How do you know if there's a genuine interest or if the person is looking for a rebound?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by whatisthisallabout on Thursday, January 19, 2017 and has 62 replies.
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Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
Thanks in advance!
Ewwww to any guy that pushes for sex on the first date
So obvious
So obvious
Posted by whatisthisallaboutYou don't know. So stay detached and minimize your expectations. Go with the flow and constantly re-evaluate as you gather information.
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
Aka: don't be a silly bitch that falls into love too quickly.
Posted by EvoxxxscorpioThanks!Posted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
It is def a turn off when someoen pushes for sex on the first date =.=
Posted by BuffaloBills28You must be a geminiPosted by EvoxxxscorpioTrue. But somebody can be very sexual. Like, I'd push for sex on the first date without a doubt.. But I'd also wouldn't leave her after.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
Posted by aquarius_beautySo how much time would you say that they should have been single/not in a serious relationship before you'd consider the person is "safe" to date?
When they tell you they just became available in the market
Posted by ChoXtsyThese are all great points!
If he still has pictures of his ex up.
Lots of sexual talk
If the relationship ended less than 6 months ago
I had a bad experience with someone who still had his ex gf's photo on his desk... should not have been surprised lol
Posted by BuffaloBills28No excuse.Posted by MyStarsShine8th house sun. It's not my fault. lol.
Ewwww to any guy that pushes for sex on the first date
So obviousclick to expand
Posted by BuffaloBills28How if it is a guy who has had long-term relationships, but has been having flings for the past year or 2?
How has his past been like? .. does he have the rep of being in long relationships, or only involved with small stuff..
Posted by MyStarsShineyea, I hate that and I think it's very animal of them.
Ewwww to any guy that pushes for sex on the first date
So obvious
Posted by LadyNeptuneI think trying to stay detached and minimizing expectations are good ones.Posted by whatisthisallaboutYou don't know. So stay detached and minimize your expectations. Go with the flow and constantly re-evaluate as you gather information.
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
Aka: don't be a silly bitch that falls into love too quickly.click to expand
I used to fall in love very quickly. I am doing better now LOL
Posted by littlenanobyteI avoid those types, but I was screwed over by a Virgo guy who appeared to be very sweet and down-to-earth
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him
Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
Posted by EvoxxxscorpioWhat kinds of efforts you have made to win the other person's heart, or what kind of efforts the other person has put into to win your heart? Any examples?
Make his ass work if you want the real thing cause if he's investing he's willing to risk it.
(Just want to make sure I won't end up demanding something unrealistic :p)
Posted by BuffaloBills28Based on observing my gem guy friends... I noticed that some of them became more interested in the person after sex.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSome would say so. lol. How did you know?Posted by BuffaloBills28You must be a geminiPosted by EvoxxxscorpioTrue. But somebody can be very sexual. Like, I'd push for sex on the first date without a doubt.. But I'd also wouldn't leave her after.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
Posted by littlenanobyteI like this one. I guess anyone who's too busy for me is too busy for me
Other than fuck-boy goggles, I would say availability. Everyone can get busy, but fuckboys are unapologetically unavailable on a constant basis for no real reason.
Posted by BuffaloBills28hahaha. I guess I need to learn to have a good timePosted by whatisthisallaboutIn that case, go to a store, buy some whip cream, enjoy yourself, and have hell of a time with your friend. Don't stress about the what if's, and the woulda, coulda's, you only live once. Get a lot of whip cream. But hey, that's just me.Posted by BuffaloBills28How if it is a guy who has had long-term relationships, but has been having flings for the past year or 2?
How has his past been like? .. does he have the rep of being in long relationships, or only involved with small stuff..click to expand
Posted by tizianiThis is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractive
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.
Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
Posted by EvoxxxscorpioI will try that. Thanks!Posted by whatisthisallaboutlol make him work 70 him 30 on youPosted by EvoxxxscorpioWhat kinds of efforts you have made to win the other person's heart, or what kind of efforts the other person has put into to win your heart? Any examples?
Make his ass work if you want the real thing cause if he's investing he's willing to risk it.
(Just want to make sure I won't end up demanding something unrealistic :p)click to expand
Posted by aquarius_beautyThanks! BTW, would it be a red flag if the person has broken up for a while but still talks to their most recnet ex on a regular basis?Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'm going to advice you based on the advice I was given, and that I was thankful for.Posted by aquarius_beautySo how much time would you say that they should have been single/not in a serious relationship before you'd consider the person is "safe" to date?
When they tell you they just became available in the market
'For every year you were with someone, give yourself one month of single solitude'click to expand
Posted by BuffaloBills28Yea, but I have only noticed gem guys and scorpio guys think like this... oh well, I prob shouldn't overgeneralizePosted by whatisthisallaboutHmmmm. I like to think I'm the same way. Sex is a powerful thing.The faster two people do it, the faster the two people get closer. It's physics. lollll. In all seriousness though, yeah, it's how I am pretty much. You like them, they like you, why wait?..Posted by BuffaloBills28Based on observing my gem guy friends... I noticed that some of them became more interested in the person after sex.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSome would say so. lol. How did you know?Posted by BuffaloBills28You must be a geminiPosted by EvoxxxscorpioTrue. But somebody can be very sexual. Like, I'd push for sex on the first date without a doubt.. But I'd also wouldn't leave her after.Posted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
. I do notice other signs tend to judge the girl if they "got" her right away.Posted by Capri-sunWow, this is very good! I was nodding the whole time reading through your list!!!!
Rebound
- "I'm lonely"
- "I'm looking for someone to complete me"
- constantly talking about ex
- length of last relationship should correlate with length of time single up to 1 year. (Dated for 6 months, should be single for min. of 3 months, dated for 2 years, should be single for 1 year, etc.)
- "let's be friends"
- "I'm not looking for anything serious", "I'm not ready for a relationship" "I can't make any guarantees"
- suggesting you go to his place or your place the 1st night
- doesn't take you out on dates
- asking sex related questions
Genuine
- is concerned/ asks about your day
- puts forth effort
- asks questions/ has an interest in getting to know you
- spends quality time with you
- no bitterness, anger, hatred, sadness when talking about past relationships
- consistent communication
Posted by GetMistedSee? A scorpioPosted by EvoxxxscorpiobullshitPosted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
Posted by aquarius_beautyThat's what I thought too. Thank youPosted by whatisthisallaboutYes. I would see that as a potential red flag. If there was no wait time between his breakup and contact with his ex, he could still have lingering feelings. I would just be very careful.Posted by aquarius_beautyThanks! BTW, would it be a red flag if the person has broken up for a while but still talks to their most recnet ex on a regular basis?Posted by whatisthisallaboutI'm going to advice you based on the advice I was given, and that I was thankful for.Posted by aquarius_beautySo how much time would you say that they should have been single/not in a serious relationship before you'd consider the person is "safe" to date?
When they tell you they just became available in the market
'For every year you were with someone, give yourself one month of single solitude'click to expand
Posted by tizianiYea, I actually had an ex bf who only wanted sex every other month... I didn't feel sexy at all in front of himPosted by whatisthisallaboutLOL maybe so, but those are exactly the kind of women (or men, if you're a woman) that you want to avoid unless you like headaches.Posted by tizianiThis is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractive
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.
Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
And back then when I would have paid for hugs, I think that was around 2011-ish? I'm pretty sure I would walk around and most people could smell the desperation for comfort all over me. I was mostly shunned.
In my twenties, whenever I had money I'd never been as openly pursued by women as when I've been dead broke. Weird phenomenon.
Anyway I really don't think sex says much about a person's long term interest. You may not want to be used for sex only, but you also don't want to wind up with someone who's incapable of making you feel sexually attractive.click to expand
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Usually a big indicator is "I just got out of a relationship."
They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."
All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."
All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
Posted by starwarsit's hard to tell... btw, a virgo guy broke my heart in the past when he ended up getting back together with his ex when we were dating and did not tell me for another 6 months... i don't think i can ever seen thru a virgo
cringy af.
you'd know it
Posted by rockyroadicecreamThis is very true. I am guilty of playing therapist in the past... was burnt really badly one time by a virgo.
Usually a big indicator is "I just got out of a relationship."
They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."
All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
I agree it is very selfish of people to just use another person to get over their ex.
Posted by tizianiI don't think so but you just scared the crap out of me cuz my FB profile picture is a squirrel... I was like wth, are you my FB friend? But then I realized it's not possiblePosted by whatisthisallaboutAlso, is that you? Scorpio squirrel?Posted by tizianiYea, I actually had an ex bf who only wanted sex every other month... I didn't feel sexy at all in front of himPosted by whatisthisallaboutLOL maybe so, but those are exactly the kind of women (or men, if you're a woman) that you want to avoid unless you like headaches.Posted by tizianiThis is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractive
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.
Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
And back then when I would have paid for hugs, I think that was around 2011-ish? I'm pretty sure I would walk around and most people could smell the desperation for comfort all over me. I was mostly shunned.
In my twenties, whenever I had money I'd never been as openly pursued by women as when I've been dead broke. Weird phenomenon.
Anyway I really don't think sex says much about a person's long term interest. You may not want to be used for sex only, but you also don't want to wind up with someone who's incapable of making you feel sexually attractive.click to expand
Posted by Evoxxxscorpioare you? hehe
But I really just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for the right person.
Posted by Capri-sunSo true.
Rebound
- "I'm lonely"
- "I'm looking for someone to complete me"
- constantly talking about ex
- length of last relationship should correlate with length of time single up to 1 year. (Dated for 6 months, should be single for min. of 3 months, dated for 2 years, should be single for 1 year, etc.)
- "let's be friends"
- "I'm not looking for anything serious", "I'm not ready for a relationship" "I can't make any guarantees"
- suggesting you go to his place or your place the 1st night
- doesn't take you out on dates
- asking sex related questions
Genuine
- is concerned/ asks about your day
- puts forth effort
- asks questions/ has an interest in getting to know you
- spends quality time with you
- no bitterness, anger, hatred, sadness when talking about past relationships
- consistent communication
Posted by starwarsThat's ok. It's been 2 years now... thanks though.Posted by whatisthisallaboutsorry you had to deal with this trash sign, feel free to visit the virgo board and post about how a dick of a virgo he was.Posted by starwarsit's hard to tell... btw, a virgo guy broke my heart in the past when he ended up getting back together with his ex when we were dating and did not tell me for another 6 months... i don't think i can ever seen thru a virgo
cringy af.
you'd know it
I think we're very transparent actually.click to expand
Posted by Evoxxxscorpiohahahah. i hope you won't break some innocent hearts out there.Posted by whatisthisallaboutI swear ?Posted by Evoxxxscorpioare you? hehe
But I really just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for the right person.click to expand
Posted by Evoxxxscorpioshush! you are not allowed to date!! TOO SOON!!!Posted by whatisthisallaboutlol that was two weeks ago ?Posted by Evoxxxscorpioare you? hehe
But I really just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for the right person.click to expand
Posted by leowwwThese are all good tooPosted by whatisthisallaboutSigns... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
You're most likely his little secret / reboundclick to expand
Posted by PVandJellyuh oh... got to watch out for that one.Posted by whatisthisallaboutIf he's still talking about his ex, or any other woman in general
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio+1Posted by leowwwIf he's hiding you from his friends and family lolPosted by whatisthisallaboutSigns... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
You're most likely his little secret / reboundclick to expand
I have witnessed this happen with one of my close friends. We all have met him but she never met any of his friends or family. not even one.
Posted by starwarsLOL
I totally despise the wannabe scorpios who play and pretend to be moody assholes as if its attractive then you be like whats good mofo and he make up some emo stories and be like my ex cheated on me
ofc she did I would too
Posted by leowwwwhen I am not into the guy, I don't introduce him to my circle either...Posted by EvoxxxscorpioWell..Posted by leowwwIf he's hiding you from his friends and family lolPosted by whatisthisallaboutSigns... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
You're most likely his little secret / rebound
I'm discreet so I won't yell from the rooftop when I'm seeing someone at first... I will eventually
so...if I go out of my way to hide .... Eh it's not looking good.
& vice versa.click to expand
Posted by littlenanobyteI love the way some people born under the zodiac Gemini explain things.
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him
Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
Posted by Evoxxxscorpioawwww, such an overly protective dadPosted by whatisthisallaboutlol if I ever had a kid I wouldn't wanna have a daughter cause I've seen em all I might end up in jail lolPosted by Evoxxxscorpio+1Posted by leowwwIf he's hiding you from his friends and family lolPosted by whatisthisallaboutSigns... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!
You're most likely his little secret / rebound
I have witnessed this happen with one of my close friends. We all have met him but she never met any of his friends or family. not even one.click to expand
Posted by tizianiI think I got that.But I'm not sure if I understood it right. I'd love your elaboration on this Tiz.
It's always going to be a selfish decision to get into a relationship, no matter which way you slice it.
Posted by tizianiLol!! Now you only made me more curious.Posted by TeenaI think if I tried to elaborate on it, it would just sound pedantic. I was thinking out loud lolPosted by tizianiI think I got that.But I'm not sure if I understood it right. I'd love your elaboration on this Tiz.
It's always going to be a selfish decision to get into a relationship, no matter which way you slice it.click to expand
Please do it ?
Posted by whatisthisallaboutVirgo male/Gemini female hardly makes the cut in the long runPosted by littlenanobyteI avoid those types, but I was screwed over by a Virgo guy who appeared to be very sweet and down-to-earth
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him
Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-knowclick to expand
Posted by whatisthisallaboutThat's so shallow... I don't like Gemini males as a romantic interest. From a Taurus' pov they're too flaky, uncommitted and childish.
Based on observing my gem guy friends... I noticed that some of them became more interested in the person after sex.
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Thanks! BTW, would it be a red flag if the person has broken up for a while but still talks to their most recnet ex on a regular basis?
) Yes Posted by whatisthisallaboutWas it a Virgo male?Posted by tizianiYea, I actually had an ex bf who only wanted sex every other month... I didn't feel sexy at all in front of himPosted by whatisthisallaboutLOL maybe so, but those are exactly the kind of women (or men, if you're a woman) that you want to avoid unless you like headaches.Posted by tizianiThis is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractive
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.
Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
And back then when I would have paid for hugs, I think that was around 2011-ish? I'm pretty sure I would walk around and most people could smell the desperation for comfort all over me. I was mostly shunned.
In my twenties, whenever I had money I'd never been as openly pursued by women as when I've been dead broke. Weird phenomenon.
Anyway I really don't think sex says much about a person's long term interest. You may not want to be used for sex only, but you also don't want to wind up with someone who's incapable of making you feel sexually attractive.click to expand
) Posted by whatisthisallaboutOmg! Never ever EVER play therapist! Especially when you're a Gemini and ESPECIALLY to a Virgo dude. My sis got burned just like you with a Virgo guy! Afterwards she spend like 3 years of putting herself together and trying to find closure and even until this day I don't think she put it to rest in her heart or mind...Posted by rockyroadicecreamThis is very true. I am guilty of playing therapist in the past... was burnt really badly one time by a virgo.
Usually a big indicator is "I just got out of a relationship."
They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."
All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
I agree it is very selfish of people to just use another person to get over their ex.click to expand
Posted by EvoxxxscorpioPenetrative sex, oral sex, or...?Posted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
Posted by littlenanobyteLike when he says, "I'm lonely hahaha" or "send me dick pics jkjkjkjk"
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him
Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
The lack of punctuation in texts is such a turn off, ESPECIALLY when the guy uses a lot of emojis or "hahaha"s . ?
Posted by EvoxxxscorpioHmmPosted by LillyPetalBothPosted by EvoxxxscorpioPenetrative sex, oral sex, or...?Posted by whatisthisallaboutSex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.
Thanks in advance!click to expand
It really does depend. Most of the time, the guy is probably playing the women, the one time, he will end up being her soulmate. The odds are dangerous, so it takes patience and extreme luck, I suppose.
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