older brother got their own apartment, that I practically lived in as well. I was always pretty close with his brother, and even a bit before the break up used to think to myself "I am dating the wrong brother." He took me bar hopping on my 21st birthday, as Mark and my other friends were still 20. One time Mark was watching a horror movie with his friends that I could not watch, so his brother went out for a cigarette, I followed and we hung out until the movie was over. Even after the break up, we would still randomly bump into each other at house parties, and I even spent the night at his place once so I would not have to drive home.

Flash forward now:

Mark's brother made his first Facebook, as he had broken up with his girlfriend and wanted to "meet girls." Of course when he requested me, I messaged him asking when we were going fishing. (Fishing is very big with us. Mark, his brother, and their father are the ones who taught me how to fish.) So we started hanging out. He told me he really likes me, apologized for his "awkwardness" and said he did not want things to be weird. I told him I really like him too, so we decided "fuck it, lets do this." We have not hooked up, or even kissed or anything but we decided we will keep this between just us for a while to see how things go and take things super slow.

Is this horrible? Would you be upset if you were Mark? He told me he did not think Mark would care, so I am hoping not. I know the rest of his family would be thrilled, as they always really liked me.

Any stories would help, thank you again!
anyone?
Hellerrrrr
Posted by BackyardVurgeon

What are all your signs though?
Thank you for the reply! I am a Libra, Mark is Gemini, and brother is Aquarius
Posted by oneday

I think it is completely fine, it was a very long time ago. And as you said, Mark dated a friend of yours before as well.

I would say as long as his brother is okay with this and can let out the information to Mark why let it stop you guys from being happy? Seems like you guys were meant to be in eachothers lives anyways.

Thank you for the reply! I had read other stories online and people are always like "no that is horrible" so I was hoping it would not be in our situation. I was hoping the brother would maybe tell Mark before anyone, if we get to that point that we decide to tell anyone
Posted by MademoiselleFisk

I'd run the idea by Mark first... this can be a potential shitshow within the family.

Edit: not really to ask "permission," but rather soften the news to him. Sometimes it can turn out like Legends of the Fall kinda stuff.... (jk)
Thank you for the reply! I was hoping he would maybe be the one to tell Mark, but only if we decide we do want to tell people. We decided we will wait maybe 4 or 5 months to see how things go
Posted by oneday

I think it is completely fine, it was a very long time ago. And as you said, Mark dated a friend of yours before as well.

I would say as long as his brother is okay with this and can let out the information to Mark why let it stop you guys from being happy? Seems like you guys were meant to be in eachothers lives anyways.

And thank you so much for saying it seems like we belong in each others lives!! I find it quite hilarious and I always really like and respected him
Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"
Honestly, he was the first one too! And we all have that sense of humor that if things go well, I am sure that will be brought up
Posted by Arkansassy

Posted by kmi924

Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"
Honestly, he was the first one too! And we all have that sense of humor that if things go well, I am sure that will be brought up
Probably during Thanksgiving

I was thinking it’d be something like I go to his dads and hide, brother is like “so guys I have a new gf” and I pop out and say “boo”
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Posted by Arkansassy

Posted by kmi924

Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"
Honestly, he was the first one too! And we all have that sense of humor that if things go well, I am sure that will be brought up
Probably during Thanksgiving dinner
click to expand
Mark (while cutting the bird): this isn’t the only thing at the table I’ve stuffed 😏
Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Arkansassy

Posted by kmi924

Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"
Honestly, he was the first one too! And we all have that sense of humor that if things go well, I am sure that will be brought up
Probably during Thanksgiving dinner
Mark (while cutting the bird): this isn’t the only thing at the table I’ve stuffed 😏
click to expand
I'm sure his girlfriend and their child would appreciate that
Holy crap, you basically just described my life story with my virgo ex from 5 years ago.

His name was Mark. It was 5 years ago we dated.

And he has a kid now.

That's all that was accurate.

Posted by oneday

Posted by kmi924

Posted by oneday

I think it is completely fine, it was a very long time ago. And as you said, Mark dated a friend of yours before as well.

I would say as long as his brother is okay with this and can let out the information to Mark why let it stop you guys from being happy? Seems like you guys were meant to be in eachothers lives anyways.

And thank you so much for saying it seems like we belong in each others lives!! I find it quite hilarious and I always really like and respected him
Sometime things happen in very interesting ways! Like you said you would always run into him, or you happened to not enjoy the movie so you went and talked outside. Just seems like something was always conveniently pulling you towards one another. I hope things go well for you!!!

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Thank you so much! It's just so funny. I remember the first time we saw each other a few months after the break up. I was at a party and had heard he was coming, I was thinking "oh this might be awkward" so I was just quiet and kind of hid. When he saw me, he was like "hey *my name*! How are you, I didn't see you there!" and gave me a big hug. I like to think maybe he always liked me in a way too
Posted by Echo

Holy crap, you basically just described my life story with my virgo ex from 5 years ago.

His name was Mark. It was 5 years ago we dated.

And he has a kid now.

That's all that was accurate.

His name not really Mark was just saying for the internet. But still pretty crazy!
Posted by kmi924

Posted by Echo

Holy crap, you basically just described my life story with my virgo ex from 5 years ago.

His name was Mark. It was 5 years ago we dated.

And he has a kid now.

That's all that was accurate.

His name not really Mark was just saying for the internet. But still pretty crazy!
click to expand
I noticed I just had to say it thou 😂
Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"


that's whats called the air sign connection Tongue

I doubt anyone in that trine actually cares but they're all wondering if anyone careLaughing
Posted by Endless

Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"


that's whats called the air sign connection Tongue

I doubt anyone in that trine actually cares but they're all wondering if anyone careLaughing
click to expand
True that!!!! I personally think it would be hilarious, as I'm sure his brother. If things work out, it could be a joke for years, depending on how Mark feels. Marks poor gf is a Cancer and I imagine she'll be most mad about it smile
This makes sense.

All three elements.
Posted by TaurusBull1977

This makes sense.

All three elements.
Indeed so! And I just learned last night that their late mother was a Libra too. Knew me and her always got along well smile


It’s normal
Posted by Haruuka

It’s normal
Lol the situation or the air connection?
Posted by MademoiselleFisk

I'd run the idea by Mark first... this can be a potential shitshow within the family.

Edit: not really to ask "permission," but rather soften the news to him. Sometimes it can turn out like Legends of the Fall kinda stuff.... (jk)
Yeah! He should know but notnin any ‘special way’. It’s past that past...just move on kids and have sex already! Who knows what’s gonna happen after...lol
Posted by Gemitati

Posted by MademoiselleFisk

I'd run the idea by Mark first... this can be a potential shitshow within the family.

Edit: not really to ask "permission," but rather soften the news to him. Sometimes it can turn out like Legends of the Fall kinda stuff.... (jk)
Yeah! He should know but notnin any ‘special way’. It’s past that past...just move on kids and have sex already! Who knows what’s gonna happen after...lol
click to expand
I’m soooo excited!! We just had our first kiss the other night and I’ve spent the past 2 nights at his place. I think best to wait for the sex, he’s a gentleman he might be nervous. But I’m super excited for his family to find out. I haven’t seen his dad and his gf in years, as well as his aunt and uncle. I still talk to his dads gf on Facebook sometimes and we still send each other Christmas cards, and his dad used to come into my old work place sometimes for lunch. I’ll keep ya’ll posted!

Also it’s just crazy. I have an uncle who was super important to me growing up pass away almost 5 years ago. There’s a special song that I associate with him looking after me, and I heard the song 4 times on the radio since I started talking to the brother. Once yesterday AM leaving his house, and then again this AM. I like to think my uncle and his mother a chilling together up in heaven like “hey I have a great idea”
Posted by kmi924

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by MademoiselleFisk

I'd run the idea by Mark first... this can be a potential shitshow within the family.

Edit: not really to ask "permission," but rather soften the news to him. Sometimes it can turn out like Legends of the Fall kinda stuff.... (jk)
Yeah! He should know but notnin any ‘special way’. It’s past that past...just move on kids and have sex already! Who knows what’s gonna happen after...lol
I’m soooo excited!! We just had our first kiss the other night and I’ve spent the past 2 nights at his place. I think best to wait for the sex, he’s a gentleman he might be nervous. But I’m super excited for his family to find out. I haven’t seen his dad and his gf in years, as well as his aunt and uncle. I still talk to his dads gf on Facebook sometimes and we still send each other Christmas cards, and his dad used to come into my old work place sometimes for lunch. I’ll keep ya’ll posted!

Also it’s just crazy. I have an uncle who was super important to me growing up pass away almost 5 years ago. There’s a special song that I associate with him looking after me, and I heard the song 4 times on the radio since I started talking to the brother. Once yesterday AM leaving his house, and then again this AM. I like to think my uncle and his mother a chilling together up in heaven like “hey I have a great idea”
click to expand
They were close too, my uncle and Mark. My uncle even went to the mothers wake and Mark sent me a “condolences” text after my uncle had passed, that was the only communication we had since the break up.
Posted by kmi924

Posted by Haruuka

It’s normal
Lol the situation or the air connection?
click to expand
Both
Posted by kmi924

Posted by Endless

Posted by Arkansassy

"I've been inside of your girlfriend"


that's whats called the air sign connection Tongue

I doubt anyone in that trine actually cares but they're all wondering if anyone careLaughing
True that!!!! I personally think it would be hilarious, as I'm sure his brother. If things work out, it could be a joke for years, depending on how Mark feels. Marks poor gf is a Cancer and I imagine she'll be most mad about it smile
click to expand
"I personally think it would be hilarious, as I'm sure his brother. If things work out, it could be a joke for years, depending on how Mark feels. Marks poor gf is a Cancer and I imagine she'll be most mad about it smile"

now its obvious you are a troll, come clean!! smile smile
Posted by nanobot

Well he kinda got with someone who was a good friend of yours 3 days after your breakup.


So Mark will have to deal with it without complaint 🤷🏻‍♀️
He found out the other day! He texted his brothers roommate asking “is my brother dating *my name*? And the roommate did not answer. All has been going very, very well. We are really, really liking each other. I had dinner with his family and they’re all happy to have me back. Oh well for Mark 🤷🏼‍♀️
Posted by HeartofTopazz

Awkward
5 years is a long time ago 🤷🏼‍♀️
Posted by exsqueezeme

You are a disgusting fungal infection.
Excuse me. I don’t remember you entertained anyone with a post worth laughing or crying...so STFU!
Posted by Gemitati

Posted by exsqueezeme

You are a disgusting fungal infection.
Excuse me. I don’t remember you entertained anyone with a post worth laughing or crying...so STFU!
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Thank you 😁
You missed your opportunity for a brother three-way...or maybe not.
Update: Things are amazing! My family is happy for us as is his family. We’re crazy about each other. Bumped into his brother at a county fair, I froze and hung back while they talked, and Mark smiled and waved at me. Neither one of us have ever been this happy and we both know it’ll last for a very, very long time. We’re in love and we promised each other at least once a day after we say “I love you” we’ll also say “always have, always will” 😭😭 he said that first and it’s been decided, and I’ve always felt the same.

Just figured I’d give update because it’s great and in case someone wanted a real life love story for the day!
Posted by ACsquarepluto

Posted by kmi924

Update: Things are amazing! My family is happy for us as is his family. We’re crazy about each other. Bumped into his brother at a county fair, I froze and hung back while they talked, and Mark smiled and waved at me. Neither one of us have ever been this happy and we both know it’ll last for a very, very long time. We’re in love and we promised each other at least once a day after we say “I love you” we’ll also say “always have, always will” 😭😭 he said that first and it’s been decided, and I’ve always felt the same.

Just figured I’d give update because it’s great and in case someone wanted a real life love story for the day!
So sweet. Glad you're happy (:
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Thank you so much smile just wanted to share with the internet lol
@kmi924

is their father still alive?

just to have a complete set, you know smile



Posted by Pandora101

@kmi924

is their father still alive?

just to have a complete set, you know smile



Yeah but think I’ll pass