Ladies - I'm A Dude Who Needs Your Sexpertise...
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by HolySnakes07 on Monday, April 21, 2014 and has 57 replies.
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Ok here is the long and short of it(no pun intended BTW) Im a guy who is getting close to his mid-30's and I am still a virgin.
Let me condense the reason why in cliffnotes. Had a mother who got diagnosed with cancer when I was 15. Was focused on being with her during my time in high school, so never dated.
Mother died when I was 17. I carried a lot of guilt over not really being there like I should have when she was battling cancer.
So I unconsciously sabotaged chances I had with interested women. Due to not thinking I deserved a loving relationship due to my cowardice in not fully being there for mom.
Took me a lot of years to make peace with it. Went on dates with girls but they either had baggage (guy cheating on them with another man) or women who were off their antidepressants (this girl I sort of dated who told me when in the first 15 minutes of meeting her that she was on antidepressants) Yeah red flag I know.
I've kissed a girl before (not well, due to my inexperience and her having small lips) Even gotten down to the breasts.
But I have never gone further before. Partly cause I didn't have a second chance to. Got blown off shortly after.
Another factor was taking care of my father. My father had issues both mentally and physically after Mom passed. So I moved back in to keep an eye as well as take care of him.
As soon as my dates heard that I lived with my father, they bolted. Assuming it was "Grandma's Boy" type of situation. Watch the movie to get the reference.
Even though I worked full-time and paid for most of the bills. And had opportunities for privacy if I needed it.
Anyway, Dad's health got worse and I focused completely on taking care of him. Didn't date. He passed away last year.
I was devastated, lost, and directionless. So I kind of went nuts and bolted from the state I lived in and moved to Cali.
Met this girl who is my age there. She is a Leo Sun, Libra Moon, Mars in Cancer, Venus In Virgo BTW
We hit it off but stayed friends due to her having a boyfriend at time. She kind of made it obvious she was attracted to me in spite of the boyfriend. But also showed she would never cheat on him.
Which I am happy about believe it or not. Cause it shows she is loyal. Never met the bf BTW.
Anyway they break up. I learned from her that he had cheated on her and was controlling. She put up with it due to them living together (leaving the place wasn't easy as
Let me condense the reason why in cliffnotes. Had a mother who got diagnosed with cancer when I was 15. Was focused on being with her during my time in high school, so never dated.
Mother died when I was 17. I carried a lot of guilt over not really being there like I should have when she was battling cancer.
So I unconsciously sabotaged chances I had with interested women. Due to not thinking I deserved a loving relationship due to my cowardice in not fully being there for mom.
Took me a lot of years to make peace with it. Went on dates with girls but they either had baggage (guy cheating on them with another man) or women who were off their antidepressants (this girl I sort of dated who told me when in the first 15 minutes of meeting her that she was on antidepressants) Yeah red flag I know.
I've kissed a girl before (not well, due to my inexperience and her having small lips) Even gotten down to the breasts.
But I have never gone further before. Partly cause I didn't have a second chance to. Got blown off shortly after.
Another factor was taking care of my father. My father had issues both mentally and physically after Mom passed. So I moved back in to keep an eye as well as take care of him.
As soon as my dates heard that I lived with my father, they bolted. Assuming it was "Grandma's Boy" type of situation. Watch the movie to get the reference.
Even though I worked full-time and paid for most of the bills. And had opportunities for privacy if I needed it.
Anyway, Dad's health got worse and I focused completely on taking care of him. Didn't date. He passed away last year.
I was devastated, lost, and directionless. So I kind of went nuts and bolted from the state I lived in and moved to Cali.
Met this girl who is my age there. She is a Leo Sun, Libra Moon, Mars in Cancer, Venus In Virgo BTW
We hit it off but stayed friends due to her having a boyfriend at time. She kind of made it obvious she was attracted to me in spite of the boyfriend. But also showed she would never cheat on him.
Which I am happy about believe it or not. Cause it shows she is loyal. Never met the bf BTW.
Anyway they break up. I learned from her that he had cheated on her and was controlling. She put up with it due to them living together (leaving the place wasn't easy as
As easy as it sounds. State I live in is super duper expensive.
She moved out, got her own place. But was taking time out for herself to process the breakup and focus on her job.
I was one of the few people in her life that gave her space which she appreciated.
And she reintiated contact after a period of time. We exchanged flirty messages by text and FB.
She told me she was going a business trip for her job in Wyoming for close to a month. But strongly hinted in the message she was ready to see what happens and take us beyond "just friends"
Been 2 weeks since that message and the countdown is beginning. Been trying to find good "how to" sex books in regards to satisfying women.
Talked to a lesbian friend who recommended Nina Hartley's "Eat P---y like A Champ" Video as well as Satisfaction: The Art of Female Orgasm book.
And also "2 girls teach sex" Oral Magic Something. Problem is some of that stuff is pricey. Is there any good books or vids I can watch free that can help send this Leo gal to the promised land so to speak?
I cant tell her I am still a virgin obviously. Women get embarrassed having to tell men what to do in bed, They want a guy to lead.
Which totally makes sense with her since she is introverted in person. But extroverted in text and email go figure.
Cant understand a Leo with a Libra Moon that is shy, doesn't make sense. Anyhow, I really want to take care of her in the bedroom. And I know she would drop me like a bad habit if she knew I had a V-Card.
If you ladies have any suggestions sexually or books or video to read/watch let me know. Cause I'm getting scared s---less that I am going to fail. And I really like this Leo Girl and don't wanna lose a chance with her.
She moved out, got her own place. But was taking time out for herself to process the breakup and focus on her job.
I was one of the few people in her life that gave her space which she appreciated.
And she reintiated contact after a period of time. We exchanged flirty messages by text and FB.
She told me she was going a business trip for her job in Wyoming for close to a month. But strongly hinted in the message she was ready to see what happens and take us beyond "just friends"
Been 2 weeks since that message and the countdown is beginning. Been trying to find good "how to" sex books in regards to satisfying women.
Talked to a lesbian friend who recommended Nina Hartley's "Eat P---y like A Champ" Video as well as Satisfaction: The Art of Female Orgasm book.
And also "2 girls teach sex" Oral Magic Something. Problem is some of that stuff is pricey. Is there any good books or vids I can watch free that can help send this Leo gal to the promised land so to speak?
I cant tell her I am still a virgin obviously. Women get embarrassed having to tell men what to do in bed, They want a guy to lead.
Which totally makes sense with her since she is introverted in person. But extroverted in text and email go figure.
Cant understand a Leo with a Libra Moon that is shy, doesn't make sense. Anyhow, I really want to take care of her in the bedroom. And I know she would drop me like a bad habit if she knew I had a V-Card.
If you ladies have any suggestions sexually or books or video to read/watch let me know. Cause I'm getting scared s---less that I am going to fail. And I really like this Leo Girl and don't wanna lose a chance with her.
Redtube.com Its a combination of professional porn and home made videos. watch the amateur videos. they are all categorized.
Porn is agood start. Not 3somes or anal. Lets start out with good ol missionary. Also, tell her totell you what shes into. Do it in a way where your talking dirty.
Posted by strudelPosted by StillWater
if she's ever had sex, i think she'll know you're a virgin.
why not try to find a virgin girl to experience it together? or there might be women who actually enjoy if a guy is a virgin (power play or something)?
there is someone for everyone and i don't think you have to pretend/lie to get what you want.
IT TOOK HIM 30 YEARS TO GET HERE AND U WANT HIM TO FIND ANOTHER GIRL???click to expand
^^^
+ 2000
Hi, Sorry to hear about your parents...
I had a mentally ill family member and its hard to say the least.
I think you need to approach this situation with more confidence. Maybe, tell her that your a virgin... it sounds like she really likes you and Im sure if she does than that would not be a problem. ...cause normally mens first time is abnormally fast..it might be different because your a little older...
Who knows she could be the shy type of woman in public, then be a crazy kitty in bed, and want to take the lead!!
I think you should tell her, especially if you feel she reciprocates your feelings.
I had a mentally ill family member and its hard to say the least.
I think you need to approach this situation with more confidence. Maybe, tell her that your a virgin... it sounds like she really likes you and Im sure if she does than that would not be a problem. ...cause normally mens first time is abnormally fast..it might be different because your a little older...
Who knows she could be the shy type of woman in public, then be a crazy kitty in bed, and want to take the lead!!
I think you should tell her, especially if you feel she reciprocates your feelings.
Here's an instructional video on how NOT to do it!
http://xhamster.com/movies/919861/brittney_skye_and_24_year_old_virgin.html#!
The action starts at 11:30. I can't watch.... again!
What's your sign btw? =)
http://xhamster.com/movies/919861/brittney_skye_and_24_year_old_virgin.html#!
The action starts at 11:30. I can't watch.... again!
What's your sign btw? =)
Jezzzzzzz....no way you should be looking at porn for inspiration! That's for wanking on your own.......which is also something you should avoid during the days before you meet her.
Explore her body with your finger tips and tongue, massage her back, compliment her, apply 1-2 techniques you've learned in that lesbian manual. You'll be doing already more than an experienced, yet selfish, individual.
Ask her favourite position and then follow your instincts. Nobody's rushing you to perform, so if you think you are about to come too early, pull out and squeeze your penis tip between two fingers, while complimenting her on her pussy. Wait a bit, then cary on.
And keep your virginity for yourself. I won't be able to concentrate on sex after hearing such thing from my partner. I would be : "Holly molly! What did you just say? Are you making fun of me? How is it possible? Why? Bloody hell! Virgin! Did I ever slept with a virgin? I'm feeling like ...a cradle snatcher!!! Will he get attached now? Will he want to experience other pussies? Is he going to remember this act for the rest of his life? Am I becoming responsible for something? Oh what.........did you just come? I not even notice you were at it already!! I was busy thinking...my head is about to explode! Oh, OK, let's do it again, now that you are not a virgin anymore!"
Explore her body with your finger tips and tongue, massage her back, compliment her, apply 1-2 techniques you've learned in that lesbian manual. You'll be doing already more than an experienced, yet selfish, individual.
Ask her favourite position and then follow your instincts. Nobody's rushing you to perform, so if you think you are about to come too early, pull out and squeeze your penis tip between two fingers, while complimenting her on her pussy. Wait a bit, then cary on.
And keep your virginity for yourself. I won't be able to concentrate on sex after hearing such thing from my partner. I would be : "Holly molly! What did you just say? Are you making fun of me? How is it possible? Why? Bloody hell! Virgin! Did I ever slept with a virgin? I'm feeling like ...a cradle snatcher!!! Will he get attached now? Will he want to experience other pussies? Is he going to remember this act for the rest of his life? Am I becoming responsible for something? Oh what.........did you just come? I not even notice you were at it already!! I was busy thinking...my head is about to explode! Oh, OK, let's do it again, now that you are not a virgin anymore!"
There's not really a substitute for experience. Non-virgins watch porn all the time, but that doesn't mean they come out of it as porn stars themselves lol they may learn a few tricks here & there, but if watching porn technically made you a champ, no one would need to watch it b/c everyone would already be the best at it.
So I agree with someone up above...you can watch 1 million pornos all day, but 9 times out of 10, when you're finally in the bed with a woman for the 1st time, she'll know you're a virgin.
Just tell her your story like you just told us. We're not important to you & yet even we understand that there's always a story behind situations like this. She & others you actually personally know are important so have faith that while not all women will hear you out & understand, someone eventually will. You won't know until you try.
It was a good thing you stayed away from love/relationships back then. You knew you couldn't give what you didn't have, so you spared yourself & everybody else the disappointment & heartbreak that would have most certainly come eventually had you pretended like you had something to give that you really didn't have to give it all. As the saying goes, "You can do bad all by yourself," so don't regret staying away from intimate relations when you're so full of baggage that it consumes you. I wish most people were that honest & selfless.
If you tell her your story & she rejects you afterwards, she wasn't the girl for you. And in that case, you wouldn't really be missing out on anything.
My guess is that she'll empathize & sympathize with you & may even find it a fun challenge to turn you out! lol The key isn't necessarily skill. It's confidence. This is why women who feel insecure about their bodies or who may feel too that they lack experience tend to get by when they go into the bedroom with their heads up and chin high with confidence.
Stop fearing everything & go for it. No need in guessing all the time. Just try it. If you're right about this girl potentially being someone special, then she'll hear you out, appreciate your purity, appreciate your courage to admit such a thing, & continue getting to know you for who you are on the inside.
Good luck
So I agree with someone up above...you can watch 1 million pornos all day, but 9 times out of 10, when you're finally in the bed with a woman for the 1st time, she'll know you're a virgin.
Just tell her your story like you just told us. We're not important to you & yet even we understand that there's always a story behind situations like this. She & others you actually personally know are important so have faith that while not all women will hear you out & understand, someone eventually will. You won't know until you try.
It was a good thing you stayed away from love/relationships back then. You knew you couldn't give what you didn't have, so you spared yourself & everybody else the disappointment & heartbreak that would have most certainly come eventually had you pretended like you had something to give that you really didn't have to give it all. As the saying goes, "You can do bad all by yourself," so don't regret staying away from intimate relations when you're so full of baggage that it consumes you. I wish most people were that honest & selfless.
If you tell her your story & she rejects you afterwards, she wasn't the girl for you. And in that case, you wouldn't really be missing out on anything.
My guess is that she'll empathize & sympathize with you & may even find it a fun challenge to turn you out! lol The key isn't necessarily skill. It's confidence. This is why women who feel insecure about their bodies or who may feel too that they lack experience tend to get by when they go into the bedroom with their heads up and chin high with confidence.
Stop fearing everything & go for it. No need in guessing all the time. Just try it. If you're right about this girl potentially being someone special, then she'll hear you out, appreciate your purity, appreciate your courage to admit such a thing, & continue getting to know you for who you are on the inside.
Good luck
Posted by HolySnakes07
I cant tell her I am still a virgin obviously.
So you would rather have her think that you're experienced but just !@# $ ing horrible? Or a selfish bastard for finishing too quickly?
Sorry to tell you, cupcake, but there has never been and never will be a virgin that's good in bed their first time. No amount of reading, watching, or listening to the experiences and advice of others will adequately prepare you. Not to say that sex is some kind of mind blowing ordeal because... sometimes it's just really overrated, but it is something that requires actual practice to gain any kind of skill at.
Also, if you're particular girl is an introverted type that wants her man to take the lead that's fine, but please don't assume that every woman out there is the same way. Not all females are embarrassed by sex or their own sexuality.
Hey all,
Sorry for the delay in reply, but I have very limited computer access. (Got jumped and robbed at college laundromat in Arizona last year by two methhead kids. They took my laptop)
Anyways thank you all very much for your insights and observations. I really appreciate it. I dont remember people's names so I try to respond to the posts I remember. Apologies if I miss anyone.
@Tiziani and other person who is double pisces - THIS, completely this to what you all said. You cant tell women you are a virgin even when it's due to sad circumstances. I agree completely Cause the women will freak out about potential attachment.
Wouldn't happen with me, takes more than sex for me to get feelings for someone. Then they feel this pressure to make it "special" Which ruins the sex from being good at all.
When I made out with this Cap girl I sort of dated years ago, I wasnt that nervous for it being my first kiss. I think once I got into the groove, years of repressed horniness took over and I just became really passionate with the kissing.
Cap girl mentioned afterward how blown away she was of how dominant and passionate I got. I apologized to her, but she said she really liked that. She didn't expect that from someone who is sort of introverted like me.
There is some tricks I've already learned that are helpful. I'm a quick study when there is a visual how to aid ala video instruction.
I think I can fake it enough to pull off being passibly awful. Where she might think there is potential I can improve.
I do agree I need to study some kissing videos or how to techniques, since it's been a long time since I have done that.
Someone mentioned to me that if your lip size is the same as the girl's, kissing becomes a little easier. Thankfully this girl's lips are the same size as mine.
I mean if it gets to a crisis point where she blows me off due to the sex being bad, then I will just tell her I haven't had physical relations for years since my injuries.
Long story short, I almost got killed a few years ago. Am sort of partially disabled in my legs. Have scars all over my body.
Which made me self-conscious with women, feeling they will get scared thinking I am a freakshow.
Leo girl knows about the incident that almost killed me. So I think she will lay off and give me the benefit of the doubt. And give me a 2nd chance not to suck so terribly once I tell her the white lie about not being physically intim
Sorry for the delay in reply, but I have very limited computer access. (Got jumped and robbed at college laundromat in Arizona last year by two methhead kids. They took my laptop)
Anyways thank you all very much for your insights and observations. I really appreciate it. I dont remember people's names so I try to respond to the posts I remember. Apologies if I miss anyone.
@Tiziani and other person who is double pisces - THIS, completely this to what you all said. You cant tell women you are a virgin even when it's due to sad circumstances. I agree completely Cause the women will freak out about potential attachment.
Wouldn't happen with me, takes more than sex for me to get feelings for someone. Then they feel this pressure to make it "special" Which ruins the sex from being good at all.
When I made out with this Cap girl I sort of dated years ago, I wasnt that nervous for it being my first kiss. I think once I got into the groove, years of repressed horniness took over and I just became really passionate with the kissing.
Cap girl mentioned afterward how blown away she was of how dominant and passionate I got. I apologized to her, but she said she really liked that. She didn't expect that from someone who is sort of introverted like me.
There is some tricks I've already learned that are helpful. I'm a quick study when there is a visual how to aid ala video instruction.
I think I can fake it enough to pull off being passibly awful. Where she might think there is potential I can improve.
I do agree I need to study some kissing videos or how to techniques, since it's been a long time since I have done that.
Someone mentioned to me that if your lip size is the same as the girl's, kissing becomes a little easier. Thankfully this girl's lips are the same size as mine.
I mean if it gets to a crisis point where she blows me off due to the sex being bad, then I will just tell her I haven't had physical relations for years since my injuries.
Long story short, I almost got killed a few years ago. Am sort of partially disabled in my legs. Have scars all over my body.
Which made me self-conscious with women, feeling they will get scared thinking I am a freakshow.
Leo girl knows about the incident that almost killed me. So I think she will lay off and give me the benefit of the doubt. And give me a 2nd chance not to suck so terribly once I tell her the white lie about not being physically intim
ate since the incident.
Bottom line is I can never tell her about my virgin status not after the deed or ever.
She has lead a pretty charmed life from what she has told me. Aside from some bullying in junior high and high school.
So she will not understand the experiences I have gone through and lack the ability to emphasize.
Also she has a air moon which is detached lacking emotional understanding.
The other reason is in spite of my virgin status, my game is a little bit tighter than her other suiters. They have been pushy and needy with her about going on dates. And she is dealing with a lot of stress at work and still processing the breakup.
Which caused her to lash out at them and go into retreat mode. I was smart enough to lean back the entire time and never push anything.
I may be inexperienced with women, but even I know you never try to ask/push for any potential relationship with someone who just got out of a 7 year one.
My friend told me the best way to get a girl that is going through a breakup into a relationship way down the line boils down to two things -
One, give her a huge amount of space. Dont call, text or nothing. Let her contact you.
Two, go the FWB route. But to do this he said, you have to really know how to get her off in bed. He told me if you give a woman a strong sexual and emotional connection they would intiate talk about a relationship withut you having to do a thing.
So naively, I decided to go that route. And present myself as a fun guy who places no expectations or pressure on her.
It worked, but now I have to deliver the goods. So, I think I just need to focus 100% and get some basics nailed. And I can make it look like I have a little bit of experience.
I read how some virgins like me studied how to satisfy women orally written or directed by women. And they learned the tricks so well, the girls never knew it was their first time.
Here is hoping that goes the same for me. Will talk more, but again have limited internet access..
Bottom line is I can never tell her about my virgin status not after the deed or ever.
She has lead a pretty charmed life from what she has told me. Aside from some bullying in junior high and high school.
So she will not understand the experiences I have gone through and lack the ability to emphasize.
Also she has a air moon which is detached lacking emotional understanding.
The other reason is in spite of my virgin status, my game is a little bit tighter than her other suiters. They have been pushy and needy with her about going on dates. And she is dealing with a lot of stress at work and still processing the breakup.
Which caused her to lash out at them and go into retreat mode. I was smart enough to lean back the entire time and never push anything.
I may be inexperienced with women, but even I know you never try to ask/push for any potential relationship with someone who just got out of a 7 year one.
My friend told me the best way to get a girl that is going through a breakup into a relationship way down the line boils down to two things -
One, give her a huge amount of space. Dont call, text or nothing. Let her contact you.
Two, go the FWB route. But to do this he said, you have to really know how to get her off in bed. He told me if you give a woman a strong sexual and emotional connection they would intiate talk about a relationship withut you having to do a thing.
So naively, I decided to go that route. And present myself as a fun guy who places no expectations or pressure on her.
It worked, but now I have to deliver the goods. So, I think I just need to focus 100% and get some basics nailed. And I can make it look like I have a little bit of experience.
I read how some virgins like me studied how to satisfy women orally written or directed by women. And they learned the tricks so well, the girls never knew it was their first time.
Here is hoping that goes the same for me. Will talk more, but again have limited internet access..
Are you sure you are introverted? You sound like an ENTJ ("Field marshal") to me. Confident, strategical, no-nonsense kind of guy. Which I find attractive. Also, if virginity freaks me out, scars would turn me on. Mmmmm....a rough pirate! Hope your Leo has similar taste in men.
Coming back to the virginity thing. Forget about it, I don't think you'll have any problem. I slept with men who should have been " highly experienced" having gone through several relationships. And yet they won't do much more in bed than a monkey in the forrest (hence the gif I posted you earlier). Moreover, when I told my first guy I was a virgin (after sleeping together), he said he didn't believe me. So it's all relative.
Just want to add something, since some girls here recommended masturbation prior to meeting your Leo. This is a BAD idea. You probably spent two decades doing it, anyway. Well...no vagina could be as tight as your fist! Sorry. You may actually find yourself unable to cum for the first time. That is alright. If this happens, she'll get plenty of time to finish. She may even think she's got to raise her game to bring you to climax
!
Good luck!
Coming back to the virginity thing. Forget about it, I don't think you'll have any problem. I slept with men who should have been " highly experienced" having gone through several relationships. And yet they won't do much more in bed than a monkey in the forrest (hence the gif I posted you earlier). Moreover, when I told my first guy I was a virgin (after sleeping together), he said he didn't believe me. So it's all relative.
Just want to add something, since some girls here recommended masturbation prior to meeting your Leo. This is a BAD idea. You probably spent two decades doing it, anyway. Well...no vagina could be as tight as your fist! Sorry. You may actually find yourself unable to cum for the first time. That is alright. If this happens, she'll get plenty of time to finish. She may even think she's got to raise her game to bring you to climax
!Good luck!
If you're so worried about your status in her eyes and thinking she wouldn't understand you because of the differences I. Your lives, it prolly ain't gonna work anyway. Just go get some experience. Tell her you're a virgin while you're doing it. Like when you first get in there say, "so this is what all the fuss is about", then tear it up.
Really though, don't worry about tricks or gimmicks. Once you get started with the kissing and stuff it's all pretty natural.
Really though, don't worry about tricks or gimmicks. Once you get started with the kissing and stuff it's all pretty natural.
@Undine - I'm just an introvert who happens to fake extroversion really well. I can be social, but it can be mentally draining to be around people all the time.
So I need my space to recharge. Which is funny, cause I have Moon and Mars in Sagittarius.
Yeah, girls have been scared away by my scars before. I've had to tell them about the injuries since I do have a mild limp when I walk. As soon as I tell them about my scars, they are all like "Yeah, ya know I forgot that I have to get up early in morning for work. Laters!"
I just saw a photo she posted. Man I keep forgetting this girl is gorgeous. I know this sounds strange, but for me it was all about mental attraction in regards to her.
I ain't gonna lie the looks dont hurt, but it was us being the same age range, our shared interests and her quiet gentle nature that really attracted me.
I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but if eye candy was all I were looking for, I could get it. I've had some really drop dead looking hot girls show interest in the past and currently.
But the majority of them are in their 20's, and I have no desire to date younger women in that age bracket. Just my preference though.
I think the fact I attract beautiful women at all is freaking hilarious. I was plain and dorky looking in high school. Women at that time would rather have sex with Richard Simmons before touching me at that time.
I guess after getting Contact Lenses and dying my hair and spiking it, things changed. I guess women assume I am a "bad boy" due to the look when I am still just a shy nerd.
Yeah, I forget she's hot so I have to play it really cool. Cause very attractive women tend to be much tougher on men and wont give someone the benefit of the doubt.
Yep, this is going to be a disaster which sucks cause I really like her. At least if she was just hot and I had no feelings for her, it would be much easier.
Oh well, guess I just should assume immediate blow-off from her afterward. Maybe I should give a 2nd look to the younger gals that have been showing interest. When single always have a plan B
So I need my space to recharge. Which is funny, cause I have Moon and Mars in Sagittarius.
Yeah, girls have been scared away by my scars before. I've had to tell them about the injuries since I do have a mild limp when I walk. As soon as I tell them about my scars, they are all like "Yeah, ya know I forgot that I have to get up early in morning for work. Laters!"
I just saw a photo she posted. Man I keep forgetting this girl is gorgeous. I know this sounds strange, but for me it was all about mental attraction in regards to her.
I ain't gonna lie the looks dont hurt, but it was us being the same age range, our shared interests and her quiet gentle nature that really attracted me.
I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but if eye candy was all I were looking for, I could get it. I've had some really drop dead looking hot girls show interest in the past and currently.
But the majority of them are in their 20's, and I have no desire to date younger women in that age bracket. Just my preference though.
I think the fact I attract beautiful women at all is freaking hilarious. I was plain and dorky looking in high school. Women at that time would rather have sex with Richard Simmons before touching me at that time.
I guess after getting Contact Lenses and dying my hair and spiking it, things changed. I guess women assume I am a "bad boy" due to the look when I am still just a shy nerd.
Yeah, I forget she's hot so I have to play it really cool. Cause very attractive women tend to be much tougher on men and wont give someone the benefit of the doubt.
Yep, this is going to be a disaster which sucks cause I really like her. At least if she was just hot and I had no feelings for her, it would be much easier.
Oh well, guess I just should assume immediate blow-off from her afterward. Maybe I should give a 2nd look to the younger gals that have been showing interest. When single always have a plan B
What is your sun sign?
Okay, I'm a woman that had experience with virgins. I was okay and very understanding with it. Seriously, it's better to be honest than pretend to know. I appreciate honesty and being a virgin is no big deal!
As for how to do it, ask her what she wants then go with that.
That's definitely gonna be part of the scenario if you don't tell her and that's bad first impression in bed.
As for how to do it, ask her what she wants then go with that.
Posted by TMV
So you would rather have her think that you're experienced but just !@# $ ing horrible? Or a selfish bastard for finishing too quickly?
That's definitely gonna be part of the scenario if you don't tell her and that's bad first impression in bed.
Posted by AesmaDaeva
Okay, I'm a woman that had experience with virgins. I was okay and very understanding with it. Seriously, it's better to be honest than pretend to know. I appreciate honesty and being a virgin is no big deal!
That's definitely gonna be part of the scenario if you don't tell her and that's bad first impression in bed.
Yeah. But there is the teenage virgin, and then......the 35+ virgin. One won't be a big deal, indeed. The other one would trigger a river of questions.....
First time is usually bad or at least forgettable. It's not the sex that matters, but the coming together of two individuals, skin to skin, in an intimate embrace. They could honestly say they were nervous and overwhelmed, and next time will be better. I had "James Bond" unable to perform for five time in a row, lol. No problems later on. He said he was intimidated. I took it as a compliment!
Also, not disclosing virginity does not equal being deceptive. No one should start talking about previous fucks (or the lack of them) when becoming intimate with someone.
Posted by MissLibra
What is your sun sign?
Virgo
?
Posted by enfant_terrible
http://xhamster.com/movies/919861/brittney_skye_and_24_year_old_virgin.html#!
xhamster
I knew the DXP hamster had some porn connections
You sound like a loser.
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Sag89
You sound like a loser.
Typical sag answerclick to expand
Cause it's honest? Yea.
It's been a while. figured I would give you all an update.
But first...
@Sag89 - Wow, you really do make me think I'm missing out on dating younger women *eyeroll* I used to read DXP all the time and see your threads in the Sag forum. You seemed like a cool girl. But apparently you're very much a girl in your twenties. I'm sorry you lack any type of emotional maturity. But one day you are going to get hit back to back with hard times and tragedies then you wont be so quick to judge. Unless your comment was directed at Lilytree,and if it was my apologies.
ANYWAY, well it's over. The girl went back to her ex. I knew something was up when she didnt return my phone call after she got back.
The ex batted his eyes and she came running back like a puppy dog. The ex that was physically abusive, cheated on her, tried to isolate contact with her mother.
It's my fault. I take full responsibility for being an idiot to think she was ready to move on. I figured being in her 30's now she would finally see what a toxic relationship it is with her ex.
What I didn't know till it was too late was that this is a pattern. They had been together 7 years and go through this cycle of breaking up and getting back together.
I am going through a lot of pain right now since I liked this girl. But am kind of relieved that I wont have to have a front row seat to watch her put herself through the ringer again.
Plus, I remind myself that my mother would never put up with abusive behavior. I always use my mother as a guidepost/criteria when it comes to. It's helped me walk away from questionable women.
To be clear, I dont want a woman to be like my late mother. That is disgusting and weird. I just want her to have mom's important qualities.
This girl did not have those key qualities of hers which included self-respect and strength. Sadly she is weak. I find weakness in women (meaning will to be treated like crap time and time again) a turnoff. I like strong women, hence my attraction to fire signs. Think that is also due to my Mars in Sagittarius. To be finished next post...
But first...
@Sag89 - Wow, you really do make me think I'm missing out on dating younger women *eyeroll* I used to read DXP all the time and see your threads in the Sag forum. You seemed like a cool girl. But apparently you're very much a girl in your twenties. I'm sorry you lack any type of emotional maturity. But one day you are going to get hit back to back with hard times and tragedies then you wont be so quick to judge. Unless your comment was directed at Lilytree,and if it was my apologies.
ANYWAY, well it's over. The girl went back to her ex. I knew something was up when she didnt return my phone call after she got back.
The ex batted his eyes and she came running back like a puppy dog. The ex that was physically abusive, cheated on her, tried to isolate contact with her mother.
It's my fault. I take full responsibility for being an idiot to think she was ready to move on. I figured being in her 30's now she would finally see what a toxic relationship it is with her ex.
What I didn't know till it was too late was that this is a pattern. They had been together 7 years and go through this cycle of breaking up and getting back together.
I am going through a lot of pain right now since I liked this girl. But am kind of relieved that I wont have to have a front row seat to watch her put herself through the ringer again.
Plus, I remind myself that my mother would never put up with abusive behavior. I always use my mother as a guidepost/criteria when it comes to. It's helped me walk away from questionable women.
To be clear, I dont want a woman to be like my late mother. That is disgusting and weird. I just want her to have mom's important qualities.
This girl did not have those key qualities of hers which included self-respect and strength. Sadly she is weak. I find weakness in women (meaning will to be treated like crap time and time again) a turnoff. I like strong women, hence my attraction to fire signs. Think that is also due to my Mars in Sagittarius. To be finished next post...
BTW what's up with all the leo women I've encountered over the years who get in crappy relationships that everyone else but them can see?
Guess I cant generalize about Fire Signs being strong when it comes to relationships. Maybe my mother was a needle in the haystack of her sign
I keep attracting women who are stuck on their exes and I dont know why. Plus to any male or female that is stuck on their ex, stick to screwing around. I hate people that lead others on that they are ready to investigate the relationship waters when they truly are not.
I am just going to be Hank Moody for a while. In the sense of being upfront with women about just wanting fun. I can't handle any more heavy emotional crap as I am still grieving over losing my father last year.
The last thing I need is an emotional breakdown. So I think I will get my sex practice and just be casual. At least I dont have to worry about a girl expecting a relationship since Im going to suck in bed. That should be enough to get them to go away.
I need to be in a strong place mentally and emotionally before entertaining pursuing a relationship. The only way I would pursue a relationship is if the girl has gone through the same sort of things I have.
It helps when you have someone who gets you in that way. And never makes snap judgements as they understand what you are going through.
I know there is good women out there, but it seems like the women I encounter seem to unconsciously thrive on dysfunction. Instead of being in a healthy fun relationship.
All in all, I am just drained and burnt out..
Guess I cant generalize about Fire Signs being strong when it comes to relationships. Maybe my mother was a needle in the haystack of her sign
I keep attracting women who are stuck on their exes and I dont know why. Plus to any male or female that is stuck on their ex, stick to screwing around. I hate people that lead others on that they are ready to investigate the relationship waters when they truly are not.
I am just going to be Hank Moody for a while. In the sense of being upfront with women about just wanting fun. I can't handle any more heavy emotional crap as I am still grieving over losing my father last year.
The last thing I need is an emotional breakdown. So I think I will get my sex practice and just be casual. At least I dont have to worry about a girl expecting a relationship since Im going to suck in bed. That should be enough to get them to go away.
I need to be in a strong place mentally and emotionally before entertaining pursuing a relationship. The only way I would pursue a relationship is if the girl has gone through the same sort of things I have.
It helps when you have someone who gets you in that way. And never makes snap judgements as they understand what you are going through.
I know there is good women out there, but it seems like the women I encounter seem to unconsciously thrive on dysfunction. Instead of being in a healthy fun relationship.
All in all, I am just drained and burnt out..
@Starlover -
Thanks Star I appreciate that.
"uuughh.....what decent woman wants to be with a guy that has bedded loads of women"
Um, 90% of women unfortunately LOL. Women equate men sleeping with loads of women to having skills in the sack. Which can be true half the time.
Also women thrive on a challenge. They want to be the one who tames the lion so to speak. I stress NOT ALL OF THEM, but a lot of a women today unconsciously thrive on drama.
They either think they're not worth the healthy relationship. Or think emotional or physical abuse is a part of passionate love. Hence this Leo chick.
I wouldn't label myself a nice guy as that implies being weak, clingy, and a door mat.
I prefer cool guy meaning I try to be fun, non clingy, non jealous/nonpossessive, funny , but also have a backbone. Meaning if I feel if a girl is wrong on something or just full of crap, I will call them out on it. I most definately will not let myself be walked all over.
I thought that was enough. But it seems like more and more women are more comfortable with cheaters and abusers. As having something stable and secure is boring for them.
Again I know not all girls are like that, but man it sure does seem like it.
I would rather not say what my sun sign is. As I dont feel it describes me at all. Two, I dont want to get judged cause it is one of the signs most complained about here on DXP.
Cause people who dont know about other elements such as moon signs, risings think all signs act the same. Hey I did and I am admitting I was wrong.
I will say that I have a Moon in Sagittarius, Mars in Sagittarius and venus in libra. I feel that aptly describes me pretty well. But I am actually faithful and would never cheat on someone. That is the only difference.
Thanks Star I appreciate that.
"uuughh.....what decent woman wants to be with a guy that has bedded loads of women"
Um, 90% of women unfortunately LOL. Women equate men sleeping with loads of women to having skills in the sack. Which can be true half the time.
Also women thrive on a challenge. They want to be the one who tames the lion so to speak. I stress NOT ALL OF THEM, but a lot of a women today unconsciously thrive on drama.
They either think they're not worth the healthy relationship. Or think emotional or physical abuse is a part of passionate love. Hence this Leo chick.
I wouldn't label myself a nice guy as that implies being weak, clingy, and a door mat.
I prefer cool guy meaning I try to be fun, non clingy, non jealous/nonpossessive, funny , but also have a backbone. Meaning if I feel if a girl is wrong on something or just full of crap, I will call them out on it. I most definately will not let myself be walked all over.
I thought that was enough. But it seems like more and more women are more comfortable with cheaters and abusers. As having something stable and secure is boring for them.
Again I know not all girls are like that, but man it sure does seem like it.
I would rather not say what my sun sign is. As I dont feel it describes me at all. Two, I dont want to get judged cause it is one of the signs most complained about here on DXP.
Cause people who dont know about other elements such as moon signs, risings think all signs act the same. Hey I did and I am admitting I was wrong.
I will say that I have a Moon in Sagittarius, Mars in Sagittarius and venus in libra. I feel that aptly describes me pretty well. But I am actually faithful and would never cheat on someone. That is the only difference.
He keeps us guessing his sign, damn...sorry, my Aqua Mercury can't simply pass this...
So....he's Virgo/Libra/Scorpio/Sag. Could be Leo/Cap too (less likely).
Which of the above signs is "one of the signs most complained about here on DXP"? Scorp?
A virgin Scorp? Could be, since they are a bit of extremists when it comes to sex.
Don't tell me he REALLY is a Virgo...
!
Libra? He writes well.....Maybe his Mercury?
Sag...? Nah, too much Sag won't ignore sex for decades.
So....he's Virgo/Libra/Scorpio/Sag. Could be Leo/Cap too (less likely).
Which of the above signs is "one of the signs most complained about here on DXP"? Scorp?
A virgin Scorp? Could be, since they are a bit of extremists when it comes to sex.
Don't tell me he REALLY is a Virgo...
! Libra? He writes well.....Maybe his Mercury?
Sag...? Nah, too much Sag won't ignore sex for decades.
Posted by HolySnakes07
You seemed like a cool girl. But apparently you're very much a girl in your twenties. I'm sorry you lack any type of emotional maturity. But one day you are going to get hit back to back with hard times and tragedies then you wont be so quick to judge.
The ex batted his eyes and she came running back like a puppy dog.
This girl did not have those key qualities of hers which included self-respect and strength. Sadly she is weak.
wow ....
so, you berate Sag89 for having an immature opinion, then you turn around and have an immature opinion about this Leo girl?
seriously .....
So, because you were wishy-washy and couldn't show this Leo girl any confidence in yourself ... that means she's weak, and doesnt' have self respect?
I have a feeling the reason why this thread exists is for you to get cheap thrills from women PM'ing you about their sexuality ... because you contradict yourself in the first paragraph of the OP when you state your guilt for not being there for your mother, just after claiming you had to give up your teenage years to be with her.
Posted by HolySnakes07
Had a mother who got diagnosed with cancer when I was 15. Was focused on being with her during my time in high school, so never dated.
Mother died when I was 17. I carried a lot of guilt over not really being there like I should have when she was battling cancer.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I also notice that you say .... "Had a mother", and "Mother died" .. which seems to cold and impersonal.
then you turn around and try to act like "mother" was so important to you emotionally that it prevented you from having personal relations.
What bullshit.
Just another Virgo, fishing for cheap thrills ...
Oh, I just noticed how old this post is .....
He has two other threads from months ago in where he hid all of his posts.
Now, let's see how many women in here have enough brain cells to rub together to figure out why ... or, are they just going to continue to swoon over false charm.
Ok, he's not a Virgo.
If he's born in 1980, he is a 34 yrs Scorpio (30 Oct-21 Nov).
If he's born in 1982, he is a 32 yrs Libra or a Scorpio (1 Oct-25 Oct).
He can't be born in 1978, 1979 or 1980!
I bet on Scorpio.
If he's born in 1980, he is a 34 yrs Scorpio (30 Oct-21 Nov).
If he's born in 1982, he is a 32 yrs Libra or a Scorpio (1 Oct-25 Oct).
He can't be born in 1978, 1979 or 1980!
I bet on Scorpio
.*He can't be born in 1978, 1979 or 1981
He is most likely born on 8-10 November 1980.
With an wide orb venus conjunct pluto
There.
With an wide orb venus conjunct pluto
There.
Posted by HolySnakes07
"uuughh.....what decent woman wants to be with a guy that has bedded loads of women"
Um, 90% of women unfortunately LOL. Women equate men sleeping with loads of women to having skills in the sack. Which can be true half the time.
Also women thrive on a challenge. They want to be the one who tames the lion so to speak. I stress NOT ALL OF THEM, but a lot of a women today unconsciously thrive on drama.
They either think they're not worth the healthy relationship. Or think emotional or physical abuse is a part of passionate love.
It amazes me how desperate women are, and how easily they are tricked by false charm.
He starts this off by presenting himself as being completely inexperienced and knowing nothing ..... then once he has the audience he's was aiming for (gullible females), suddenly look at how much he claims to know about women.
He's playing both sides of the fiddle ... it shouldn't be any wonder why women find themselves in fucked up relationships ... look how easily they are played.
I don't mind being played....as long as it's light entertainment for both sides !
!Posted by aquavita
Lucky woman who gets this man.
Yes, Undine ... you've proven numerous times that you're a Player.
But, I was referring to comments like the above, where the women seem completely oblivious to his motives and consider him to be a catch.
We should not confuse being playful with being a player!
Posted by starlover
Aries or Scorpio
He's a Scorp like you, Star!
So while I'm out and about taking care of responsibilities and other things, P-Angel has decided to declare war on me.
Ok so this is the first and last time I engage in a online tete a tete with you P-Angel. I find them to be not productive in the least.
But I am doing it this once to defend and explain myself.
First confidence? That had nothing to do with me not trying anymore with the Leo. Women who are in abusive, toxic relationships are lost causes. There is no point in trying.
I'll give you this P-Angel in retrospect I could have not been snarky about the Leo. It was insensitive to her, but I was in a bad mood.
You caught onto my wicked scheme P-Angel. I'm trying to hustle all the ladies on DXP. I'm using it as my own personal Tinder. Cause its not like I don't have other real in person options or anything.
As far as me "hiding" stuff in threads I am guilty of that. Sometimes you say things you regret that are of a private nature or just has a angry tone. And at least online you can change that. I am guilty of that but so are a lot of peeps here on DXP.
Lastly, where do you get the audacity to say I don't care about my mother? You don't know me. I will never justify my love and admiration for that woman to you. Cause I don't need to.
P-Angel I'm not a Virgo, so you are wayyy off there. I wasn't posting here to get attention. I post like some to vent. Cause I am a very private person. And there is no one in my life I feel comfortable talking about this type of stuff with.
At least online you can be anonymous and vent. Yes, I am inexperienced with women. So why does that disqualify or make me in the wrong for having an opinion?
I've learned a lot from watching other people's relationships in my life. Specifically my female friends experiences. It also helps being in my 30's cause you gain some insight into things you don't in your twenties. I never claimed to be an expert, I was just offering my opinion.
Women are all different. I know not all women are like that. But with my experiences recently it has felt that way. And I have said that more out of frustration than anything else.
I feel sad for you P-Angel. Although some things you say in threads have a grain of truth to them. They're mostly intended to be insulting and stir the pot more than anything else.
You offer no serious value except to spew your bitter venom at people. You don't contribute anything substantive or positive.
Ok so this is the first and last time I engage in a online tete a tete with you P-Angel. I find them to be not productive in the least.
But I am doing it this once to defend and explain myself.
First confidence? That had nothing to do with me not trying anymore with the Leo. Women who are in abusive, toxic relationships are lost causes. There is no point in trying.
I'll give you this P-Angel in retrospect I could have not been snarky about the Leo. It was insensitive to her, but I was in a bad mood.
You caught onto my wicked scheme P-Angel. I'm trying to hustle all the ladies on DXP. I'm using it as my own personal Tinder. Cause its not like I don't have other real in person options or anything.
As far as me "hiding" stuff in threads I am guilty of that. Sometimes you say things you regret that are of a private nature or just has a angry tone. And at least online you can change that. I am guilty of that but so are a lot of peeps here on DXP.
Lastly, where do you get the audacity to say I don't care about my mother? You don't know me. I will never justify my love and admiration for that woman to you. Cause I don't need to.
P-Angel I'm not a Virgo, so you are wayyy off there. I wasn't posting here to get attention. I post like some to vent. Cause I am a very private person. And there is no one in my life I feel comfortable talking about this type of stuff with.
At least online you can be anonymous and vent. Yes, I am inexperienced with women. So why does that disqualify or make me in the wrong for having an opinion?
I've learned a lot from watching other people's relationships in my life. Specifically my female friends experiences. It also helps being in my 30's cause you gain some insight into things you don't in your twenties. I never claimed to be an expert, I was just offering my opinion.
Women are all different. I know not all women are like that. But with my experiences recently it has felt that way. And I have said that more out of frustration than anything else.
I feel sad for you P-Angel. Although some things you say in threads have a grain of truth to them. They're mostly intended to be insulting and stir the pot more than anything else.
You offer no serious value except to spew your bitter venom at people. You don't contribute anything substantive or positive.
Posted by starlover
I wouldnt be surprised.......how do you know Undine?
I am very playful, but if anyone messes me around, i will sting them...never been cheated on, if it happens out comes the axe
It's quite easy to determine his sign from the info he gave us: age, moon, venus and mars, using cafe-astrology's tables.
Posted by Undine
He keeps us guessing his sign, damn...sorry, my Aqua Mercury can't simply pass this...
So....he's Virgo/Libra/Scorpio/Sag. Could be Leo/Cap too (less likely).
Which of the above signs is "one of the signs most complained about here on DXP"? Scorp?
A virgin Scorp? Could be, since they are a bit of extremists when it comes to sex.
Don't tell me he REALLY is a Virgo...
Libra? He writes well.....Maybe his Mercury?
Sag...? Nah, too much Sag won't ignore sex for decades.
My bet is Scorp. Too evasive and overly concerned with controlling the outcome
.Yup, based on his reply to P. I'm gonna go with Scorp.
Posted by UndinePosted by starlover
I wouldnt be surprised.......how do you know Undine?
I am very playful, but if anyone messes me around, i will sting them...never been cheated on, if it happens out comes the axe
It's quite easy to determine his sign from the info he gave us: age, moon, venus and mars, using cafe-astrology's tables.click to expand
Lol. Or I could have just done that. Mystery solved.
Posted by Undine
We should not confuse being playful with being a player!
You're the one who is confused ..... because you're the one who said you don't mind being played.
If you meant you don't mind being playful, then you should have said that.
So, if you want to address who the "we" is here, as who shouldn't confuse the two ... it's you.
Posted by Undine
I don't mind being played....
click to expand
Posted by fishinamaize
To be fair P, it's not like it was ONLY women who believed him. But I DID wonder if any women would see through it; shouldn't be surprised it was you.
Clearly too polished to be a mid-30's virgin. Too easily manipulated people's emotions... Scorpio indeed
You're right, men were also fooled by him.
for the life of me .... I cannot fathom why his deception isn't obvious
Deception or not you really need to let go of this mentality. I suggest getting checked out for signs of anxiety or depression and I mean it, professional advice. You are adding more weight to your baggage by the second and pinning everyone else for it.
That rock bottom is looking pretty close right about now.
Get yourself sorted before addressing virgin issues. Or you can look for another destroyed soul like you said - ones not willing to help themselves so you can both crash and burn.
Now normally I'd be more optimistic but you've spewed nothing but pessimism.
That rock bottom is looking pretty close right about now.
Get yourself sorted before addressing virgin issues. Or you can look for another destroyed soul like you said - ones not willing to help themselves so you can both crash and burn.
Now normally I'd be more optimistic but you've spewed nothing but pessimism.
Posted by fishinamaize
Whether he is lying or not, doesn't matter to me. Maybe he is, maybe not. But when I first read this thread, before P ever said anything, it jumped out to me that it was BS and I DID catch the impersonal wording she mentioned. I was just curious to see if anyone else caught that.
my thoughts exactly ^
Posted by starlover
..so how is a 30yr old virgin *supposed* to sound ?
lol
Like a cross between the village idiot and a pervert?
Intelligent? So is the HolySnake .
Still, there is one question on the tip of one's tongue: what's wrong with him?
Holy (or shall we call him Snake...?) actually tried to explain what was wrong with him...insecurity, scars, grief, etc...... because....that is an obvious question, Star.
.Still, there is one question on the tip of one's tongue: what's wrong with him?
Holy (or shall we call him Snake...?) actually tried to explain what was wrong with him...insecurity, scars, grief, etc...... because....that is an obvious question, Star.
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