Jehovah's Witness?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by LillyPetal on Thursday, December 3, 2015 and has 37 replies.
I'm going to keep this brief (but fail.) One day, months ago, while minding my own business, reading at the bus station, a guy approached me and introduced himself. Since that moment, he would chat every time he saw me. My wording is not by accident when I write "he would chat..." because I did the typical LillyPetal thing of "just because we spoke that time, doesn't mean we have to speak every time." But he would see me, get up from wherever he was seated, and sit by me to chat. Fine. I allowed it. Then things got weird. From the get-go I knew this man was serious about his religious beliefs because he always worked them into conversation. He went as far as to give me a Jehovah's Witness book with questions and answers about his faith; he even had pamphlets that read 'How do you see the end of the world?' Things like that. Because I have a religious background, I thought nothing of it and kind of accepted what he was trying to share. He had been in jail before, and he explained how finding Jehovah has helped him, so I figured his emotions were still raw and he couldn't help but show his passion.

My patience wore thin the day I mentioned how we could be friends, weeks after our interacting first began. I was beginning to enjoy the guy's company, and it was irritating that we only saw each other at 6:00AM at the bus station as he was finishing his work and I was beginning my day at work. When I made mention of friendship, he began to act strangely. I could tell he distanced himself in that moment. I shrugged it off and went about life. One day, after our usual conversation, he did something he never did before - he touched me. Not in the creepy uncle way, but in the "we have been speaking for some time now, and I just realized we haven't broken the physical barrier yet and your nails are painted today and they look especially cute so I would like to feel your soft hands in a gentle handshake." It was weird. Because it seemed as though I stared at his outstretched hand for eternity before taking it, and he kind of handled my hand like it was glass.

Later that week, I received an e-mail from him (he asked for my e-mail.) In it, he sent me links about what marriage is to a Jehovah's Witness. Roh oh. I looked at it and thought that we shared similarities. You know that lingering feeling that something is strange but then you shrug it off because you yourself are such a weirdo? I was in that frame of mind.
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Another day, and he tells me he needs to speak to me. Instead of taking the bus home, he elects to ride with me. Unusual. Girls get silly when they begin to like a guy, and I don't mean romantically, I just mean in the simple sense - I trust you to not rape me, sense. The biggest sign of this is that we initiate breaking the physical barrier. My brain made note of how I would tap on his arm as I explained something I was particularly excited about, like the chem lab I did the other day. He seemed colder and more closed off than usual. My stop approaches, and he suggests we get off so we could walk the rest of the way to my workplace. I thing it's odd but agree. As we walk, I look up at the sky and admire the stars. He briefly humors me before asking me, "What does it mean to be a friend?" "Huh?" "A friend? What is that to you?" "Umm..." I begin to fumble my words. "A friend is someone you can talk to, someone you hang out with, someone you eat with, someone you try new things with, umm, someone you can confide in...?" I begin to feel embarrassed because I feel so corny. Suddenly, I feel myself shrinking. I feel like that whenever I am particularly self-conscious and don't want people to realize I exist. I begin to twist the edges of my sleeves over my hands and bite my lip and look away...I want to implode into my own stomach and be digested by my own stomach acids. What is happening? He begins to slow down as we approach my workplace. He then turns to me and basically tells me that Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe that men and women can be friends because nature eventually takes over as they begin to develop feelings for each other. He tells me that JW's also don't date in the sense that society encourages people to; he said that their version of dating is not living the married life prior to a lawful commitment, that JW's "date" when they are serious about becoming marriage partners. I am dumbfounded. I tell him, "Okay, but we will do this knowing we will just be friends." "And if either of us begins to catch feelings?" "Then we stop being friends." "I don't want to do that, LillyPetal." I need to go to start my shift, so we end the conversation. I'm confused.
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So, time goes by, and it becomes clear from his following communications that he was giving me an ultimatum: either convert to being a JW's so that he and I can be friends and possibly marry, or for us to not be friends. I am hurt because I felt rejected for being who I am, but I am livid because I feel as though he duped me in some way. He knew I wasn't a JW after all, so why bother with me? So, naturally, I do what Aries do best. I ignored him. I told him that I had no intention of converting, and that I will respect his wishes and for us to not be in contact anymore. I see him at the bus station, he tries to talk to me, I keep it brief and stick my nose back in my book. He comes into my workplace, tries to catch up, and I treat him professionally as I would any customer. He tells me he feels insulted that I am ignoring him, and I remind him that it was his idea, and that it is simply less confusing that way. I could feel an icy barrier being put up around me, and I am satisfied inside of it.

During the summer, I took a time out from my job that required me to take the bus due to my summer class schedule. I have yet to return to that workplace, so it's been almost half a year (or more) since he last saw me at the station. He sent me an e-mail a couple of weeks ago asking after me. I didn't notice till two weeks later. It then takes me another 3-4 days before I decide whether or not I even want to allow him back into my life. I respond and wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. We e-mail a bit back and forth: Long story short, we agreed to meet after fall semester ends...

I'm not sure how this will unfold. We haven't made any official plans yet, so I do not know what we will be doing when we meet. I did, however, give him a bit of an ultimatum of my own. Anyone have experience with JW's?
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Oh my.

Post his chart!

Just kidding. He'll never tell his birthday. -_-
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Honestly though, I'm sorry you experienced this. Religious extremes suck in all forms. Sad
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Posted by duchesslibro
Oh my.

Post his chart!

Just kidding. He'll never tell his birthday. -_-

I can't remember the exact birthrate, but I know he is a February (I think) Aqua and that he's 27 years old.
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Posted by Vixen2
They come to my house every single sunday...because I couldn't be blunt or rude the first time they came. SMH...now I'm on their route or whatever. I just stopped answering the door as I have a monitor in my kitchen to see who is at the door. I have read sooo many reddits on how people have tried to get them to stop coming but none it works. You can't even get them for trespassing on private property down here. They say you can try calling the church and speaking with them to demand you get taken off their hit list but people have said it just makes them come back with a vengeance. I don't have anything against them personally...I wouldn't like any religious solicitation from any type of religion, especially when I'm trying to relish in my free time.

Your feelings are completely understandable. Actually, that was my ultimatum, so to speak. I was direct and basically told him that if we are to meet, it will be as two people - not as our religions. I said that we can catch up with each other, but that I have zero interest in discussing Jehovah or converting, and if that is his intention, then it's best we not meet. He asked if he could call me, but I would rather we meet face-to-face. If he doesn't respect my wishes and I feel as though he is imposing on me, I will let it go and not see him again.
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Posted by elllesque
I have JW's on my mother's side. Most aren't anymore after my grandfather died but I still have a few aunts and uncles that are die hard.

He cannot be your friend or associate with you if you do not convert.

He certainly can't marry you.

He will end up convincing you of having a secret relationship or going really hard at converting you.

I would stay away. Far, far away.

I have read stories and watched video testimonies about people that have left the JW Watch Tower (I believe it's called.) When he e-mailed me saying how has "been thinking about me" and that he "misses talking to me," I e-mailed back asking if he forgot his own words about us not being friends. I said that JWs don't allow association with others who aren't JWs (quoting what I read) and he wrote back denying it saying that JWs don't associate with people who don't "follow the Bible's principles" because they are "bad association." He goes on to tell me that I'm not "bad association" and that he was just "afraid of leading me on." He sent me his number.

May I ask a personal question? Do you have a relationship with your JWs aunts and uncles?
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"... and he wrote back denying it"


Hmm... protect your heart, of course.

But if this is what he said, then maybe don't get so

mired in the details (that seem to be blurring, quickly,

where you are concerned).


Que sera...
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Posted by elllesque
I never had an issue with any of them until my grandfather passed. Prior to that, I was polite and tolerant. It didn't affect me, so I never put much energy into it.

My grandparents were both JW's since they were married. They were married for 63 years.

They had nine children. About half of them stayed with JW after becoming adults.

When my grandfather passed away...not a single person came to my grandmother's home to pay condolences. Not one. Why? Because the family was there.....all of us...and there were several 'non' JWs present.

I felt so sad for my grandmother. She had devoted her entire life to them and their religion. My grandfather was a pillar for them.

She left them shortly after. She doesn't talk about it much. She's 93 now (and adorable as ever)...this was about 6-7 years ago. She never says anything out loud but I know it hurt. All her friends that she had spent so much time over the years with....just gone in a single day.

I don't see my extended family much. Maybe once every two years. When I do see them, I visit briefly and they always want to sit down and read the watchtower (their magazine) with them. Before that incident.....I would do it out of respect. Now, I decline. None have challenged me as to why and I don't think they will because they know....they are just too afraid of being banished themselves.

I feel hurt reading your story. Wow...Your story (that is uniquely yours) shares similarities to other ex JW testimonies that I have read. They even spoke about being instructed to shun their own children. The common thread is chilling. Should he and I meet, and I sense that he is trying to convert me, I will tell him that he is not respecting my wishes and simply cut all contact. While I am questioning seeing him at all, I worry that by not allowing one chance, I may be casting judgement on him unfairly. Does that make sense? What are your thoughts on this?
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Posted by Montgomery
"... and he wrote back denying it"


Hmm... protect your heart, of course.

But if this is what he said, then maybe don't get so

mired in the details (that seem to be blurring, quickly,

where you are concerned).


Que sera...

Monty, are you advising that I meet with him and see what happens?
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Posted by elllesque
My mother and brother were invited to my cousin's wedding a few years ago.....my cousin is an aries and isn't as into it as his new bride was...but was still in it nonetheless.

They were not allowed to attend the ceremony and there was such a controversy with them being at the reception, they were put at a table by themselves away from the rest of the family. My mother and brother were a bit upset but kept it to themselves because they are both very close to my cousin.

That is very strange. Surely the JWs don't fear that your mother and brother would "corrupt" them somehow as the aqua implied about "bad association"? I don't understand the reasoning...
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Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Montgomery
"... and he wrote back denying it"


Hmm... protect your heart, of course.

But if this is what he said, then maybe don't get so

mired in the details (that seem to be blurring, quickly,

where you are concerned).


Que sera...

Monty, are you advising that I meet with him and see what happens?
click to expand

Not exactly... that's up to you.

I'm just suggesting that maybe you shouldn't overthink it.

smile
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I'm certainly not suggesting you convert.

o___O


LoL it's past my bedtime.
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Posted by elllesque
The more you convert, the higher rank you get....the more good deeds you do, the higher rank (my cousin and his wife often go to Haiti on "mission" trips, if you associate with non believers you risk losing your 'rank'.

It's all very confusing.

Doesn't sound confusing.

MLM religion.

Amway is the God's way.
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Does he have the typical void in the eyes?

I've met a lot of them...all shared this characteristic. There was nothing...there.

I don't mean intelectually or emotionally..more like spiritually. Nothing behind their eyes. It creeps me out.

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Posted by Montgomery
I'm certainly not suggesting you convert.

o___O


LoL it's past my bedtime.

Lol, thing is, he often referenced (and most recently referenced) my "good qualities." He wrote, "You are the nicest person I met out there. I need some of those qualities." I'm not sure what that means, but when he first gave me the ultimatum and made me feel rejected for who I am and what I believe, I reasoned, "if you admire my qualities so much, how can you be certain I am not the way I am because of what I believe?"

If you are heading to bed, goodnight, Monty. I've missed you.
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by elllesque
My mother and brother were invited to my cousin's wedding a few years ago.....my cousin is an aries and isn't as into it as his new bride was...but was still in it nonetheless.

They were not allowed to attend the ceremony and there was such a controversy with them being at the reception, they were put at a table by themselves away from the rest of the family. My mother and brother were a bit upset but kept it to themselves because they are both very close to my cousin.

That is very strange. Surely the JWs don't fear that your mother and brother would "corrupt" them somehow as the aqua implied about "bad association"? I don't understand the reasoning...

I don't get it either.

Based on what my mother has told me....she is one that never looked back....there is a certain amount of people who will reach heaven (144,000...I think is the number). There are almost 8 million JWs in the world. I don't know how they tell who gets to go or not...lol.....but it seems to be like a competition. The more you convert, the higher rank you get....the more good deeds you do, the higher rank (my cousin and his wife often go to Haiti on "mission" trips, if you associate with non believers you risk losing your 'rank'.

It's all very confusing.
click to expand

Now I'm really confused. Surely the 144,000 spots have filled up by now??? My religion forbids astrology, too. We believe that the Unknown is only for God to know and to try and delve into it is to commune with the devils (like speaking to soothsayers, etc.) Reading about the characteristics and traits of signs is as far as I go, to be honest. I don't read daily horoscopes or to palmistry and the like.
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Posted by Damnata
Does he have the typical void in the eyes?

I've met a lot of them...all shared this characteristic. There was nothing...there.

I don't mean intelectually or emotionally..more like spiritually. Nothing behind their eyes. It creeps me out.



I...to be honest? He struck me as sad, as though he is alone. But when he gave me that ultimatum he was cold. I put up the Aries wall, and when he came around he seemed sad again, but I was ruthless in my consistency and I didn't give it a chance because it was just too confusing and I felt it's best to just not deal with any of it, him, at all. I remember suggesting that he try and meet JWs girls at his church (Watch Tower?) When I responded to his first e-mail, he said thank you. Twice. With exclamation points. So, maybe he really is considering being a friend because he needs one?

Spiritually, he seemed robotic. Anytime I asked him something, it was as though he couldn't give me HIS opinion. He would take a rain-check, and then come back to me later with, what I felt was, a cookie-cutter regurgitation. That frustrated me because I felt that he wasn't being genuine, that he wasn't thinking for himself. Sometimes his answers didn't even address the question asked, like Siri on an iPhone.

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Posted by LillyPetal
Spiritually, he seemed robotic. Anytime I asked him something, it was as though he couldn't give me HIS opinion. He would take a rain-check, and then come back to me later with, what I felt was, a cookie-cutter regurgitation. That frustrated me because I felt that he wasn't being genuine, that he wasn't thinking for himself. Sometimes his answers didn't even address the question asked, like Siri on an iPhone.



Exactly this.
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Posted by elllesque
It's called the Kingdom Hall.

The Watchtower is their magazine.

Those names give me heebee jeebies...

He once invited me to one of their conventions, and I think it was held at the Kingdom Hall, as you say. I seemed hesitant, and he said, "I mean, I don't see the harm in you just checking it out." I said cheerily to him, "Oh! So if I invited you to come to one of my religious events, will you come?" His expression said it all, and I thought to myself, "Just as I thought."
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Not the best experiences, from romantic side. I have never dated one, but I know someone that wasn't one that married one . She is miserable. They constantly fight about it, she wants to support his religious views, but he won't support hers. It's his beliefs or its bullshit. I see alot of hypocrisy and lying. He is abusive and that religion a ceptd men as dominating, not saying the condone abuse.

That may just be the person and their familial upbringing, but the religion does play a role.
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Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by elllesque
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by elllesque
My mother and brother were invited to my cousin's wedding a few years ago.....my cousin is an aries and isn't as into it as his new bride was...but was still in it nonetheless.

They were not allowed to attend the ceremony and there was such a controversy with them being at the reception, they were put at a table by themselves away from the rest of the family. My mother and brother were a bit upset but kept it to themselves because they are both very close to my cousin.

That is very strange. Surely the JWs don't fear that your mother and brother would "corrupt" them somehow as the aqua implied about "bad association"? I don't understand the reasoning...

I don't get it either.

Based on what my mother has told me....she is one that never looked back....there is a certain amount of people who will reach heaven (144,000...I think is the number). There are almost 8 million JWs in the world. I don't know how they tell who gets to go or not...lol.....but it seems to be like a competition. The more you convert, the higher rank you get....the more good deeds you do, the higher rank (my cousin and his wife often go to Haiti on "mission" trips, if you associate with non believers you risk losing your 'rank'.

It's all very confusing.

Now I'm really confused. Surely the 144,000 spots have filled up by now??? My religion forbids astrology, too. We believe that the Unknown is only for God to know and to try and delve into it is to commune with the devils (like speaking to soothsayers, etc.) Reading about the characteristics and traits of signs is as far as I go, to be honest. I don't read daily horoscopes or to palmistry and the like.
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Adventist?
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by christinelovessnickers
Not the best experiences, from romantic side. I have never dated one, but I know someone that wasn't one that married one . She is miserable. They constantly fight about it, she wants to support his religious views, but he won't support hers. It's his beliefs or its bullshit. I see alot of hypocrisy and lying. He is abusive and that religion a ceptd men as dominating, not saying the condone abuse.

That may just be the person and their familial upbringing, but the religion does play a role.

my aunt and uncle are both JW, the ones I talked about in this thread.

She has MS and has had it for many years. He refuses to get her treatment (any kind of treatment) and uses the principles of the JW to justify it. It's sad because there is so much that can be done to help her have a better quality of life.

yet, he gets a tooth ache or a headache and he's running to the doctor's office in a heartbeat.
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He preaches not going to the hospital and instead runs to the er frequently enough looking for help and drugs to aid him.
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Posted by elllesque
You would think it would be filled up by now.....lol.

It's not logical to me. I never really could comprehend that and could never get anyone to explain it where I could wrap my head around it.

I don't know how the 144k are chosen, but (and I may be butchering it) from my understanding of thr way it was explained to me is that the above number go to heaven while thr rest of the believers stay on earth in an eden type place.
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Posted by christinelovessnickers
Posted by elllesque
You would think it would be filled up by now.....lol.

It's not logical to me. I never really could comprehend that and could never get anyone to explain it where I could wrap my head around it.

I don't know how the 144k are chosen, but (and I may be butchering it) from my understanding of thr way it was explained to me is that the above number go to heaven while thr rest of the believers stay on earth in an eden type place.
click to expand

Yes, from what I am reading now, it's more like the 144,000 will "rule with Jesus" while the rest are Muggles here on earth?
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Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by christinelovessnickers
Posted by elllesque
You would think it would be filled up by now.....lol.

It's not logical to me. I never really could comprehend that and could never get anyone to explain it where I could wrap my head around it.

I don't know how the 144k are chosen, but (and I may be butchering it) from my understanding of thr way it was explained to me is that the above number go to heaven while thr rest of the believers stay on earth in an eden type place.

Yes, from what I am reading now, it's more like the 144,000 will "rule with Jesus" while the rest are Muggles here on earth?
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Yeah, that what I meant by Heaven and it's something like Paradise earth or world or land or something for believers. I assume non believers (non-JW) go to hell or just rot in the Earth (nothing for them).
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Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Montgomery
I'm certainly not suggesting you convert.

o___O


LoL it's past my bedtime.

Lol, thing is, he often referenced (and most recently referenced) my "good qualities." He wrote, "You are the nicest person I met out there. I need some of those qualities." I'm not sure what that means, but when he first gave me the ultimatum and made me feel rejected for who I am and what I believe, I reasoned, "if you admire my qualities so much, how can you be certain I am not the way I am because of what I believe?"

If you are heading to bed, goodnight, Monty. I've missed you.
click to expand


(((*hugs*)))


I was just wondering about you over Thanksgiving.

Missed you too.
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Run far away. I have an Aunt who is part of this. She's more "lax" since she was raised Baptist but she converted when she met her husband. That guy was a bastard. He'd never show up to any family events, made my aunt quit her job as a school teacher because she had to lead students to do the pledge of allegiance. She then tutored kids but barely got paid. They ended up living off the government.Monopoly was gambling to him, Sports were a sin because people were mixed with non JWs. Once my girl cousin spent the night and she's my sister's age, so she borrowed my sister's jean shorts to wear to school the next day. So when she went home her dad beat her terribly with a belt and she had huge welts and bruises on her legs and she wasn't allowed to come over or talk with us outside of school until my aunt finally divorced that radical psycho two years later.

Beware of people in cults jws, Mormons etc.. children suffer in those families...
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UPDATE:

Aqua JW and I went out on Friday. He has been consistently trying to "stop by" to see me at work and failing. On New Year's, he sent me an e-mail asking why I haven't contacted him via text or phone call. He told me he got the impression that I didn't want him "bothering" me. So, I finally decided to text him. We messaged back and forth, and he asked where I live. "Why?" "Because you've told me before, but I can't remember. You're not the Lilly I spoke to before." I asked him directly what it was that he wanted. He accused me of being angry as though I was mad because he had done something to me. I told him I wasn't mad, but that I sensed he wasn't being forthright with me.

Me: "No, you didn't hurt me. You were straight-forward: no friendship with a non-JW woman because the relationship could never end in marriage unless she converted. I had no intention of converting, so you said we couldn't be friends. I accepted that and moved on. Now you've contacted me after so long saying you want friendship, and you don't seem to think it's normal for me to wonder what has changed between the points when you denied me friendship and now."
Him: "I've changed."
Me: "Tell me. Be honest, direct, and clear. The reason I am reluctant to communicate with you is because my intuition is telling me that you aren't being forthright with me."
Him: "Just be yourself. I don't want you to convert. Really! I guess I'm just not diligent as I was before. I was very careful when it came to talking to the opposite sex I didn't want to hurt anyone."

That's when he asks if I drink and I tell him no. He said he wanted to invite me out to talk more. I think about it and then say. "As friends?" Him: "LOL! What else?" I agree and then tell him: "I'm hungry, so it would be nice if we could go somewhere that serves food. I'll pay for my own food because that's what friends do." He cracks up here and tells me I'm funny.

So, he picks me up. He got lost on the way to my place and I had to run back in to get my coat. We give each other a hard time about it after I get in the car. He goes on to drive me to the barber shop because he wants to say hi to a friend who he then introduces me to. Aqua later tells me the guy texted him telling him I'm very pretty and if things are going well.
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We go to several restaurants before finally settling down. I realize he has a bit of social anxiety and any restaurant that seemed too crowded made him nervous and self-conscious. It was New Years, so of course places were crowded. We end up at a Vietnamese restaurant and we get a table for two. I offer to sit facing outward so that he didn't have to see the crowds. We get to eating and he begins asking me questions about my personal life. I tell him that I've made a few friends. "Are any of them male?" "Actually, they are all male." "What? Tell me about these boyfriends of yours." "They're just friends. But there is one that I really like." "Does he like you?" "Yes, definitely." "Is he like, your boyfriend?" "He is, yes." "Damn." I change the subject and try and talk about other things, but he didn't have much to contribute to the conversation other than "You're smart." He seemed deflated. "Does this guy take you places to eat?" "He does, yes." "Oh." It turns out that Aqua had been dating someone for 5 months before it was ended because he claims his ex picked fights over petty things, and they just weren't compatible. But, when I asked him what she was like, he just shrugged and when asked what they used to do together, he couldn't recount any memories. Him: "Can I ask you a question?" Me: "I can tell it is going to be very personal, so I'd rather you not." "Are you still a virgin?" Heh. I guess I technically am but I can't call myself pure. "I am." I tell him.

"I'm so disappointed. I thought I was the only guy in your life!" I laughed: "You pictured me as little, shy Lilly, sitting around waiting for you? I've changed. I told you that I'm not the same as I once was." "And here I thought I was doing you a favor." This is where he implied that he was doing me a favor by inviting me out since I'm such a lonely girl. I let this slide because I could tell he was frustrated and down. I asked the waitress for chopsticks and proceeded to teach him how to use them. This lightened the mood and we were able to laugh. "So you're really dating this guy?" "I am, yes. He makes me happy." I proceed to tell him about my BF. "Wow. It sounds like you two are meant for each other. Had I known that, I wouldn't have asked you to hangout tonight." "Why? You said we'd hang out as friends. So my relationship status shouldn't be a factor." "Yeah...but I was hoping we'd hangout...and then maybe something would happen between us..." "Aha! See! So you WEREN'T being honest with me or yourself!"
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I asked for separate checks and we each paid. He joked about not having money and I offered to treat him, but he paid his bill and the tip in the end. We drove around some more and spoke. He's a sad Aqua - critical of himself in the way virgos are. I've always felt Aquas were Virgo without the sense of humor. Him: "You're quiet. What are you thinking?" Me: "I'm thinking about whether or not we should hangout again." "Psssht! I know the answer to that one." "What is that?" "NO. If I were you, I wouldn't want to see me again." "Now why do you say that?" "Because I'm not a good person." "You *are* a good person, Aqua. You're thoughtful and kind.

He wants to drink but won't drink and drive, so he asks my permission to stop to pick up beer at the gas station. He returns with a Snickers bar. I laugh and thank him. "See? You're kind. The right woman will LOVE you for that."

We wanted dessert and he suggested to buy Oreo McFlurries. I've never had one before, so I'm excited to try it. It was odd because I got the impression he was trying to duplicate the kind of simple things my BF does. He insisted on treating me and I accept. We park, and he fussed over the radio, trying to find the right sound to fill the space. He looks at me: "Do you like this song? Would you like a man to sing to you like this?" It was some lovey-Dover RnB song. I scrunch up my face and he laughs. "You're strange. Many women would want that." "Aqua?" "Yes?" "Turn off the radio."

We talked, and I focused the conversation on him. He doesn't have a vision, and he enjoyed contemplating what his vision for himself might be. He tried touching my leg, he tried feeding me flurry, he tried wiping ice-cream off my face - to which I refused with a "that's boyfriend stuff!" He was trolling me. "After tonight, it's best that we don't see each other again. You obviously like me, and to be around each other will put us both in a situation. I never want to betray my BF." "Then break up with him!" "Stop. I won't do that. You've been wanting to hangout with me and it's now happened. Now we can both move on."

We talked some more. He asked for a photo, and I took one. He asked for a hug, and I obliged. "Won't your boyfriend be upset we hung out?" "'No, because I will tell him everything. He trusts me." "Will you tell him I tried to kiss you?" "But you didn't. But I suppose it's not so wise to share every detail if it'll only bring grief."

He drops me off and then texts me the next day. " Morning Lilly! It was great hanging out with you lastnight. I was always curious to see what it would be like to hangout with a cool girl like you and the experience was good😃. Now that I got that out of the way I guess I can just move on, lol" He attached the photo of us. I replied: "You're welcome, Aqua. Thank you for the wonderful evening. I wish you all the best! *^____^*"

And that was that.
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My tenses are all over the place. >_
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Posted by Arielle83
Oh man.
Were you annoyed at his advances and his pity party?

Honestly, I couldn't bring myself to get angry despite every indication that I should have. When he said what he said, and I didn't get mad, I could tell he was sorry for saying it. His advances were a desperate attempt of a man trying to reclaim a moment missed. He only reminded me of how much I love the man I am with because I was not the least bit tempted. The truth is, he had his chance and he rejected me. His mistake was in underestimating me, thinking I was helpless and incapable of taking the risks that I have. He even said as much, that I shocked him. Yet I moved on without looking back. On New Years when we hung out, I wanted to live through the moment and for him to live through the moment so that we could both move on from different things.
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Posted by Arielle83
I can't respect him saying friend then guilting you about being out with him because you have a bf.

Like you were nice and gave him the benefit of the doubt, but then he tries to blame you.

I think that's why I stopped dating supposed "nice" guys. They do that guilt/blame/pity thing.

I completely understand where you are coming from, but I'm just in a place right now where I cannot be angry. He was genuinely unhappy, and I felt not to add to that. My way of handling it is to simply never see or contact him again all the while wishing him the best. Now he can move on knowing there won't be anything between us and that I'm not harboring hard feelings, and I can move on knowing that his rejection of me was not a reflection on me or my value and that I can be loved by being exactly who I am - all of who I am. I have worth and I have a lot to offer. I am strong and life keeps moving, and I must move along with it.

But, again, I hear you.
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I can't believe he asked if you were a virgin, that whole date scenario is just weird and pent up with so much religious suppression I don't even know how to deal with it.

You are lucky though to get away from that evil cult, I know all to well because my dad is one and although he is a lovely guy and accepts that I'm gay we just can't have a fair, logical, political, argument because he's a jehovas witness and the key to being a jehovas is blind faith and complete obedience. My family in Fiji are pretty much all jehovas but you wouldn't think they were, they like to have a drink and are down to earth.

The reason I say it's an evil cult is because people get dis fellowships if they do something wrong, my cousin cheated on his wife and was disfellowed and his 3yo died and at the funeral no one could talk to him and I got angry at my dad and he just said it is what it is, ( even though he cheated on my mum and beat her up and did a lot of bad things that would get him kicked out if I told) but it happened a long time and dad got his shit together and remarried to a jehovas woman so I wasn't about to cause shit. But yeh the lot of them are brainwashed and mental, they called my mother worldly and she loves it.

Another thing is my dad dragged me to the Easter sermon 2 years ago with my other cousin (sometimes I like to show dad I can be a good boy here and there) and the sermon was such a cultish joke I was wide eyed about the shit he was going on about, he pretty much told everyone to close their eyes and pretend they were on a beach with white sand and blue skies and that's pretty much where they are all headed.

Also when I left these two gorgeous girls came up to me wide grin and eyed asking if I liked it and I'm coming back and I straight up said no that I'm atheist.

Every church has them and I think it's disgusting, they're like prostitutes trying to lure hopefuls in with their pussies and shit, I will say though I was impressed with how many hot repressed gay guys go there.
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Posted by Montgomery
"...



Que sera...

smile
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