Instant relationships just why?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by PuzzlePieces on Sunday, March 15, 2020 and has 25 replies.
What do you think about people who push instant relationships?

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Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.
Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.
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Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces

What do you think about people who push instant relationships?


I'd prefer that than fwb.

But then overall, I'm slow to jump in one. I guess some people just prefer to know where they stand immediately.
click to expand


I question whether it’s the relationship that is important or the person. And when people act like they have more feelings than they actually do.. I don’t do FWB’s .. so it’s not an either this or that.
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Posted by LittleStar

If it’s moving too fast, it’s probably because they want to get you before you realize how much of a hot mess they are.
Haha probably true!!!!
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Posted by slug
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.


I would assume they are insecure, emotionally unstable and slightly controlling.
click to expand


Oooh accurate!
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Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.
click to expand
I was like that with the last gal I was with... she was extremely good looking so i just attributed it to that. we hung out with each other every day from day 1. later i looked at our synastry and found out we had mars-pluto square by 1 degree.

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Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces

What do you think about people who push instant relationships?


I'd prefer that than fwb.

But then overall, I'm slow to jump in one. I guess some people just prefer to know where they stand immediately.


I question whether it’s the relationship that is important or the person. And when people act like the have more feelings than they actually do.. I don’t do FWB’s .. so it’s not an either this or that.


OK. Well in that case, the only way to find out is to actually be in a relationship with the person. If it were me (and this is what I would actually do because of my personality), I would be in a relationship and find out which is which. Being in a relationship with someone makes the person open up more so I will have more understanding of his motives. I won't lose anything anyway so long as money isn't involved. But its a good opportunity to get started in knowing th person more. Some people become more comfortable being in an rs with the one they like. Doesn't matter in early stages which is more important. Everything can start to grow.

My husband and I were exclusive in a month after meeting. That's quick for others. I wasn't Inlove with him at the time. He wasn't my type either. But he was persistent and as far as showing more feelings towards me, he did just that. I didn't know if it was real or not. But my intuition told me, I should do it. Jump in, head first lol But I'd rather that than not. He is a good person so I thought, why not. And now I'm happily married to him.

Which guy are you referring to BTW? Is he asking to be in an rs real early with you? Are you seeing red flags?
click to expand


It’s blown up twice in a month. Both times because he was thinking about himself and not understanding my point of view. That’s the biggest red flag. The recent Cap ( not the original one). He doesn’t know what slow is. He immediately jumps in and starts acting like you are living together. So I have no doubt he really liked me. Yes he asked for exclusive and said indefinitely. Then he got mad at me 2 days later, because expectations weren’t happening & he wasn’t understanding I’m in the middle of tax season and exhausted. I have been working everyday for 3 weeks, most days 11-12 hours plus 6 days a week the two weeks before that.. but apparently within a month of meeting him I’m supposed be acting like I can carry on a committed relationship? We got into a fight and now he’s back on the dating website 😳 ( which he had hidden his profile immediately when he started dating me.
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With the coronavirus you can't be finicky take what you can get. If they are healthy and don't got it you better jump in and commit!
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Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.


I was like that with the last gal I was with... she was extremely good looking so i just attributed it to that. we hung out with each other every day from day 1. later i looked at our synastry and found out we had mars-pluto square by 1 degree.
click to expand
Well I think he’s like this with everyone. Told me his last gf and he started living together within a week. It’s confusing to me cuz my major relationships started this way .. well without the instant relationship part but with seeing each other a lot and evolving relatively quickly.
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Posted by Weeds

With the coronavirus you can't be finicky take what you can get. If they are healthy and don't got it you better jump in and commit!
😂😂
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Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces

What do you think about people who push instant relationships?


I'd prefer that than fwb.

But then overall, I'm slow to jump in one. I guess some people just prefer to know where they stand immediately.


I question whether it’s the relationship that is important or the person. And when people act like the have more feelings than they actually do.. I don’t do FWB’s .. so it’s not an either this or that.


OK. Well in that case, the only way to find out is to actually be in a relationship with the person. If it were me (and this is what I would actually do because of my personality), I would be in a relationship and find out which is which. Being in a relationship with someone makes the person open up more so I will have more understanding of his motives. I won't lose anything anyway so long as money isn't involved. But its a good opportunity to get started in knowing th person more. Some people become more comfortable being in an rs with the one they like. Doesn't matter in early stages which is more important. Everything can start to grow.

My husband and I were exclusive in a month after meeting. That's quick for others. I wasn't Inlove with him at the time. He wasn't my type either. But he was persistent and as far as showing more feelings towards me, he did just that. I didn't know if it was real or not. But my intuition told me, I should do it. Jump in, head first lol But I'd rather that than not. He is a good person so I thought, why not. And now I'm happily married to him.

Which guy are you referring to BTW? Is he asking to be in an rs real early with you? Are you seeing red flags?


It’s blown up twice in a month. Both times because he was thinking about himself and not understanding my point of view. That’s the biggest red flag. The recent Cap ( not the original one). He doesn’t know what slow is. He immediately jumps in and starts acting like you are living together. So I have doubt he really liked me. Yes he asked for exclusive and said indefinitely. Then he got mad at me 2 days later, because expectations weren’t happening & he wasn’t understanding I’m in the middle of tax season and exhausted. I have been working everyday for 3 weeks, most days 11-12 hours plus 6 days a week the two weeks before that.. but apparently within a month of meeting him I’m supposed be acting like I can carry on a committed relationship? We got into a fight and now he’s back on the dating website 😳 ( which he had hidden his profile immediately when he started dating me.


Well, jump ship if you're seeing Red flags. Don't spend time analysing him. It's not worth your time. Next!
click to expand
Ya. I was just wondering about this instant relationship behavior. I met a guy last year who tried to do this too. But I ran! Lol This one had possibility but it was too much too soon. And the lack of understanding is a serious red flag. Yep you’re right!
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Posted by Devil

They wanna have sex and use the relationship as the bait to get what they want. From the men's perspective here. Women may do this but it's highly unlikely.
Makes sense.
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Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.


I was like that with the last gal I was with... she was extremely good looking so i just attributed it to that. we hung out with each other every day from day 1. later i looked at our synastry and found out we had mars-pluto square by 1 degree.


Well I think he’s like this with everyone. Told me his last gf and he started living together within a week. It’s confusing to me cuz my major relationships started this way .. well without the instant relationship part but with seeing each other a lot and evolving relatively quickly.
click to expand
sometimes it just happens othertimes it doesnt. it's probably odd that he moves that fast every time.

lately everyone i've been meeting i'm having some interchart pluto aspects.

details
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.


I was like that with the last gal I was with... she was extremely good looking so i just attributed it to that. we hung out with each other every day from day 1. later i looked at our synastry and found out we had mars-pluto square by 1 degree.


Well I think he’s like this with everyone. Told me his last gf and he started living together within a week. It’s confusing to me cuz my major relationships started this way .. well without the instant relationship part but with seeing each other a lot and evolving relatively quickly.


sometimes it just happens othertimes it doesnt. it's probably odd that he moves that fast every time.

lately everyone i've been meeting i'm having some interchart pluto aspects.
click to expand
Maybe I’ll check into that. I know Cap #1 i did.
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Posted by Gobby

Maybe looking at their Venus would help...
He’s aqua Venus..
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Posted by LittleStar

Hmm. Aqua Venus doesn’t seem to go to with this. I mean they can move fast but I’m not sure about the stopping and starting.

What’s his Moon?
Libra moon. He definitely is all about fairness and things being equal. He’s Aries mars which I think could be responsible for the full speed ahead and not stopping. I think wayyyyyyyy too much cardinal for me. Lol
details
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by rabidtalker
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.


I was like that with the last gal I was with... she was extremely good looking so i just attributed it to that. we hung out with each other every day from day 1. later i looked at our synastry and found out we had mars-pluto square by 1 degree.


Well I think he’s like this with everyone. Told me his last gf and he started living together within a week. It’s confusing to me cuz my major relationships started this way .. well without the instant relationship part but with seeing each other a lot and evolving relatively quickly.


sometimes it just happens othertimes it doesnt. it's probably odd that he moves that fast every time.

lately everyone i've been meeting i'm having some interchart pluto aspects.
click to expand
Hmm in synastry Pluto trine sun & Pluto trine moon
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Posted by sagaciouscorp
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by slug
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Clarify.


Want to see you constantly, and start acting as though you are in a relationship immediately. Like they want a relationship, companionship sex with anyone not that they’ve decided they really wanted to be with you. And then all the expectations along with someone you’re living with already.

It’s like no courtship. No getting to know each other phase, just boom here we are.


I would assume they are insecure, emotionally unstable and slightly controlling.


Oooh accurate!

I suspect that’s what you really wanted to say but posted as a question. You know people have different paces. I know sag I light n flight so it’s Easier that way
click to expand
I wanted to hear others opinions.. I like to understand 😁 I do think it helps to have a better understanding of people. As I try to understand why things don’t work or do work. To try to understand myself better at this point in my life. Yes about paces, I have noticed that in the last couple of years. I’m slow & I’m fast, and slow to trust but get bored if it’s too slow. So it’s trial and error?

And truthfully the biggest problem here was his lack of understanding. Although the speed of it all did make me hesitant.
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Posted by dilettante
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Hmm. Aqua Venus doesn’t seem to go to with this. I mean they can move fast but I’m not sure about the stopping and starting.

What’s his Moon?


Libra moon. He definitely is all about fairness and things being equal. He’s Aries mars which I think could be responsible for the full speed ahead and not stopping. I think wayyyyyyyy too much cardinal for me. Lol


sun sq moon, moon oppose mars

not chill
click to expand
You’re right on sun square moon but he doesn’t have moon opposition mars

Definitely not chill though
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Posted by dilettante
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by dilettante
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Hmm. Aqua Venus doesn’t seem to go to with this. I mean they can move fast but I’m not sure about the stopping and starting.

What’s his Moon?


Libra moon. He definitely is all about fairness and things being equal. He’s Aries mars which I think could be responsible for the full speed ahead and not stopping. I think wayyyyyyyy too much cardinal for me. Lol


sun sq moon, moon oppose mars

not chill


You’re right on sun square moon but he doesn’t have moon opposition mars

Definitely not chill though


either way, his moon is at odds w his mars. they act in different ways.
click to expand
That makes sense. He acts one way, and then he starts getting upset in a way that didn’t jive with actions, and when I don’t just follow along with what he wanted, it blows up. At least, it happened early on.
details
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by LittleStar
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces

What do you think about people who push instant relationships?


I'd prefer that than fwb.

But then overall, I'm slow to jump in one. I guess some people just prefer to know where they stand immediately.


I question whether it’s the relationship that is important or the person. And when people act like the have more feelings than they actually do.. I don’t do FWB’s .. so it’s not an either this or that.


OK. Well in that case, the only way to find out is to actually be in a relationship with the person. If it were me (and this is what I would actually do because of my personality), I would be in a relationship and find out which is which. Being in a relationship with someone makes the person open up more so I will have more understanding of his motives. I won't lose anything anyway so long as money isn't involved. But its a good opportunity to get started in knowing th person more. Some people become more comfortable being in an rs with the one they like. Doesn't matter in early stages which is more important. Everything can start to grow.

My husband and I were exclusive in a month after meeting. That's quick for others. I wasn't Inlove with him at the time. He wasn't my type either. But he was persistent and as far as showing more feelings towards me, he did just that. I didn't know if it was real or not. But my intuition told me, I should do it. Jump in, head first lol But I'd rather that than not. He is a good person so I thought, why not. And now I'm happily married to him.

Which guy are you referring to BTW? Is he asking to be in an rs real early with you? Are you seeing red flags?


Yeah it depends on how much time and energy do you want to spend on someone. I’m glad it worked out in your case. ❤️


Honestly, I was just trying my luck lol I was like... I've always been so fucking picky. Takes me ages to be with someone and then they fucking hurt me 😭😭😭😭😭 so I did a change of pace. And it worked 😂😂😂😂😂 even my friends cannot believe what happened. I still find it amusing when I think about it. I'm a slow burn type. That was my problem. And I select and select and take ages. Only to end up with the wrong one after all. I stopped giving a fuck on time lines. It's when things started happening. I think so long as he doesn't seem like a serial killer, a con artist or the likes, it might be OK 😂
click to expand
Interesting! I do think sometimes our patterns hold us back. Fear holds us back. I think for me though, I’m more picky after my divorce. I’ve had my kids, and I don’t want to do the toxic save you thing anymore. So I want something healthy. So if I start something that shows signs that it won’t be healthy for me long term, I’m not going to stay there. But, I keep preferring to be alone. Since the first Cap anyway. Starting to wonder if it’s possible..
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Posted by Raakac

If it works for them , it works for them, i've seen examples like there and ppl stay 6yrs together and longer, but it's just not my cup of tea. I like to get to know someone reaal good before i could even say we are couple, as a Sag moon i value my freedom loads, if i see that person trying to cage me in, i'm gone. If i even end up commited the person knows they will have to accept my freedom or i'll just flee like a kite, lol.
Well it worked for me when I was younger and not so aware. One was a 20 year relationship even. These days it keeps not working. slow seems better but as a Sag sun, if it’s slow it means there’s not much there chemistry wise. 🤦‍♀️ What to do 😂
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Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by LittleStar
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by 7thHouse
Posted by PuzzlePieces

What do you think about people who push instant relationships?


I'd prefer that than fwb.

But then overall, I'm slow to jump in one. I guess some people just prefer to know where they stand immediately.


I question whether it’s the relationship that is important or the person. And when people act like the have more feelings than they actually do.. I don’t do FWB’s .. so it’s not an either this or that.


OK. Well in that case, the only way to find out is to actually be in a relationship with the person. If it were me (and this is what I would actually do because of my personality), I would be in a relationship and find out which is which. Being in a relationship with someone makes the person open up more so I will have more understanding of his motives. I won't lose anything anyway so long as money isn't involved. But its a good opportunity to get started in knowing th person more. Some people become more comfortable being in an rs with the one they like. Doesn't matter in early stages which is more important. Everything can start to grow.

My husband and I were exclusive in a month after meeting. That's quick for others. I wasn't Inlove with him at the time. He wasn't my type either. But he was persistent and as far as showing more feelings towards me, he did just that. I didn't know if it was real or not. But my intuition told me, I should do it. Jump in, head first lol But I'd rather that than not. He is a good person so I thought, why not. And now I'm happily married to him.

Which guy are you referring to BTW? Is he asking to be in an rs real early with you? Are you seeing red flags?


Yeah it depends on how much time and energy do you want to spend on someone. I’m glad it worked out in your case. ❤️


Honestly, I was just trying my luck lol I was like... I've always been so fucking picky. Takes me ages to be with someone and then they fucking hurt me 😭😭😭😭😭 so I did a change of pace. And it worked 😂😂😂😂😂 even my friends cannot believe what happened. I still find it amusing when I think about it. I'm a slow burn type. That was my problem. And I select and select and take ages. Only to end up with the wrong one after all. I stopped giving a fuck on time lines. It's when things started happening. I think so long as he doesn't seem like a serial killer, a con artist or the likes, it might be OK 😂


Interesting! I do think sometimes our patterns hold us back. Fear holds us back. I think for me though, I’m more picky after my divorce. I’ve had my kids, and I don’t want to do the toxic save you thing anymore. So I want something healthy. So if I start something that shows signs that it won’t be healthy for me long term, I’m not going to stay there. But, I keep preferring to be alone. Since the first Cap anyway. Starting to wonder if it’s possible..


Yeah. It's the pattern. You gotta be mindful of yourself. Don't think of it like... These guys are the ones I attract or these guys are the only types that interest me etc. The moment I got out of that box for myself is when I really found happiness. Its such a weird thing. But truth is, all relationships can hurt you anyway. I'm not gonna bs and say the right one won't hurt you. He might. Relationships hurt. Just gotta chose your kind of pain. I'm very happy right now. I know that what would hurt me the most is when he's gone. I always look at our lives down the line. Old and grey. What if he goes before I do? That's gonna be unbearable. So I need to be with him because nothing beats the pain of not being with him. I sound like a romantic 😂
click to expand

Yes. There were two guys in my life I’ve felt that way about. Both the relationships went very fast. One 3 years & then broke my heart being all logical & crap 😂 and one my ex husband the Aries. I truly never thought we’d split up. But life changes, people grow, people don’t, etc. I have not met someone since that I felt like that about. Even the Cap I had doubts, but hope for it. The Leo well could be possible but we never got to find out. It always takes me awhile to get there, but like you said relationship starts before you know for sure, it takes time for it to evolve to that point. This Cap well I think it’s too difficult to get to that point. Two blowups in a month is not a good sign.
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Posted by Raakac
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by Raakac

If it works for them , it works for them, i've seen examples like there and ppl stay 6yrs together and longer, but it's just not my cup of tea. I like to get to know someone reaal good before i could even say we are couple, as a Sag moon i value my freedom loads, if i see that person trying to cage me in, i'm gone. If i even end up commited the person knows they will have to accept my freedom or i'll just flee like a kite, lol.


Well it worked for me when I was younger and not so aware. One was a 20 year relationship even. These days it keeps not working. slow seems better but as a Sag sun, if it’s slow it means there’s not much there chemistry wise. 🤦‍♀️ What to do 😂


Life is hard, ain't it? lol
click to expand
Lol ya. I’d love to go back to the days where I’m in love & not a care in the world 😂😂

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Posted by dilettante
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by dilettante
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by dilettante
Posted by PuzzlePieces
Posted by LittleStar

Hmm. Aqua Venus doesn’t seem to go to with this. I mean they can move fast but I’m not sure about the stopping and starting.

What’s his Moon?


Libra moon. He definitely is all about fairness and things being equal. He’s Aries mars which I think could be responsible for the full speed ahead and not stopping. I think wayyyyyyyy too much cardinal for me. Lol


sun sq moon, moon oppose mars

not chill


You’re right on sun square moon but he doesn’t have moon opposition mars

Definitely not chill though


either way, his moon is at odds w his mars. they act in different ways.


That makes sense. He acts one way, and then he starts getting upset in a way that didn’t jive with actions, and when I don’t just follow along with what he wanted, it blows up. At least, it happened early on.


i have a capricorn / libra square & it fucking sucks
click to expand
Ohh that’s how you know. Sorry to hear that.
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