Exposed
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by libra sun on Friday, November 12, 2010 and has 13 replies.
Recently I have been talking to a lot of people about astrology and than it dawned on me that some of them are actually going to go home and research this stuff and probably stumble across this site, hence photo removal! I suddenly felt really exposed and realised I have been so open on here about a lot of things.
But then I got to thinking even though we all come on here and ask advice about relationships etc, how would you feel if you stumbled across a post and realised it was your other half asking for advice about you? and possibly a load of replies from members telling them to dump your ass
.
Would you fel slightly cheated or manipulated if you realised that your partner was just doing what us guys had told them to do? I dont think twice before posting and taking heed of advice from this site, but just wondering what it would feel like if the shoe was on the other foot.
But then I got to thinking even though we all come on here and ask advice about relationships etc, how would you feel if you stumbled across a post and realised it was your other half asking for advice about you? and possibly a load of replies from members telling them to dump your ass
. Would you fel slightly cheated or manipulated if you realised that your partner was just doing what us guys had told them to do? I dont think twice before posting and taking heed of advice from this site, but just wondering what it would feel like if the shoe was on the other foot.
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for opinions or advice. If you aren't sure about something (or someone) figure it out. Even if all the advice they received was against me, whatever. The only way I think I'd have a problem with it is if I never knew they had a question. If it's someone I just meet, fine; but if we had been together for a bit and they want to know why I did something or what I'm thinking they should just ask me.
Would you fel slightly cheated or manipulated if you realised that your partner was just doing what us guys had told them to do?
Is this any different than guys talking to each other about you women like we do anyway. It'd probably be better for guys to ask stuff on here because we can get a female perspective too. Guys don't always give each other the best advice.
I'm more worried that my boss will stumble on the site on day and see the date/time stamps on my posts...
Would you fel slightly cheated or manipulated if you realised that your partner was just doing what us guys had told them to do?
Is this any different than guys talking to each other about you women like we do anyway. It'd probably be better for guys to ask stuff on here because we can get a female perspective too. Guys don't always give each other the best advice.
I'm more worried that my boss will stumble on the site on day and see the date/time stamps on my posts...
Posted by libra sun
how would you feel if you stumbled across a post and realised it was your other half asking for advice about you? and possibly a load of replies from members telling them to dump your ass
Hey, if hundreds of people read my man's post & came to the conclusion that I was a bad partner for him, I wouldn't have a choice but to assume that maybe everybody is RIGHT about me. Would I like seeing hundreds of people dog me? Well no, BUT sometimes others can see a situation/picture more clearly than the 2 people in the relationship/friendship can.
BUT, it depends also. If my man was downright lying or exaggerating some things, I'd be a little upset that he'd take any advice given to him, strictly b/c you can never get the right advice if you're not giving the right facts to the audience. Sometimes even 1 small factor can make/break/change the way the readers respond/assess the situation. If he was downright being untruthful in his posts, I'd be more upset at the dishonest vs. the people who are honestly giving him what they consider to be "good advice."
Another thing...if he was outright putting my full name & certain personal details on here where others could identify me (cough: stalkers!), I'd be pretty upset. I believe in sharing enough facts so that the readers can get a good general concensus of what's going on, BUT over-sharing can backfire sometimes
I come to this board b/c I like hearing feedback & getting advice, therefore I would be a fool to knock someone else for wanting the same things. Who am I to say that I'm the only 1 who deserves to seek advice?!
1. Picking the right username is important. If your username on this site is the same username you use on other sites your partner knows about then obviously you'll be "exposed" very quickly persay your partner decides to get on DXP
2. I would never put my personal photo up on this site. I kind of like the fact that everyone/everything is anonymous here. If people could get too much of a glimpse into who you are behind the computer, they'd start focusing on that & perhaps even cyber-bullying others. I like how things are now. I like the fact that I can come to this site, share my story/ask for advice & yet not even have to share 1 personal detail (that's irrelevant to my post) with my readers & STILL get just as good advice.
Not sharing too much personal information about yourself helps the people reading your posts not to be as biased as they would be persay they knew too much about you.
Plus, it's rare that you would be the ONLY person going through a certain kind of situation. Millions of people experience some of the same problems we all post about every day, so I'd hope that if my man just so happend to stumble across my posts, that he would think "wow, I'm not alone" vs. thinking that the poster must automatically be me, his partner.
I think it's important to leave certain specific details out of posts sometimes. Things like that person's name, their friend's names, the state/city they live in and/or any specific things that are VERY unique to the person you are talking about. Those things should be kept private just in case the person you're posting about joins this site.
2. I would never put my personal photo up on this site. I kind of like the fact that everyone/everything is anonymous here. If people could get too much of a glimpse into who you are behind the computer, they'd start focusing on that & perhaps even cyber-bullying others. I like how things are now. I like the fact that I can come to this site, share my story/ask for advice & yet not even have to share 1 personal detail (that's irrelevant to my post) with my readers & STILL get just as good advice.
Not sharing too much personal information about yourself helps the people reading your posts not to be as biased as they would be persay they knew too much about you.
Plus, it's rare that you would be the ONLY person going through a certain kind of situation. Millions of people experience some of the same problems we all post about every day, so I'd hope that if my man just so happend to stumble across my posts, that he would think "wow, I'm not alone" vs. thinking that the poster must automatically be me, his partner.
I think it's important to leave certain specific details out of posts sometimes. Things like that person's name, their friend's names, the state/city they live in and/or any specific things that are VERY unique to the person you are talking about. Those things should be kept private just in case the person you're posting about joins this site.
Posted by CappyLuv30
My guy friends say that they only talk about the women they are casual about in detail; "the one" doesn't get play in these guy conversations. I guess it's a territorial reason perhaps....the wifey types are off limits.
That rule only applies to sex. Locker room talk is fine with whatever guys are doing it, but yeah you leave wifey types out. I was talking about the broader question of just talking about relationships in general. We do talk about stuff other than our sexcapades. It is still your SO asking questions about you to someone and sometimes just doing something because it was suggested to them.
Ooooh I'd love it! If he talked crap about me, I'd just offer him advice to make him do my bidding.
lol
So, you decide that maybe the real people in your life might find out who you really are?
priceless ... where's tubby
So, you decide that maybe the real people in your life might find out who you really are?
priceless ... where's tubby
Posted by P-Angel
lol
So, you decide that maybe the real people in your life might find out who you really are?
priceless ... where's tubby
Nope the real people in my life already know exactly who I am. But no one needs to know everything that goes through someones head, or they might not appreciate their one sided story being told on here, I know I wouldnt.
If I want someone to know something I would want them to heear it from me, not from a website they stumble across and misinterpret what I have said.
Hmmm... well, my long-lost Virgo soulmate was on here for awhile, because I sent him the URL. He even made an account and some posts.. and I'm sure read everything I'd ever posted. Did I feel exposed? Sure... my "private thoughts" brought forth in black and white, including stuff about HIM. Did it truly bother me? No. I am who I am at all times, the good the bad and the ugly. I am without shame for being absolutely myself wherever I am.
I also sent my Sag BFF the name of the site.. don't think she ever came here, though. Or she never mentioned it. Again.. exposed, yes. Afraid, no. Wish she would -- she would SO crack all your asses up!
I told my RL Pisces friend, but I don't think she's all that interested in doing ALL THIS reading. She'd rather get the "highlights" from me. Astrology interests her, but not all that much. More like it *amuses* her, I guess.
I have SEVEN younger siblings... SIX of them are online regularly. I've mentioned DXP to them (esp the Libra).. and if any have joined, I haven't found them... though it would be BLATANTLY obvious that this "Nefer" person was me, no mistake. Again, I'm not afraid.
I have several FB friends from DXP... and they can see that I'm exactly the same at both places. I'm not much for gossiping or talking badly about people anyway.. and if I say anything "unflattering" about someone, I stand by my words as how I really feel. And I'm completely unashamed.
My Libra knows VERY well that I spend a lot of time on DXP... the browser history tells all. He still says Astrology is "bunk" and grins at me for my interest in it. Do I think he's clicked some of the links from the History and read them? I do, yes. Especially if they had titillating titles that would make him think he SHOULD see what I'm saying about him. One time, he mentioned something about "the way I talk about him online, like he's way more amazing than he really is".. I laughed and told him to make his OWN account on DXP and his OWN posts, if he wants to show he's also human and an asshole at times... and that it wouldn't be some big secret revealed. I'm sure NO ONE here believes I think he's perfect, cuz I don't. I just love him, flaws and all. Plus, we'd ALL (incl me!) LOVE to see the "other" pov on my relationship. Bring it!
I also sent my Sag BFF the name of the site.. don't think she ever came here, though. Or she never mentioned it. Again.. exposed, yes. Afraid, no. Wish she would -- she would SO crack all your asses up!
I told my RL Pisces friend, but I don't think she's all that interested in doing ALL THIS reading. She'd rather get the "highlights" from me. Astrology interests her, but not all that much. More like it *amuses* her, I guess.
I have SEVEN younger siblings... SIX of them are online regularly. I've mentioned DXP to them (esp the Libra).. and if any have joined, I haven't found them... though it would be BLATANTLY obvious that this "Nefer" person was me, no mistake. Again, I'm not afraid.
I have several FB friends from DXP... and they can see that I'm exactly the same at both places. I'm not much for gossiping or talking badly about people anyway.. and if I say anything "unflattering" about someone, I stand by my words as how I really feel. And I'm completely unashamed.
My Libra knows VERY well that I spend a lot of time on DXP... the browser history tells all. He still says Astrology is "bunk" and grins at me for my interest in it. Do I think he's clicked some of the links from the History and read them? I do, yes. Especially if they had titillating titles that would make him think he SHOULD see what I'm saying about him. One time, he mentioned something about "the way I talk about him online, like he's way more amazing than he really is".. I laughed and told him to make his OWN account on DXP and his OWN posts, if he wants to show he's also human and an asshole at times... and that it wouldn't be some big secret revealed. I'm sure NO ONE here believes I think he's perfect, cuz I don't. I just love him, flaws and all. Plus, we'd ALL (incl me!) LOVE to see the "other" pov on my relationship. Bring it!
Damn. He said, "I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than join some Astrology website." So I'm thinking that's a definite no.
I told him I'd like to see HIS pov on our relationship and so would others, and that his Libra Male advice would be SO welcome here. He said, "You underestimate yourself. You see right INTO me, and it's scary-accurate. YOU tell people about Libra guys." So that's a no, disguised as a compliment.
I asked him straight out if he'd read things I posted on here and he just grinned and said, "Oooh, finally something you don't already know?? HA! I'll never tell. Maybe, maybe not." So, that's a yes. Emphatically, that's a yes. Heh.
I told him I'd like to see HIS pov on our relationship and so would others, and that his Libra Male advice would be SO welcome here. He said, "You underestimate yourself. You see right INTO me, and it's scary-accurate. YOU tell people about Libra guys." So that's a no, disguised as a compliment.
I asked him straight out if he'd read things I posted on here and he just grinned and said, "Oooh, finally something you don't already know?? HA! I'll never tell. Maybe, maybe not." So, that's a yes. Emphatically, that's a yes. Heh.
lol
This chic is fake .... if she was real, she wouldn't have any of these fears.
Funny as shit ... because always "acts" straight up and real .. I see now its her bullshit I keep smelling around here.
Funny as shit ... because always "acts" straight up and real .. I see now its her bullshit I keep smelling around here.
Posted by TasteOfChaosPosted by Nefer
I have several FB friends from DXP... and they can see that I'm exactly the same at both places. I'm not much for gossiping or talking badly about people anyway..
Thats a LIE and YOU know it!
I saw your last status update about some of the people on DXP... You were totally bagging them out!
click to expand
You chopped off my statement to try making yours true, sneaky Libra! HA!... "and if I say anything "unflattering" about someone, I stand by my words as how I really feel. And I'm completely unashamed." So if I say, "DXP is the new breakfast of champions - full of fruits and flakes and nuts!"... I stand by my opinion lol
I'd change it to "CAPPIES RULE!!!!!" as an inside joke, but aside from my unwillingness to lie... some whack-job Capricorn bitch on my list would probably think that was a compliment, or that I was flirting with her. -.-
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