Fatherless
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by AA on Wednesday, September 21, 2011 and has 10 replies.
What was it like growing up without a father? or a mother for that fact.
Deep subject i know but i was watching Summer Heights High with a friend and i made a comment about the character Jonah Takalu who had behaviour problems
< width="420" height="315" ="http: Now the character Jonah lives with his Dad who is not exactly perfect himself.
But i made a comment about his character i said something along the lines of "We all knew a guy like that back in school"
To which my mate said "i was that guy", i said "What? gettin' kicked out of class and shit" to which he said "nah mate, i got expelled" and then i said something like "what? that extreme?" to which he then said "Yeah". *awkward(ish) silence* I just reliased he's grown up without a Father.
It just never surfaces, he's never ever talked about it, never hinted, not even seems(ed) affected by the matter. Mybe it doesn't bother him? After all he's kind of a cool cat and stuff just brushes off him so so to speak, or maybe he keeps it under wraps really well? After all it is a deep rooted emotional problem that doesn't show on the surface i think. It's not a superficial problem like a lack of self-confidence or an image promlem that can be fixed in a decent day. He's very confident and can can get and gets any girl he wants and he never had a money problem. AND HE'S NOT EXACTLY TALL! I say that because most men are stupid and are stupidly sensitive about their hight.
Other people are different, some resort to alcohol and drug abuse, with some people it's obvious it affects them. Personally on reflection i can sense it, it's in their energy, somethings missing, somethings not quite there, compared to a person who has grown with both parents. It's deep-rooted and powerful. And you feel that with that powerful energy if channeled they could achieve anything. Not like the world owes them something but more like hidden anger and motivation. They may not even be awre of it i don't know? I could be talking shite.
But i guess i'm also asking what are some of the UNIQUE symptoms (is that the right word? sounds horrible) Negative impacts of growing up without a father or parent?
My friend has a weird relationship with women. I don't wanna say he's a bad boy but he's got something in him the chicks just dig. Could be just him? His nice clothes and awesome car who knows?? But the girls are like putty in his fingers and
Deep subject i know but i was watching Summer Heights High with a friend and i made a comment about the character Jonah Takalu who had behaviour problems
< width="420" height="315" ="http: Now the character Jonah lives with his Dad who is not exactly perfect himself.
But i made a comment about his character i said something along the lines of "We all knew a guy like that back in school"
To which my mate said "i was that guy", i said "What? gettin' kicked out of class and shit" to which he said "nah mate, i got expelled" and then i said something like "what? that extreme?" to which he then said "Yeah". *awkward(ish) silence* I just reliased he's grown up without a Father.
It just never surfaces, he's never ever talked about it, never hinted, not even seems(ed) affected by the matter. Mybe it doesn't bother him? After all he's kind of a cool cat and stuff just brushes off him so so to speak, or maybe he keeps it under wraps really well? After all it is a deep rooted emotional problem that doesn't show on the surface i think. It's not a superficial problem like a lack of self-confidence or an image promlem that can be fixed in a decent day. He's very confident and can can get and gets any girl he wants and he never had a money problem. AND HE'S NOT EXACTLY TALL! I say that because most men are stupid and are stupidly sensitive about their hight.
Other people are different, some resort to alcohol and drug abuse, with some people it's obvious it affects them. Personally on reflection i can sense it, it's in their energy, somethings missing, somethings not quite there, compared to a person who has grown with both parents. It's deep-rooted and powerful. And you feel that with that powerful energy if channeled they could achieve anything. Not like the world owes them something but more like hidden anger and motivation. They may not even be awre of it i don't know? I could be talking shite.
But i guess i'm also asking what are some of the UNIQUE symptoms (is that the right word? sounds horrible) Negative impacts of growing up without a father or parent?
My friend has a weird relationship with women. I don't wanna say he's a bad boy but he's got something in him the chicks just dig. Could be just him? His nice clothes and awesome car who knows?? But the girls are like putty in his fingers and
... and he fails to treat them with respect i think? (sounds really harsh. maybe it is?) But girls typically love the beginnings of relationships but inevitably wanna get serious and get feelings. This is what pisses me off because you have perfectly nice girls being blown off because the guy their lusting over is a complete dick cuz some dick was being a dick and ran off when things got tough (i.e. baby!) and dicked off!
I know a poxy video can't encapsulate such a deep and sensitive subject what it's fitting i think.
< width="420" height="315" ="http:
I know a poxy video can't encapsulate such a deep and sensitive subject what it's fitting i think.
< width="420" height="315" ="http:
good point,
my ramblings are just, ... well my ramblings
my ramblings are just, ... well my ramblings
Posted by Maddy
Even though I grew up with a father (kind of), he was never around, barely saw him. He was always out drinking didn't care much if he had a wife and kids at home. My mom raised us, and fed us for as long as I can remember.
Moved out when I was young. We live far away from each other now, we speak on the phone sometimes, 2-3 mintues the most.
see i can never understand that, really baffling
My dad was around, but not really. When I was younger, he was always there, but about the age of 7 or 8, I stopped seeing him more, started talking to him less, until it got to a point where any communication expanded over several years.
In the beginning, it sucked. My dad was my hero of sorts. But my mother took on the role of father and mother and raised me and my brother. I became very individualistic and independent and relied less on adult figures. My brother took on a male guardian role, and I was content. My relationship with my dad is kind of strained. As for myself, I think I turned out ok over time. For a long time, I didn't trust males easily, but I learned. My father is not a bad person. In fact he does what he can now; this summer was the first time I saw my dad in two or three years. Still, I don't think I'll ever feel for him now what I felt when I was 5.
In the beginning, it sucked. My dad was my hero of sorts. But my mother took on the role of father and mother and raised me and my brother. I became very individualistic and independent and relied less on adult figures. My brother took on a male guardian role, and I was content. My relationship with my dad is kind of strained. As for myself, I think I turned out ok over time. For a long time, I didn't trust males easily, but I learned. My father is not a bad person. In fact he does what he can now; this summer was the first time I saw my dad in two or three years. Still, I don't think I'll ever feel for him now what I felt when I was 5.
I never missed my dad but there sure are some moments in my life where fatherly love couldve meant the world to me....but thats spilt milk but at times I think that his absence has a lot to do with me not having kids or not feeling the need to have a family. So yeah Father's Day was never a special day for me, except that one year when my dog and cat gave me a father's day card. lol. That was pretty cool.
I love Summer Heights High!!
But yeah I couldn't shake my dad off growing up, he's the over involved parent type, always in my business, I couldn't breathe lol
But yeah I couldn't shake my dad off growing up, he's the over involved parent type, always in my business, I couldn't breathe lol
My mother moved us out of state, far away from my father at age 7. I remember the day I left, I saw him and he gave me a lunchbox full of mints and gum and talked to me for a long while about how things would be and not to forget that he loved me more than anything else in his life (he's a scorp). I didn't understand the entirety of his words that day, but I do now. I spent so long that I can remember, crying myself to sleep always wanting my dad. Missing him so much. I had many more lunchboxes after the one he gave me, but I kept the one he got for me. It would go unused but I'd sit and stare at it sometimes, just missing him. Honestly, I'm trying not to cry as I write this.. ha.. Um so yeah.. we have kept in touch. There was a period through my late teens, when I became resentful of his absence and several years when I refused to seek contact with him. What I've learned since then is that we were both hurting very deeply (and sometimes I blame my mom for separating us). And no matter the distance, no matter the time between contact, we know deep in our hearts that we love each other and mean the world to each other. So thats my story with my dad! Love that guy.
And yeah I do believe that I'm the person I am today, because my dad wasn't around. Though I did have a step dad, he was a magnificent man as well- just wasn't the same.
I'm an Aqua too btw.
And yeah I do believe that I'm the person I am today, because my dad wasn't around. Though I did have a step dad, he was a magnificent man as well- just wasn't the same.
I'm an Aqua too btw.
speaking from personal experience, people bought up without a mother or father seem to do ok aslong as the parent they are left with doesnt fall apart! one good parent is better then two rubbish ones. Although to me two good parents still in love with eachother is the best situation all round, which I was lucky enough to have.
Also in my experience men with "absent fathers" seem to have a lot of issues, even though they dont seem to be aware that they do. For the first time ever I am in a relationship with a guy who grew up in a happy home with both parents parenting all of their siblings and are still HAPPILY married today. No issues, No drama
.
but then again "one parent families" and "sunday dads" seems to be the norm these days!
Also in my experience men with "absent fathers" seem to have a lot of issues, even though they dont seem to be aware that they do. For the first time ever I am in a relationship with a guy who grew up in a happy home with both parents parenting all of their siblings and are still HAPPILY married today. No issues, No drama
. but then again "one parent families" and "sunday dads" seems to be the norm these days!
It's good if I could do it all over again I would.
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