Flirting with a new guy/girl (MEN please answer too)

Hi everyone..

I'm interested in what MEN have to say about this, as well as women, but having been married, gone through a painful divorce blah blah, I'm trying to date and feeling like a total newbie again.!

And I'm scared when men flirt with me.

I never used to be.

Is it normal for a guy you just met online a few days ago to start flirting with you, but after a Day of light (non-sexual), flirting and calling me beautiful, starts telling me he's looking forward to some 'private workouts.'

(I'm a fitness instructor so I told him a little about my job).

At this point I will say that he gave me his number after a day or 2 on the site and i liked that.

And we've been chatting on WhatsApp.

The next day (day 2. The flirting gets sexual but not dirty. Just asking me ..

"Me too beauty. 💕💕💕 hopefully you could enjoy some time in bed thinking about me 😍😍🙈"

Then sends me a selfie of him lying in his bed wearing some nice black pants.

Then later on that day sends me a crotch shot (pants on thank god! I Hate dick pics!) to show me his Bulge.

Then starts telling me what he wants to do to me in bed. Again not dirty but sexual. And wants to know what I would do to him if he were next to me right now.

I mean to be honest I really liked the sexual things he was saying because they were naughty but not dirty and sounded fun.

However..This part got a bit 'too far' for me..

"Ok sexy. You like oral? Make you cum?

Wish you were here."

This was yesterday.

Is 3 - 4 Days too soon?

And by holding back, and therefore making him feel unwanted, by telling him "Not yet" and "Wait and see. We haven't met yet" (AND he wanted to see my naked chest. This I didnt like)...

Is he being too fast?

Am I being Boring??

Is he being normal by expressing his desire for me?

And therefore I'm just being weird for holding back.

In my early twenties I had no problem flirting like this but I would always make a man wait a while before sleeping with me.

But these days I'm feeling insecure when a guy makes these comments. But having read the chat between me and him, I just seem to be rejecting his feelings for me.!!

Help!

Posted by Aquarelle

Don"t engage in anything you are not comfortable with. Don't overthink it....

Ok thank you..

What do You think though.

What would You do.

Posted by ATGR

I’m not going to answer as such but one to help others answer, what type of relationship are you looking for?

So you're not going to answer me??

Why respond then?

Answers are what I want!

I want a relationship. To become a couple.

So..

Is flirting with me like that, ok to do before we meet? *

Then when we meet we have a drink, get to know each other, and after Not sleeping with him on the first date, hopefully see him again.

*That is basically what I want to know.

Posted by Aquarelle

I have no experience with online dating......What I would do, is state clearly that I am looking for a serious relationship. The ones that run away or go silent are the ones you have to avoid.

He told me himself..

I’m looking for a long term, real love, honesty, suport and respect!"

So I told him I want the same.

So he is either just saying that to get sex.

Or..

That's his style of flirting to get a relationship, so the idea is to not sleep with him, and build a relationship with him.

Then all that sexual stuff comes later.

Sorry I know you need men to answer and I am not one, but I got to say that this guy sounds like a creep

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Yeah, about that part, a guy screws around, you can tell. I mean, he barely knows you yet write such stuff even tho you do not appear as an easy girl/woman. Just ditch that guy if you are for something long-term.

He’s only after sex, once he gets that he’ll be gone

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

Posted by TxOgal

Sorry I know you need men to answer and I am not one, but I got to say that this guy sounds like a creep

Lol sorry x

I just assumed you were male without looking at your username or that it actually says female!

Really sorry x

Creep he is,I think!

internet has ruined internet dating.

Binding with someone over the internet is almost impossible, so you'll get mostly sexual propositions on dating sites. It takes time to know someone.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

click to expand

You’re welcome x

Has he sent pics of his face/eyes or just his crotch lol?

Have you gotten his birthday yet? 😀

“He told me himself..

I’m looking for a long term, real love, honesty, suport and respect”

A friend who’d slept with a lot of men tells me “men will do anything and say anything to

get sex” 🥴

She also said that some men would shag anything with a pulse wearing a skirt 😂.

Harsh, but maybe elements of truth in it?

She had a lot of experience with men and said she’d often slept with more in a week than I had in total 😬

Posted by Wizardz

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

You’re welcome x

Has he sent pics of his face/eyes or just his crotch lol?

Have you gotten his birthday yet? 😀

I'm assuming he has a dating app profile pic of his face lol and not just a zoomed in shot of his crotch

click to expand

Haha hope so, although I have seen crotch shots as profile pics lol

Brains in pants hey? 😂

Any man who is interested in you as a girlfriend does not send crotch shots. He wants sex and then he will probably disappear. You are not the only one he's sending crotch shots too. I don't call that flirting but being vulgar. A complete turn off.

Posted by DonnaLibra

Any man who is interested in you as a girlfriend does not send crotch shots. He wants sex and then he will probably disappear. You are not the only one he's sending crotch shots too. I don't call that flirting but being vulgar. A complete turn off.

Amen to this!

Posted by DonnaLibra

Any man who is interested in you as a girlfriend does not send crotch shots. He wants sex and then he will probably disappear. You are not the only one he's sending crotch shots too. I don't call that flirting but being vulgar. A complete turn off.

Exactly!

Thank god he had pants on!

I asked him what he wants in a woman and he replied..

"Love, honesty, respect, support and loads of sex 💕"

Hmm..he seems to have got his priorities in the wrong order!

You don't get love and respect by asking for lots of sex!

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

You’re welcome x

Has he sent pics of his face/eyes or just his crotch lol?

Have you gotten his birthday yet? 😀

click to expand

Well his face etc was already on his dating profile.

He first sent me one of him lying on his back on his bed wearing his black pants, by taken it in a way that i can see him from head to foot and looking at the camera.

He has a nice face, and eyes.

I find him handsome.

Haven't got his birthday yet.

But his profile says Pisces!

Posted by Wizardz

You're a fitness instructor? So I'm guessing you are in very good shape and prob proud of that and in your profile have photos that show off your figure... just saying you might want to think about that. Post some cuddly photos instead and don't mention your job at first if you want to attract less men only really interested in sex

This guy wants to hook up - that's it. I mean, he might be interested in getting to know you afterwards but seems like he wants the sex first..

Hmm..My body is ok. I have one photo of me in gym kit and its not kit that shows off my abs etc.

I'm not that kind of person.

Its a fitted long top that goes halfway over my hips.

I'm also wearing gym leggings but ones that go mid-calf.

The rest of my 3 or 4 photos are me in normal clothes. Eg smart/casual so that men can see me in my normal everyday look.

I like to look smart or casual depending on the day.

So i only have one photo in gym kit for that exact reason. I'm not looking for sex. I'm just saying what I do for a living.

Have you FaceTimed with this person? If not there’s a possibility you’ve been sexting with a gramma. 🐱 🐠

What you described is not flirting, it’s sexting.

Nothing wrong with it, but if your feeling uncomfortable don’t feel pressured to entertain it.

Or, side hustle idea, keep “flirting” cough cough sexting and end the convo with a sale of your sweaty workout socks. $ 300 a pop. Yw.

Posted by MyStarsShine

“He told me himself..

I’m looking for a long term, real love, honesty, suport and respect”

A friend who’d slept with a lot of men tells me “men will do anything and say anything to

get sex” 🥴

She also said that some men would shag anything with a pulse wearing a skirt 😂.

Harsh, but maybe elements of truth in it?

She had a lot of experience with men and said she’d often slept with more in a week than I had in total 😬

Yup!

That's what I thought when he started saying sexual things after 3 days.

He seemed all interested in me on the chat thing on the dating site.

Eg asking me how much custody I have of my child. How much free time do I have?

Am I ready to date?

Why am I am a dating site?

What do I want?

So I told him I want a relationship.

2 days later we are on WhatsApp and chatting. 1 or 2 days into WhatsApp chat, he starts getting very flirty then sexual.

So I thought "Oh FFS not another tw*t pretending to be decent in order t get sex."

Posted by hydorah

Binding with someone over the internet is almost impossible, so you'll get mostly sexual propositions on dating sites. It takes time to know someone.

Yeah I know. I hate dating sites!

I'm just so bored of being single.

And being a single mum is hard.

I just thought I'd have a look online. Eg window shop and if I like the look of a guy then I'll contact him.

I much prefer the excitement of meeting in person. Then chatting and actually seeing and hearing that person and exchange phone numbers etc.

Posted by Tsunamy

Pisces men are so awkward. Very handsome but not sexy lol.

I find them handsome And sexy. But my attraction to them is more Emotional. I love the way they are emotionally..its their depth and understanding!

THAT IS sexy x

But..

I also agree with you that they are awkward. I've got to know 3 in the last 7yrs.

2 of them recently in this dating site. And i don't mean to judge but all 3 of them are the Same!

Friendly, Flirty, Sexy, Emotional, Awkward.

But that does not mean that Every Pisces man in the same just because of those three!

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Wizardz

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

You’re welcome x

Has he sent pics of his face/eyes or just his crotch lol?

Have you gotten his birthday yet? 😀

I'm assuming he has a dating app profile pic of his face lol and not just a zoomed in shot of his crotch

Haha hope so, although I have seen crotch shots as profile pics lol

Brains in pants hey? 😂

click to expand

Lol 😄 yeah seems like it!

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Tsunamy

Pisces men are so awkward. Very handsome but not sexy lol.

I find them handsome And sexy. But my attraction to them is more Emotional. I love the way they are emotionally..its their depth and understanding!

THAT IS sexy x

But..

I also agree with you that they are awkward. I've got to know 3 in the last 7yrs.

2 of them recently in this dating site. And i don't mean to judge but all 3 of them are the Same!

Friendly, Flirty, Sexy, Emotional, Awkward.

But that does not mean that Every Pisces man in the same just because of those three!

click to expand

I meant A dating site!

Not here on dxp !

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

click to expand

Why you want to get involved with this creep is beyond me. He's already disrepected you and you want to sign up for more.

Posted by Tsunamy

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Tsunamy

Pisces men are so awkward. Very handsome but not sexy lol.

I find them handsome And sexy. But my attraction to them is more Emotional. I love the way they are emotionally..its their depth and understanding!

THAT IS sexy x

But..

I also agree with you that they are awkward. I've got to know 3 in the last 7yrs.

2 of them recently in this dating site. And i don't mean to judge but all 3 of them are the Same!

Friendly, Flirty, Sexy, Emotional, Awkward.

But that does not mean that Every Pisces man in the same just because of those three!

Yeah, I don't get them at all. So empathetic and sweet, yet there's like a really thick astronaut grade bubble defense system around them that's hard to penetrate and is an alternate reality they live in. What do they even see through those large sparkly eyes. Sometimes I look at one and I'm like, where are you right now 😂

click to expand

Yes! The one I fell in love with opened up to me ..slowly..without me saying or doing a thing. I think its kind of the same with fish.

If you stay still while standing in the sea, fish will swim around you and stay.

But make any sudden movements and they're Gone! Swam off to their own world again.

I think the other thing with them is to listen to what they say to you, and just join them in their world. Its fascinating x

Once he let me in he shared his world with me and I saw what he saw. And I loved it.

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

It’d turn me off the jumping straight into the sex talk...it’s kind of obvious what he’s after and he’s not using any imagination

Sadly it’s what a lot of blokes do....unoriginal and very predictable

I’d tell him to hold off with the sex talk until you know more about each other...

Thank u x

This is what I've been trying to do.

Just chat to him and get a date with him. He did say to meet half-way which is good, lets just hope its not a meet up in a hotel!!!

I mean like most people, I like sex but I really like long-term relationships!

So yeah..today I've sent him a photo of me with clothes on but a low cut top. That's all he's getting!

I'm going to suggest a drink and chat.

Why you want to get involved with this creep is beyond me. He's already disrepected you and you want to sign up for more.

click to expand

Oh its not that I want to get involved.

Its more that I liked him for the first few days until he began getting sexual. It was a bit too fast for me.

If men get sexual fast or talk about sex quickly that’s what they want sex. That’s their focus. If they are more respectful, and don’t act like that they are actually interested in you. It doesn’t mean they don’t want sex, but they understand it’s part of a relationship.

That has been my experience in dating and/or online dating in the last few years after my long term marriage ended. If you’re looking for sex, it’s pretty easy to get obviously. If you are looking for more, look for respect.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by hydorah

Binding with someone over the internet is almost impossible, so you'll get mostly sexual propositions on dating sites. It takes time to know someone.

Yeah I know. I hate dating sites!

I'm just so bored of being single.

And being a single mum is hard.

I just thought I'd have a look online. Eg window shop and if I like the look of a guy then I'll contact him.

I much prefer the excitement of meeting in person. Then chatting and actually seeing and hearing that person and exchange phone numbers etc.

click to expand

You can't judge someone from a photo. Not just because they pick the photos where they look best, but the personality is more important than what they look like or what they say, even during a chat

Posted by pooface222

Posted by MyStarsShine

“He told me himself..

I’m looking for a long term, real love, honesty, suport and respect”

A friend who’d slept with a lot of men tells me “men will do anything and say anything to

get sex” 🥴

She also said that some men would shag anything with a pulse wearing a skirt 😂.

Harsh, but maybe elements of truth in it?

She had a lot of experience with men and said she’d often slept with more in a week than I had in total 😬

Yup!

That's what I thought when he started saying sexual things after 3 days.

He seemed all interested in me on the chat thing on the dating site.

Eg asking me how much custody I have of my child. How much free time do I have?

Am I ready to date?

Why am I am a dating site?

What do I want?

So I told him I want a relationship.

2 days later we are on WhatsApp and chatting. 1 or 2 days into WhatsApp chat, he starts getting very flirty then sexual.

So I thought "Oh FFS not another tw*t pretending to be decent in order t get sex."

click to expand

Exactly

Obvious with a capital O

Twat with a capital T

Lol

Posted by Krabss

Posted by hydorah

Binding with someone over the internet is almost impossible, so you'll get mostly sexual propositions on dating sites. It takes time to know someone.

You should know that 😂😂😂

Sorry!

click to expand

If I need some advice from women that like to have paid sexual intercourse with farm animals in a sordid mud littered hangar while surrounded by slavic men watching the spectacle with a mix of disgust and bestial excitement, if I need this kind of expertise, I'll let you know

Posted by hydorah

Posted by Krabss

Posted by hydorah

Binding with someone over the internet is almost impossible, so you'll get mostly sexual propositions on dating sites. It takes time to know someone.

You should know that 😂😂😂

Sorry!

If I need some advice from women that like to have paid sexual intercourse with farm animals in a sordid mud littered hangar while surrounded by slavic men watching the spectacle with a mix of disgust and bestial excitement, if I need this kind of expertise, I'll let you know

click to expand

Awww there’s no need to be embarrassed.

Exchanging dried fruit for nudes is a pretty good trade. Creative 😂

Posted by pooface222

Is it normal for a guy you just met online a few days ago to start flirting with you, but after a Day of light (non-sexual), flirting and calling me beautiful, starts telling me he's looking forward to some 'private workouts.'...

Eww. Regardless of your profession, still ew. Maybe I'm from a different school of thought, but this and everything else you mentioned in the OP isn't flirting. It's lazy verbal diarrhea.

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Aquarelle

I have no experience with online dating......What I would do, is state clearly that I am looking for a serious relationship. The ones that run away or go silent are the ones you have to avoid.

He told me himself..

I’m looking for a long term, real love, honesty, suport and respect!"

So I told him I want the same.

So he is either just saying that to get sex.

Or..

That's his style of flirting to get a relationship, so the idea is to not sleep with him, and build a relationship with him.

Then all that sexual stuff comes later.

click to expand

If he indeed wanted what he claims he would have approached this very differently. I mean the man wants to know what makes you cum and if you can deep throat, but probably doesn't even know what your favourite book, movie or meal is. How you like to spend your time...meh.

Posted by ATGR

Any update @pooface222?

Nope.

I stopped talking to him after he sent me a dick pic 🤢

He wanted a photo of me. So i sent him one. He got annoyed when I it wasnt MORE as he wanted.

I then asked him to send me a picture of himself right now how he looks at work. So he s2nt me one in his smart suit.

I think he got embarrassed that he sent me a photo of his dick, while expecting a naked photo of me but NOT receiving one.

I mean jeez..i never asked him for any naked shots so. !?

I just ghosted his pointless ass!

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by pooface222

Is it normal for a guy you just met online a few days ago to start flirting with you, but after a Day of light (non-sexual), flirting and calling me beautiful, starts telling me he's looking forward to some 'private workouts.'...

Eww. Regardless of your profession, still ew. Maybe I'm from a different school of thought, but this and everything else you mentioned in the OP isn't flirting. It's lazy verbal diarrhea.

click to expand

Exactly ! That's what i thought..Eew!

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Aquarelle

I have no experience with online dating......What I would do, is state clearly that I am looking for a serious relationship. The ones that run away or go silent are the ones you have to avoid.

He told me himself..

I’m looking for a long term, real love, honesty, suport and respect!"

So I told him I want the same.

So he is either just saying that to get sex.

Or..

That's his style of flirting to get a relationship, so the idea is to not sleep with him, and build a relationship with him.

Then all that sexual stuff comes later.

If he indeed wanted what he claims he would have approached this very differently. I mean the man wants to know what makes you cum and if you can deep throat, but probably doesn't even know what your favourite book, movie or meal is. How you like to spend your time...meh.

click to expand

Exactly yup!

I tried getting him into normal chats with him but he always managed to turn it into sex!

Bleurgh! 🤢

Boring too!

He’s looking for a conquest

Posted by Moloko_vellocet

He’s looking for a conquest

Lol.

Well that is Not me!