ex wife and shit

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by roamingfree on Tuesday, January 17, 2012 and has 30 replies.
so, my on again off again Sag updated his fbook "about me" info and writes exactly this "Currently at Ft.... in ..... I am divorced after almost 16 years of marriage. Sometimes life throws you a curve. "Mary" and I remain friends and we have 2 great daughters that I love very much. In my spare time I am usually at the golf course.

"Mary" is obviously not her realy name.
gawd!!!! why am I with this dude????
he's stuck in his past marriage that ended when she cheated on him and they divorced, even though he still wanted to work it out till the end.
Fvk this crap.
OMG. I'm fuming here and really why do I even bother???

am I really over reacting?
does he really need to put his wife there, who cheated on him?
wtf?
who the hell does that???
someone give me some real pep talk because this is too much for me...
I thought you guys broke up? does he have water in his chart?
It's s tough one -
On one hand it's good they remain friends because it's much nicer when dealing with kids. On the other hand it makes you wonder if he wishes he was still with her. I suggest perhaps asking him about it before you decide what the story is. I know with my partner he prefers to try maintaining a friendship with his ex wife because he sees no point in being at war with her since they have kids together.
You're jealous, perhaps? Understandable if you are.
no, not jealous. but it's not normal. being friends is one thing. we both have kids. I was married to someone with kids from previous marriage. so that's not an issue. the issue is him finding that it's subconsciously necessary to explain to the world the situations - BS to me.
He was divorced after almost 16 years of marriage to a woman, who cheated on him, and he STILL wanted to work it out, and you're mad because he put it on fb.........................? This is him. That's his life. That's what he's dealing with, and he wants people to know that. I don't really get what you're fuming about.... :-/
I would find it a bit ubderstandable if you two were seriously dating...
Also, I would be more worried if he put up something like 'got two great kids that I love and I'm mostly at the golf course...' because a man who has been married for 15 yrs or so cannot simply cut out the fact that he's divorced now,he needs to say it, to act it out, it needs to be out there so his feelings catch up to it eventually...no...??
While just a couple days ago you were in here posting about how you went visiting your exes facebook page .. which means in your twisted theory, you're still in the past.

Get over yourself.
You said .....

Posted by roamingfree
I did all that. I kissed a toad for 3 years who all did was abuse me, than I kissed a semi-frog for 3 years...broke it off myself, than spent 10 years with a frog of Aqua who cheated and lied constantly, than had a thingy with CaprArius - who back stabbed me till not end, than it was a one Libra for a couple months who was way off his scales, and ended up being my stalker, after that it was Cancer who was two timing me...really...than when I put all those behind me, put an enormous effort into rebuilding or rather coming back to the self I was and always loved, but learned that not all men are made of stinky socks&snakes...I was happy, really happy and than that darn last Libra comes along...so again I go in and slowly trust, and he's not leaving, has all the right points, even some that I don't care for...I fell face flat and now he called it off...




Which, exerpted points says ......

... I kissed a toad for 3 years who all did was abuse me ...
... than spent 10 years with a frog of Aqua who cheated and lied constantly ...
... had a thingy with CaprArius - who back stabbed me till not end ...
... it was a one Libra for a couple months who was way off his scales, and ended up being my stalker ...
... after that it was Cancer who was two timing me...


All in all, every relationship you have is fucked up, and that isn't normal. You are the common denominator ... which means you are responsible for closing your blind eyes.
abuse for 3 years = you let it go on for 3 years
10 years with a cheater you lied
stabbed in the back to no end

It's YOU who is causing this to yourself .. and now here it comes again. You go looking at exes facebook page and revelling in it so much that you make a thread about it so other people can also bring attention to this.
That's fucked up, and any person would tend to treat you like shit if they thought their partner was disrespecting them like that.
You come in here raising hell about him mentioning his ex .. while you are actually surfing for exes to see if you still have their attention.
Being a Gemini .. you might never learn what respect is ... who knows. But, what I do know is that you've made a career out of putting energy out there that draws in the wrong people. Or, maybe they aren't wrong, maybe they are the ones you know will REACT to your treating them like crap in like kind.
The example of like kind in this thread = you go searching for exes on facebook, so you can enjoy having their attention
10 years with a cheater you lied

* who
cheater who lied
Ugh. Quit wasting your life obsessing over what this guy posted on facebook.
Get out in the real world, meet someone new and forget about this guy.
Posted by leilaxxlovez
This is him. That's his life. That's what he's dealing with, and he wants people to know that. I don't really get what you're fuming about.... :-/
I would find it a bit ubderstandable if you two were seriously dating...



we are both talking actively about getting married and setting plans to do so. not in a way of "in the future sometime" but within the next year. I say that's pretty serious. He should be focusing on me not past. and if he can't than he's not into it. Either he is done, or not.
I'm sure you would be fuming too...
and it's him getting all the legal info and costs and what papers we need to have in place to marry. he's active duty and I'm in Canada, we see each other monthly and so - things are all about communication. it's different ball game in ldr.
How serious can you be if you are surfing facebook, looking up exes to see if they still mention you?
If you are serious about him, then you have no business searching for exes.

I've already copied over where you talked about how bad your relatinships end up ... and the picture becomes clear to me that you are likely an equal participant in creating an atmosphere of mistrust .. since you are interested in what exes are doing.
*"Mary" and I remain friends and we have 2 great daughters that I love very much.*
That is all you need really. Even if he would like to tack her living guts to a fence while pissing gasoline on her and touching off a match..he will remain civil for the girls sake. Even if some part of their relationship stays with him. I should think moving forward and proposing to you should mean something. You can't just shovel off 16 years and 2 children..who will always BE his children obviously...into some dank hole somewhere and expect someone to think confetti shoots out your ass when you break wind. Calm down and think about what you're doing. Getting all worked up and ready to call done over a paragraph on fracking FACEBOOK?! Aye, I'll give you a pep talk, after I clop you one upside the head. *thunkStars NOW, when the eyes have uncrossed we'll have tea and cookies and talk about maintaining grace under pressure and not over thinking stuff and making dragons out of geckos. Mmmmkay?
there are many reasons why I love you VB
LOL If I didn't care I wouldn't stick a boot up your butt. CHILL. ???
Posted by venusianbull
*"Mary" and I remain friends and we have 2 great daughters that I love very much.*
That is all you need really. Even if he would like to tack her living guts to a fence while pissing gasoline on her and touching off a match..he will remain civil for the girls sake. Even if some part of their relationship stays with him. I should think moving forward and proposing to you should mean something. You can't just shovel off 16 years and 2 children..who will always BE his children obviously...into some dank hole somewhere and expect someone to think confetti shoots out your ass when you break wind. Calm down and think about what you're doing. Getting all worked up and ready to call done over a paragraph on fracking FACEBOOK?! Aye, I'll give you a pep talk, after I clop you one upside the head. *thunkStars NOW, when the eyes have uncrossed we'll have tea and cookies and talk about maintaining grace under pressure and not over thinking stuff and making dragons out of geckos. Mmmmkay?



Haven't got passed the gasoline pissing yet but I know there is more good stuff to comesmile.....do you also have a fart-flavored stun gun?
ROFLMAO It comes in Bean, Thai, Korma, and for the really stout of heart .."Oktoberfest".
Posted by venusianbull
ROFLMAO It comes in Bean, Thai, Korma, and for the really stout of heart .."Oktoberfest".


Thanks VB!
I just burnt off 120 calories LMAOsmile
rolfmao
and I love you too VB and appreciate it smile
he came back with that JAG info stuff for us to get married and so he keeps me wrapped up in him....gah.... Sag thing... so good and so crackling at times.
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Posted by venusianbull
ROFLMAO It comes in Bean, Thai, Korma, and for the really stout of heart .."Oktoberfest".


Thanks VB!
I just burnt off 120 calories LMAOsmile
click to expand


Tremendous! *opening window* LMAO smile
Posted by roamingfree
rolfmao
and I love you too VB and appreciate it smile
he came back with that JAG info stuff for us to get married and so he keeps me wrapped up in him....gah.... Sag thing... so good and so crackling at times.


I'm afraid you're quite in love. Deary me. smile Still got my eye on you....mwahahaa.
yeah, is that a such a give away? now, don't go tell it to the whole world Winking I'm liking it, as cookie as this sounds in view on my Sag neurosis... Winking
Posted by roamingfree
Posted by leilaxxlovez
This is him. That's his life. That's what he's dealing with, and he wants people to know that. I don't really get what you're fuming about.... :-/
I would find it a bit ubderstandable if you two were seriously dating...



we are both talking actively about getting married and setting plans to do so. not in a way of "in the future sometime" but within the next year. I say that's pretty serious. He should be focusing on me not past. and if he can't than he's not into it. Either he is done, or not.
I'm sure you would be fuming too...

click to expand


oh...within the next year...? it just seems like the divorce was recent though...
Alright. I would definitely be fuming. It's simply a sign...he's not over it all...should he really be talking about marriage with you...? Do you really want to be married to a man who isn't into it. You need to talk to the man ASAP.
yeah, I know. hence my neurosis, but we are both at an age that things are clear at times. we will both be 40 next year. I will not be jumping that broom until all is clear and said and dealt with. and so, my neurosis continues...
:/
I don't know the background so can't comment on your particular problem, but my dad has been divorced from my mum and married to his current wife for over 20 years and he still won't say he is divorced from my mum. He has some sort of mental block. Also, the guy might be aware that his kids see fb or will see it in future. He may think they don't want to hear about dad's gf.
He is not in love with you! Now move on!
i agree. he is not. i've been moving on. slowly.
i agree. he is not. i've been moving on. slowly.
i agree. he is not. i've been moving on. slowly.

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