krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
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How true is this?
1 of my best friends had a father that was present in her childhood, but always kind of ignored her, never really took her seriously, was a great provider but was emotionally blank, & wasn't affectionate at all. Amazingly, she tends to attract the very same kinds of men now.
They'll commit to her, as in give her the title, like her father did her mom. They'll provide for her & be the typical "head of the household" kind of guy. They're physically present on a consistent basis in her life. But when she's expressing her emotional/intimate needs, these men are very dismissive & aren't really the shoulder to cry on.
But she stays. Why? B/c I think she tries to convince herself that hey, AT LEAST he's a provider. Almost like she feels it's ok to have an emotionally dull relationship as long as a man is literally there/present. She got that mentality from her mother b/c she saw her mother settle all just for the sake of having someone physically being there at the house 7 days a week.
They'll commit to her, as in give her the title, like her father did her mom. They'll provide for her & be the typical "head of the household" kind of guy. They're physically present on a consistent basis in her life. But when she's expressing her emotional/intimate needs, these men are very dismissive & aren't really the shoulder to cry on.
But she stays. Why? B/c I think she tries to convince herself that hey, AT LEAST he's a provider. Almost like she feels it's ok to have an emotionally dull relationship as long as a man is literally there/present. She got that mentality from her mother b/c she saw her mother settle all just for the sake of having someone physically being there at the house 7 days a week.
Posted by krysrenee7
1 of my best friends had a father that was present in her childhood, but always kind of ignored her, never really took her seriously, was a great provider but was emotionally blank, & wasn't affectionate at all. Amazingly, she tends to attract the very same kinds of men now.
They'll commit to her, as in give her the title, like her father did her mom. They'll provide for her & be the typical "head of the household" kind of guy. They're physically present on a consistent basis in her life. But when she's expressing her emotional/intimate needs, these men are very dismissive & aren't really the shoulder to cry on.
But she stays. Why? B/c I think she tries to convince herself that hey, AT LEAST he's a provider. Almost like she feels it's ok to have an emotionally dull relationship as long as a man is literally there/present. She got that mentality from her mother b/c she saw her mother settle all just for the sake of having someone physically being there at the house 7 days a week.
OmG I'm trying to get out of this EXACT MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW. . For the sake of my 4 girls and they don't do the same.
OMG I've never attracted a dude like my father and hope I never do! Funny though my son is interested in a girl that he says some of her personality is just like mine. He says she's very strong, extremely outspoken,very intelligent and boughie! I just laugh!
Posted by shortiiPosted by krysrenee7
1 of my best friends had a father that was present in her childhood, but always kind of ignored her, never really took her seriously, was a great provider but was emotionally blank, & wasn't affectionate at all. Amazingly, she tends to attract the very same kinds of men now.
They'll commit to her, as in give her the title, like her father did her mom. They'll provide for her & be the typical "head of the household" kind of guy. They're physically present on a consistent basis in her life. But when she's expressing her emotional/intimate needs, these men are very dismissive & aren't really the shoulder to cry on.
But she stays. Why? B/c I think she tries to convince herself that hey, AT LEAST he's a provider. Almost like she feels it's ok to have an emotionally dull relationship as long as a man is literally there/present. She got that mentality from her mother b/c she saw her mother settle all just for the sake of having someone physically being there at the house 7 days a week.
OmG I'm trying to get out of this EXACT MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW. . For the sake of my 4 girls and they don't do the same.click to expand
My dad was there but emotionally distant. He just provided. Married that exact same man in my hubby
Impulsiv...love your avi! She's amazing. .lol
Posted by GemStar05
OMG I've never attracted a dude like my father and hope I never do! Funny though my son is interested in a girl that he says some of her personality is just like mine. He says she's very strong, extremely outspoken,very intelligent and boughie! I just laugh!
Wow. Well it's important to remember that a lot of that is sub-conscious. You don't realize it until someone points it out to you
Some people will purposely but sub-consciously seek out someone who is the complete OPPOSITE of their parent(s). Even though other choices aren't necessarily better, AT LEAST your sub-conscious feels better b/c at least you didn't end up with someone like your parent
Kinda like the girl who attracts men who are poor, can't keep a job, etc. She may attracting those kinds of men b/c she resented her workaholic father
Or like the guy who is a mama's boy so he sub-consciously attracts women who mother him or take the lead in the relationship in a way
Or like the girl who stays away from men in positions of authority (police officers, military, etc.) b/c she grew up abused or always felt that men in high positions always abuse their authority. So whereas every other woman might flock to a man in a uniform, this girl makes it a point NOT to flock to them
Or the woman who was abused by her father, thus ends up attracting the kinds of men who are abusive to her too. OR the woman who can spot an abuser from a mile away & vows to run like hell simply b/c she's been abused in her childhood.
It's amazing how our parents traits (good AND bad) have so much impact on the traits we sub-consciously attract ourselves to (even if the traits are bad)
Or like the guy who is a mama's boy so he sub-consciously attracts women who mother him or take the lead in the relationship in a way
Or like the girl who stays away from men in positions of authority (police officers, military, etc.) b/c she grew up abused or always felt that men in high positions always abuse their authority. So whereas every other woman might flock to a man in a uniform, this girl makes it a point NOT to flock to them
Or the woman who was abused by her father, thus ends up attracting the kinds of men who are abusive to her too. OR the woman who can spot an abuser from a mile away & vows to run like hell simply b/c she's been abused in her childhood.
It's amazing how our parents traits (good AND bad) have so much impact on the traits we sub-consciously attract ourselves to (even if the traits are bad)
I think I have the opposite problem. I have a bad habit of becoming my father in relationships. All work and no play. :/
It wouldn't be so bad finding someone that reminds me of him though. He's a good guy. But all my exes really have in common with my dad at this point is that they all have fire moons lol.
It wouldn't be so bad finding someone that reminds me of him though. He's a good guy. But all my exes really have in common with my dad at this point is that they all have fire moons lol.
Very good points guys!!
I think this topic is important b/c so often the people like us who believe in astrology often give credit to our sign for what we like or what we run from, when in fact the real root of how we navigate our love life comes from our childhood & the traits of our parents (vs. liking or not liking someone b/c of the traits within ourselves). Big difference!
I used to think that the deep-rooted reason I was attracted to extremely intellectual men was b/c well I'm an Aquarian & since we are intellectual, why wouldn't we also be attracted to intellectual people, ya know? Wrong! The reason I'm attracted to intellectual men is b/c that was 1 of the traits I most appreciated & admired in my father
I'm not saying astrology isn't a factor. Just saying that sometimes we give all the credit to it when our childhood.
This explains why a Cancer may actually run from someone who is emotional (if they had a parent that was always projecting their emotions onto them) or why an Aquarian may actually be turned off by an overly intellectual partner (b/c their parent was that way)
Sometimes the reason you like/dislike something is connected to those very same traits you liked/disliked in your parents, as opposed to 100% of the credit being given to astrology
I think this topic is important b/c so often the people like us who believe in astrology often give credit to our sign for what we like or what we run from, when in fact the real root of how we navigate our love life comes from our childhood & the traits of our parents (vs. liking or not liking someone b/c of the traits within ourselves). Big difference!
I used to think that the deep-rooted reason I was attracted to extremely intellectual men was b/c well I'm an Aquarian & since we are intellectual, why wouldn't we also be attracted to intellectual people, ya know? Wrong! The reason I'm attracted to intellectual men is b/c that was 1 of the traits I most appreciated & admired in my father
I'm not saying astrology isn't a factor. Just saying that sometimes we give all the credit to it when our childhood.
This explains why a Cancer may actually run from someone who is emotional (if they had a parent that was always projecting their emotions onto them) or why an Aquarian may actually be turned off by an overly intellectual partner (b/c their parent was that way)
Sometimes the reason you like/dislike something is connected to those very same traits you liked/disliked in your parents, as opposed to 100% of the credit being given to astrology
This is very true, Krys.
If your father/mother was a GOOD influence generally, then you SEEK for that "type".
If there was something you as a person didnt like, you seek for a partner that is the type you want.
If your parents was a terrible influence, most people would seek for a partner that was the opposite. Most of the time.
This is in astrology placements too. Moon/Venus for man seeks for in a woman, inc. rising/and other feminine planets.
For women, Sun/mars/rising/Jupiter (the masculine planets)
If your father/mother was a GOOD influence generally, then you SEEK for that "type".
If there was something you as a person didnt like, you seek for a partner that is the type you want.
If your parents was a terrible influence, most people would seek for a partner that was the opposite. Most of the time.
This is in astrology placements too. Moon/Venus for man seeks for in a woman, inc. rising/and other feminine planets.
For women, Sun/mars/rising/Jupiter (the masculine planets)
Posted by starloverPosted by lisabethur8
This is very true, Krys.
If your father/mother was a GOOD influence generally, then you SEEK for that "type".
If there was something you as a person didnt like, you seek for a partner that is the type you want.
If your parents was a terrible influence, most people would seek for a partner that was the opposite. Most of the time.
This is in astrology placements too. Moon/Venus for man seeks for in a woman, inc. rising/and other feminine planets.
For women, Sun/mars/rising/Jupiter (the masculine planets)
Sadly it isnt always true that daughters of terrible fathers seek the opposites. We gravitate towards the father type, sometimes unwittingly until such time we are healed.....its very deep subconscious stuff and that is why lots of women marry abusers/alcoholics etc, cos daddy was one and that is what they had come to knowclick to expand
that's true, Starlover. Until we die and relive again, and get "stronger". Then we learn the hard way, through suffering how to find the "right" man, or rather the right man has found them and healed their broken soul.
Or they usually find the right man not just by using the "father" archetype, but grandfathers, uncles, and other father type figures works too.
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by shortiiPosted by krysrenee7
1 of my best friends had a father that was present in her childhood, but always kind of ignored her, never really took her seriously, was a great provider but was emotionally blank, & wasn't affectionate at all. Amazingly, she tends to attract the very same kinds of men now.
They'll commit to her, as in give her the title, like her father did her mom. They'll provide for her & be the typical "head of the household" kind of guy. They're physically present on a consistent basis in her life. But when she's expressing her emotional/intimate needs, these men are very dismissive & aren't really the shoulder to cry on.
But she stays. Why? B/c I think she tries to convince herself that hey, AT LEAST he's a provider. Almost like she feels it's ok to have an emotionally dull relationship as long as a man is literally there/present. She got that mentality from her mother b/c she saw her mother settle all just for the sake of having someone physically being there at the house 7 days a week.
OmG I'm trying to get out of this EXACT MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW. . For the sake of my 4 girls and they don't do the same.
Sounds like my father. He's also a Scorpio like your husband Shortii. Kind of turns me off from the sign, though I know that's irrational. My father had many good traits, don't get me wrong, I was well taken care of. He was just emotionally absent.click to expand
wow, PVAF, my pisces exhubbie's father is a Scorpio 2nd decan. he's a great, brilliant man but was always away. Never home. (scientist)
STARLOVER, I respect that you are content just by yourself.
Although there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married, there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. It's not for everybody. And some of the people who have been divorced are only saying they don't wanna get married again b/c they're still battling issues from their broken marriage. Understandable. Who knows, in 5 years they may feel completely different & positive about marriage again. Maybe not
I think it's awesome when a woman is honest with herself in that she doesn't need a man or a marriage to feel complete. For some people, simply having a family/friends that can provide all that a husband would, is good enough!
So Kudos to you for not conforming to society's belief that a woman's primary purpose oughta be marriage. Aint nothing wrong with serving yourself!
Although there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married, there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. It's not for everybody. And some of the people who have been divorced are only saying they don't wanna get married again b/c they're still battling issues from their broken marriage. Understandable. Who knows, in 5 years they may feel completely different & positive about marriage again. Maybe not
I think it's awesome when a woman is honest with herself in that she doesn't need a man or a marriage to feel complete. For some people, simply having a family/friends that can provide all that a husband would, is good enough!
So Kudos to you for not conforming to society's belief that a woman's primary purpose oughta be marriage. Aint nothing wrong with serving yourself!
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