how to cope when partner works with siblings?

partner has 3 very dependent siblings and they work together unsociable and irregular hours.

I cant help but feel that he puts them before our relationship as he has to check with them before making a decision whether we can do something or not. Even if no work has been arranged, hes still hesitant to confirm plans with me.

Its starting to get me dwn now, as i have a great r/ship with my family but im independent and put my personal r/ship and partner first when making plans!

Is this r/ship doomed or can it survuve?

Have you talked to him about it?

More information please. Is he recognized as head man? It's common for younger to look up to elder if a family member passes away, or even if family is tight. Some clans are very close knit. Rely on each other, as they should.
I understand your feelings on the matter, but at its base it's naught to do with you personally. It's a trickle down effect.

Posted by cleopatra

partner has 3 very dependent siblings and they work together unsociable and irregular hours.

I cant help but feel that he ...

You have only stated how you feel .... which sounds jealous because you don't get more time than his job does.

To be honest, it makes you out to look pretty stupid ... we all have to put in numerous hours to make money, and apparently you think you're more important than his career, and you're not even his commitment, you're just a wanna be.


Seriously ... wtf

Posted by starlover
Jeeeez i read siblings as children.....he is putting his bros and sisters before you...that isnt good.

It bothers me when women think this way. It really does. Theres something unhealthy and selfish about wanting someone who'd set his close family on a lower level.

Posted by Amandus

It bothers me when women think this way. It really does. Theres something unhealthy and selfish about wanting someone who'd set his close family on a lower level.

I agree wholeheartedly .. and most times it's due to the woman being jealous ... and being jealous of his family being in his life is very disturbing.

Posted by starlover
There is something very unhealthy about a GROWN man who finds it hard to break away from his family, especially when it may be done for the wrong reasons..guilt, responsibility, fear etc

If my grown son (or sister) put their love life on hold for me, i would be totally mortified! Their happiness comes before their duty to their family

How do you know if the man in question is indeed having a hard time breaking away from family? Could it be possible he simply wants to stay?

If my grown child/sibling put their love life on hold for me, I would not be mortified and think they are dysfunctional and send them to get checked and counseled. I would appreciate their concern and let them know I am fine and let him/her go. Its as simple as that.

I hate societal norms.

How people should be, what people should have...I hate it.

Perhaps, but I am not one of them. Family is strength, succor, aid in times of need. These people know you absolutely. It's natural to me to seek counsel from my parents, my sisters. On anything and everything. Do I need them to tell me when I need to wipe my fanny? Absolutely not, however. I fully expect to care for my parents when they cannot care for themselves. Just how it is. They gave to me, I will give to them. In respect and love, honoring them.

Sounds to me like there is a Scorpio in here so dead set on being defensive that the fact that the poster telling the story is doing so in her favor, so she can feel justified in her anger/frustration ... has flown right over head.

Or perhaps, some people are too dense to even realize that one-sided stories aren't the whole truth.

How are they dependant on him? Are they really young? Is he responsible for them?

I don't believe in dropping family/friends when starting a new relationship - but there is a line. What's the point in dating if you don't take it seriously? At the same time, bit unrealistic to expect anyone to place you before their family, unless you're married.