aries9118
@aries9118
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 37 · Topics: 2
i hate when people
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Posted by aries9118
... and you freaks that want to live life "in the moment" should all go to your own island and have one big orgy! and lastly, labels are just what they are. they describe exactly what something is. some of us without ESP need that. just my opinion...
I love it! Well said.
Much of that is common sense, but when you're in the middle of it all, it isn't always easy to see.
+1
Posted by ellastar
Hi. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years (almost exactly to the date). For probably 8+ months, sex has been very infrequent and I'm not challenged by him intellectually. In fact he is really quiet. We don't even have many conversations that I don't start and pursue (but he can be surprisingly insightful and funny when we do.) and I usually feel like I am the one being lame when I try to introduce a new topic or pursue a long conversation. I really think it is over for me, but he is the sweetest boyfriend I have ever had. So caring and dear.
Basically, I can relate to him so well, but I just don't want to be in this relationship anymore. IT'S BORING. I feel super bitchy, but I can't shake the feeling that I need to get out before I feel permanently obligated to continue (Although I kind of already do.I'm 25. He's 30).
Are you that ^^^^^ poster with a different name?
That comes from the Pisces board, in where you were told about living in the moment AND the only other thread you've created was on the Pisces board, in which you closed down.
Because it really doesn't happen much where people are told, "stop putting labels on it and just BE in the moment" .... yet, you've made this thread in which insinuates that it's ordinary to be told this.
So, the logical conclusion is that you two are the same poster .... and you didn't want to hear the answer, so you came here to cry about it.
unfortunately i am not the poster or i would have said this on her post. but yes, this was about that post because i get tired of reading that kinda shit on here. so sorry p-angel, but you are wrong. and don't try to scare me you fucking bully. i read your posts. and i'm an old bitch too so dont try me.
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/pisces/pisces-break-up-with-pisces-confused-and-unsure-4704088/
and that ^^^^^^^^^^^^ is ellastar's ONLY posting in dxp
how odd that the only time this is mentioned, then you come in here to attempt to convince us it's common, while the only other thread you've made was on the Pisces board.
lol .... I don't try to do things.
I do things.
Posted by aries9118
.... i get tired of reading that kinda shit on here ....
You must be in la-la-land, because I read a lot in here and I don't read it at all, much less enough to get tired of it.
Quote all of these that tire you.
have some of your cronies check my ip address, etc, etc. so you ALL will see i'm not the original poster. please do so. fact is, people do say that kinda stupid stuff on here all the time. and it irritates the crap outta me. HENCE WHY I MADE THIS POST. THANKS.
Oh and btw ... I don't scare people.
I plant seeds
Which means you can't quote them
You're not smart enough to fool people
oh go away. why do you care? if it's not true, y would you waste your time to argue with me?
and unlike you, i dont have time to go thru thousands of posts to re quote them. If you don't agree, then simply say you dont agree. THAT's PRETTY SIMPLE.
People are so fucking transparent...
On a long enough timeline, you can do everything you want, as long as you're self aware about it.
Expectations is a human thing and it chokes the everliving shit of our journey on Earth.
It's all about self-awareness and accountability. If you have that mastered, it doesn't matter what you choose to do in any interaction with people.
On a long enough timeline, you can do everything you want, as long as you're self aware about it.
Expectations is a human thing and it chokes the everliving shit of our journey on Earth.
It's all about self-awareness and accountability. If you have that mastered, it doesn't matter what you choose to do in any interaction with people.
i truly wish i could "get down" with the no expectation thing. but don't you expect...let's say...for example...a doctor in the emergency room to help you stop bleeding to death? that's a patient/doc relationship. are you saying damnata, that you don't expect anything from anyone?
She didn't say that. She said that expectations is what ruins it. Of course we are human and can not help but to expect (whoa was going to put suspect Freudian sliP— maybe )....
Think of it like this yes, you may expect a dr to stop your bleeding, but your expectation does not guarantee that the dr will stop your bleeding. The ER could be swamped with 100 patience, one dr, and you're the last person in line. That means you're going to bleed to death and of course be sorely disappointed.
Expecting does not = you will get what you want and often times these expectations are unrealistic and you become disappointed in the end. Because at the end of the day the only thing you have control over are your choices and decisions, nothing else, no one else. We are all only human so expecting someone to meet all your needs or even some of your needs can be unrealistic especially if they have their own needs to meet.
It's like a world of everyone going ME, ME, ME and then not getting anything in return and wondering why.
Think of it like this yes, you may expect a dr to stop your bleeding, but your expectation does not guarantee that the dr will stop your bleeding. The ER could be swamped with 100 patience, one dr, and you're the last person in line. That means you're going to bleed to death and of course be sorely disappointed.
Expecting does not = you will get what you want and often times these expectations are unrealistic and you become disappointed in the end. Because at the end of the day the only thing you have control over are your choices and decisions, nothing else, no one else. We are all only human so expecting someone to meet all your needs or even some of your needs can be unrealistic especially if they have their own needs to meet.
It's like a world of everyone going ME, ME, ME and then not getting anything in return and wondering why.
You'll save yourself the time and grief if you concentrate more on yourself and what you can do for yourself and worry less about what others can do for you.
nobody is worried about what others can do for them. the point was...if someone treats you like shit today, and is nice to you tomorrow...dont live in the NICE moment and just "be" and enjoy it. You should recall how they treated you and the words they already spoke to you. PUT A LABEL on that person as an asshole. THat's what i'm saying. and if the doc at the e.r. let you bleed to death, i'm sure your family would get a lawyer who could put a LABEL on that hospital as well.
LOL@and someone responds with some bullshit like..."stop putting labels on it and just BE in the moment"...
Nemesis right...
"and if someone breaks up with you and continues to contact you...NO! don't live in the damn moment. Tell that asshole to stop calling you. They don't get his/her cake and eat it too!"
+1 I agree with this message
Nemesis right...
"and if someone breaks up with you and continues to contact you...NO! don't live in the damn moment. Tell that asshole to stop calling you. They don't get his/her cake and eat it too!"
+1 I agree with this message
You're missing the point completely.
and let me make a correction for p-angel. my original post was made after reading a post by maries101 titled "Mutual break up with Pisces man but"......
Posted by seraphPosted by aries9118
i truly wish i could "get down" with the no expectation thing. but don't you expect...let's say...for example...a doctor in the emergency room to help you stop bleeding to death? that's a patient/doc relationship. are you saying damnata, that you don't expect anything from anyone?click to expand
Big difference between expectations related to certain services rendered, and expectations regarding relationships, and others things which may or may not be completely transitory and changeable.
There are expectations . . . and then there is dependence, and the completely unnecessary, wasteful, and injurious (to yourself and others) mental and emotional imbalances (we can call it "distress") that come from predicating your own peace of mind on specific sets of external conditions. In brief, if you are unable to provide for yourself that which you expect from others - that is, provide for yourself those things which would create equanimity in your life even in the presence of challenge and discomfort - then you'll doom yourself to constant dissatisfaction and second-guessing. And this doesn't apply just to relationships but to virtually every single aspect of your life.
You can only control someone else so much, but you are *very much* in control of YOU. And being "in the moment" is something that 99.9% of typical Western white-bread culture can barely achieve. For instance, try sitting still for 30 minutes while focusing comfortably on something without allowing other thoughts to interfere. You won't last 20 seconds. This is but one of *many* examples of how our minds are conditioned toward unhealthy habits. We can't even get comfortable *with ourselves*. There's always an unquenchable need for external conditions to line up just so. But these, of course, are always changeable, transitory. You're hanging your emotional hat on a massive set of variables.
So when you say "NORMAL person" in your OP . . . understand that it's *not* "normal" in the slightest. It's your warped social and emotional conditioning at play. The typical approach to relationships and social interaction in modern material culture has mental imbalance at its basis. Most people tend to enter into relationships when their relationships with their own selves is anything but healthy
^^^ Oh I said I think will go over her head.
FRU FRU stuff ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ i bet that you expect that if you paid your electric bill, when you hit the switch, a light should come on. is that warped social and emotional conditioning? maybe so, but i bet you expect that to happen and if it doesnt, you find out why and do something about it.
just like someone should do something about someone breaking up with them, then continuing to call. they should not just accept this as "it is what it is" and just be.
just like someone should do something about someone breaking up with them, then continuing to call. they should not just accept this as "it is what it is" and just be.
Posted by xtina
^^^ Oh I said I think will go over her head.
xtina, this does not insult me. as yes, life is simple and i am not here to become a philosopher or "fool anyone". and i agree that one should not expect another to "complete" them and fix his/her problems. but one should have standards as to what they will and will not accept and hold to it. call it a label or whatever you will.
Posted by aries9118Posted by xtina
^^^ Oh I said I think will go over her head.
xtina, this does not insult me. as yes, life is simple and i am not here to become a philosopher or "fool anyone". and i agree that one should not expect another to "complete" them and fix his/her problems. but one should have standards as to what they will and will not accept and hold to it. call it a label or whatever you will.click to expand
Yes, I agree. Btw, I'm never for bad treatment from the man either. Never. BUT I'm just saying, like everything else in life, it's a balancing act. Things are not always black in white... of course some cases are i.e. he either likes you or he doesn't...
But if you lack the inability to empathize with another human being you will never truly connect and you will end up alone and unhappy and wondering why. You expect people to understand you but who the fuck are you? What makes you more important than someone else. It's good to have standards and define yourself but you can not completely ignore that their are other people going through the exact thing you are so why should they bend completely to your will... you shouldn't bend to theirs either but that is where compromise and understanding comes in.
If you can never try to get out of your own head and put yourself in someone elses shoes you'll never be able to connect.
And sometimes this is where a woman can turn a good man wrong. It because she expects and expects... takes and takes and is always wanting more and more because she feels entitled to everything, because she "expects" to be treated that way with NO regard for how her man feels or what he wants.
Not saying you are this way... but by the way you speak you arre either there, on your way, or treading that fine line. And that line is almost invisible. So be careful.
Sometimes it's just about appreciating what you have because as humans we always want more, but if you can't appreciate the little things a man does for you why should he do more because how could you appreciate something bigger?
Lastly, yes you should not accept bad behavior BUT if a relationship is not working out then that is when you have to let it go and just let it be. There is no point in forcing someone to be in a relationship with you.
Surely we all understand the difference between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.
😐
😐
Posted by aries9118
nobody is worried about what others can do for them. the point was...if someone treats you like shit today, and is nice to you tomorrow...dont live in the NICE moment and just "be" and enjoy it. You should recall how they treated you and the words they already spoke to you. PUT A LABEL on that person as an asshole. THat's what i'm saying. and if the doc at the e.r. let you bleed to death, i'm sure your family would get a lawyer who could put a LABEL on that hospital as well.
That is sad that you lack any kind of empathy at all. Have you ever worked a hard day in your life? Now imagine a doctor working 60+ hours a week seeing hundreds of patience a day. Trying their best to help everyone. And by mistake or lack of energy they don't get to you. Dr regardless of their title, position, job whatever are STILL A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU. They are not MACHINES in which you can push to produce an infinite amount of work on. Everybody has their breaking point. Want to be treated with respect and well... well sorry honey that respect is given it's earned. It's not an entitlement it's a privilege. Put yourself in someone elses shoes for once. The world does not revolve around you. You are no one. No one cares.
the post i made had nothing to do with me or my relationships with people. i was just irked by a response that i see posted on here frequently when someone asks a legitimate question about relationships whereas it is not what they expected it to be. so many times i have seen, don't put a label on it, just accept it for what it is....well, yes, if that's ok for you at the moment...but if it's not ok for you, and you want more, then move the hell on.
Posted by tiki33
LOL@and someone responds with some bullshit like..."stop putting labels on it and just BE in the moment"...
Nemesis right...
"and if someone breaks up with you and continues to contact you...NO! don't live in the damn moment. Tell that asshole to stop calling you. They don't get his/her cake and eat it too!"
+1 I agree with this message
No, it's here.
who's crying now? since i don't accept your explanations...then i'm incorrect? what happened to don't label people? just "be"? i didnt ask a single one of you to respond, but since you all did and i dont see things your way, now i'm wrong— such hypocrites. lolol
Posted by xtinaPosted by aries9118
nobody is worried about what others can do for them. the point was...if someone treats you like shit today, and is nice to you tomorrow...dont live in the NICE moment and just "be" and enjoy it. You should recall how they treated you and the words they already spoke to you. PUT A LABEL on that person as an asshole. THat's what i'm saying. and if the doc at the e.r. let you bleed to death, i'm sure your family would get a lawyer who could put a LABEL on that hospital as well.
That is sad that you lack any kind of empathy at all. Have you ever worked a hard day in your life? Now imagine a doctor working 60+ hours a week seeing hundreds of patience a day. Trying their best to help everyone. And by mistake or lack of energy they don't get to you. Dr regardless of their title, position, job whatever are STILL A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU. They are not MACHINES in which you can push to produce an infinite amount of work on. Everybody has their breaking point. Want to be treated with respect and well... well sorry honey that respect is given it's earned. It's not an entitlement it's a privilege. Put yourself in someone elses shoes for once. The world does not revolve around you. You are no one. No one cares.click to expand
you just talked about empathy. then said i was no one and no cared. omg.
Posted by xtinaPosted by aries9118
nobody is worried about what others can do for them. the point was...if someone treats you like shit today, and is nice to you tomorrow...dont live in the NICE moment and just "be" and enjoy it. You should recall how they treated you and the words they already spoke to you. PUT A LABEL on that person as an asshole. THat's what i'm saying. and if the doc at the e.r. let you bleed to death, i'm sure your family would get a lawyer who could put a LABEL on that hospital as well.
That is sad that you lack any kind of empathy at all. Have you ever worked a hard day in your life? Now imagine a doctor working 60+ hours a week seeing hundreds of patience a day. Trying their best to help everyone. And by mistake or lack of energy they don't get to you. Dr regardless of their title, position, job whatever are STILL A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU. They are not MACHINES in which you can push to produce an infinite amount of work on. Everybody has their breaking point. Want to be treated with respect and well... well sorry honey that respect is given it's earned. It's not an entitlement it's a privilege. Put yourself in someone elses shoes for once. The world does not revolve around you. You are no one. No one cares.click to expand
What?
That has nothing to do with earning respect.
They are strangers-- hospitals provide a service, and it is not unreasonable to expect them to properly staff their ER's.
It isn't all about one doctor (—)
I'm just not following your logic, here.
Posted by Montgomery
Surely we all understand the difference between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.
😐
we should hope. and the original post i read i think was maries 101 on the pisces board...but this kind of advice is all over, everywhere, so i'm not surprised it's in another post as well.
Posted by aries9118Posted by Montgomery
Surely we all understand the difference between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.
😐
we should hope. and the original post i read i think was maries 101 on the pisces board...but this kind of advice is all over, everywhere, so i'm not surprised it's in another post as well.click to expand
Ohhh-- sorry.
Now I have go look that one up. :/
Posted by Montgomery
Surely we all understand the difference between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.
😐
You might be surprised but no...we don't.
Posted by aries9118
i truly wish i could "get down" with the no expectation thing. but don't you expect...let's say...for example...a doctor in the emergency room to help you stop bleeding to death? that's a patient/doc relationship. are you saying damnata, that you don't expect anything from anyone?
are you serious with this post?
doctor => social security=> service => expectations
people = people = gray scenarios => no expectations.
To elaborate on my point further..yes we should strive to have no expectations.
In the scenario in that thread..a relationship ends, the other party downgraded to being a friend...unless they ask for sex..that IS a friendship and not something else.
You are free to do whatever you want in this life but understand there are consequences always.
Let's say you engage in a fwb, yes I won't talk you out of it because it is YOUR right to experience YOUR life, create YOUR own environment.
FWB is a typical problem for people with expectations...fuck someone with no strings attached if you want to..but don't go around expecting a relationship. Just do it if you feel like it in the moment but understand and accept if the expectation of a relationship falls through.
Same with having sex early on in a relationship...do it, but again do it because it's according to how you feel and what you want to experience..not because it's a purpose or a means of securing something, anything.
There is no security when it comes to life...none. Be confident in who you are and act accordingly and you will see life bending for your will because YOU create it.
I have no idea how to make it any more clear than this. I will defer to Seraph's post on expectations.
Just look at the topic thread "i hate when people"
1) It already starts on a negative vibe so there's no way you're looking for different opinions, but strengthening your stance.
2) You are judging according to your ego. We all do...but let's try to go around that and accept variety in life. Accept other people's right to have a different stance, accept their right to live life how they want to.
"I don't agree with your opinion, but
1) It already starts on a negative vibe so there's no way you're looking for different opinions, but strengthening your stance.
2) You are judging according to your ego. We all do...but let's try to go around that and accept variety in life. Accept other people's right to have a different stance, accept their right to live life how they want to.
"I don't agree with your opinion, but
*cont
"I don't agree with your opinion, but I will fight to the death for your right to have one" - Balzac, if I am not mistaken.
"I don't agree with your opinion, but I will fight to the death for your right to have one" - Balzac, if I am not mistaken.
Posted by DamnataPosted by aries9118
i truly wish i could "get down" with the no expectation thing. but don't you expect...let's say...for example...a doctor in the emergency room to help you stop bleeding to death? that's a patient/doc relationship. are you saying damnata, that you don't expect anything from anyone?
are you serious with this post?
doctor => social security=> service => expectations
people = people = gray scenarios => no expectations.
To elaborate on my point further..yes we should strive to have no expectations.
In the scenario in that thread..a relationship ends, the other party downgraded to being a friend...unless they ask for sex..that IS a friendship and not something else.
You are free to do whatever you want in this life but understand there are consequences always.
Let's say you engage in a fwb, yes I won't talk you out of it because it is YOUR right to experience YOUR life, create YOUR own environment.
FWB is a typical problem for people with expectations...fuck someone with no strings attached if you want to..but don't go around expecting a relationship. Just do it if you feel like it in the moment but understand and accept if the expectation of a relationship falls through.
Same with having sex early on in a relationship...do it, but again do it because it's according to how you feel and what you want to experience..not because it's a purpose or a means of securing something, anything.
There is no security when it comes to life...none. Be confident in who you are and act accordingly and you will see life bending for your will because YOU create it.
I have no idea how to make it any more clear than this. I will defer to Seraph's post on expectations.click to expand
no disagreements there damnata. BUT let's not ignore that if someone says they don't want a relationship with you, then they stay in contact, they ARE stringing you along usually for another reason, (build up his/her ego, money, sex). NOW if both parties are agreeing to this, it is freaking a-ok. BUT this, too, would have a LABEL.
No one strings you along because it's your choice to follow up or not.
People don't actually string other people along, they take you on a ride because they can sense you don't have boundaries. To talk about someone "stringing you along" = you have no direction and are defaulting to their will.
People can agree on where it's going without any labels.
I am in contact with my Aries Ex daily..we broke up but it's the same as when we were dating. Except sex/any kind of intimacy. We have the same vibe because we both care about each other but a relationship isn't doable anymore at this point.
I am not stringing him along, he isn't stringing me along.
He will face when he meets another, I will probably fade as well but what we have and what we share won't go away.
People don't actually string other people along, they take you on a ride because they can sense you don't have boundaries. To talk about someone "stringing you along" = you have no direction and are defaulting to their will.
People can agree on where it's going without any labels.
I am in contact with my Aries Ex daily..we broke up but it's the same as when we were dating. Except sex/any kind of intimacy. We have the same vibe because we both care about each other but a relationship isn't doable anymore at this point.
I am not stringing him along, he isn't stringing me along.
He will face when he meets another, I will probably fade as well but what we have and what we share won't go away.
Posted by Damnata
No one strings you along because it's your choice to follow up or not.
People don't actually string other people along, they take you on a ride because they can sense you don't have boundaries. To talk about someone "stringing you along" = you have no direction and are defaulting to their will.
People can agree on where it's going without any labels.
I am in contact with my Aries Ex daily..we broke up but it's the same as when we were dating. Except sex/any kind of intimacy. We have the same vibe because we both care about each other but a relationship isn't doable anymore at this point.
I am not stringing him along, he isn't stringing me along.
He will face when he meets another, I will probably fade as well but what we have and what we share won't go away.
i digress. i wish you and your aries the best damnata. 🙂
I don't know where we're going..it's the beauty of life. 🙂
I kinda get where you're coming from but I think you are referring just to a number of precise scenarios and not relationships in their entirety.
I kinda get where you're coming from but I think you are referring just to a number of precise scenarios and not relationships in their entirety.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by aries9118Posted by Montgomery
Surely we all understand the difference between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.
😐
we should hope. and the original post i read i think was maries 101 on the pisces board...but this kind of advice is all over, everywhere, so i'm not surprised it's in another post as well.
Ohhh-- sorry.
Now I have go look that one up. :/
click to expand
Oy, that was Nemesis.
I get where she's coming from in that particular context--
But she doesn't seem to be addressing the (confusing) treatment from the boyfriend so much as the relationship as a whole.
I think she specifically referred to the "situation"-- not the behavior.
lastly, lemme say this is HOW I FEEL and no one has to agree. IF one is not labeling his/her significant other as such, then rest assured the "significant other" is screwing others. i do not believe there is such a thing as no labels. if there is no label, then it is nothing to no one in my opinion. i mean, it just sounds silly to me....that someone would be accepting of this. for example, convo goes like this...hi babe. you haven't called in three days. what's up?----- oh, hi, i was out screwing this hot chick and forgot about you, but today i would like to hang out with you becuz you are so great---- oh really?-----yes, forget about me sleeping with someone hrs ago..don't label this. just be.
WTF—
WTF—
You are making assumptions.
A label won't promise fidelity. If anything, with labels it's easier to cheat because the person already had the expectation of fidelity in their mind, you won't need to prove yourself constantly.
Only my opinion, anyone can beg to differ on this.
A label won't promise fidelity. If anything, with labels it's easier to cheat because the person already had the expectation of fidelity in their mind, you won't need to prove yourself constantly.
Only my opinion, anyone can beg to differ on this.
Yeeah, blame it on the current trend of taking no accountability in life and wanting to live in lala land about everything.
People want to live in a fantasy that caters to them and drag others in. It's pretty ridiculous. The rest of the sane people have to deal with these asshats.
People want to live in a fantasy that caters to them and drag others in. It's pretty ridiculous. The rest of the sane people have to deal with these asshats.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yeeah, blame it on the current trend of taking no accountability in life and wanting to live in lala land about everything.
People want to live in a fantasy that caters to them and drag others in. It's pretty ridiculous. The rest of the sane people have to deal with these asshats.
yes.
Btw, I read the post and the response that you mentioned- it makes me lol. Seriously, life is not a romantic comedy. Some bitches need to quit treating it as such.
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who the hell do these people think they are making normal people feel like they shouldn't have expectations of relationships/friendships?? just be in the moment—? maybe if you are on a vacation and meet a lover...maybe if you are in a club and are making out with someone just for fun....maybe if..well you get the idea..
but why would a NORMAL person not have expectations of someone if they are in a relationship or friendship? that's the definition of a relationship/friendship, isn't it....that one can depend on certain things expected of a relationship/friendship. and if someone breaks up with you and continues to contact you...NO! don't live in the damn moment. Tell that asshole to stop calling you. They don't get his/her cake and eat it too!
and you freaks that want to live life "in the moment" should all go to your own island and have one big orgy! and lastly, labels are just what they are. they describe exactly what something is. some of us without ESP need that. just my opinion...