Getting contact again

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh
Went on a date with a friend from highschool. Dont know how to take things slow. Wasnt getting the point until "were on two different pages im backing off its not going to work out" text. Now she doesnt want to talk to me
How do I re gain contact?
Because want to make this work

Tell her you respect her decision, and hope you can reconnect at another time. Then let her have her space. Show that you respect her boundaries and maybe she will come around eventually, unless she really just isnt interested. But its not happening right now.

click to expand

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

What are you doing that's lovey dovey? Are you being too handsy? Are you expressing feelings too soon? You said this has happened multiple times, what are you doing to break this pattern?

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Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

What are you doing that's lovey dovey? Are you being too handsy? Are you expressing feelings too soon? You said this has happened multiple times, what are you doing to break this pattern?
click to expand

Okay so like I really havent had a date before this since like 2012 and it ended the same.
Probably expressing feelings too soon I guess. I was being very huggy.
Sat we went to a friends house watched a movie, cuddled there. She needed to either stay at my house or there. I offered mine. Told me to keep it pg 13. So thats what happened
Sun was actual date thru nature park. Last phone convo she said she enjoyed nature park nothing else
(Btw edited my last post a little) just in case if you didnt see it
click to expand

Why did she need some where to stay? Were you all talking a month, and you just had your first date? It sounds like she may have felt you were getting attached to quick. Which is why I am trying to understand why she couldn't go home.

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Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

What are you doing that's lovey dovey? Are you being too handsy? Are you expressing feelings too soon? You said this has happened multiple times, what are you doing to break this pattern?
click to expand

Okay so like I really havent had a date before this since like 2012 and it ended the same.
Probably expressing feelings too soon I guess. I was being very huggy.
Sat we went to a friends house watched a movie, cuddled there. She needed to either stay at my house or there. I offered mine. Told me to keep it pg 13. So thats what happened
Sun was actual date thru nature park. Last phone convo she said she enjoyed nature park nothing else
(Btw edited my last post a little) just in case if you didnt see it
click to expand

Why did she need some where to stay? Were you all talking a month, and you just had your first date? It sounds like she may have felt you were getting attached to quick. Which is why I am trying to understand why she couldn't go home.

Yes she has a kid and a busy schedule
She lived a hour away it was late. It was either she stayed at the friends house, mine or someone take her home. Her car has been down for a month or two
I kinda was thinking about litterly everything and even asked her if she was allergic to latex. She told me she takes things as they go.
click to expand

Hold on. You said she asked to keep it PG-13. But this implies sex either happened or you were trying to get it to happen. Keep things uncomplicated and take your date home until you're at the level where she doesn't have to ask, "where am I sleeping tonight?" Sounds like you caught feelings before you even knew each other at all.

click to expand

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh

Posted by GoodBunny

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

What are you doing that's lovey dovey? Are you being too handsy? Are you expressing feelings too soon? You said this has happened multiple times, what are you doing to break this pattern?
click to expand

Okay so like I really havent had a date before this since like 2012 and it ended the same.
Probably expressing feelings too soon I guess. I was being very huggy.
Sat we went to a friends house watched a movie, cuddled there. She needed to either stay at my house or there. I offered mine. Told me to keep it pg 13. So thats what happened
Sun was actual date thru nature park. Last phone convo she said she enjoyed nature park nothing else
(Btw edited my last post a little) just in case if you didnt see it
click to expand

Why did she need some where to stay? Were you all talking a month, and you just had your first date? It sounds like she may have felt you were getting attached to quick. Which is why I am trying to understand why she couldn't go home.

Yes she has a kid and a busy schedule
She lived a hour away it was late. It was either she stayed at the friends house, mine or someone take her home. Her car has been down for a month or two
I kinda was thinking about litterly everything and even asked her if she was allergic to latex. She told me she takes things as they go.
click to expand

Hold on. You said she asked to keep it PG-13. But this implies sex either happened or you were trying to get it to happen. Keep things uncomplicated and take your date home until you're at the level where she doesn't have to ask, "where am I sleeping tonight?" Sounds like you caught feelings before you even knew each other at all.
click to expand

I wasnt trying tp get it to hapoen. I wasnt sure what to expect. I was excited about date and told both parents. Dad was like "you gonna get some?" so that revolved in my head. I didnt know what to expect so I asked about latex
Also she seemed afraid of me cheating on her due to some crazy shit that i was indirectly involved in thru highschool and a little after that
Probably should stick to dating appd
click to expand

Sounds like this may just be a bad match. Next time buy both latex and non-latex condoms and wait to ask about allergies until you have the green light. Also, if she already has trust issues towards you its impossible to build anything with her any way.

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Posted by Scotteh
Turns out I did try to call her I think it was Monday.
She answered and pretty much the above is true.
Right then I took her off social media, deleted her number because thats how I get over people. No sight no contact seems to work for me.
I put myself on facebook dating but no real luck so far
I keep on getting the urge to try to add her back from time to time. Probably shouldn't

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
We were on the phone. Started as a emotional dump as shes been stressed lately. Then convo seemed to get serious about she wants to take things slow (i think i cant even remember from the emtional dump part)
The word girlfriend slipped out of my mouth.
The next morning I get a text she that were on two pages, shes not ready for that. Youre disrespecting my boundaries.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. She wants to stay in the get to know you stage? Absolutely fine with me. Lets talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
We were on the phone. Started as a emotional dump as shes been stressed lately. Then convo seemed to get serious about she wants to take things slow (i think i cant even remember from the emtional dump part)
The word girlfriend slipped out of my mouth.
The next morning I get a text she that were on two pages, shes not ready for that. Youre disrespecting my boundaries.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. She wants to stay in the get to know you stage? Absolutely fine with me. Lets talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

men fall in love quicker than women.. you definitely should dial it back and let her worry about titles and "where this is going" etc. Trust me, she'll bring it up when she's ready.
This is just the classic, you're way more into me than i'm into you scenario.
Show interest, mirror what she does. If you advancing and she's not reciprocating then back off. Because if you don't, you going to run into "I don't think he's into me."
There's a fine line. As far as the chick from high school, full no-contact. Deleting her is a bit petty.. you just needed to back off and allow her to miss you. <-- at the same time move on though as if she is not returning. That's probably the only way to handle these scenarios.

click to expand

Posted by LuckyLibra7

Posted by Scotteh
The issue is me. I wasnt seeing it. We were talking most of the month of october. We had our first date last week. I felt lovie dobie. She felt like she was just getting to know me. She has said this a couple times already. I was not ignoring it even though it seems like I was. It for sure isnt like im not listening.
We were on the phone. Started as a emotional dump as shes been stressed lately. Then convo seemed to get serious about she wants to take things slow (i think i cant even remember from the emtional dump part)
The word girlfriend slipped out of my mouth.
The next morning I get a text she that were on two pages, shes not ready for that. Youre disrespecting my boundaries.
Now im getting the point after seeing that. Now I want to talk about it. She wants to stay in the get to know you stage? Absolutely fine with me. Lets talk about it. It is now too late though.
This has happened multiple times with me. Also im 34.
Is there something wrong with me or do I just fall easier than others and I just need to find someone that does the same?

men fall in love quicker than women.. you definitely should dial it back and let her worry about titles and "where this is going" etc. Trust me, she'll bring it up when she's ready.
This is just the classic, you're way more into me than i'm into you scenario.
Show interest, mirror what she does. If you advancing and she's not reciprocating then back off. Because if you don't, you going to run into "I don't think he's into me."
There's a fine line. As far as the chick from high school, full no-contact. Deleting her is a bit petty.. you just needed to back off and allow her to miss you. <-- at the same time move on though as if she is not returning. That's probably the only way to handle these scenarios.

click to expand