How to 'start over'?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by mgmtlove on Saturday, October 17, 2015 and has 6 replies.
This has happened to me many times: I'll talk to a guy and they disappear. Then come back. Then disappear again. I have a guy who I talked to 2 years ago randomly messaged me on facebook. I've been reading on numerous site to "make them start over" but how do you even do that? Act like nothing happened? Get to know each other all over again?
There is no "starting over". Their disappearing act is part of the experience of dating them. When Ppl do that it really ruins the posibility of a good relationship. It causes distrust. Its up to you whether you want to pursue these guys that show signs of instability.
Signed Up: Oct 29, 2014
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Yeah it sucks. I eventually get over it. It's ok it's another experience to add too. Love knowledge, power, and exciting experiences...
Posted by mgmtlove
This has happened to me many times: I'll talk to a guy and they disappear. Then come back. Then disappear again. I have a guy who I talked to 2 years ago randomly messaged me on facebook. I've been reading on numerous site to "make them start over" but how do you even do that? Act like nothing happened? Get to know each other all over again?
IMO if he disappeared and came back he might realized he likes you and made a mistake.
If he does it again - it seems like he has a slot when he is not in relationships with any other one so you will suffice for that time.
Until he will find another 'new' one.
So not more that one return. One second chance is enough.
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Why would you want to start something up with such a flaky individual?
These guys aren't trustworthy nor reliable. When they come sniffing around, it's usually because they're bored/lonely and have no other options. Because they've come in and out in the past, they think they can do it again with you.
The fact that you want to entertain such ridiculous behavior says that you allow them to do this as well. Want to keep it simple and just chat them up? Fine. But I wouldn't take it beyond that.
Any time I've had a guy do this, I immediately think "what do you want?" Guys just don't come back around just because. There's almost always motive, as paranoid as that sounds. Every single guy I've known to do this usually has a motive. It's either sex, or trying to find someone to fill some void they have in their life at the moment. Neither are good enough reasons for a stable, healthy relationship.
These guys aren't trustworthy nor reliable. When they come sniffing around, it's usually because they're bored/lonely and have no other options. Because they've come in and out in the past, they think they can do it again with you.
The fact that you want to entertain such ridiculous behavior says that you allow them to do this as well. Want to keep it simple and just chat them up? Fine. But I wouldn't take it beyond that.
Any time I've had a guy do this, I immediately think "what do you want?" Guys just don't come back around just because. There's almost always motive, as paranoid as that sounds. Every single guy I've known to do this usually has a motive. It's either sex, or trying to find someone to fill some void they have in their life at the moment. Neither are good enough reasons for a stable, healthy relationship.
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by busyeyes88Posted by mgmtlove
This has happened to me many times: I'll talk to a guy and they disappear. Then come back. Then disappear again. I have a guy who I talked to 2 years ago randomly messaged me on facebook. I've been reading on numerous site to "make them start over" but how do you even do that? Act like nothing happened? Get to know each other all over again?
The guys who have done this to me... I delete their details after a disappearance of 7 days. If they come back it will be as solely platonic friends.... It will not change from this option. They never seem to like that option they always seem to want more and I have finally got rid of.them for good. my life foes not have a "revolving door"and neither should yours. You need to draw the line somewhere..click to expand
This is the shitty thing about people like this. They think that they can treat you as if you can drop everything whenever they choose to come back around. It's a really selfish way to go about treating others and their time. You are not someone's option and you are not their whim. The sooner women realize this in dating, the happier and more adjusted they'll be.
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