Is It Possible To Love 2 Men At Once?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by TheLadySagittarius on Thursday, April 7, 2011 and has 26 replies.
Has any lady experienced this? What did you decide to do about it?
I am sure it is, but ultimately I think it is admiration of qualities in one or the other. I can't say I've ever honestly felt like this though. I have tunnel vision. i.e. I see one in the arena of romantic love. I can love many people, and do. But love is reserved for one and one alone.
Mmm should define and polish that a bit, gel the thought. I meant that flow from woman to man. I can look at a friend and say "Love ya man". But that is from one human to another, not the same as what is to all intents and purposes mine, and mine alone.
Love is the most unique, profound experience a person can have ..... and then used in the most common, unmoving context imaginable.
It's a dishonor to the word to use it so casually for so many things.
You ask a question that cannot be answered, for two people would have to be the exact same in order to love them exactly the same ....
It's a dishonor to the word to use it so casually for so many things.
You ask a question that cannot be answered, for two people would have to be the exact same in order to love them exactly the same ....
I dont believe you can, you can love one and be in love with another but I don't see being "in love" with more than one
doesn't work in my world.
doesn't work in my world.
Posted by QLIbraMale
I'd sure as HELL like to know the reasons ladies. HELL my last 5 girlfriends i've dated had convent amnesia and forgot to mention they had a boyfriend lol.
That is because they are twits. You don't misplace a man like a set of keys for heavens sakes. "Woooooops! What was that there? Oh yeh! I have another, my definite bad." Someone needs flogged.
It's impossible to give the same deovtion to two people at the same time given the social construction of what love is supposed to be and look like in our society. It would be very confusing to say the least. Altough people who say you can only love ONE person I believe are living in a romantic bubble. You can love two people, only eventually you'll probalby want to limit yourself to one. Love is complicated enough as it is.
I am in love with everyone 
Honestly though, I believe no, it's a one person kinda deal
Being "in love" takes a tremendous amount of time & energy..all things that it's hard enough to give to just ONE freakin person.
Do I think it's possible? No. And I say that b/c to be in love means to have the ability to give your complete all to 1 person. And obviously, you're only 1 person; you can't give your all to 2 different people at the same exact level that they'd deserve. If you're giving your all to 1 person, it's inevitable that the other person won't get all of you. You can't be 2 places at once, emotionally or physically. Plus, there's almost always some element of dishonesty, deceit, or denial present when a person tries to juggle more than 1 person at a time.
We all know though that a person can feel many DIFFERENT TYPES of love for many individuals at the same time. It's possible to love 34 family members all at once & with the same intensity but being "in love" with more than 1 person? Naw, I don't believe in.
Do I think it's possible? No. And I say that b/c to be in love means to have the ability to give your complete all to 1 person. And obviously, you're only 1 person; you can't give your all to 2 different people at the same exact level that they'd deserve. If you're giving your all to 1 person, it's inevitable that the other person won't get all of you. You can't be 2 places at once, emotionally or physically. Plus, there's almost always some element of dishonesty, deceit, or denial present when a person tries to juggle more than 1 person at a time.
We all know though that a person can feel many DIFFERENT TYPES of love for many individuals at the same time. It's possible to love 34 family members all at once & with the same intensity but being "in love" with more than 1 person? Naw, I don't believe in.
Thanks to everyone's insight. I think that it is possible to have romantic love for 2 men/woman. I am not sure if both are true love at the time, it may seem like it is.
@Krys I agree that one(or yourself) will definitely suffer because you cannot give your all to both.
@Krys I agree that one(or yourself) will definitely suffer because you cannot give your all to both.
Yes, it is possible to love and have romantic feelings towards two people at the same time but I don't think it's possible to have a relationship with two people at the same time. My final conclusion. This thread is so Sag
Posted by enfant_terrible
Yes, it is possible to love and have romantic feelings towards two people at the same time but I don't think it's possible to have a relationship with two people at the same time. My final conclusion. This thread is so Sag
You're right Enfant, it is quite a Saggie thread..lol
Posted by Lena282
I have and I decided to not do anything about it. When the heart is screwing you over it's time to turn to the brain for support. I stuck with the person I knew was better for me.
Yes Lena! Everyone thinks they should be with the one they love the most, but it should be the one they can picture spending the rest of their lives with.
I personally think its impossible.
You mean two men's money?
Posted by mr.crabby
You mean two men's money?
No, because having money isn't always the reason why a woman falls in love..
I think it is very possible, and there are plenty of examples of it working in the real world.
Here is some food for thought that may open your mind to other possibilities, though probably not as most people seem so close minded on here:
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html
- Scroll about halfway down the page, and read over the Core Beliefs part. Very interesting.
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/open.html
Let me know what you think.
Here is some food for thought that may open your mind to other possibilities, though probably not as most people seem so close minded on here:
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html
- Scroll about halfway down the page, and read over the Core Beliefs part. Very interesting.
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/open.html
Let me know what you think.
Posted by everevolvingepithetPosted by domanb
I think it is very possible, and there are plenty of examples of it working in the real world.
Here is some food for thought that may open your mind to other possibilities, though probably not as most people seem so close minded on here:
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html
- Scroll about halfway down the page, and read over the Core Beliefs part. Very interesting.
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/open.html
Let me know what you think.
I think it's well put together and well written, by I still like my way, as in 'mine!' and the feeling being mutualclick to expand
I agree..no way could I imagine my guy with another woman and agree to it..
^ No way. That asssssssssssss is mine, this asssssssss is yours, and round we go.
Of course it's possible. If it wasn't, I couldn't have done it...but I did. I was in love with 2 men at once. It wasn't possible for me to give them both the attention they deserved, however.
I think it is possible, I have been in this situation a couple of times. I will be dating one person and things start to go bad and I always seems to meet someone else who does everything that first person don't or won't do and there you have it you start falling for the second guy. You are not ready to end things with the first guy cause he might change or you have some time invested but the second guy is doing all the right things and you start to develope strong feelings for that second person.
Posted by enfant_terrible
Yes, it is possible to love and have romantic feelings towards two people at the same time but I don't think it's possible to have a relationship with two people at the same time.
Yes, you took the words right out of my mouth!
Although I get that being in a relationship with someone we're in love with may not be the best decision, BUT I also feel that the whole point of falling in love is to advance into a relationship. And since it's impossible to have 2 relationships going at the same time w/o cheating OR atleast cheating 1 or both people out of "SOMETHING," I don't believe that being in love with 2 people is as rewarding OR as possible as it is with just 1 person.
Being in love with 1 person is awesome & takes alot out of you. But 2 people? I'd imagine that it'd be ore draining than anything else. Hell, it's hard enough to fall in love with AND keep just 1 person, let alone have to give all of yourself to 2 people. Plus, it's rare that the 2 people you're in love with will actually be OK with ya being in love with 2 people lol so ultimately, I forsee more problems more than anything else with these kinds of situations
Nope.
Posted by pyewacketPosted by TheLadySagittariusPosted by Lena282
I have and I decided to not do anything about it. When the heart is screwing you over it's time to turn to the brain for support. I stuck with the person I knew was better for me.
Yes Lena! Everyone thinks they should be with the one they love the most, but it should be the one they can picture spending the rest of their lives with.
I disagree. I don't settle. If I don't feel the most passionate about the person then I won't be with that person. Also I don't think it's fair to the person you are settling with. I rather have a genuine love affair be it lengthy or short than a lukewarm security blanket.click to expand
Interesting, so even if you knew you would be hurt, you would not go with the man who you knew was in for the long haul?
I agree with what you stated if you are young. But as you get older, I think the better fit makes sense..
Signed Up: Apr 11, 2011
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
Comments: 5 · Posts: 892 · Topics: 25
To the point where I'm undecided about it? I don't know..I don't think you can have strong feelings for two people..maybe one is an obligatory steady love after the feelings have cooled and the other is a new passionate feeling over someone new..but the same intensity? Nah. It'd be too much energy, for me. Plus I'd always go for the former.
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