I'm in my 30s, he's in his 50s - do I initiate?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by asw8 on Wednesday, July 11, 2018 and has 24 replies.
Signed Up: Jul 28, 2016
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
I dont have a problem with age. I have more of a problem with dipping your pen into the office ink.
its never a good idea.
its never a good idea.
I would never shit where I eat.
Posted by perperunaCongratz Koni!
For me, the age difference is way too much, but I my boyfriend and I work together and we are very much in love. In fact we are expecting a baby in January. So work relationships can be awesome
Work is cool
Work relationships are generally more hazardous than prosperous. However I've known a few people who met their spouses this way. I don't think it's the age if he accepted a coffee date previously. With 20 years experience on you, you might talk to him and try to learn more about him. Do you both see this job as long-term? Is he is your boss? There is most definitely a reason for his behavior so I'd advise to feel it out and don't rush it. Start by building a solid friendship and see if anything later on develops naturally.
To add, we will no longer be in the same work place soon as I am leaving. He is kind of up the rank in the company. I just don't know if I should attempt to ask him out again outside of work.
Posted by asw8he's old enough to know better about you and the work thing
If there are any older men here, or women around my age - what is your view about a younger woman wanting to date a man 20 years older? Do I do the asking? It is also a work thing.
I know him going after me might make him look creepy, plus we work together. Ever since I caught him looking at me, he's become avoidant and has stopped. When I approached him about meeting for coffee he was very happy wanting to do that. We did, and he's again avoidant. So I'm not sure if it's an age thing, or work thing, or just not interested. Wondering if I should initiate something again?
Posted by asw8
To add, we will no longer be in the same work place soon as I am leaving. He is kind of up the rank in the company. I just don't know if I should attempt to ask him out again outside of work.
Probably hesitant because of his position so just wait until you no longer work there. I like to date close to my age but that’s my preference 🤷🏻♀️
he's old enough to know better about you and the work thing
What does this mean?
It depends if you work in completely different departments or not. If you do i say proceed but with extreme caution.
He may be on the fence knowing he is interested but also worried that this is a sexual harassment/metoo disaster waiting to happen
Remember that he doesn't know you well. Therefore he doesnt know if things dont click on a romantic level if yourr going to lash out and go to hr.
He is dealing with a work minefield. I have been attracted to other female coworkers at my job but have never acted on it.
Even if they are attracted to me, i dont act on it. Too much of a risk and im there to make a living.
So don't take it personal with him being distant. This is his job and he is gonna be cautious.
He may be on the fence knowing he is interested but also worried that this is a sexual harassment/metoo disaster waiting to happen
Remember that he doesn't know you well. Therefore he doesnt know if things dont click on a romantic level if yourr going to lash out and go to hr.
He is dealing with a work minefield. I have been attracted to other female coworkers at my job but have never acted on it.
Even if they are attracted to me, i dont act on it. Too much of a risk and im there to make a living.
So don't take it personal with him being distant. This is his job and he is gonna be cautious.
Too much for me.
There's something about him. Just like any other man my age, or my ex who was also a bit older. There's an attraction and I want to get to know him but... there seems to be a but... I'm mature enough to not let personal and professional affect each other in anyway. But I understand he may not see it that way.
Why not.
Love is HARD to find.
Love is HARD to find.
I aint gonna lie, the place i work at is temptation island. So many attractive girls at my company. And they work in different departments too!
So OP I get where you are coming from albeit slightly. If i wasn't focused on escaping my living exploitment nightmare i would definitely be testing the waters.
But if he feels comfortable again around you the invite him to a group of co workers outing first.
Like someone else said you want to build rapport first instead of diving in.
So OP I get where you are coming from albeit slightly. If i wasn't focused on escaping my living exploitment nightmare i would definitely be testing the waters.
But if he feels comfortable again around you the invite him to a group of co workers outing first.
Like someone else said you want to build rapport first instead of diving in.
I think you should ask him once you’re leaving. If he says no, then you don’t have to see him again.
lol now I'm scared to.
Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️
Posted by WaterbearerwearerWhy?
You’re describing a kind of hell that Dante would roll in his grave over.
Posted by GemitatiIts a saying. Like, don't mix business with pleasure.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneNot every saying is true. Most people met and formed families AT workplace! Well...before dating sites maybe but still...Posted by GemitatiIts a saying. Like, don't mix business with pleasure.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️click to expand
Posted by GemitatiWell idk about most people. I only know myself and I would not...wait for it...shit where I eat.Posted by LadyNeptuneNot every saying is true. Most people met and formed families AT workplace! Well...before dating sites maybe but still...Posted by GemitatiIts a saying. Like, don't mix business with pleasure.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneSo...if you fell for someone (not sure if you understand the meaning of ‘fell for’) at work - you would just dismiss it? Ha! Sure!!!Posted by GemitatiWell idk about most people. I only know myself and I would not...wait for it...shit where I eat.Posted by LadyNeptuneNot every saying is true. Most people met and formed families AT workplace! Well...before dating sites maybe but still...Posted by GemitatiIts a saying. Like, don't mix business with pleasure.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️click to expand
It’s just you probably don’t have much in a love/sex department...
You love furniture more than men. Not there is anything wrong with that...
Posted by GemitatiFalling is a choice. I'm saying its a choice I'm not gonna make.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo...if you fell for someone (not sure if you understand the meaning of ‘fell for’) at work - you would just dismiss it? Ha! Sure!!!Posted by GemitatiWell idk about most people. I only know myself and I would not...wait for it...shit where I eat.Posted by LadyNeptuneNot every saying is true. Most people met and formed families AT workplace! Well...before dating sites maybe but still...Posted by GemitatiIts a saying. Like, don't mix business with pleasure.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️
It’s just you probably don’t have much in a love/sex department...
You love furniture more than men. Not there is anything wrong with that...click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneDo you really believe it’s a choice?Posted by GemitatiFalling is a choice. I'm saying its a choice I'm not gonna make.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo...if you fell for someone (not sure if you understand the meaning of ‘fell for’) at work - you would just dismiss it? Ha! Sure!!!Posted by GemitatiWell idk about most people. I only know myself and I would not...wait for it...shit where I eat.Posted by LadyNeptuneNot every saying is true. Most people met and formed families AT workplace! Well...before dating sites maybe but still...Posted by GemitatiIts a saying. Like, don't mix business with pleasure.Posted by LadyNeptuneSo liking someone for you is ‘shitting’? That figures...
I would never shit where I eat.
And google how many people had met at a workplace. I think it’s 60% .
👯♀️
It’s just you probably don’t have much in a love/sex department...
You love furniture more than men. Not there is anything wrong with that...click to expand
Why whoukd I choose THAT?
Being hurt 24/7? You are just cold hearted individual and trust me - one day you will fall!
Then come to me. I’ll hive you a hug! If I am still alive...bitch! ❤️
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