Ever stayed with someone...
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by CancerKitten on Monday, February 16, 2009 and has 14 replies.
Just because it was safe.
Like you had known eachother a long time and everyone just sort of accepted that you were together and that's how things were? Like no one could imagine you not being together cause you had lasted so long so you couldn't see it either?
Or you thought it wasn't really a passionate kind of love but essentially it had what you wanted. Familiarity, friendship, financial security. Like the life style that came with it was fun but mostly it was kind of just safe.
What signs do you think are most likely to do that or do all relationships hit a point like that?
Like you had known eachother a long time and everyone just sort of accepted that you were together and that's how things were? Like no one could imagine you not being together cause you had lasted so long so you couldn't see it either?
Or you thought it wasn't really a passionate kind of love but essentially it had what you wanted. Familiarity, friendship, financial security. Like the life style that came with it was fun but mostly it was kind of just safe.
What signs do you think are most likely to do that or do all relationships hit a point like that?
I think I'm in one of those relationships, actually.
We have been together since high school. When people see us from high school they expect us to still be together since we were inseperable. We broke up a few times but always ended up back together because we each seemed to have what the other wanted and when we tried to date other people they just didn't have it.
We do love eachother very intensely and don't lack passion. But we also fight constantly. We have completely different communication style s and perspectives. It's seriously a struggle to discuss anything with him.
But it is all I've known really. I've put so much time and energy into this relationship, I just can't abandon it - he'd have to do something pretty terrible.
He's always there for me. It's safe. & I can be myself.
We do love eachother very intensely and don't lack passion. But we also fight constantly. We have completely different communication style s and perspectives. It's seriously a struggle to discuss anything with him.
But it is all I've known really. I've put so much time and energy into this relationship, I just can't abandon it - he'd have to do something pretty terrible.
He's always there for me. It's safe. & I can be myself.
I was in that exact kind of relationship for 20 years.
It wasn't easy to make the decision to leave, in fact it took quite a few years but when i was 100% sure, I left.
Everyone freaked and thought we were the perfect couple and would be together forever...
We are now great friends, and I can honestly say both very happy people!
Now I wouldn't settle ever again...I want the passion & excitment everything that goes with it!!
It wasn't easy to make the decision to leave, in fact it took quite a few years but when i was 100% sure, I left.
Everyone freaked and thought we were the perfect couple and would be together forever...
We are now great friends, and I can honestly say both very happy people!
Now I wouldn't settle ever again...I want the passion & excitment everything that goes with it!!
No i wouldn't..waste of time..
Miss Priss he's a Pisces
He's with a Cappy
They have this strangely affectionless relationship. Like they're together cause they know each other and that's it.
I think body language can reveal a lot and I've seen them kiss once in over 6 months. When one tlaks the other usually looks bored or seems like they're not paying attention. The only time I really see them smiling together is when there's someone else there who they're talking to aswell. When they hold hands there's still all this distance between their bodies. A lot one will walk way ahead or behind of fthe other. It's so weird
He's with a Cappy
They have this strangely affectionless relationship. Like they're together cause they know each other and that's it.
I think body language can reveal a lot and I've seen them kiss once in over 6 months. When one tlaks the other usually looks bored or seems like they're not paying attention. The only time I really see them smiling together is when there's someone else there who they're talking to aswell. When they hold hands there's still all this distance between their bodies. A lot one will walk way ahead or behind of fthe other. It's so weird
This is my biggest fear.
lol yup regular sex I would stay for --- regular 'great' sex... not regular being pumped on bad sex though
Just because it was safe.
safe in what way?
Just because it was safe.
safe in what way?
no I wouldn't stay with someone cos it was safe, instead of doing that, I'll rather move back home to my family---that's safety... some random guy... nah
I haven't, but I could imagine an Earth Guy staying because we're resistant to change -- even for the better at times...
I did. The old 'we're married' thing. When we married I was an Evangelical Christian and simply didn't think divorce was an option.
Even though he was gay, even though we were miserable, even though we rowed a lot.
I once read, "A Virgo will put up with almost anything, but when they decide to leave, that's it."
And one day I was thinking, "Well, I'm nearly forty..." And suddenly I thought, "One day I will be eighty. And I don't want to be thinking, 'Shit! I could have left forty years ago and had some happiness'."
And that was it. Though we couldn't afford to move apart for two years.
We're really good friends now. HE has loads of boyfriends, I've not been in a relationship in 6 years!
Virgos, eh? (He's Sag, I have Sag Moon. We were married twenty years).
Even though he was gay, even though we were miserable, even though we rowed a lot.
I once read, "A Virgo will put up with almost anything, but when they decide to leave, that's it."
And one day I was thinking, "Well, I'm nearly forty..." And suddenly I thought, "One day I will be eighty. And I don't want to be thinking, 'Shit! I could have left forty years ago and had some happiness'."
And that was it. Though we couldn't afford to move apart for two years.
We're really good friends now. HE has loads of boyfriends, I've not been in a relationship in 6 years!
Virgos, eh? (He's Sag, I have Sag Moon. We were married twenty years).
missmorals[Quote] 2/16/2009 4:21:58 PM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
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No i wouldn't..waste of time..
DITTO for me as well...Never will happen!! i am safe within myself and after awhile it would get boring to me...i need alot more
female from London, UK
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No i wouldn't..waste of time..
DITTO for me as well...Never will happen!! i am safe within myself and after awhile it would get boring to me...i need alot more
Impossible question to answer, because it is asking what a person will do in the future, and none of us know what we would do in the future, until we experience life getting there, which changes our perspective as each moment passes .... we can say what we would do right now in this exact second, but, not predict how we would act/react in the future.
You have to keep in mind that when a person is feeling stagnant in a relationship, or if they get to the point where they feel like the relationship has used up its value for well-being ... then isn't something that is recognizable as it's being developed. We don't see this until AFTER a long period of time .... for during the process as it is failing, we see it as compromising ourselves for the sake of compatibility for these two hearts to unite. So, it's not like you know all this time that the relationship is fucked up for yourself, and that you are settling to be with a person to whom isn't making you happy.
So, there's no way to answer this question .... also, you must know, and so should everyone else here responding .... that it's those very things you love about a person in which draws you to them and makes you want to compromise yourself that is also the very thing in which you begin to resent in the person when the relationship goes south ..... you resent the very things you once loved because these are the things in which you think weakened you about him/her and made you fall.
What made you happy begins to make you sad/upset ...... so unless the two of you actually really do feel "safe" with each other .... there can be no continued happiness within the union .. because ultimately, it will be these very things that endeared you in which you will target in resentment because you loving those things made you settle for compromising your standards for them.
You have to keep in mind that when a person is feeling stagnant in a relationship, or if they get to the point where they feel like the relationship has used up its value for well-being ... then isn't something that is recognizable as it's being developed. We don't see this until AFTER a long period of time .... for during the process as it is failing, we see it as compromising ourselves for the sake of compatibility for these two hearts to unite. So, it's not like you know all this time that the relationship is fucked up for yourself, and that you are settling to be with a person to whom isn't making you happy.
So, there's no way to answer this question .... also, you must know, and so should everyone else here responding .... that it's those very things you love about a person in which draws you to them and makes you want to compromise yourself that is also the very thing in which you begin to resent in the person when the relationship goes south ..... you resent the very things you once loved because these are the things in which you think weakened you about him/her and made you fall.
What made you happy begins to make you sad/upset ...... so unless the two of you actually really do feel "safe" with each other .... there can be no continued happiness within the union .. because ultimately, it will be these very things that endeared you in which you will target in resentment because you loving those things made you settle for compromising your standards for them.
Hi guys,
Asking your partner a few romantic questions in an appropriate time and place may liven up the romance considerably. The right questions may also deepen the intimate relationship between the two. Thaanks
NYK
http://www.drug-intervention.com/vermont-drug-intervention.html>Drug Intervention Vermont
Asking your partner a few romantic questions in an appropriate time and place may liven up the romance considerably. The right questions may also deepen the intimate relationship between the two. Thaanks
NYK
http://www.drug-intervention.com/vermont-drug-intervention.html>Drug Intervention Vermont
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