How do you know if there's a genuine interest or if the person is looking for a rebound?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by whatisthisallabout on Thursday, January 19, 2017 and has 62 replies.
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Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Ewwww to any guy that pushes for sex on the first date


So obvious
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

You don't know. So stay detached and minimize your expectations. Go with the flow and constantly re-evaluate as you gather information.


Aka: don't be a silly bitch that falls into love too quickly.
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
click to expand
Thanks!

It is def a turn off when someoen pushes for sex on the first date =.=
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
True. But somebody can be very sexual. Like, I'd push for sex on the first date without a doubt.. But I'd also wouldn't leave her after.
click to expand
You must be a geminiLaughing
Posted by aquarius_beauty
When they tell you they just became available in the market
So how much time would you say that they should have been single/not in a serious relationship before you'd consider the person is "safe" to date? smile
Posted by ChoXtsy
If he still has pictures of his ex up.

Lots of sexual talk

If the relationship ended less than 6 months ago
These are all great points!

I had a bad experience with someone who still had his ex gf's photo on his desk... should not have been surprised lol
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by MyStarsShine
Ewwww to any guy that pushes for sex on the first date


So obvious
8th house sun. It's not my fault. lol.
click to expand
No excuse. Tongue




Posted by BuffaloBills28
How has his past been like? .. does he have the rep of being in long relationships, or only involved with small stuff..
How if it is a guy who has had long-term relationships, but has been having flings for the past year or 2?
Posted by MyStarsShine
Ewwww to any guy that pushes for sex on the first date


So obvious
yea, I hate that and I think it's very animal of them.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

You don't know. So stay detached and minimize your expectations. Go with the flow and constantly re-evaluate as you gather information.


Aka: don't be a silly bitch that falls into love too quickly.
click to expand
I think trying to stay detached and minimizing expectations are good ones.

I used to fall in love very quickly. I am doing better now LOL
Posted by littlenanobyte
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him


Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
I avoid those types, but I was screwed over by a Virgo guy who appeared to be very sweet and down-to-earth Crying
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Make his ass work if you want the real thing cause if he's investing he's willing to risk it.
What kinds of efforts you have made to win the other person's heart, or what kind of efforts the other person has put into to win your heart? Any examples?

(Just want to make sure I won't end up demanding something unrealistic :p)
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
True. But somebody can be very sexual. Like, I'd push for sex on the first date without a doubt.. But I'd also wouldn't leave her after.
You must be a geminiLaughing
Some would say so. lol. How did you know?
click to expand
Based on observing my gem guy friends... I noticed that some of them became more interested in the person after sex.
Posted by littlenanobyte
Other than fuck-boy goggles, I would say availability. Everyone can get busy, but fuckboys are unapologetically unavailable on a constant basis for no real reason.
I like this one. I guess anyone who's too busy for me is too busy for meLaughing
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by BuffaloBills28
How has his past been like? .. does he have the rep of being in long relationships, or only involved with small stuff..
How if it is a guy who has had long-term relationships, but has been having flings for the past year or 2?
In that case, go to a store, buy some whip cream, enjoy yourself, and have hell of a time with your friend. Don't stress about the what if's, and the woulda, coulda's, you only live once. Get a lot of whip cream. But hey, that's just me.

click to expand
hahaha. I guess I need to learn to have a good timeLaughing
Posted by tiziani
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.



Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
This is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractiveLaughing
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Make his ass work if you want the real thing cause if he's investing he's willing to risk it.
What kinds of efforts you have made to win the other person's heart, or what kind of efforts the other person has put into to win your heart? Any examples?

(Just want to make sure I won't end up demanding something unrealistic :p)
lol make him work 70 him 30 on you

click to expand
I will try that. Thanks! Winking
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by aquarius_beauty
When they tell you they just became available in the market
So how much time would you say that they should have been single/not in a serious relationship before you'd consider the person is "safe" to date? smile
I'm going to advice you based on the advice I was given, and that I was thankful for.


'For every year you were with someone, give yourself one month of single solitude'
click to expand
Thanks! BTW, would it be a red flag if the person has broken up for a while but still talks to their most recnet ex on a regular basis?
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by BuffaloBills28
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
True. But somebody can be very sexual. Like, I'd push for sex on the first date without a doubt.. But I'd also wouldn't leave her after.
You must be a geminiLaughing
Some would say so. lol. How did you know?
Based on observing my gem guy friends... I noticed that some of them became more interested in the person after sex.
Hmmmm. I like to think I'm the same way. Sex is a powerful thing.The faster two people do it, the faster the two people get closer. It's physics. lollll. In all seriousness though, yeah, it's how I am pretty much. You like them, they like you, why wait?..
click to expand
Yea, but I have only noticed gem guys and scorpio guys think like this... oh well, I prob shouldn't overgeneralizeLaughing. I do notice other signs tend to judge the girl if they "got" her right away.
Posted by Capri-sun
Rebound

- "I'm lonely"

- "I'm looking for someone to complete me"

- constantly talking about ex

- length of last relationship should correlate with length of time single up to 1 year. (Dated for 6 months, should be single for min. of 3 months, dated for 2 years, should be single for 1 year, etc.)

- "let's be friends"

- "I'm not looking for anything serious", "I'm not ready for a relationship" "I can't make any guarantees"

- suggesting you go to his place or your place the 1st night

- doesn't take you out on dates

- asking sex related questions


Genuine

- is concerned/ asks about your day

- puts forth effort

- asks questions/ has an interest in getting to know you

- spends quality time with you

- no bitterness, anger, hatred, sadness when talking about past relationships

- consistent communication

Wow, this is very good! I was nodding the whole time reading through your list!!!! Hug
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date
bullshit
click to expand
See? A scorpioLaughing
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by aquarius_beauty
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by aquarius_beauty
When they tell you they just became available in the market
So how much time would you say that they should have been single/not in a serious relationship before you'd consider the person is "safe" to date? smile
I'm going to advice you based on the advice I was given, and that I was thankful for.


'For every year you were with someone, give yourself one month of single solitude'
Thanks! BTW, would it be a red flag if the person has broken up for a while but still talks to their most recnet ex on a regular basis?
Yes. I would see that as a potential red flag. If there was no wait time between his breakup and contact with his ex, he could still have lingering feelings. I would just be very careful.

click to expand
That's what I thought too. Thank you smile
Posted by tiziani
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by tiziani
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.



Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
This is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractiveLaughing
LOL maybe so, but those are exactly the kind of women (or men, if you're a woman) that you want to avoid unless you like headaches.


And back then when I would have paid for hugs, I think that was around 2011-ish? I'm pretty sure I would walk around and most people could smell the desperation for comfort all over me. I was mostly shunned.


In my twenties, whenever I had money I'd never been as openly pursued by women as when I've been dead broke. Weird phenomenon.


Anyway I really don't think sex says much about a person's long term interest. You may not want to be used for sex only, but you also don't want to wind up with someone who's incapable of making you feel sexually attractive.


click to expand
Yea, I actually had an ex bf who only wanted sex every other month... I didn't feel sexy at all in front of him Crying
Usually a big indicator is "I just got out of a relationship."


They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."


All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
Posted by starwars
cringy af.


you'd know it
it's hard to tell... btw, a virgo guy broke my heart in the past when he ended up getting back together with his ex when we were dating and did not tell me for another 6 months... i don't think i can ever seen thru a virgoLaughing
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Usually a big indicator is "I just got out of a relationship."


They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."


All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
This is very true. I am guilty of playing therapist in the past... was burnt really badly one time by a virgo.

I agree it is very selfish of people to just use another person to get over their ex.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by tiziani
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by tiziani
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.



Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
This is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractiveLaughing
LOL maybe so, but those are exactly the kind of women (or men, if you're a woman) that you want to avoid unless you like headaches.


And back then when I would have paid for hugs, I think that was around 2011-ish? I'm pretty sure I would walk around and most people could smell the desperation for comfort all over me. I was mostly shunned.


In my twenties, whenever I had money I'd never been as openly pursued by women as when I've been dead broke. Weird phenomenon.


Anyway I really don't think sex says much about a person's long term interest. You may not want to be used for sex only, but you also don't want to wind up with someone who's incapable of making you feel sexually attractive.


Yea, I actually had an ex bf who only wanted sex every other month... I didn't feel sexy at all in front of him Crying
Also, is that you? Scorpio squirrel?


click to expand
I don't think so but you just scared the crap out of me cuz my FB profile picture is a squirrel... I was like wth, are you my FB friend? But then I realized it's not possibleLaughing
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
But I really just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for the right person.
are you? hehe
Posted by Capri-sun
Rebound

- "I'm lonely"

- "I'm looking for someone to complete me"

- constantly talking about ex

- length of last relationship should correlate with length of time single up to 1 year. (Dated for 6 months, should be single for min. of 3 months, dated for 2 years, should be single for 1 year, etc.)

- "let's be friends"

- "I'm not looking for anything serious", "I'm not ready for a relationship" "I can't make any guarantees"

- suggesting you go to his place or your place the 1st night

- doesn't take you out on dates

- asking sex related questions


Genuine

- is concerned/ asks about your day

- puts forth effort

- asks questions/ has an interest in getting to know you

- spends quality time with you

- no bitterness, anger, hatred, sadness when talking about past relationships

- consistent communication

So true.
Posted by starwars
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by starwars
cringy af.


you'd know it
it's hard to tell... btw, a virgo guy broke my heart in the past when he ended up getting back together with his ex when we were dating and did not tell me for another 6 months... i don't think i can ever seen thru a virgoLaughing
sorry you had to deal with this trash sign, feel free to visit the virgo board and post about how a dick of a virgo he was.


I think we're very transparent actually.
click to expand
That's ok. It's been 2 years now... thanks though.
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
But I really just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for the right person.
are you? hehe
I swear ?
click to expand
hahahah. i hope you won't break some innocent hearts out there. Hug
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
But I really just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for the right person.
are you? hehe
lol that was two weeks ago ?
click to expand
shush! you are not allowed to date!! TOO SOON!!!
Posted by leowww
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Signs... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...


You're most likely his little secret / rebound
click to expand
These are all good too Hug
Posted by PVandJelly
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

If he's still talking about his ex, or any other woman in general
click to expand
uh oh... got to watch out for that one.
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by leowww
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Signs... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...


You're most likely his little secret / rebound
If he's hiding you from his friends and family lol
click to expand
+1

I have witnessed this happen with one of my close friends. We all have met him but she never met any of his friends or family. not even one.
Posted by starwars
I totally despise the wannabe scorpios who play and pretend to be moody assholes as if its attractive then you be like whats good mofo and he make up some emo stories and be like my ex cheated on me


ofc she did I would too
LOL
Posted by leowww
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by leowww
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Signs... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...


You're most likely his little secret / rebound
If he's hiding you from his friends and family lol
Well..

I'm discreet so I won't yell from the rooftop when I'm seeing someone at first... I will eventually


so...if I go out of my way to hide .... Eh it's not looking good.


& vice versa.

click to expand
when I am not into the guy, I don't introduce him to my circle either...
Posted by littlenanobyte
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him


Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
I love the way some people born under the zodiac Gemini explain things.


Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by leowww
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Signs... If he says everything you want to hear, if he says a lot but his actions don't match, if he tries to get into your pants ASAP, if he doesn't take you out, if nobody from his circle knows your existence...


You're most likely his little secret / rebound
If he's hiding you from his friends and family lol
+1

I have witnessed this happen with one of my close friends. We all have met him but she never met any of his friends or family. not even one.
lol if I ever had a kid I wouldn't wanna have a daughter cause I've seen em all I might end up in jail lol
click to expand
awwww, such an overly protective dadLaughing
Posted by tiziani
It's always going to be a selfish decision to get into a relationship, no matter which way you slice it.
I think I got that.But I'm not sure if I understood it right. I'd love your elaboration on this Tiz.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Teena
Posted by tiziani
It's always going to be a selfish decision to get into a relationship, no matter which way you slice it.
I think I got that.But I'm not sure if I understood it right. I'd love your elaboration on this Tiz.
I think if I tried to elaborate on it, it would just sound pedantic. I was thinking out loud lol
click to expand
Lol!! Now you only made me more curious.

Please do it ?
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by littlenanobyte
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him


Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
I avoid those types, but I was screwed over by a Virgo guy who appeared to be very sweet and down-to-earth Crying
click to expand
Virgo male/Gemini female hardly makes the cut in the long run
Posted by whatisthisallabout


Based on observing my gem guy friends... I noticed that some of them became more interested in the person after sex.
That's so shallow... I don't like Gemini males as a romantic interest. From a Taurus' pov they're too flaky, uncommitted and childish.


Posted by whatisthisallabout


Thanks! BTW, would it be a red flag if the person has broken up for a while but still talks to their most recnet ex on a regular basis?
smile) Yes

Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by tiziani
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by tiziani
Actually I don't see why sex should be a sign.



Guys who just want to hug and don't even really acknowledge you as a woman can be just as insidiously tied to memories of their ex. And when I say "guys" I really mean me, because I was like that - there was a time I would have paid for hugs.
This is very interesting. I guess this quality of you prob makes girls want you even more, especially since 95% of the guys still get horny even if they are not over an ex... I would imagine that some girls will want to conqure you to prove that they are attractiveLaughing
LOL maybe so, but those are exactly the kind of women (or men, if you're a woman) that you want to avoid unless you like headaches.


And back then when I would have paid for hugs, I think that was around 2011-ish? I'm pretty sure I would walk around and most people could smell the desperation for comfort all over me. I was mostly shunned.


In my twenties, whenever I had money I'd never been as openly pursued by women as when I've been dead broke. Weird phenomenon.


Anyway I really don't think sex says much about a person's long term interest. You may not want to be used for sex only, but you also don't want to wind up with someone who's incapable of making you feel sexually attractive.


Yea, I actually had an ex bf who only wanted sex every other month... I didn't feel sexy at all in front of him Crying
click to expand
Was it a Virgo male? smile)


Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Usually a big indicator is "I just got out of a relationship."


They may say that they're not rebounding, but chances are pretty damned high and they'll realize this sometime after you two have been seeing eachother. People are stupidly led to believe that going out and dating helps them move on, which is true, WHEN IT'S DOWN THE ROAD. Not immediately after a break up. Going out and dating after is a selfish cunt mood and screams "I'm using you as therapy."


All I know is when a dude approaches me with interest and it's known he just got out of something, I exit stage left. Ain't nobody got time to play therapist. Be single, be happy with yourself, and don't be using people to get over ish.
This is very true. I am guilty of playing therapist in the past... was burnt really badly one time by a virgo.

I agree it is very selfish of people to just use another person to get over their ex.
click to expand
Omg! Never ever EVER play therapist! Especially when you're a Gemini and ESPECIALLY to a Virgo dude. My sis got burned just like you with a Virgo guy! Afterwards she spend like 3 years of putting herself together and trying to find closure and even until this day I don't think she put it to rest in her heart or mind...


Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
click to expand
Penetrative sex, oral sex, or...?
Posted by littlenanobyte
If you just get a "fuckboy" feeling about him


Trust me, it's a strong and nauseating sensation, you'll insta-know
Like when he says, "I'm lonely hahaha" or "send me dick pics jkjkjkjk"


The lack of punctuation in texts is such a turn off, ESPECIALLY when the guy uses a lot of emojis or "hahaha"s . ?
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Signs? Tips? How do you protect your heart? I just don't want to end up being that rebound girl.

Thanks in advance!

Sex on the first date or Pushing for sex asap
Penetrative sex, oral sex, or...?
Both
click to expand
Hmm


It really does depend. Most of the time, the guy is probably playing the women, the one time, he will end up being her soulmate. The odds are dangerous, so it takes patience and extreme luck, I suppose.
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