How did you know?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Skykomish on Tuesday, March 1, 2011 and has 4 replies.
So I know most everyone on dxp isn't married, or is divorced. Its pretty much dominated by single folk. But for those that ARE, how did you know he was the right one? What did you base it on?
I've asked this elsewhere.. and it seems like some people have the WEIRDEST reasons for marrying someone. (FE, one person said she looked across the room at her husband-to-be and she just had a feeling. One said they were both thinking that they love the name 'James' and didn't know it, then they said to each other that they did, well now their first son is named James) I wonder if those marriages last. Seems highly illogical. But then, I'm not married. I don't know what it SHOULD be based on.
Course, then again, my belief system has two 'marriage' alternatives. A year and a day, and eternity, throughout multiple lifetimes. Maybe I need to stick with the first one? This is very confusing.
I've asked this elsewhere.. and it seems like some people have the WEIRDEST reasons for marrying someone. (FE, one person said she looked across the room at her husband-to-be and she just had a feeling. One said they were both thinking that they love the name 'James' and didn't know it, then they said to each other that they did, well now their first son is named James) I wonder if those marriages last. Seems highly illogical. But then, I'm not married. I don't know what it SHOULD be based on.
Course, then again, my belief system has two 'marriage' alternatives. A year and a day, and eternity, throughout multiple lifetimes. Maybe I need to stick with the first one? This is very confusing.
From personal experience, I know if he's right based on how compatible we are. We don't necessarily have to have heaps of things in common, but some similar interests helps, at the same time being different to each other is also very good in the sense that they can introduce you to new things in life and vice versa. What he wants out of life and in the future etc shouldn't be so different to what you want in your future, that helps a lot. I believe communication is the key to a successful relationship and you have to be able to go through not just good times but bad times together as well, I like to know how well he can handle the bad times and his attitude in life about things etc... it's certainly partnership/teamwork- which you need otherwise you are pretty much the only person in the relationship. I tend to look at how the guy is at home and all with his family etc, it helps when it comes to knowing how he'd treat his wife and future kids etc, all those qualities a person should have to keep a family together rather than fall apart is important when it comes to embarking on a marriage with someone. I'm not one of those people who blindly loves and blindly marries because to make a marriage last it takes a strong person with good qualities, they know it's serious business and therefore will take it seriously and enter it after doing some thinking because it's not just about feeling it and you just know etc, that may change some day, logic goes a long way than just following your heart alone, I think a good mix of logic and heart should be enough to figure out if someone is the right one for you.
There's knowing on a spiritual/ESP level & then there's knowing b/c compatibility-wise, you've been able to maintain a well-groomed relationship with someone.
Some people claim that they just "knew" when they 1st saw/officially met that person. Others don't "know" until much later. Although I don't believe in love at 1st sight, I do believe that you can somehow just "know" that someone will eventually play a major/important role in your life & future.
1 of my best friends says that she knew her fiance was her soulmate since technically they were supposed to have met (but didn't) 3 times. In other words, they crossed paths when they were kids & didn't even know it, as well as 2 other times. After listening to her, of course it sounds like it was their "destiny" to finally meet eachother & crossing paths but so many times
I don't believe that a person is only granted ONE soulmate their entire lifetime. We have many; each 1 is a good fit for us during certain ages & during certain times in our lives (Whose right for you at 18 might not be right for you at 35; whose right for you at 35 might not have even sparked your interest at 55)
I "know" when I have a tremendous need to let go of all selfishness; I feel an immense need to be extremely loyal & exhibit unconditional love for another person. Most people either get that feeling with family members or with their children, so when you start feeling that unshakeable (literally) love for someone whom you've known for 1/8 of your life (or just met 1 year ago), that's when you know that there's a REASON for those intense feelings.
Some people claim that they just "knew" when they 1st saw/officially met that person. Others don't "know" until much later. Although I don't believe in love at 1st sight, I do believe that you can somehow just "know" that someone will eventually play a major/important role in your life & future.
1 of my best friends says that she knew her fiance was her soulmate since technically they were supposed to have met (but didn't) 3 times. In other words, they crossed paths when they were kids & didn't even know it, as well as 2 other times. After listening to her, of course it sounds like it was their "destiny" to finally meet eachother & crossing paths but so many times
I don't believe that a person is only granted ONE soulmate their entire lifetime. We have many; each 1 is a good fit for us during certain ages & during certain times in our lives (Whose right for you at 18 might not be right for you at 35; whose right for you at 35 might not have even sparked your interest at 55)
I "know" when I have a tremendous need to let go of all selfishness; I feel an immense need to be extremely loyal & exhibit unconditional love for another person. Most people either get that feeling with family members or with their children, so when you start feeling that unshakeable (literally) love for someone whom you've known for 1/8 of your life (or just met 1 year ago), that's when you know that there's a REASON for those intense feelings.
I don't really know what happened between my husband and me. It was like the relationship had a life of its own and we were along for the ride. It was obvious when it was time for us to date, when it was time to move in, when it was time to get married. There was an easy and natural flow to it.
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