Disappearing v. Thinking it Over

I'm sure all of know how some people pull the disappearing act when they are no longer interested. Or they will reply to a text every now and then, but are obviously not making any moves to see you more etc.

Recently, I've talked to a guy who also made the suggestion that some guys will pull away for a little bit and review the relationship or the situation (if their not in a relationship yet) from a distance so to speak.

So, guys (and gals too) if you do one of the two above, how is the other person (the person you are dating or your S.O.) supposed to know the difference?

Its more of a general question. If I want to know what is going on I ask. 🙂 And if I don't get a response I move on.

One of my guy friends had mentioned that sometimes guys "pull away" to think things over. I've always assumed that if a guy seemed to have disappeared it was because they lost interest.

There are 2 types of people:
1. The people who prefer to remove themselves from the situation to get their head clear b/c they fear that staying will further cloud their judgment & prevent them from logically seeing a situation for what it is

2. The people who prefer to stay in the storm b/c they believe that the victory is 10xs stronger when they can pull through a situation even with all the odds stacked against them.

Leaving to get your mind clear b/c you are trying to protect yourself, the other person & the relationship is actually a good thing sometimes b/c it's no secret that staying can def. enable emotions to get in the way & cloud judgment

BUT simply disappearing without an explanation is def. a problem b/c it strips the relationship of effective communication.

It's not enough for 2 people to only be open/honest with eachother when the conversation is good, light & positive. It's just as equally important for couples to talk/be open/vulnerable when things are uncomfortable.

If a person can't tell the difference it's b/c the person who disappeared walked away the wrong way. Plus, it all depends on whether or not the disappearing act happens all the time or just on rare occasions. If it happens all the time, you're better off leaving that person & telling them to ONLY come back when they've got their shxt together instead of being inconsistent & leaving you to wonder.

It all depends on each person's individual ability to think clearly & make good judgment while during a storm. Some people can't do it, some people can.

But before you get in a relationship with someone, it's def. important to know how someone prefers to handle stressful situations/conversations (either 1 or 2) b/c being caught off guard b/c they were left high & dry can be more damaging than what the actual & original problem was

Posted by SweetLibra

Posted by Sempiternal
I'm sure all of know how some people pull the disappearing act when they are no longer interested. Or they will reply to a text every now and then, but are obviously not making any moves to see you more etc.

Recently, I've talked to a guy who also made the suggestion that some guys will pull away for a little bit and review the relationship or the situation (if their not in a relationship yet) from a distance so to speak.

So, guys (and gals too) if you do one of the two above, how is the other person (the person you are dating or your S.O.) supposed to know the difference?

I guess you'll know the difference if the guy comes back in a reasonable amount of time. I have had this happen to me before. I call it the "fade out". I just don't understand why they can't just say they need some time to themselves. But yeah, If he is not honest with me, I will just assume he lost interest and move on.

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It's because women pressure men into trying to get him to be as emotional as she is.

If your guy needed to have some space to think things through, and actually told her this ... she would be all over him emotionally, trying to drag him into emotionally expressing as she is, and he knows this, and realizes that he's better off to just vanish than have to deal with an emotional female who will definitely lose her shit with him if he tries to tell her the truth about needing space .... and she loses her shit because she will interpret it as he doesn't want to be with her.


If the female would grow some emotional maturity, and let the guy be a guy without trying to force him by means bombarding him with her emotional anguish .. then he would communicate with her and tell her he needs time in his head alone.

I've never had a guy vanish on me ..... if he needed to walk away, or just needed time to be alone in his head ... he told me.

And he did so because he knew I wouldn't flip out and try to make him feel guilty about it .... I've been married for a long ass time, and my husband had NEVER vanished on me and he's a Virgo, even.

I'm going through this with a Taurus Male friend right now. I chalk it up to immaturity. If you are mature, you tell the other person what is going on in your head/heart. If you're not, you just disappear- for however long. I just take it as a general lack of respect for the other person. JMO.

It's about maturity, respect for the other person & which level of self-awareness a person has.

If they could care less about you, of course they'll disappear w/o an explanation b/c that's their way of showing you better than they can tell you that they don't respect your need for clarity & assurance.

If they are lacking maturity, they'll disappear b/c they haven't yet grasped the fact that doing so is extremely hurtful to another person. Most immature people lack empathy & the ability to place themselves in another person's shoes. Someone who is immature & disappears may not leave b/c they're trying to hurt you, but instead are too immature & too self-absorbed to realize how their actions affect others

It's a rare day that I come across another person (besides myself) who is self accountible .... and will always lay responsibility on the other person.


It probably stems from the god delusion, which instills a program that tells people that the devil makes them do things .... so as this subliminal conditioning resides in the psyche, the subconscious transmit information to the awareness that someone else is accountible for what they do ... even if they do it themselves, literally.


Because in every relationship, there are two people ... most people don't know that, not really .. and think the other person isn't really responding off of them, the other person in how they act, must be responding to something else that makes them do it.


Whatever a partner does to you .... s/he does as in a response, a reaction ... but, for some reason, like I said, I think it's the conditioning of the god delusion ... people don't realize that thier own actions prompt the other, they are completely blind to it.


I'm nearly certain that I am the only person I know who is awake ... everyone else appears to be asleep.