Feeling crappy after an ex texted me he got married.
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by freespirits on Wednesday, April 8, 2020 and has 17 replies.
I just got a text from an ex bf: I just thought about you, hope you are doing well during this pandemic. I got married at the end of last year.
WTF,that totally ruined my peaceful guaranteed life. I already heard of the marriage and had suspected he had cheated on me, given we broke up in August and he got married in 3 months. But I sucked it up and got over it, we broke up after all, confronting him is pointless. Now he just texted me out of blue about this, I'm totally triggered, and being in lockdown alone makes it worse.
If it's just a well wish to me, I might have replied thank you. But why would he tell me about his relationship, and when he got married. That makes the message a bomb even he might have good intention. Am I just holding grudge or he is really an a-hole? Why I'm feeling so crappy?
Background: I felt not being treated well towards the end of our relationship, so I broke up with him. To avoid any drama, I downplayed my bitterness and said more good things to him. We agreed to be friends but I never got a sincere apology about all his bad behaviors, so I never contacted him afterward.
WTF,that totally ruined my peaceful guaranteed life. I already heard of the marriage and had suspected he had cheated on me, given we broke up in August and he got married in 3 months. But I sucked it up and got over it, we broke up after all, confronting him is pointless. Now he just texted me out of blue about this, I'm totally triggered, and being in lockdown alone makes it worse.
If it's just a well wish to me, I might have replied thank you. But why would he tell me about his relationship, and when he got married. That makes the message a bomb even he might have good intention. Am I just holding grudge or he is really an a-hole? Why I'm feeling so crappy?
Background: I felt not being treated well towards the end of our relationship, so I broke up with him. To avoid any drama, I downplayed my bitterness and said more good things to him. We agreed to be friends but I never got a sincere apology about all his bad behaviors, so I never contacted him afterward.
Signed Up: Jan 30, 2017
Comments: 4555 · Posts: 7614 · Topics: 100
Comments: 4555 · Posts: 7614 · Topics: 100
Think of it this way - and you know for a fact this to be true:
Cherish your downtime and your peace of mind, knowing that his wife is stuck with HIM. He clearly thinks of himself as God's gift, thinking you would give a shit about him being married. Except he's oblivious to the truth: that he is an asswipe, and you dodged a bullet.
Better yet: if you have a trollish bone in your body, tell his wife about it and then stand back and laugh your candy ass off. Kinda like this, you horny lil she-devil you!!!
Cherish your downtime and your peace of mind, knowing that his wife is stuck with HIM. He clearly thinks of himself as God's gift, thinking you would give a shit about him being married. Except he's oblivious to the truth: that he is an asswipe, and you dodged a bullet.
Better yet: if you have a trollish bone in your body, tell his wife about it and then stand back and laugh your candy ass off. Kinda like this, you horny lil she-devil you!!!
what are you upset about?
a) that you are not married?
b) or that you are not married to him?
c) that things didn't work out and you are apart now?
or
d) or that someone agreed to marry him?
a) marriage is hard work and can be stressful. domestic violence has shot up exponentially during the lockdown with more women now stuck with their abusive husbands. not something to envy. better to be single and happy, than married and terrified you are going to get punched in the face everyday.
b) you guys weren't a match. why is the world be upset about not being stuck with him? sounds like you are way better off.
c) relationships end. it sucks but you gotta get rid of the things you don't want to leave space for the things you do want.
d) you don't want him. who cares? let them go in peace and happiness.
any way you slice it i think you are much better off.
a) that you are not married?
b) or that you are not married to him?
c) that things didn't work out and you are apart now?
or
d) or that someone agreed to marry him?
a) marriage is hard work and can be stressful. domestic violence has shot up exponentially during the lockdown with more women now stuck with their abusive husbands. not something to envy. better to be single and happy, than married and terrified you are going to get punched in the face everyday.
b) you guys weren't a match. why is the world be upset about not being stuck with him? sounds like you are way better off.
c) relationships end. it sucks but you gotta get rid of the things you don't want to leave space for the things you do want.
d) you don't want him. who cares? let them go in peace and happiness.
any way you slice it i think you are much better off.
So bizarre he would just drop that in like that - not even asking how you are and how life is for you?!
Better off without someone like that, good riddance.
Better off without someone like that, good riddance.
Posted by freespirits
I just got a text from an ex bf: I just thought about you, hope you are doing well during this pandemic. I got married at the end of last year.
WTF,that totally ruined my peaceful guaranteed life. I already heard of the marriage and had suspected he had cheated on me, given we broke up in August and he got married in 3 months. But I sucked it up and got over it, we broke up after all, confronting him is pointless. Now he just texted me out of blue about this, I'm totally triggered, and being in lockdown alone makes it worse.
If it's just a well wish to me, I might have replied thank you. But why would he tell me about his relationship, and when he got married. That makes the message a bomb even he might have good intention. Am I just holding grudge or he is really an a-hole? Why I'm feeling so crappy?
Background: I felt not being treated well towards the end of our relationship, so I broke up with him. To avoid any drama, I downplayed my bitterness and said more good things to him. We agreed to be friends but I never got a sincere apology about all his bad behaviors, so I never contacted him afterward.
LOL,
He wins, you lose.
Anyways move on.
Posted by Chicadee
I'm with 40cal... and I'm not a vengeful person, but it suits.
In all seriousness, I wouldn't give him the justifcation of a response. Anything more than "ok" is too much.
You can be hurt, trust your guts.. but also look at it this way. You still have power over him. He's still, some part in some way, invested. Otherwise, why would he care? Why would he need to demonstrate or do anything to try and "one up" if he felt he was some kind of equal or worthwhile? You didn't feel any need to get validation from him for any of your successes, did you? Nope. He needs you to hurt for him.. think about that. Who has the power there?
See it for what it is. Good for you for dropping him when you did. Now it's his wife's problem. 💅🏻
Naah, I think the guy has already risen above dating and competition and playing games and Power plays... It looks like the guy is happily married and settled down and out of genuine maturity he got back to his ex or exes and is tightening the loose ends which is a great sign of maturity.
The girl seems hurt because she wasn't sure if she made the right decision or not at the time and is still not sure. Sign of immaturity.
Seems like the guy was very much interested in settling down in his life where as the girl was not. So overall it's all a nice thing which played out in both parties favor.
Now the one who shows the butt hurt for no valid reason will come out as a sore loser.
The girl should instead congratulate the guy with a big smile on her face, and appreciate his decision and wish him luck for his future endeavours, also keep the door open. Don't forget to show care adding pandemic angle to it.
#OwnYourDecisions
show ZERO emotion
i'll never care about that jerk getting married
poor woman whoever he's marrying
i'll never care about that jerk getting married
poor woman whoever he's marrying
Posted by ChicadeePosted by TurnedOnPosted by Chicadee
I'm with 40cal... and I'm not a vengeful person, but it suits.
In all seriousness, I wouldn't give him the justifcation of a response. Anything more than "ok" is too much.
You can be hurt, trust your guts.. but also look at it this way. You still have power over him. He's still, some part in some way, invested. Otherwise, why would he care? Why would he need to demonstrate or do anything to try and "one up" if he felt he was some kind of equal or worthwhile? You didn't feel any need to get validation from him for any of your successes, did you? Nope. He needs you to hurt for him.. think about that. Who has the power there?
See it for what it is. Good for you for dropping him when you did. Now it's his wife's problem. 💅🏻
Naah, I think the guy has already risen above dating and competition and playing games and Power plays... It looks like the guy is happily married and settled down and out of genuine maturity he got back to his ex or exes and is tightening the loose ends which is a great sign of maturity.
The girl seems hurt because she wasn't sure if she made the right decision or not at the time and is still not sure. Sign of immaturity.
Seems like the guy was very much interested in settling down in his life where as the girl was not. So overall it's all a nice thing which played out in both parties favor.
Now the one who shows the butt hurt for no valid reason will come out as a sore loser.
The girl should instead congratulate the guy with a big smile on her face, and appreciate his decision and wish him luck for his future endeavours, also keep the door open. Don't forget to show care adding pandemic angle to it.
#OwnYourDecisions
"The one who shows butt hurt for no reason will come out as a sore loser"
Agreed.
Don't know about you but.. if my ex is an ex, there are no loose ends to tighten.
Reaching back out to an ex to tell them you're married is on par with social media virtue signaling shit. to me.
Attention/validation/vanity/power dynamics.
Life is too short for BS..click to expand
I think, he reached out to enquire about her health during the pandemic, and also gave a good news at the same time. Atleast this is what his short text suggests which demands nothing in return.
If he wanted to rub her the wrong way, he could have done it within 72 hours of his marriage or much sooner lol. Why wait for three or more months to do the same.
Posted by ChicadeePosted by TurnedOnPosted by ChicadeePosted by TurnedOnPosted by Chicadee
I'm with 40cal... and I'm not a vengeful person, but it suits.
In all seriousness, I wouldn't give him the justifcation of a response. Anything more than "ok" is too much.
You can be hurt, trust your guts.. but also look at it this way. You still have power over him. He's still, some part in some way, invested. Otherwise, why would he care? Why would he need to demonstrate or do anything to try and "one up" if he felt he was some kind of equal or worthwhile? You didn't feel any need to get validation from him for any of your successes, did you? Nope. He needs you to hurt for him.. think about that. Who has the power there?
See it for what it is. Good for you for dropping him when you did. Now it's his wife's problem. 💅🏻
Naah, I think the guy has already risen above dating and competition and playing games and Power plays... It looks like the guy is happily married and settled down and out of genuine maturity he got back to his ex or exes and is tightening the loose ends which is a great sign of maturity.
The girl seems hurt because she wasn't sure if she made the right decision or not at the time and is still not sure. Sign of immaturity.
Seems like the guy was very much interested in settling down in his life where as the girl was not. So overall it's all a nice thing which played out in both parties favor.
Now the one who shows the butt hurt for no valid reason will come out as a sore loser.
The girl should instead congratulate the guy with a big smile on her face, and appreciate his decision and wish him luck for his future endeavours, also keep the door open. Don't forget to show care adding pandemic angle to it.
#OwnYourDecisions
"The one who shows butt hurt for no reason will come out as a sore loser"
Agreed.
Don't know about you but.. if my ex is an ex, there are no loose ends to tighten.
Reaching back out to an ex to tell them you're married is on par with social media virtue signaling shit. to me.
Attention/validation/vanity/power dynamics.
Life is too short for BS..
I think, he reached out to enquire about her health during the pandemic, and also gave a good news at the same time.
If he wanted to rub her the wrong way, he could have done it within 72 hours of his marriage or much sooner lol. Why wait for three or more months to do the same.
🤷🏻♀️ fair enough. context is important
🤔 am I an asshole because I have zero desire to reach out to any ex and ask them how their health is during this pandemic?click to expand
Of course not, but if at any point of time in your life you do feel like reaching out to them and be in good terms with people from your past you should go ahead and do it.
If you don't it's fine too.
I would’ve responded with a “Lol, poor girl”
Maybe that would discourage him from contacting you again. He must be bored as hell to be so petty, so I would give him the same treatment.
Maybe that would discourage him from contacting you again. He must be bored as hell to be so petty, so I would give him the same treatment.
Don’t even respond just double tap the text and hit him with a 👍
He’s not worth more effort than that.
He’s not worth more effort than that.
I saw online that my ex Leo now has 2 kids with his gf.
She looks really happy. Hell, they whole Trump lovin family looks happy.
I couldnt be happier for all of them.
She looks really happy. Hell, they whole Trump lovin family looks happy.
I couldnt be happier for all of them.
You can let that text upset you, or you can read it a different way...
That you dodged a huge flaming brown bag full of dogshit, bullet by not being the moron who married him. That someone else is legally stuck with someone who is a liar in that he will promise monogamy, but never actually do it.
Then after you say "whew, thank god it wasn't me." Bake some muffins, look out a window, and smile.
That you dodged a huge flaming brown bag full of dogshit, bullet by not being the moron who married him. That someone else is legally stuck with someone who is a liar in that he will promise monogamy, but never actually do it.
Then after you say "whew, thank god it wasn't me." Bake some muffins, look out a window, and smile.
Who the hell gets married after 3 months nowadays?
*don't mind me / commitment issues #triggered
He cheated on you though...remember that? He's no longer your problem.
*don't mind me / commitment issues #triggered
He cheated on you though...remember that? He's no longer your problem.
Haha, thanks everyone for the suggestion and good laugh! I didn't reply and deleted his text, I don't want to give him the satisfaction if he is just looking for attention, and even if he meant well, I don't want to betray my own feelings by sending a congrats, so no reply is more than enough. Let bygones be bygones.
To the poster who said I'm lonely and want to be in quarantine with someone like him. No, I meant being alone in isolation makes it harder to cope with anger. But being alone is still better than with the wrong company. I don't want him, I was just triggered, you know, the feeling that you have already taken a step back from conflicts (I could have done something to embarrass them when they got married), but the aggressor persisted to rub it in your face. It's just too much.
To the poster who said I'm lonely and want to be in quarantine with someone like him. No, I meant being alone in isolation makes it harder to cope with anger. But being alone is still better than with the wrong company. I don't want him, I was just triggered, you know, the feeling that you have already taken a step back from conflicts (I could have done something to embarrass them when they got married), but the aggressor persisted to rub it in your face. It's just too much.
Now that man is the epitome of piece of shit. What’s the point of messaging you and with that’s message of all things. Douche
Posted by 7thHouseHaha! nah, I don't know where he picked up that woman. Towards the end of our relationship, he told me he was helping out a friend with something, I applauded him for that, so they should have known each other more than 90 days. I broke up with him for other reasons. Later when I found out they got married, I felt like the dumbass letting him cheat under my nose. I never met her, but from my friend who knew about the wedding, the wife should be her. It really sucks!Posted by Arielle83
Why did he get married so fast?
Like yuck
He's probably on 90 day fiance lolclick to expand
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