Did i do the right thing?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by XCOM on Saturday, July 22, 2017 and has 15 replies.
I wanted space from my capricorn gf but the truth is i'm not seeing myself going back there again

We always had ups and downs relationship but this was like the last straw and i simply can't over look it . After having a short brake between us to figure things out we got back together and 1-2 weeks after that she decided to go on a trip with her parents which she didn't tell me about until much later but i would have to say that's not the real issue , the real issue is she didn't even bother asking me if i wanted to come or not, i probably wouldn't have gone anyway but still

When i went somewhere i always invited her and didn't go without her so a part of me feels betrayed

I told her that it wasn't really nice considering everything and the butter storm got unleashed and it ended up with it's my fault and her acting so self righteous
Posted by tiziani
Seems pretty minor, in all honesty.

Although I can understand not wanting to be around anyone who gets self-righteous/preachy.
And we were supposed to meet this week, she postponed it like 3 times, saying next day ..., i feel like her credibility in my eyes just dropped and i wanted to over look it but when she started acting it's your fault bla bla, i just couldn't stand it anymore
Posted by juliettee
you wanted space, now she is giving you more than you asked.
it's for the better, even if a part of me is slowly dying
Posted by Simsimi
You're upset, get over that. Then go talk to your girlfriend damn.
User Submitted Image , pretty much

I tried talking to her , it ended up with it's my fault , followed by some really rude conversations from her part
tell her that her word is no good with u

And she's a fat mouth who can't deliver

My cap friends hate this
Posted by over_thinker
Mutual Exchange is not happening...you will always keep an account of all such things...and then it gets worse... just saying from own experience.
I can forgive her but when she starts acting like she has nothing to apologize for , it makes me angry . Maybe it was not her fault but whenever it's direct or indirect , it still happened
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Mutual Exchange is not happening...you will always keep an account of all such things...and then it gets worse... just saying from own experience.
I can forgive her but when she starts acting like she has nothing to apologize for , it makes me angry . Maybe it was not her fault but whenever it's direct or indirect , it still happened
Tried expressing how you felt left out? , No?

Why? Too much of a man to show emotions? For me i express myself and if its not working cos i appear too weak for him, chuck it up to bad timing or incompatibility.

*shrug* can i ask how long you guys have been together if you don't mind

click to expand


I did . 5 years

Posted by over_thinker
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Mutual Exchange is not happening...you will always keep an account of all such things...and then it gets worse... just saying from own experience.
I can forgive her but when she starts acting like she has nothing to apologize for , it makes me angry . Maybe it was not her fault but whenever it's direct or indirect , it still happened
Tried expressing how you felt left out? , No?

Why? Too much of a man to show emotions? For me i express myself and if its not working cos i appear too weak for him, chuck it up to bad timing or incompatibility.

*shrug* can i ask how long you guys have been together if you don't mind

i tried doing exact same thing with my gf back then... but she started using all those things against me in every next fight... I expressed my heart out to her and she started exploiting it..

Well in all this she forgot how revengeful i am.. i stayed calm, took my revenge, showed her - her own place and then kicked her out of my house. No physical harm by any means..

NEVER AGAIN

click to expand


I talked to her in a very calm tone, told her how i felt about the whole thing and she said she understands but instead of apologizing to each other and forgetting about the whole thing , she acted like it was entirely my fault and that i was trying to ruin her trip and still talked in a very rude manner .
Posted by over_thinker
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Mutual Exchange is not happening...you will always keep an account of all such things...and then it gets worse... just saying from own experience.
I can forgive her but when she starts acting like she has nothing to apologize for , it makes me angry . Maybe it was not her fault but whenever it's direct or indirect , it still happened
I totally feel you bro. Mutual Exchange is not happening from her side.
click to expand
and before that she was supposed to meet up with me, i had some work to do and she had something to do so i told her, we will meet next day but that night she told me she was going and i didn't take it that well and so the next day it didn't happen . I convinced her to meet up on Friday but came up with trip related excuses. Point being that i always find out things late..
Posted by tiziani
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Mutual Exchange is not happening...you will always keep an account of all such things...and then it gets worse... just saying from own experience.
I can forgive her but when she starts acting like she has nothing to apologize for , it makes me angry . Maybe it was not her fault but whenever it's direct or indirect , it still happened
Tried expressing how you felt left out? , No?

Why? Too much of a man to show emotions? For me i express myself and if its not working cos i appear too weak for him, chuck it up to bad timing or incompatibility.

*shrug* can i ask how long you guys have been together if you don't mind

i tried doing exact same thing with my gf back then... but she started using all those things against me in every next fight... I expressed my heart out to her and she started exploiting it..

Well in all this she forgot how revengeful i am.. i stayed calm, took my revenge, showed her - her own place and then kicked her out of my house. No physical harm by any means..

NEVER AGAIN



I talked to her in a very calm tone, told her how i felt about the whole thing and she said she understands but instead of apologizing to each other and forgetting about the whole thing , she acted like it was entirely my fault and that i was trying to ruin her trip and still talked in a very rude manner .
Did you suggest a better way to go about it next time?
click to expand
yeah , i told her i can move past this if next time she doesn't tell me in the last few days, i get that it was like she found out for certain that day but the planing was happening before that..
Posted by over_thinker
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by XCOM
Posted by over_thinker
Mutual Exchange is not happening...you will always keep an account of all such things...and then it gets worse... just saying from own experience.
I can forgive her but when she starts acting like she has nothing to apologize for , it makes me angry . Maybe it was not her fault but whenever it's direct or indirect , it still happened
Tried expressing how you felt left out? , No?

Why? Too much of a man to show emotions? For me i express myself and if its not working cos i appear too weak for him, chuck it up to bad timing or incompatibility.

*shrug* can i ask how long you guys have been together if you don't mind

i tried doing exact same thing with my gf back then... but she started using all those things against me in every next fight... I expressed my heart out to her and she started exploiting it..

Well in all this she forgot how revengeful i am.. i stayed calm, took my revenge, showed her - her own place and then kicked her out of my house. No physical harm by any means..

NEVER AGAIN



I talked to her in a very calm tone, told her how i felt about the whole thing and she said she understands but instead of apologizing to each other and forgetting about the whole thing , she acted like it was entirely my fault and that i was trying to ruin her trip and still talked in a very rude manner .
LOL, she is a manipulative Bitch.. if you would like to play the game then continue and defeat her in her own game or simply move on.. in my exact similar case i chose to play the game, Not proud of it or really happy about it or gained anything out of it... but i sure as hell felt so gooooooooood.

click to expand


I'm tired of games smile, i want stability Sad

What's your sign ?
When you asked for space, what were you really asking for?

This guy I'm talking to LDR said this to me a few weeks ago which kind of took me by surprise so I agreed and then he got ahold of me the next day which, again, I didn't understand. So basically we talked about it (there's more to it) but it turns out what he meant by space is that he was really asking for less pressure. His mom just died and he had family shit going on and also trying to maintain a relationship with me. So turns out he didn't want space at all. He just wanted to take care of his shit and feel more grounded, knowing I was there when he got himself together. He had a moment. My problem now is that I'm not sure what to do. Do I continue giving the space? Basically I'm just letting him contact me right now.

The problem is that asking for space can mean so many things. Right now I'm going with the flow and living my life and connecting with this guy when he reaches out. The other problem is now he's starting to say things like I'm not paying attention to him like I used to. ?

So we are in a weird place right now. What should I do?

Posted by ScorpFemme
When you asked for space, what were you really asking for?

This guy I'm talking to LDR said this to me a few weeks ago which kind of took me by surprise so I agreed and then he got ahold of me the next day which, again, I didn't understand. So basically we talked about it (there's more to it) but it turns out what he meant by space is that he was really asking for less pressure. His mom just died and he had family shit going on and also trying to maintain a relationship with me. So turns out he didn't want space at all. He just wanted to take care of his shit and feel more grounded, knowing I was there when he got himself together. He had a moment. My problem now is that I'm not sure what to do. Do I continue giving the space? Basically I'm just letting him contact me right now.

The problem is that asking for space can mean so many things. Right now I'm going with the flow and living my life and connecting with this guy when he reaches out. The other problem is now he's starting to say things like I'm not paying attention to him like I used to. ?

So we are in a weird place right now. What should I do?



sorry for replying late, my account was apparently banned

I went for the staying together but taking time for ourselves , that might end in a brake up but anyway..

If it has been going on for a long time i think it's time to move on,

Posted by Sunsetvirgo
What's your sign ?
pisces