friends? please help!!!
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by clear love on Friday, August 24, 2007 and has 7 replies.
so I'm in love with the most amazing guy in the whole world....... but I'm pretty sure he's gay...........so all I want is to be his friend, but that's not working because he knoes how much I like him so when I'm friendly to him it looks like I want more, it's like if you know that someone likes you and then all the suden they start acting friendly and talking to you alot, you don't think oh, they just want to be my friend, you think there after smething more. so I need a way to let him know that I only want to be friends so he doen't have to worry about being to friendly and leading me on. do you have any sugestions? I wrote a letter to him but I didn't send it because It might make things worse because we aren't that close so it may seem out of place
Question:
Since you're in love, do you really want more .. but, will settle for friendship instead?
Since you're in love, do you really want more .. but, will settle for friendship instead?
"I want is to be his friend, but that's not working because he knoes how much I like him"
He already KNOWS ....
He already KNOWS ....
ah... thanks you all so much
the advice really helps alot and I agree I need to send him a message to get rid of this awkwardness and the preshure off us both, I just don't know what exactly to say........my letter is well to long and descriptive. it also in a way I lets things go to far in some parts so it may be to much of a love letter ensted of just geting to the point that I just want to be friends......even though I still like him like him, I can't change how I feel over night, and i except the fact he's gay and know I want to be friends but I still have feelings for him it's hard to explain, I want to be friends and I except that and am good with it but I still have feelings..... so anyone have any ideas of what exactly to say to him to let him know I want to be friends with out looking wierd?
thanks so much
-bri
the advice really helps alot and I agree I need to send him a message to get rid of this awkwardness and the preshure off us both, I just don't know what exactly to say........my letter is well to long and descriptive. it also in a way I lets things go to far in some parts so it may be to much of a love letter ensted of just geting to the point that I just want to be friends......even though I still like him like him, I can't change how I feel over night, and i except the fact he's gay and know I want to be friends but I still have feelings for him it's hard to explain, I want to be friends and I except that and am good with it but I still have feelings..... so anyone have any ideas of what exactly to say to him to let him know I want to be friends with out looking wierd?thanks so much
-bri
"it may be to much of a love letter ensted of just geting to the point that I just want to be friends......even though I still like him like him, I can't change how I feel over night"
"I want to be friends but I still have feelings for him it's hard to explain, I want to be friends and I except that and am good with it but I still have feelings."
Sending him that letter is a mistake .. if you can't help yourself in here, with people who aren't even the object of your affection, then how do you propose to have any self-control over your feelings in a letter to him?
However, I suspect you'll do it anyway, simply because somebody advised you not to instead of putting any reasonable thought into exactly why it would be a mistake. Embarassment and humiliation seems to be what people want to do to themselves .. rarely is there any thought put into the prevention of this condition.
"I want to be friends but I still have feelings for him it's hard to explain, I want to be friends and I except that and am good with it but I still have feelings."
Sending him that letter is a mistake .. if you can't help yourself in here, with people who aren't even the object of your affection, then how do you propose to have any self-control over your feelings in a letter to him?
However, I suspect you'll do it anyway, simply because somebody advised you not to instead of putting any reasonable thought into exactly why it would be a mistake. Embarassment and humiliation seems to be what people want to do to themselves .. rarely is there any thought put into the prevention of this condition.
Do you spend time with him? Do you work with him or may just go to places where he is? If he is your friend, you will be able to sit down with him and just tell him. Tell him that you really like being around him and that you hope he doesn't get the wrong idea. That you understand he is gay (if he is) But you really enjoy his friendship and that you have fun with him. Ask him how he feels about that?
Hope it works out or you...
Hope it works out or you...
hi again well actually I didn't send him my letter, but I did send him something that pretty much said I wanted to let him know upfront what I was thinking because things felt awkward and that I just wanted him to know I just want to be friends.....
he replyed to my message and said that I was so sweet and such a nice girl so he was really flaterd, but he didn't want to hurt my feelings and of course he wants to be my friend, there's no question in his mind
so let's see..... umm... my parents own a restaurant and he worked there, wich brings me to my seconed thing. he's moving to boston to go to collage on the 30th so I was thinking about sending him a comment on my space saying to have a good day on his big move....is that pushing things or should I maybe back off just alittle and wait to talk to him for a while?
well actually I didn't send him my letter, but I did send him something that pretty much said I wanted to let him know upfront what I was thinking because things felt awkward and that I just wanted him to know I just want to be friends..... he replyed to my message and said that I was so sweet and such a nice girl so he was really flaterd, but he didn't want to hurt my feelings and of course he wants to be my friend, there's no question in his mind
so let's see..... umm... my parents own a restaurant and he worked there, wich brings me to my seconed thing. he's moving to boston to go to collage on the 30th so I was thinking about sending him a comment on my space saying to have a good day on his big move....is that pushing things or should I maybe back off just alittle and wait to talk to him for a while?
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