intellectual stimulation lacking its luster

how important is intellectual stimulation to you in relationships? does it make or break anything?

I'm guessing my Mercury conjunct Venus has to do with this even though it's a wide orb.

I'm feeling guilty, but I used to have very intriguing conversations that always had my wheels turning with the guy I'm currently talking to. as of late, things just aren't pulling me in. I feel like a robot when I reply to him. almost like I'm going through the motions.

he's very busy lately, so I'm trying not to be drastic, but I just wish we could have more interesting conversations. we used to talk about pretty much every subject, from satirical writing to jazz music. from the effect of long-term drug use on a person & their personality. science, religion, politics. you name it, we talked about it.

being stimulated intellectually is very important to me. I like to hear others opinions. expand on them. think about them. I could have a dry conversation or small talk with anyone. it has been dry for maybe a week now. I gave up trying to engage. I'm just going along with the dry flow as of now and it's pretty boring. I'll admit.

in the meantime I've been working on music and keeping myself busy, trying not to think about it. my mental energy has peaked recently. it's like my mind can't slow down. it's constantly working. I can't even sleep recently. so I'm kind of thinking it's just me based on my energy. once I slow back down I'll probably look back on this and realize I was just being hyperactive. everything seems slow lately. I know better than to take it out on him. he just got a new job, so he's pretty focused on that. I just wish he had more time to talk here and there, but I understand.

anyone with strong Mercury feel free to share your experience. or anyone who just likes to engage in lots of conversation. I guess I'm just a chatterbox. I don't overdo it in person, which is kind of weird. but give me a text box or a text message and I'll expand for hours. I love reading and writing. anything that stimulates me in that way is the way to my heart.

I have Sun conjunct Mercury

Moon sextile Mercury

Mercury conjunct Venus

Mercury conjunct Jupiter (barely)

Mercury sq. MC

Mercury sextile Chiron

Posted by tiziani
intellect isn't just limited to talk though is it? 😛 In fact most intellectual pursuits are well beyond conversation imo. Or maybe I lack the words to explain.

Have you shared your music with him and what you're learning right now?

Otherwise it may be an attention thing or wanting to feel like a priority/included which is fair enough as long as, like you said, it doesn't turn into taking it out on the other person.

no! I've been reading myself. my mind is in a tizzy, tiz 😛

I've been reading Oliver Twist.

haha! an attention thing. it could be. I could very well see that. hello, I should be the center of attention of all things. totally joking.

I do sense such a lacking. and I shared it with him, but he didn't listen. the only reason I know he didn't is because he would've said something if he did. he's big on criticism or compliments. it was kind of a let down but at the same time I didn't really care because I didn't want to share it with him originally until it was perfect. he insisted, so I shared. and he didn't capitalize on it.

the convos are dead end. I talk to my brother about more interesting things than with this guy. and all my brother cares about is football!

Mercury conjunct Uranus both in scorpio 5th house

I need good witty conversations with depth.

Posted by Ryoko
Without intellectual stimulation/interest in someone, i can't find someone attractive.

When i see someone i don't find physically attractive--but then his mind engages mine, i start finding him attractive.

And tiziani is right--it's not just about conversations. It doesn't have to be straightforward or logical.

A musician or an artist---those are very intelligent pursuits imo

yes. things used to more...stimulating. just in general. I used to be very engaged and intrigued. he'd even teach me some things. he's a smart guy in general. so that part he has down.

I think tiz is actually right in that maybe it's more of an attention thing. combined with lack of feeling engaged. because in order to be engaged, I have to be getting more attention. the two are probably feeding off one another in my head.

as of late I just find him boring. that's what it comes down to.

yes 🙂 I love my music. he does 3D art himself. we both are a little artsy. but now we never talk about it.

our convos are very stale. I just talk to him less. that's about it. it's almost like he's trying to start a conversation but has nothing to really say. it's not stimulating or interesting. kind of like talking to a brick wall.

I dont like senseless conversation that goes nowhere, I dont think ive had a boyfriend that has stimulated beyond pilliow talk the way I talk with my friends. My friends are always usually smart nerdy types who are well versed in many topics but when I choose a partner they are usually very unconventional weird types I guess its so I dont get bored of them I like to argue and I like satisfying arguments that go places and my last boyfriend it was like arguing with a lummox and we didnt even have angry sex afterwards.

I like to be stimulated and I like seeing peoples thinking processes

Posted by Vixen2
I get bored easily if I'm not stimulated...*yes all forms*

I have a 3rd house stellium in air, Gem mars, Aqua Merc, ...if you can't communicate or speak eloquently....

I don't have Pluto touching my Venus. that's probably a good thing considering I'm already a Scorpio. I'd probably be a living nightmare if I had that combo on top of already being a Scorpio!

I feel like I need that passionate side too. I pretty much need it all. however, recently just the whole stale convo portion isn't working for me. I'd say usually I'm okay with it...but lately I just feel bored. bored and guilty, because he doesn't really deserve boring as a title.

Posted by Ryoko

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Ryoko
Without intellectual stimulation/interest in someone, i can't find someone attractive.

When i see someone i don't find physically attractive--but then his mind engages mine, i start finding him attractive.

And tiziani is right--it's not just about conversations. It doesn't have to be straightforward or logical.

A musician or an artist---those are very intelligent pursuits imo

yes. things used to more...stimulating. just in general. I used to be very engaged and intrigued. he'd even teach me some things. he's a smart guy in general. so that part he has down.

I think tiz is actually right in that maybe it's more of an attention thing. combined with lack of feeling engaged. because in order to be engaged, I have to be getting more attention. the two are probably feeding off one another in my head.

as of late I just find him boring. that's what it comes down to.

yes 🙂 I love my music. he does 3D art himself. we both are a little artsy. but now we never talk about it.

our convos are very stale. I just talk to him less. that's about it. it's almost like he's trying to start a conversation but has nothing to really say. it's not stimulating or interesting. kind of like talking to a brick wall.

Talk to him about it. Or do an activity together that involves action rather than talking and then maybe talk about it afterwards.

Rockclimbing, camping, traveling, sports etc

click to expand

well that is part of the issue too. he's always busy. we hung out last Monday before his new job started. I haven't seen him since. if I ask him to hang out he's like "nah"

however if he asks me, and I'm unable to he becomes moody. it's all on his terms. I'm okay with it, but it creates a bigger gap. we talk everyday, but like I said it's very stale.

to be quite honest, I don't see it lasting much longer. I'll be grateful I knew him though. it was really wonderful at first! very wonderful.

Posted by tiziani
3D work is beautiful, it's just goddamn hard. Takes hours sitting there.

he's incredibly talented with 3D Art. he created this little toy chest for his niece. it's a toy chest but also a chair. very clever. you pull the seat portion toward you (it slides), and it opens up into a toy chest.

he does all kinds of stuff. he made this abandoned house with different textures. he was explaining how you have to find certain textures and then work with them in the artwork. for example, for the wood of the house, he had to find different textures and then different shadings on those textures to create shadows, etc. EXTREMELY interesting stuff. though I don't think he does much with it. he's too focused on his job.

an assistant manager at a suit shop.

Posted by Ryoko

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Ryoko

Posted by degenerate_ingenue

Posted by Ryoko
Without intellectual stimulation/interest in someone, i can't find someone attractive.

When i see someone i don't find physically attractive--but then his mind engages mine, i start finding him attractive.

And tiziani is right--it's not just about conversations. It doesn't have to be straightforward or logical.

A musician or an artist---those are very intelligent pursuits imo

yes. things used to more...stimulating. just in general. I used to be very engaged and intrigued. he'd even teach me some things. he's a smart guy in general. so that part he has down.

I think tiz is actually right in that maybe it's more of an attention thing. combined with lack of feeling engaged. because in order to be engaged, I have to be getting more attention. the two are probably feeding off one another in my head.

as of late I just find him boring. that's what it comes down to.

yes 🙂 I love my music. he does 3D art himself. we both are a little artsy. but now we never talk about it.

our convos are very stale. I just talk to him less. that's about it. it's almost like he's trying to start a conversation but has nothing to really say. it's not stimulating or interesting. kind of like talking to a brick wall.

Talk to him about it. Or do an activity together that involves action rather than talking and then maybe talk about it afterwards.

Rockclimbing, camping, traveling, sports etc

well that is part of the issue too. he's always busy. we hung out last Monday before his new job started. I haven't seen him since. if I ask him to hang out he's like "nah"

however if he asks me, and I'm unable to he becomes moody. it's all on his terms. I'm okay with it, but it creates a bigger gap. we talk everyday, but like I said it's very stale.

to be quite honest, I don't see it lasting much longer. I'll be grateful I knew him though. it was really wonderful at first! very wonderful.

Oh wow a controlling person who is too tired to put in effort.

Both need to try.

Good luck and I would probably let him go if he doesn't want to keep the relationship alive

click to expand

yeah it got to the point where I felt too annoying to ask him to hang out anymore since I "knew he'd say no". he had said no so much in the past I pretty much don't even try now. I still should attempt, but I get tired of hearing no. haha.

he's got a cap Venus and Mars. I will always come second to his job/making money. he's worse than the cap moon/asc I talked to! :p

Posted by tiziani
What you're saying in general about how you feel sounds very normal. Any relationship treated like an afterthought... the connection is not going to survive, intellectual or otherwise.

If you both found out you're not a priority to each other right now, that's not a crime. Like you said, at least you both ventured to find out in the first place.

in regards to your last post, I have faith in your 3D Art endeavors tiz 😛

and as for this post, I agree. it's going to come to a close very soon I feel. I've been kind of ejecting myself ever since I sensed even the conversations aren't as stimulating. I'm bored and disinterested. it makes me slightly sad, because it was beyond great at first.

he's very wrapped up in his job, and that's not a bad thing. however, I think all human beings are capable of balancing work and play. I do it all the time. it's not very difficult for me considering I have two jobs and go to school full time yet I still make time for friends. it just wasn't meant to be. if we can't even really converse, then I don't know what much else there is that we can do.

Yeah I have Sun conjunction Mercury with Mercury Conjuction mars too.

Libra rising

9th house Venus & Gemini

Venus in Gemini

Mercury sextile Venus

Mercury trine Neptune

Mercury sextile Ascendant

Intellectual stimulation does make or break for me, but I'm figuring out ways to level it out a little. As long as they have strong suits in other aspects.. It's my Gem Venus choosing which is more important because they're sorta getting two of me, and I am very against physical/emotional cheating. Someone who's too intellectual may lack in the other department, so I'll weigh my priorities and opt for someone who lacks some of my intellectual intensity. The other is more important in that scenario. I can burn off what's left of my mental energy elsewhere.. Not the other. I'll just sit there and suffer until I announce my exit.