European Men

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sweethearts on Thursday, July 11, 2013 and has 59 replies.
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Talking to this guy online and we seem to have hit it off however I'd like a little insight to the cultural differences. He is Italian/Turkish from Istanbul...I've not had much experience with anyone other than on my side of the world. He's pretty full on unlike the general Aussie/Kiwi's I've come across. Constantly texting me throughout the day and already talking like we are together... I've heard that European men are more forward like this? Is that correct? He has lived in Western countries for the last 11 years so adopts the culture here.
i guess what I want to know before I get there is what to expect? My mother has always scared me into believing they are a very dominating type and although I know it'd be a battle with me, the thought has stuck...are they all hands on too? I've been doing a tap out program and might knock him out with my reflexes if he were to grab me unexpected.. lulz Winking
Gem, you probably have some insight to this.
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A half Turk, an Ottoman *laughs*
You are in for a ride. They will usually come on strong with grand gestures but this is only part of their passion, it may not be based upon emotions. Are they dominating? Well, that would depend upon the individual but out in the public realm, yes they tend to be more 'masculine' for a lack of a better term but at home, it is a different environment all together, the woman rules. Hands on, is simply a matter of being rude or not, but they could be a bit more affectionate, some of them.
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*laughs* @ the both of you, tiz and gemc
Yes, both your descriptions are accurate but one is hardly being diplomatic, because one has witnessed and knows individuals from both sides of the spectrum, that is why the description was given in the way that it was smile
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Posted by geminicandle
Hmmm, I am amazed that I've never been with a Turkish guy yet.
Istanbul, here I comesmile


Istanbul is amazing dear gemc, but never carry any high hopes in regards to them Turks, unless you are but looking for one of those 'snacks' of yours. Turkish culture tends to fall in love with love all the time, melodrama, entirely.
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haha, well yes he is HOT but I think it will be a battle because I haven't met a man that has dominated me yet smile I think my mother has instilled this within me....she's going to have kittens if we do really get along! lol
Not sure, I'm liking all the constant contact atm. I'm busy and trying to get things done and he seems needy and wanting me to give my undivided attention already!
But he's certainly a charmer and sweet talker Winking
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Posted by sweethearts
haha, well yes he is HOT but I think it will be a battle because I haven't met a man that has dominated me yet smile I think my mother has instilled this within me....she's going to have kittens if we do really get along! lol
Not sure, I'm liking all the constant contact atm. I'm busy and trying to get things done and he seems needy and wanting me to give my undivided attention already!
But he's certainly a charmer and sweet talker Winking


That is the trait for both Italians and Turks, exception being, it is hardly catered to one and one only Winking
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If he's hands on as in guiding that's one thing but I won't be groped...he'd probably get a solid elbow!
Well now I am getting excited with all your comments, lol at PP...nothing wrong with that Tongue
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Posted by geminicandle
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by geminicandle
Hmmm, I am amazed that I've never been with a Turkish guy yet.
Istanbul, here I comesmile


Istanbul is amazing dear gemc, but never carry any high hopes in regards to them Turks, unless you are but looking for one of those 'snacks' of yours. Turkish culture t
ends to fall in love with love all the time, melodrama, entirely.


Melodramatic? Just how I like itTongue
Yea, I'd love to sample some turkish...delight! Hahasmile
click to expand


*laughs*
Melodrama, you need air, air, air Tongue Typical gem, flitting, fluttering by, never really around, but fascinating to watch smile
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Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by sweethearts
haha, well yes he is HOT but I think it will be a battle because I haven't met a man that has dominated me yet smile I think my mother has instilled this within me....she's going to have kittens if we do really get along! lol
Not sure, I'm liking all the constant contact atm. I'm busy and trying to get things done and he seems needy and wanting me to give my undivided attention already!
But he's certainly a charmer and sweet talker Winking


That is the trait for both Italians and Turks, exception being, it is hardly catered to one and one only Winking
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Mmmm I wondered this...he has already announced that he is a one woman man and asked if I was the same. i've asked if he was the jealous type as I have a lot of friends both male and female and he said, "not really but a little jealousy is ok, if you like someone you get jealous you know".. so I wasn't sure on that. I'm a jealous person but it would mean there is definite reason to be jealous.
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Posted by sweethearts
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by sweethearts
haha, well yes he is HOT but I think it will be a battle because I haven't met a man that has dominated me yet smile I think my mother has instilled this within me....she's going to have kittens if we do really get along! lol
Not sure, I'm liking all the constant contact atm. I'm busy and trying to get things done and he seems needy and wanting me to give my undivided attention already!
But he's certainly a charmer and sweet talker Winking


That is the trait for both Italians and Turks, exception being, it is hardly catered to one and one only Winking


Mmmm I wondered this...he has already announced that he is a one woman man and asked if I was the same. i've asked if he was the jealous type as I have a lot of friends both male and female and he said, "not really but a little jealousy is ok, if you like someone you get jealous you know".. so I wasn't sure on that. I'm a jealous person but it would mean there is definite reason to be jealous.
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A certain few could very well fall into the category of a one woman man, but you must also know there are also a few whom gives this very definition much leeway, and it is constantly fluid. What they may say and what they may do, are two very different matters, charming words are their make-up, sometimes they might mean something serious, other times it is completely meaningless entirely. Even if they have a woman, it will never stop them from being 'passionate', they will flirt, they will charm, they will be smooth talkers to most, if not all. That is the culture, it is in the blood and to a certain few, they are merely being polite, delighting the opposite sex is viewed as a pleasure, innocent pleasure, flirting. It depends, there is jealousy and possessiveness, not necessarily mutually inclusive but there you have it.
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I guess I'll tune in and sit back and watch..I'm flirtatious and feel it is harmless flirtation so can work it out myself Winking
I wonder if living in Western land for the last 11 years has changed that? Although he still would have spent most of his teenage and young adult years in Istanbul.
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Yes, I feel the same say about myself Gem...will keep that in mind Winking
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Posted by geminicandle
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by geminicandle
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by geminicandle
Hmmm, I am amazed that I've never been with a Turkish guy yet.
Istanbul, here I comesmile


Istanbul is amazing dear gemc, but never carry any high hopes in regards to them Turks, unless you are but looking for one of those 'snacks' of yours. Turkish culture t
ends to fall in love with love all the time, melodrama, entirely.


Melodramatic? Just how I like itTongue
Yea, I'd love to sample some turkish...delight! Hahasmile


*laughs*
Melodrama, you need air, air, air Tongue Typical gem, flitting, fluttering by, never really around, but fascinating to watch smile



Honey, try being me for a day, lol!
I don't even know where all this energy is coming from. And all these personalities, heh.
click to expand


*laughs and smiles*
Yes, that is your energy shining through and through, your Leo Moon laps it up like catnip.
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Posted by sweethearts
I guess I'll tune in and sit back and watch..I'm flirtatious and feel it is harmless flirtation so can work it out myself Winking
I wonder if living in Western land for the last 11 years has changed that? Although he still would have spent most of his teenage and young adult years in Istanbul.


It depends upon his family and upbringing, are they traditional, or they are more open and progressive? As well, it may depend upon the individuals and circles whom he move amongst, even though they may have spent a rater long while in another country, some gentlemen choose to only stay amongst their kind and they do not change nor adapt at all. It could sway either way, if you are lucky you may get a more level headed, balanced one Winking
Although yes, at then end of the day, that could be a possibility.
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I'm a Leo moon too smile Must be the European in her Tongue
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Posted by geminicandle
You can take the boy out of the village, but not the village out of the boy (or something like that).
I came to USA as a young adult, and it's funny because Americans consider me very European but my Euro friends think I Americanized too much.
He probably has the best of both worldsWinking


You are neither dear, but a colorful collage ???
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Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by sweethearts
I guess I'll tune in and sit back and watch..I'm flirtatious and feel it is harmless flirtation so can work it out myself Winking
I wonder if living in Western land for the last 11 years has changed that? Although he still would have spent most of his teenage and young adult years in Istanbul.


It depends upon his family and upbringing, are they traditional, or they are more open and progressive? As well, it may depend upon the individuals and circles whom he move amongst, even though they may have spent a rater long while in another country, some gentlemen choose to only stay amongst their kind and they do not change nor adapt at all. It could sway either way, if you are lucky you may get a more level headed, balanced one Winking
Although yes, at then end of the day, that could be a possibility.
click to expand


I'll keep an open mind Winking but I always listen to my Mama...she's wise beyond my years and it makes me more cautious. Last thing I need is a wandering eyed/bodied man. Just recovered from the last one and don't think I could take it right now!
Plus, Damn you got to watch what you ask for...I'm happily playing the single game and the men are coming out of the woodworks at the moment...more forceful than I've ever seen. I had 5 guys texting and talking to me last night all at once...must have been on everyones mind! Most nights I'm all alone playing on DXP lol
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Posted by sweethearts
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by sweethearts
I guess I'll tune in and sit back and watch..I'm flirtatious and feel it is harmless flirtation so can work it out myself Winking
I wonder if living in Western land for the last 11 years has changed that? Although he still would have spent most of his teenage and young adult years in Istanbul.


It depends upon his family and upbringing, are they traditional, or they are more open and progressive? As well, it may depend upon the individuals and circles whom he move amongst, even though they may have spent a rater long while in another country, some gentlemen choose to only stay amongst their kind and they do not change nor adapt at all. It could sway either way, if you are lucky you may get a more level headed, balanced one Winking
Although yes, at then end of the day, that could be a possibility.


I'll keep an open mind Winking but I always listen to my Mama...she's wise beyond my years and it makes me more cautious. Last thing I need is a wandering eyed/bodied man. Just recovered from the last one and don't think I could take it right now!
Plus, Damn you got to watch what you ask for...I'm happily playing the single game and the men are coming out of the woodworks at the moment...more forceful than I've ever seen. I had 5 guys texting and talking to me last night all at once...must have been on everyones mind! Most nights I'm all alone playing on DXP lol
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Well, there you go. When it is bad, it comes pouring but when it is good, it shoots you straight up into the skies.
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Italians "invented" the Madonna/whore complex and Turks... well, don't expect him to be very enlightened regarding women's rights and such. So either way, you're in for a ride... Winking
Hey I thought you were married already? What happened?
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Split 6 months ago...wasn't married to that one...
Living the single life again smile
Think I will enjoy the experience...always wanted to go out with a European!
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He was born and raised in Istanbul and that was one of the first things I checked lol He believes in God...I said which God and he said God God. But has looked into Islam...
My background is Jehovah's Witness...not that I'm practising, just what I believe to be true. That's about as frown upon as Islam or muslim.
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He's not muslim and I so believe in the Jehovah's Witness faith Star...I just don't want to own it for my life. My daughter is a baptised Witness and my ex-husband and all his family are so I still have a fair bit of association with them. It's a small word when you know a JW lull, can't get away from them Winking

So far, I've picked up that he may be a little dominating...so chances are I can quadruple that...haha, just from past experiences! If he is sexist, I'm out the door. I haven't come this far by myself to take onboard that shit!! In fact the part when I was studying with the JW's that said that the man was the head of the house and ultimately had the final say...I conveniently missed that Tongue
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Posted by tiziani
Yeah in Italy the men are sexist as f, but there's a sincerity in that that I think Italian women appreciate as opposed to the thinly veiled, middle of the road sexism you can find in other countries (from both sides)


Hmm, I would hardly categorize Italy as one of the more sexist countries around, they could be arrogant and they could of the 'yes, no or out' mentality but that is about it. Besides, Italian women, have all the tools and know how to move with the men instead of fighting against them, they accept and use their own feminine ways to take control of matters within their own hands, subtly, most of the time. If the men want to drive (metaphorically speaking), they will let them but who is really directing, who knows? Italian women are strong women, at least they better be, having to deal with them men!
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Posted by starlover
I am from BORING OLD GREAT BRITAIN

LOL


Britain is never boring, blasphemy!
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by tiziani
Yeah in Italy the men are sexist as f, but there's a sincerity in that that I think Italian women appreciate as opposed to the thinly veiled, middle of the road sexism you can find in other countries (from both sides)


Hmm, I would hardly categorize Italy as one of the more sexist countries around, they could be arrogant and they could of the 'yes, no or out' mentality but that is about it. Besides, Italian women, have all the tools and know how to move with the men instead of fighting against them, they accept and use their own feminine ways to take control of matters within their own hands, subtly, most of the time. If the men want to drive (metaphorically speaking), they will let them but who is really directing, who knows? Italian women are strong women, at least they better be, having to deal with them men!


That's very true, but you know some would label that entire dynamic you just outlined as sexist. I could make a thread with all the zingers my best friend there comes out with and people in PC-land would lose their minds over it, unless they met him and saw he's one of the most dedicated people to helping everyone.
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It is sexist, but who said both sex must be equal?
My thoughts -
Men and Women exists not as opposites nor equals, neither is superior nor inferior. We exists as two complementary wholes, bringing depth and fullness to ones' character and soul.
It is not a weakness, to allow a man, to be a man. Place your trust in him, allow him to live and breathe, in his natural state and he shall make you a woman, whole. Bask in your femininity, it takes great bravery, courage and strength to do so.

Now of course, my thoughts are assuming there is great maturity, trust, honesty combined with a high level of communication involved.
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Posted by tiziani
I am in total agreement with you smile Obviously with matters like this, it often comes down to how you word it... or just seeing it in action.


Too many variant shades of grey exists, but one thing is clear, as soon as there is disrespect, then it shall receive my sexist card foul.
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Posted by ninjutsu
It's okay for women to be more boyish and dudes to be more archetypically feminine too, if that's what comes naturally. I'm not talking about sexual preferences here either (though that's okay too of course), but also just in general personality terms..


Of course dear Nem smile
If one was naturally that way, there is nothing wrong in being so, my thoughts are based on the more general (what most individuals, call normal) circumstances. My thoughts could be applicable to various orientations as well, merely substitute the genders as appropriate, the last thing I would be is discriminant, unnecessarily so.
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S/H
BOTTOM LINE HE ISN'T EURO
IF HE LIVES WHERE YOU SAY HE IS MORE TURK THAN ITALTIAN
AS TIME GOES BY HE WILL BECOME MORE AGRESIVE
AND DEMANDING THEY START SMOOTH AND END UP TRYING FOR FULL CONTROL
WHATCH OUT
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Posted by ninjutsu
I understand what you're both saying now. Thank you both for elaborating smile


Shit, my head must be in the wrong place and I wrote Nem, I am so very sorry Nina!!! Sad
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Posted by james tate
S/H
BOTTOM LINE HE ISN'T EURO
IF HE LIVES WHERE YOU SAY HE IS MORE TURK THAN ITALTIAN
AS TIME GOES BY HE WILL BECOME MORE AGRESIVE
AND DEMANDING THEY START SMOOTH AND END UP TRYING FOR FULL CONTROL
WHATCH OUT


I would say he is more Turk than Italian but with the Western twist...yes JT, it's what my Mama says too...that's why I will be cautious Winking Mama, is always right in hindsight as much as I hate to admit it...
Still you never know until you try it hey?
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Posted by starlover
My friend's muslim hubbie asks her not to show her arms in public lol ~~ she does anyway of course, as she is irish...she tells him to *feck off*Big Grin. he thinks he can instill his islamic ways into her life style ..not a hope in hell, but he is constantly jealous of her just talking to men
tiresome and very restricting
smile



Haha, Feck off that's what Mrs Brown would say smile
I've seen it in other mixed marriages... and yeah, his comment to my jealous question left me raising an eyebrow...but then I can be jealous too!
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Posted by ninjutsu
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by ninjutsu
I understand what you're both saying now. Thank you both for elaborating smile


Shit, my head must be in the wrong place and I wrote Nem, I am so very sorry Nina!!! Sad


It's no problem, I knew what you meant Winking And it's rather complimentary to be mistaken for Nem anyway, so I will take that even if unintended Tongue
click to expand


I felt horrible enough to curse in public, can you imagine? *gasp*
Big Grin
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Posted by sweethearts
Posted by james tate
S/H
BOTTOM LINE HE ISN'T EURO
IF HE LIVES WHERE YOU SAY HE IS MORE TURK THAN ITALTIAN
AS TIME GOES BY HE WILL BECOME MORE AGRESIVE
AND DEMANDING THEY START SMOOTH AND END UP TRYING FOR FULL CONTROL
WHATCH OUT


I would say he is more Turk than Italian but with the Western twist...yes JT, it's what my Mama says too...that's why I will be cautious Winking Mama, is always right in hindsight as much as I hate to admit it...
Still you never know until you try it hey?
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That was what I took him for, more of a Turk than Italian in such combinations. Which is usually the case smile
Your Mama, will keep your head leveled, there is no doubt about that.
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Posted by starlover
Lady Scorp are you from England?
smile


Hmm, some would say so but others not, so who knows smile
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Posted by starlover
She is a strong neptunian nin, lovely but like i said somewhat deluded, bless her xxx


A kind way of putting it would be, her head is up and out in an alternate universe, in which we may not understand but should hope, even wish to see and experience smile
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Posted by ninjutsu
Lol yeah TLS it is rather unlike you hahah!


Is it not great? The shock factor *laughs* If I were in a room, to witness the expressions would have me in fits of laughter, on the inside only of course!
Big Grin
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by starlover
She is a strong neptunian nin, lovely but like i said somewhat deluded, bless her xxx


A kind way of putting it would be, her head is up and out in an alternate universe, in which we may not understand but should hope, even wish to see and experience smile


Indeed, most times I think Neptunian influenced individuals have a stronger grip on reality than the rest of us limited beings thanks to that dreamworld connection.
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Hmm, I see it as their ability to see more possibilities and perspectives than what others will, they are infinitely creative, where as others, may only see one way, they will see many. Although they would be best paired off with more stable, grounded and solid individuals, then their brilliant sides shall shine or it will be to their detriment, causing their own demise.
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You kissed and made up Awwwwww Tongue
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You fluff-balls Big Grin
Drinks Sant?!
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Posted by tiziani
Yes I did the smart thing, came to my senses and grovelled. She forgave me Smug
Libras, getting away with it since 1985.


One must sympathize with all the Librans before 1985 then Devil
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haha, yeah she was rather feisty the other night lulz @ Nina

I almost came to his defence Tongue
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Posted by starlover
Posted by tiziani
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by starlover
She is a strong neptunian nin, lovely but like i said somewhat deluded, bless her xxx


A kind way of putting it would be, her head is up and out in an alternate universe, in which we may not understand but should hope, even wish to see and experience smile


Indeed, most times I think Neptunian influenced individuals have a stronger grip on reality than the rest of us limited beings thanks to that dreamworld connection.


Deffo not my friend Big Grin

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Then she is special Tongue
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Not sure if I can handle this type of man...don't meet him until Wed and he is already appearing very needy and OTT!
Now I can see why men are turned off by needy woman...
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well, i haven't read all the thread but here is my 2 cents..
I have recently broken up my 18 years relationship with a Greek. Greeks/Turks/Italans... all rather same temperament I think. And I have witnessed lots and lots of relationship stuff with Greeks in all those years.
What can I say.. These men are passionate and hot and come full on indeed. They can be loving, admire you, very warm, like much warmer than western types. Full on, demanding and needy ? You bet ya! Will you feel like a total complete woman with them? Hell yes!
Now the downside...: possessive, very dramatic, can be very childish and spoilt because their mums made and still make them think they are the center of the universe. Will they cater to your needs when there is nothing in it for them..? they can be selfish and egoistic, so lots of times they won't. Extremely jealous and possessive, it was one of the things that made me break up the relationship in the end, being held back in a very subtle manner for 18 years. Beware if you want to go your own way as western women are used to. You will have to take it all at a slow pace and make them always think everything is their idea or that you always follow them, meanwhile trying to wiggle in your own way. This can be very tiring at times.
Having other male friends? Be careful! He will act very non-reciprocative towards that.
And there will be a lot of drama to fill your life. Now that I've broken up, even after the relationship went downhill for a year and was an ending story that even he saw coming, the drama from his side is overwhelming. I have been named and treated all of the bad things you can imagine and more, interjected with hopeless proclamations of love and sadness.
Summary: be ready to be possessed, loved, admired, adored and to go for a lot of wild rides in emotional roller coasters, it will be fierce, passionate, tiring at times and will suck you all up. You will have to fight for your own life and personality.
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OMG!!!!
That's so off putting! I am already put off because of the texts that I received on the weekend when I told him I was away with the girls...
I'm not even sure that I want to meet him now, you can't tame me or rather change the person that I am because I love me smile And I can do without drama...seriously!!
thanks for that!
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Well, didn't want to put you off, but it's just some stuff you have to realize.
I personally don't know if I could handle another southern/mediterranean man. I think I'd prefer to settle for the more 'cold' and less passionate western man instead of the overwhelming hot full on Greek/Turk/Italian.. But maybe that's because I'm getting older.
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Posted by Europesaggy
well, i haven't read all the thread but here is my 2 cents..
I have recently broken up my 18 years relationship with a Greek. Greeks/Turks/Italans... all rather same temperament I think. And I have witnessed lots and lots of relationship stuff with Greeks in all those years.
What can I say.. These men are passionate and hot and come full on indeed. They can be loving, admire you, very warm, like much warmer than western types. Full on, demanding and needy ? You bet ya! Will you feel like a total complete woman with them? Hell yes!
Now the downside...: possessive, very dramatic, can be very childish and spoilt because their mums made and still make them think they are the center of the universe. .


Pfft, us temperamental, "emasculated" europeans have nothing on Asian guys. I hear they are the only real alpha males left in the world! lol
Inside jokes aside, I'd have to agree with you. East- and south european guys have their egos invested in everything they do... for better or worse.
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Posted by sweethearts
OMG!!!!
That's so off putting! I am already put off because of the texts that I received on the weekend when I told him I was away with the girls...
I'm not even sure that I want to meet him now, you can't tame me or rather change the person that I am because I love me smile And I can do without drama...seriously!!
thanks for that!


We did warn you since page one, or rather a heads up smile
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I canceled out...he was doing my head in with his constant texting...so much so that I couldn't think of anything worst than meeting him and then having to say...not interested, sorry!!
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Posted by sweethearts
I canceled out...he was doing my head in with his constant texting...so much so that I couldn't think of anything worst than meeting him and then having to say...not interested, sorry!!


Too much, too fast, too soon?
Well, sweethearts, shall you be planning a full retreat?
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