Fairy Tales, movies and Happy Endings
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sweethearts on Tuesday, November 26, 2013 and has 12 replies.
Are these to blame for our romanticized outlook on RL?
This week I was watching a romantic comedy and of course the girl and boy have a hate/love relationship but then develop a friendship which turns to love against the odds. While it was lovely, at that point I wondered, does anyone really have this happy ending where the man comes running to find you and openly confesses his love, when previously he was a philanderer.
I'd like to hear stories if you have any.
Then over in Libra, I was reading a thread and it's exactly what some are expecting to happen in their own lives. Against all odds, he comes back and confesses his dying love....or it's want she wants to hear anyhow even though to others it's blatantly obvious that this guy is using her for his own selfish reasons!
More than likely obvious to her to and many many others but being bought up on these stupid "happy ever after" love stories that are so far fetched, has somehow distorted our reality and what we think/dream will happen one day...
This week I was watching a romantic comedy and of course the girl and boy have a hate/love relationship but then develop a friendship which turns to love against the odds. While it was lovely, at that point I wondered, does anyone really have this happy ending where the man comes running to find you and openly confesses his love, when previously he was a philanderer.
I'd like to hear stories if you have any.
Then over in Libra, I was reading a thread and it's exactly what some are expecting to happen in their own lives. Against all odds, he comes back and confesses his dying love....or it's want she wants to hear anyhow even though to others it's blatantly obvious that this guy is using her for his own selfish reasons!
More than likely obvious to her to and many many others but being bought up on these stupid "happy ever after" love stories that are so far fetched, has somehow distorted our reality and what we think/dream will happen one day...
I think movies etc only reinforce a certain mentality that's taught to women when their young. Its simple really. Have you ever wondered why the guy is expected to chase or "always comes back to make it right." Men are taught to work for what they want, women are taught that a man is to provide. Even something simple as initiation of a conversation. Yeah women can go out and get a job, but somehow the rules change when it comes to love...go figure. I'm not blaming women, I feel that society has done them a great disservice in the beginning. But, they also realize this and let those movies feed their ego. Thus they're not victims either. Men are equally to blame because it plays to their ego...or fear rather...and need to control.
What baffles me is the fact that there are a lot of people that haven't figured out that things are supposed to be balanced then elevated from that point. Both sexes showing masculine/feminine traits together and actually working as a team. That is actually what caused us to become evolved. Now it just see emotional immaturity. 30 somethings dating like high schoolers. So, until we actually start thinking on a higher level and acting on it...nothing changes.
What baffles me is the fact that there are a lot of people that haven't figured out that things are supposed to be balanced then elevated from that point. Both sexes showing masculine/feminine traits together and actually working as a team. That is actually what caused us to become evolved. Now it just see emotional immaturity. 30 somethings dating like high schoolers. So, until we actually start thinking on a higher level and acting on it...nothing changes.
I love love so I don't see why people shouldn't believe in their own happy ending. Hope is the keyword here. I don't see the point of living if one doesn't hope for the best in any situation. Imagine the world if every single one of us stopped believing in love. I wouldn't want to live in a gloomy place like that.
I think the issue here is misplaced hope. People trying to give CPR to a dead horse. Move on if the situation is not right for you & maybe one day, some day, you too shall have your happy ending. How can your hands receive when they're holding on to something else? Let it go & see what happens. I don't believe that God put us here for no reason at all. He didn't put us here to be forever indifferent to each other's existence. One day the pot will be reunited with its lid, maybe not ALL pots but some surely will.
I think the issue here is misplaced hope. People trying to give CPR to a dead horse. Move on if the situation is not right for you & maybe one day, some day, you too shall have your happy ending. How can your hands receive when they're holding on to something else? Let it go & see what happens. I don't believe that God put us here for no reason at all. He didn't put us here to be forever indifferent to each other's existence. One day the pot will be reunited with its lid, maybe not ALL pots but some surely will.
I like to look at it this way, words exist for a reason. We have words like anger, hatred, etc. And we all have seen that they do actually exist. Look at all the wars of the world, the unneccessary bombings, etc. So why is it now so hard for some of us to believe that the positive words exist as well?
I'm a positive person, so I'll keep believing in all the good things in life, even if I haven't seen their existence..doesn't mean they're not there though.
I'm a positive person, so I'll keep believing in all the good things in life, even if I haven't seen their existence..doesn't mean they're not there though.
Maybe those things would affect our view to a degree. Right now, though, my opinion is that what you're speaking of is something that usually goes away when the person faces the other harsh realities of life. Though, maybe some people don't face reality and get stuck with that view....but I don't think the majority would. I agree with WC that it may very well be holding on to hope. Relationships are very intertwined with emotions, and emotions are high stakes...if you're emotions get cut, such as in a break up or revealing of a secret, etc....it's going to really hurt. People generally wouldn't want to stray away from things that they're put emotions behind....so they keep believing that maybe it'll work out....or maybe I'll be able to feel that way one day, etc. If a person sees Prince Charming in media...they might think 'I want a guy to be completely in love with too. I want to feel an emotional high like that'. So, in my opinion, people want to feel deep emotions, like they belong (which love is), and like to hang on to whatever made them feel positive emotions or belonging.
What those movies don't show are after the wedding -
Cinderella chasing three spoiled brats while Prince Charming sits on the couch with a cold beer.
Snow White's exhausted because her prince not changing diapers or getting up with the babies at night and she's the only one doing it.
Ariel's Prince with a beer gut.
Aladdin has blown the family fortune and Jasmine's working three jobs.
The Beast is verbally or physically abusing Belle.
Okay, okay, I'm being extreme. But, you're right, they don't show reality.
Cinderella chasing three spoiled brats while Prince Charming sits on the couch with a cold beer.
Snow White's exhausted because her prince not changing diapers or getting up with the babies at night and she's the only one doing it.
Ariel's Prince with a beer gut.
Aladdin has blown the family fortune and Jasmine's working three jobs.
The Beast is verbally or physically abusing Belle.
Okay, okay, I'm being extreme. But, you're right, they don't show reality.
Do the things that happen in movies happen in real life? Absolutely.
There are thousands of weddings & newly born love stories every day.
Are they rare? Probably.
We have to remember that movies are movies & we have to be careful about what we allow to influence our outlook on life/love/relationships.
Of course movies have some impact in what we expect & want in love/relationships. Just like music does, our childhood does, our parents & the kind of relationship they had does, our friends do, & our own past experiences do. Should we let any 1 of those things be the MAIN influence? Well not necessarily b/c there's always gonna be that couple who defies the odds
My husband & I had a love story like that in a movie, BUT I'm also completely aware that everyone else may not experience things the way we did
The problem isn't in expecting fairy tale love after watching a movie. The problem is in convincing yourself that love won't be fulfilling UNLESS it happens the way it does in movies. THAT is the problem. That is why so many people are ungrateful or pessimistic about love. They can have the perfect partner for them, but b/c their partner isn't like the guy/girl in the movie, they aren't content & don't cherish the relationship like they should.
The 1 thing I do love about movies where there is fairy tale love is that it gives people the idea that if you try hard enough, forgive & give it your all, you'll be more likely to experience true love. That, in principle, is actually true!
There are thousands of weddings & newly born love stories every day.
Are they rare? Probably.
We have to remember that movies are movies & we have to be careful about what we allow to influence our outlook on life/love/relationships.
Of course movies have some impact in what we expect & want in love/relationships. Just like music does, our childhood does, our parents & the kind of relationship they had does, our friends do, & our own past experiences do. Should we let any 1 of those things be the MAIN influence? Well not necessarily b/c there's always gonna be that couple who defies the odds
My husband & I had a love story like that in a movie, BUT I'm also completely aware that everyone else may not experience things the way we did
The problem isn't in expecting fairy tale love after watching a movie. The problem is in convincing yourself that love won't be fulfilling UNLESS it happens the way it does in movies. THAT is the problem. That is why so many people are ungrateful or pessimistic about love. They can have the perfect partner for them, but b/c their partner isn't like the guy/girl in the movie, they aren't content & don't cherish the relationship like they should.
The 1 thing I do love about movies where there is fairy tale love is that it gives people the idea that if you try hard enough, forgive & give it your all, you'll be more likely to experience true love. That, in principle, is actually true!
Posted by scribble
I think it does show reality in a sense, but only a moment of it. People are usually blissfully (carelessly?) happy when they get together. It's just that they don't makes films about after the passion has died.
Wouldn't that be a fun farce of a film? Unhappily ever after, about bad roads the fairy tale romances have taken? Like really making fun of the classics?
Posted by krysrenee7
The problem isn't in expecting fairy tale love after watching a movie. The problem is in convincing yourself that love won't be fulfilling UNLESS it happens the way it does in movies. THAT is the problem. That is why so many people are ungrateful or pessimistic about love. They can have the perfect partner for them, but b/c their partner isn't like the guy/girl in the movie, they aren't content & don't cherish the relationship like they should.
The 1 thing I do love about movies where there is fairy tale love is that it gives people the idea that if you try hard enough, forgive & give it your all, you'll be more likely to experience true love. That, in principle, is actually true!
Bingo
i like to keep my fairytales in fairytale land.
in the real world, husbands and wives poop and fart, burp and have bad hair days.
children running around screaming, there's days when you want to pop a pimple that you see in your man's skin,and when you try he says ouch! and then tells you it's a goddamn mole. *shakes head*
there's the beer belly that looks so cute, you nuzzle it and then you hear another fart.
boogers and hair noses, pimples and dandruffs.
wow, the illusions...it's too much. it's not so much a dream world, but when you put on those rose coloured glasses, he's prince charming and the dark knight all over again. And the fart you smell,
you think well....he did eat a good meal tonight, i thought i smelled beef bourginourne or something like that...with a hint of beer.
oh and dont forget morning breath.
in the real world, husbands and wives poop and fart, burp and have bad hair days.
children running around screaming, there's days when you want to pop a pimple that you see in your man's skin,and when you try he says ouch! and then tells you it's a goddamn mole. *shakes head*
there's the beer belly that looks so cute, you nuzzle it and then you hear another fart.
boogers and hair noses, pimples and dandruffs.
wow, the illusions...it's too much. it's not so much a dream world, but when you put on those rose coloured glasses, he's prince charming and the dark knight all over again. And the fart you smell,
you think well....he did eat a good meal tonight, i thought i smelled beef bourginourne or something like that...with a hint of beer.
oh and dont forget morning breath.
You can keep your happy ending, my nose is very sensitive and I prefer they take that stench elsewhere!!
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