BaeMaxx
@BaeMaxx
3 Years
Comments: 164 Ā· Posts: 418 Ā· Topics: 15
Is it a deal breaker for you if..
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Posted by Jan12girl
I would see it same as being married and now hopefully divorced.
Is that OK for you? Wouldn't you worry that maybe he's non committal hence separating from a live in partner?
Posted by Bumboklaat
Yeah usually not a good sign for me for many reasons, main ones being dependence.
Marriage is just a title and or ceremony, living together is the actual practice IMO.
Dependence in what way?
There are some who are very independent and can manage own their own. I'm one of them and can now happily say I love the freedom without having to be tied down, stalked and followed around by creepy and obsessed women that cant leave me alone anymore.
As for the question I would say of course not. I don't see a problem with it as long as her previous marriage has ended and it's official.
I don't know what it is about me that some women see in me to make them go haywire over me and determine to win me over. I'm over the hill now and I think it's time for them to look pass me for younger dudes. Sorry about that rant but I just needed to get that one out.
As for the question I would say of course not. I don't see a problem with it as long as her previous marriage has ended and it's official.
I don't know what it is about me that some women see in me to make them go haywire over me and determine to win me over. I'm over the hill now and I think it's time for them to look pass me for younger dudes. Sorry about that rant but I just needed to get that one out.
Posted by DragonSagPosted by Jumpin_Jupiter
There are some who are very independent and can manage own their own. I'm one of them and can now happily say I love the freedom without having to be tied down, stalked and followed around by creepy and obsessed women that cant leave me alone anymore.
As for the question I would say of course not. I don't see a problem with it as long as her previous marriage has ended and it's official.
I don't know what it is about me that some women see in me to make them go haywire over me and determine to win me over. I'm over the hill now and I think it's time for them to look pass me for younger dudes. Sorry about that rant but I just needed to get that one out.
The more uninterested you look the more interested they get. Try acting same way towards them and they'll run away most likely lolclick to expand
I can act interesting to those scorpio women and they still seem to like it. Other men can act that way and they'll get uninteresting towards them. They may be sexy but I'm not interesting in having sex with Scorpio women. Though let it be known I'm not interesting in scorpio women in a romantic kind of way. If I act like that towards other women I don't think they'll leave me alone. They will suffocate me to the point of no escaping if anything. Especially cancer and Sag women. They win me over is like hitting the billion dollar jackpot
Posted by DragonSagPosted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by DragonSagI can act interesting to those scorpio women and they still seem to like it. Other men can act that way and they'll get uninteresting towards them. They may be sexy but I'm not interesting in having sex with Scorpio women. Though let it be known I'm not interesting in scorpio women in a romantic kind of way. If I act like that towards other women I don't think they'll leave me alone. They will suffocate me to the point of no escaping if anything. Especially cancer and Sag women. They win me over is like hitting the billion dollar jackpotPosted by Jumpin_Jupiter
There are some who are very independent and can manage own their own. I'm one of them and can now happily say I love the freedom without having to be tied down, stalked and followed around by creepy and obsessed women that cant leave me alone anymore.
As for the question I would say of course not. I don't see a problem with it as long as her previous marriage has ended and it's official.
I don't know what it is about me that some women see in me to make them go haywire over me and determine to win me over. I'm over the hill now and I think it's time for them to look pass me for younger dudes. Sorry about that rant but I just needed to get that one out.
The more uninterested you look the more interested they get. Try acting same way towards them and they'll run away most likely lol
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Make your schedule and give it to them to fit in when to go out with them. That should turn them off for good. Well at least Scorpio and Sagš this is a thing one Gem guy did to Scorp friend and needless to say she crossed him over on her list. I would do the sameš¤·š¼āāļø nothing more repulsive than conceited men, those who ask from you to fit in THEIR schedule and those who think they're special - all of this 100% applies to both Sag and Scorpclick to expand
Oh you asking for me to get slap by a scorpio woman doing that. I'm awkward in scheduling any kind of date with women. You obviously don't know I can come off as a creep to women. That is why I let them do the scheduling. And besides, I'm over with women. They are no longer my interest anymore. I'm happy just staying at home and watch sexy lesbians get it on on pornhub and masturbate to them.
Posted by DragonSagPosted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by DragonSagOh you asking for me to get slap by a scorpio woman doing that. I'm awkward in scheduling any kind of date with women. You obviously don't know I can come off as a creep to women. That is why I let them do the scheduling. And besides, I'm over with women. They are no longer my interest anymore. I'm happy just staying at home and watch sexy lesbians get it on on pornhub and masturbate to them.Posted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by DragonSagPosted by Jumpin_Jupiter
There are some who are very independent and can manage own their own. I'm one of them and can now happily say I love the freedom without having to be tied down, stalked and followed around by creepy and obsessed women that cant leave me alone anymore.
As for the question I would say of course not. I don't see a problem with it as long as her previous marriage has ended and it's official.
I don't know what it is about me that some women see in me to make them go haywire over me and determine to win me over. I'm over the hill now and I think it's time for them to look pass me for younger dudes. Sorry about that rant but I just needed to get that one out.
The more uninterested you look the more interested they get. Try acting same way towards them and they'll run away most likely lol
click to expand
I can act interesting to those scorpio women and they still seem to like it. Other men can act that way and they'll get uninteresting towards them. They may be sexy but I'm not interesting in having sex with Scorpio women. Though let it be known I'm not interesting in scorpio women in a romantic kind of way. If I act like that towards other women I don't think they'll leave me alone. They will suffocate me to the point of no escaping if anything. Especially cancer and Sag women. They win me over is like hitting the billion dollar jackpot
Make your schedule and give it to them to fit in when to go out with them. That should turn them off for good. Well at least Scorpio and Sagš this is a thing one Gem guy did to Scorp friend and needless to say she crossed him over on her list. I would do the sameš¤·š¼āāļø nothing more repulsive than conceited men, those who ask from you to fit in THEIR schedule and those who think they're special - all of this 100% applies to both Sag and Scorp
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Nope, do the opposite. Pretend to be pretentious and boastful, with busy schedule (even if it's a fake one and it's not you at all) and let them fit in with it. That is if you really want to turn them off for good, not to actually go out with them. Scorps are fixed signs and they don't do well being bossed around - and having them to fit in within your schedule comes under terms of being bossed around. It's a sure turn off for themclick to expand
Oh ok I got you now
hmm i'm the first he's ever lived with.
but tbh i don't really see why there should be a problem if i weren't. things don't work out sometimes. we just keep moving on š¤·āāš¤·āā
but tbh i don't really see why there should be a problem if i weren't. things don't work out sometimes. we just keep moving on š¤·āāš¤·āā
Quite the contrary....I would see it as a potential red flag if the person is over 35 and has NOT lived with a significant other yet. As older someone gets, as set in their ways they become. To the point that the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" dully applies š
I find it more of a red flag if they have lived with every ex they have ever had over the years as opposed to one ex for 8 years.
As you get older though, things like that mean less and less cause people had lives before they met you.
As you get older though, things like that mean less and less cause people had lives before they met you.
8 years is a long term relationship.. so donāt see how that would be a problem? Itās a sign they can have a long term relationship.
Why didnāt they get married? Thatās the real question.. and are you worried about values or someone being worried about a commitment/aka wanting to get married?
I personally have only lived with 2 guys & both I married.. but living together came first.
Why didnāt they get married? Thatās the real question.. and are you worried about values or someone being worried about a commitment/aka wanting to get married?
I personally have only lived with 2 guys & both I married.. but living together came first.
People don't get married for different reasons. I know someone who watched their parents go through a crappy divorce and so he doesn't want to get married for that reason.
It's really up to the individual and what the two people in the relationship compromise on.
Living together without being married is very common in the states, so I wouldn't see it as a red flag at all.
It's really up to the individual and what the two people in the relationship compromise on.
Living together without being married is very common in the states, so I wouldn't see it as a red flag at all.
Yeah this has got to be a culture thing cause I would never judge someone for having lived with an ex. Now if they are still currently living with said ex and trying to date me, now that's a different story.
But if we are talking used to live with someone they dated, well my brain wouldn't automatically go to 'can't commit' and 'doesn't want marriage' when the reality is far more likely that the reason was financial. Life is expensive and not everyone has the luxury to live alone.
But if we are talking used to live with someone they dated, well my brain wouldn't automatically go to 'can't commit' and 'doesn't want marriage' when the reality is far more likely that the reason was financial. Life is expensive and not everyone has the luxury to live alone.
Posted by Saturn_Returns
This thread is a joke, right?
As long as your date isn't still living with their ex, I really don't see what the issue is.
100% agree
They also used to live with their parents and couldnāt do long math but the past is the past
Posted by MonaLisa26Posted by DragonSagPosted by Jumpin_JupiterThe more uninterested you look the more interested they get. Try acting same way towards them and they'll run away most likely lol
There are some who are very independent and can manage own their own. I'm one of them and can now happily say I love the freedom without having to be tied down, stalked and followed around by creepy and obsessed women that cant leave me alone anymore.
As for the question I would say of course not. I don't see a problem with it as long as her previous marriage has ended and it's official.
I don't know what it is about me that some women see in me to make them go haywire over me and determine to win me over. I'm over the hill now and I think it's time for them to look pass me for younger dudes. Sorry about that rant but I just needed to get that one out.
ISNT THERE WAY to NOT TO SEE posts of muted people?
I didnāt know it was JJs post and I see it and read it and feeling nauseated and scrolling UP to see which the ugly moron written itā¦and MTFKER JJ that was!!!
HOW CAN I NOT SEE HIM EVEN WHEN QUOTEDā š¤®click to expand
You know gemitati you need to stop with the bullshit. If my posts make you so sick the next step is to delete your account. I'm getting tired of you and your bullshit. You easily make dxp an unpleasant place to be. Next time I'm gone start doing some digging up on your post history and report you for all the harassing posts you've made towards every users on here.
Posted by Tamez
Yes that would affect me because first thing comes to mind is he still clapping those cheeks. I would rather for her to stay with her family than her ex.
I think the question was if the ex had ever lived with someone else not that they're still currently staying there. š
Wow to me this is the same level as have your ex slept with anyone else before you. š
I don't see what the big issue is. So they've lived with someone else before you and the relationship didn't work out. They're not living there anymore so what's the issue. I would have more issues with someone being divorced several times. Then the marriage and wovs become a joke instead.
I don't see what the big issue is. So they've lived with someone else before you and the relationship didn't work out. They're not living there anymore so what's the issue. I would have more issues with someone being divorced several times. Then the marriage and wovs become a joke instead.
No
Posted by Saturn_Returns
This thread is a joke, right?
As long as your date isn't still living with their ex, I really don't see what the issue is.
It's not a joke lol its a serious thread. Like I mentioned, a culture thing too. I think in some cultures in Asia, its not acceptable for a woman to move out and live with a boyfriend until marriage. But in other parts of the world (based on people's responses here) it seems not the case which is interesting!
Posted by BumboklaatPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by BumboklaatDependence in what way?
Yeah usually not a good sign for me for many reasons, main ones being dependence.
Marriage is just a title and or ceremony, living together is the actual practice IMO.
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IMO being with someone and not making it official is suspicious/doubtful. Those type of people usually just have commitment issues but want to have all the advantages of being committed.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of marriage in the legal way but as I've said before, if you're living together, you're basically married, you're living out a marriage, regardless of the title. Its like fwb is basically a boyfriend/girlfriend, its even in the name.
I've noticed those types of people that live together without being married are dependent types in general, they're opportunists and irresponsible in general, they lack conviction. Marriage is sacrifice, balance, conviction, dedication. Its hard work.
But that's my Cap Venus, Aries 7th house talking.click to expand
This is what Asian parents would say haha. If you have the courage to live together and potentially get you pregnant, might as well get married now. Lol
Posted by virgoOPPP
hmm i'm the first he's ever lived with.
but tbh i don't really see why there should be a problem if i weren't. things don't work out sometimes. we just keep moving on š¤·āāš¤·āā
That is true!
Posted by DragonSag
Ten years ago I had a lot of deal breakers. Now not so much. Not because of slim pickings, but because of growing up and realizing life happens. People had lives before us and they have them with us and will have them without us too. So no, for me it's not a deal breaker and I live the same way. Ten years ago I also found it as a deal breaker if some has children or is divorced and now it's not. I'd even prefer them to have children already...so things change and so do opinions. Life makes us grow up
I agree. When I was young, I used to have so many deal breakers as well. But it was mostly because in my culture there are so many things you're not allowed to do for the sake of reputation. You might think this is extreme but if an unmarried woman lives with her boyfriend back in the day and they break up, the woman is considered damaged goods. Everyone knows you both had sex already. But living in a foreign country, I see and hear about so many people living together before marriage and it's such an eye opener. Thinking about it though, I don't know which way to go as a parent haha. Like when my son is all grown up, would I be ok that he lives with his girlfriend before marriage or would I not? š
Posted by originalsanch
No, but I'd find your insecurity to be a deal breaker.
Oh geez thanks I find your response rude and assuming. Please get a life.
Posted by poppyflowerPosted by BaeMaxx
Your current partner used to live with her/his ex? I'm from a very Conservative background so this is somewhat a deal breaker in my culture but I'm curious how other people see it.
Say you're dating a girl now and she told you she lived with her ex for 8 or so years, would that affect how you see her? And how about for girls, would you be open to date a man who lived with his ex for many years (like practically married but not)?
Yeah I'm open to date them, as long as they are not still living with their ex after they met me. I think the whole getting married before moving in may not really be a thing here.click to expand
Yeah I noticed that. Times have changed a lot when it comes to this sort of thing. Back in the day, living together without marrying is frowned upon in my country. And it's usually bad for the woman than the man. Where I live now, it's not just a trend. It's a way of life. There are more young people cohabiting, living life as a married couple including having a child, buying a house and such.
Posted by PuzzlePieces
8 years is a long term relationship.. so donāt see how that would be a problem? Itās a sign they can have a long term relationship.
Why didnāt they get married? Thatās the real question.. and are you worried about values or someone being worried about a commitment/aka wanting to get married?
I personally have only lived with 2 guys & both I married.. but living together came first.
To be clear, this thread isn't for me. I'm married lol
I honestly dunno why they didn't get married. I just saw on insta that my friend shared a photo kissing another guy. She was living with her ex for so long in a penthouse. Even had a dog. She did tell me before that she felt all her friends are getting married except her. So it might be a reason? She's Russian and the guy was from Sri Lanka. Her new man is Australian.
Posted by saggurl88
People don't get married for different reasons. I know someone who watched their parents go through a crappy divorce and so he doesn't want to get married for that reason.
It's really up to the individual and what the two people in the relationship compromise on.
Living together without being married is very common in the states, so I wouldn't see it as a red flag at all.
Do people register their relationship in the states? Like de facto for example? Here in Australia, you can register so pretty much like civil marriage. However, the same thing doesn't exist in my country. Its only either married or single.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Yeah this has got to be a culture thing cause I would never judge someone for having lived with an ex. Now if they are still currently living with said ex and trying to date me, now that's a different story.
But if we are talking used to live with someone they dated, well my brain wouldn't automatically go to 'can't commit' and 'doesn't want marriage' when the reality is far more likely that the reason was financial. Life is expensive and not everyone has the luxury to live alone.
Yep. Definitely a culture thing!
True. It is expensive to live alone! Would that be OK for you though that it is the only reason he lives with you vs actually seeing a future with you?
Posted by Jan12girlPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by Jan12girlIs that OK for you? Wouldn't you worry that maybe he's non committal hence separating from a live in partner?
I would see it same as being married and now hopefully divorced.
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Some part of me would think that yes but I would rather see what I gauge of the person irrespective of the past. I think people should be seen as individuals having different experiences in life. Different people can have different reasons for coming out of a relationship be it live in or marriage or neither.
It takes great commitment to make any relationship last for ever but it may also be wise to come out of it if itās not working so neither can be a warning sign. And yes people repeat their patterns of life if they have not learned their lesson so yes that could be a warning sign .I would also be more worried about the baggage carried in the heart by someone who comes out of a long relationship, or emotionally struck there .
I would be very clear about what I look for in future if itās commitment or not . Most times people let you know what their intentions are , if you are paying attention.
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That's a great way to put it. I think being clear about intentions would be so important.
Posted by Timone
Wow to me this is the same level as have your ex slept with anyone else before you. š
I don't see what the big issue is. So they've lived with someone else before you and the relationship didn't work out. They're not living there anymore so what's the issue. I would have more issues with someone being divorced several times. Then the marriage and wovs become a joke instead.
Wouldn't you consider them the same as divorced many times if they lived with several partners but never married any of them? Like not just lived but I'm talking lived, joint bank accounts etc. All things without the marriage docs.
Posted by 1917191
Key word is "used to" - not a deal breaker. But if they are currently living with the ex, I would probably avoid. I primarily just don't want the ex bothering me, I don't need the drama.
That's true. Holy crap. If they still live with an ex after the breakup there must br some serious money or property involved that they can't divide up haha that will be crazy
Posted by BaeMaxxPosted by saggurl88
People don't get married for different reasons. I know someone who watched their parents go through a crappy divorce and so he doesn't want to get married for that reason.
It's really up to the individual and what the two people in the relationship compromise on.
Living together without being married is very common in the states, so I wouldn't see it as a red flag at all.
Do people register their relationship in the states? Like de facto for example? Here in Australia, you can register so pretty much like civil marriage. However, the same thing doesn't exist in my country. Its only either married or single.click to expand
I think in the U.S. more people live with each other first and then get married. It's not uncommon to do that here. The people doing domestic partnerships are usually the LGBT communities where marriage isn't legal in their state yet.
Some states also have common law marriage-
A common law marriage is a legally recognized marriage between two people who have not purchased a marriage license or had their marriage solemnized by a ceremony. Not all states have statutes addressing common law marriage. In some states case law and public policy determine validity.
Posted by BaeMaxx
Your current partner used to live with her/his ex? I'm from a very Conservative background so this is somewhat a deal breaker in my culture but I'm curious how other people see it.
Say you're dating a girl now and she told you she lived with her ex for 8 or so years, would that affect how you see her? And how about for girls, would you be open to date a man who lived with his ex for many years (like practically married but not)?
it wouldnāt be a deal breaker for me. i would actually prefer someone who was in a long term relationship over someone who was single for many years and had a different person in their house every week lol š (random flings)
Posted by BaeMaxxPosted by LadyNeptune
Yeah this has got to be a culture thing cause I would never judge someone for having lived with an ex. Now if they are still currently living with said ex and trying to date me, now that's a different story.
But if we are talking used to live with someone they dated, well my brain wouldn't automatically go to 'can't commit' and 'doesn't want marriage' when the reality is far more likely that the reason was financial. Life is expensive and not everyone has the luxury to live alone.
Yep. Definitely a culture thing!
True. It is expensive to live alone! Would that be OK for you though that it is the only reason he lives with you vs actually seeing a future with you?click to expand
Of course not! But that's kinda weird to think someone cons you into a relationship with the sole purpose to split utility bills. Very few people would enter fake relationships just to find someone to share rent with. Its literally less effort to just find roomies, very little work needed.
I'm just saying finances is a big part of why people move in together. Can't look past that very obvious truth.
Posted by originalsanchPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by originalsanchOh geez thanks I find your response rude and assuming. Please get a life.
No, but I'd find your insecurity to be a deal breaker.
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oh geez thanks I dont really care.click to expand
Then why are you here lol no one invited you
Posted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by Saturn_ReturnsIt's not a joke lol its a serious thread. Like I mentioned, a culture thing too. I think in some cultures in Asia, its not acceptable for a woman to move out and live with a boyfriend until marriage. But in other parts of the world (based on people's responses here) it seems not the case which is interesting!
This thread is a joke, right?
As long as your date isn't still living with their ex, I really don't see what the issue is.
click to expand
But dxp isn't an exclusive forum for the Asian community, so you've targeted the wrong audience.
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I know it isn't. That's why I asked for a broader perspective. If I only ask the Asian community, we will likely have heard the same persepctive from our parents. Whereas asking people from a different upbringing will shed some light on things we weren't accustomed to. It's quite good as I know we are all from somewhere else.
Posted by originalsanchPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by originalsanchOh geez thanks I find your response rude and assuming. Please get a life.
No, but I'd find your insecurity to be a deal breaker.
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Mad respect for telling me how you really feel and for not making some passive aggressive post though lol LIKE SOME PUSSY WOULD DO...cough*click to expand
ššššš Confirming I am female so what you're saying is not entirely wrong lol
Posted by serenidadPosted by BaeMaxx
Your current partner used to live with her/his ex? I'm from a very Conservative background so this is somewhat a deal breaker in my culture but I'm curious how other people see it.
Say you're dating a girl now and she told you she lived with her ex for 8 or so years, would that affect how you see her? And how about for girls, would you be open to date a man who lived with his ex for many years (like practically married but not)?
it wouldnāt be a deal breaker for me. i would actually prefer someone who was in a long term relationship over someone who was single for many years and had a different person in their house every week lol š (random flings)click to expand
Hahaha like the tinder blokes who is there every week lololol that makes a lot of sense!
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by BaeMaxxPosted by LadyNeptuneYep. Definitely a culture thing!
Yeah this has got to be a culture thing cause I would never judge someone for having lived with an ex. Now if they are still currently living with said ex and trying to date me, now that's a different story.
But if we are talking used to live with someone they dated, well my brain wouldn't automatically go to 'can't commit' and 'doesn't want marriage' when the reality is far more likely that the reason was financial. Life is expensive and not everyone has the luxury to live alone.
True. It is expensive to live alone! Would that be OK for you though that it is the only reason he lives with you vs actually seeing a future with you?
click to expand
Of course not! But that's kinda weird to think someone cons you into a relationship with the sole purpose to split utility bills. Very few people would enter fake relationships just to find someone to share rent with. Its literally less effort to just find roomies, very little work needed.
I'm just saying finances is a big part of why people move in together. Can't look past that very obvious truth.
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Hahaha omg that reminds me of the guy on Tinder... What was that... Tinder Swindler!!!! Haha ahhh but he never really lived with them. Or did he? Bugger. I need to watch it again lolol definitely agree with you on the finances. Everything is expensive now and quite honestly, I find that living together is an economical way to be able to save money. Like if I'm not with my husband, I think I won't be able to put aside as much because food costs a lot, mortgage rates are horrific and then also paying for a car and the rates. Now everything is split in half. For single people, it must be quite hard. But also... Getting married is so expensive now.
No, I'm 32. It's not a supprise to me that people likely lived with other people at this point. I'm not expecting to find some gem of a human who lived alone through their late teens, and entire 20s, completly untouched from other men or women, and now I just happened to find them. Even if I did, I wouldn't trust it, and would find it pretty sus. Like do genuine people like that actually exist? Actually now that I think about it, it's probably more likely now then ever since people don't go out and really date anymore.
also wanna add that, i think living with a s/o without the intention of eventually marrying them is a little shady to me. if i'm living with someone, i def have marriage on my mind.
so i guess i kinda agree with your conservative views afterall haha
so i guess i kinda agree with your conservative views afterall haha
Posted by Soul
No, I'm 32. It's not a supprise to me that people likely lived with other people at this point. I'm not expecting to find some gem of a human who lived alone through their late teens, and entire 20s, completly untouched from other men or women, and now I just happened to find them. Even if I did, I wouldn't trust it, and would find it pretty sus. Like do genuine people like that actually exist? Actually now that I think about it, it's probably more likely now then ever since people don't go out and really date anymore.
People don't date anymore. They just swipe right! Haha. True though. It would be more sus if they haven't had any serious rs in the past
Posted by serenidad
also wanna add that, i think living with a s/o without the intention of eventually marrying them is a little shady to me. if i'm living with someone, i def have marriage on my mind.
so i guess i kinda agree with your conservative views afterall haha
Haha! I don't have much opinion on this. My upbringing was different and then I moved away since I was in my 20's and never came back home. In a general sense, it was good that I did because there are a million ways to live and still be content vs staying in one place and just going with whatever the norm is.
Posted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by Saturn_ReturnsI know it isn't. That's why I asked for a broader perspective. If I only ask the Asian community, we will likely have heard the same persepctive from our parents. Whereas asking people from a different upbringing will shed some light on things we weren't accustomed to. It's quite good as I know we are all from somewhere else.Posted by BaeMaxxPosted by Saturn_Returns
This thread is a joke, right?
As long as your date isn't still living with their ex, I really don't see what the issue is.
It's not a joke lol its a serious thread. Like I mentioned, a culture thing too. I think in some cultures in Asia, its not acceptable for a woman to move out and live with a boyfriend until marriage. But in other parts of the world (based on people's responses here) it seems not the case which is interesting!
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But dxp isn't an exclusive forum for the Asian community, so you've targeted the wrong audience.
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Rubbish!
The only different perspectives you'll get will be from the strict religious types who don't believe in co-habiting before marriage.
Going through this thread, the replies are pretty predictable, making this discussion very redundant (well, on dxp anyway). Of course, you won't admit to that.
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Are there extreme religious dxp members? My mind is blown. And if the discussion is redundant, that's fine. I've got time today. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I dont think it's a problem.
Posted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by Saturn_ReturnsAre there extreme religious dxp members? My mind is blown. And if the discussion is redundant, that's fine. I've got time today. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I dont think it's a problem.Posted by BaeMaxxPosted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by Saturn_Returns
This thread is a joke, right?
As long as your date isn't still living with their ex, I really don't see what the issue is.
It's not a joke lol its a serious thread. Like I mentioned, a culture thing too. I think in some cultures in Asia, its not acceptable for a woman to move out and live with a boyfriend until marriage. But in other parts of the world (based on people's responses here) it seems not the case which is interesting!
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But dxp isn't an exclusive forum for the Asian community, so you've targeted the wrong audience.
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I know it isn't. That's why I asked for a broader perspective. If I only ask the Asian community, we will likely have heard the same persepctive from our parents. Whereas asking people from a different upbringing will shed some light on things we weren't accustomed to. It's quite good as I know we are all from somewhere else.
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Rubbish!
The only different perspectives you'll get will be from the strict religious types who don't believe in co-habiting before marriage.
Going through this thread, the replies are pretty predictable, making this discussion very redundant (well, on dxp anyway). Of course, you won't admit to that.
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Strictly religious or brainwashed into believing the scam that is called marriage, take your pick.
Maybe your next thread should ask why water is wet.
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Thread is open for people who want to talk about what they think. If you're not contributing but rather criticising why I made the thread, you're free to leave. No one forced you to read or participate. I'm sure there are other threads much more worth your time. Thanks.
Posted by BaeMaxxPosted by serenidad
also wanna add that, i think living with a s/o without the intention of eventually marrying them is a little shady to me. if i'm living with someone, i def have marriage on my mind.
so i guess i kinda agree with your conservative views afterall haha
Haha! I don't have much opinion on this. My upbringing was different and then I moved away since I was in my 20's and never came back home. In a general sense, it was good that I did because there are a million ways to live and still be content vs staying in one place and just going with whatever the norm is.click to expand
itās ācause when i was a teen, i got told repeatedly by my dad that itās wrong to lead someone on so i guess thatās why i kinda developed this mindset of āif i live with someone, i have to take full responsibility for their future and well being.ā lol
but yeah back to the topic though, i wouldnāt care at all if they used to live with an ex lol
Posted by BaeMaxxPosted by Timone
Wow to me this is the same level as have your ex slept with anyone else before you. š
I don't see what the big issue is. So they've lived with someone else before you and the relationship didn't work out. They're not living there anymore so what's the issue. I would have more issues with someone being divorced several times. Then the marriage and wovs become a joke instead.
Wouldn't you consider them the same as divorced many times if they lived with several partners but never married any of them? Like not just lived but I'm talking lived, joint bank accounts etc. All things without the marriage docs.click to expand
I'm more interested in why the relationship failed and why they keep moving in with someone so many times. Marriage is just a piece of paper for me soš¤·.
Ironically its probably the opposite for western cultures, surely for white folks. You get kicked out of the house when your 18 and financially cut off (varies tho). Most people would view it a deal breaker if your still living at home with your parents when you are in your 20s. And that's super common for other cultures so this is for sure just a culture thing.
And honestly preference is preference. Dating is not a human right. If someone doesn't float your boat its all good, onto the next.
And honestly preference is preference. Dating is not a human right. If someone doesn't float your boat its all good, onto the next.
Posted by BaeMaxx
Your current partner used to live with her/his ex? I'm from a very Conservative background so this is somewhat a deal breaker in my culture but I'm curious how other people see it.
Say you're dating a girl now and she told you she lived with her ex for 8 or so years, would that affect how you see her? And how about for girls, would you be open to date a man who lived with his ex for many years (like practically married but not)?
I donāt get the question
Like lived with them while broken up
Cuz of course if Ther
Y weāre dating obvious at some point live together
Posted by BumboklaatPosted by BaeMaxxPosted by BumboklaatDependence in what way?
Yeah usually not a good sign for me for many reasons, main ones being dependence.
Marriage is just a title and or ceremony, living together is the actual practice IMO.
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IMO being with someone and not making it official is suspicious/doubtful. Those type of people usually just have commitment issues but want to have all the advantages of being committed.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of marriage in the legal way but as I've said before, if you're living together, you're basically married, you're living out a marriage, regardless of the title. Its like fwb is basically a boyfriend/girlfriend, its even in the name.
I've noticed those types of people that live together without being married are dependent types in general, they're opportunists and irresponsible in general, they lack conviction. Marriage is sacrifice, balance, conviction, dedication. Its hard work.
But that's my Cap Venus, Aries 7th house talking.click to expand
Low Iāve seen them being highly responsible financially , purchased properties together ect
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