Ladies, what do you think of guys....

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by rockyroadicecream on Sunday, April 7, 2013 and has 16 replies.
With many female friends? We're excluding gay guys here.
I think there can be pros and cons. Pros being they tend to be more in tune with women and a bit more understanding. It can be a good thing when a guy has some female friends and not just all guys- to an extent.
Cons- while they're understanding, at the same time it can work against women- read: player.
They can be hard to read. They're so comfortable around women that their actions are hard to distinguish because they do things that would be interest in any regular circumstance, but then you see them treat all their friends like this. I've experienced it so many times with guys. I'd say that this is my main gripe, tbh. Makes them soo hard to read at times.
Also, if he hasn't balanced it all out enough, I can see it affecting any relationships- where the girlfriend would have to compete with all of the other female friends. But I'd think that'd be for guys who just don't have their shit together, tbh.
So what do you think? Good or bad? What are your experiences.
I seem to get involved with or attract guys who have a lot of girl friends over guy friends. It makes me worry about things like 'what if one or a few of those girls have hidden agendas when hanging out with them'. While I trust the guy I'm with, I just don't want those kind of girls around my man. I let him make his own decisions, though. I haven't yet had it become too much of a problem. I've never had trouble figuring out whether or not those guys liked me or not because they were all upfront about their feelings/interests. Though, one did like to talk to is girl friends when things weren't going right with us. He also got together with one of them shortly after we broke up. So, I can see how some emotional cheating may be started with that, or even physical cheating. They have easier options that way. Easier rebounds. Whatever you want to call it.
Overall, I wouldn't say that having mainly friends that are girls is better or worse as far as being an indicator of what type of person that guy is, personality-wise, or otherwise (though, I'm sure there are differences in personality that could be considered preferences to some). It just can sometimes create bad or annoying situations.
I've never really gotten to know too many friends of my exes, but maybe if there were more girls, I'd get along better with them. I don't know, though.
The last time I remember having a guy as a real one on one friend, (hang out, go to the movies) was when I was a 16, probably.
Now, it's just mixed groups consisting of 3 or more friends
I've never been comfortable with it. But I think it's because I've dated people who made me feel like they were having an emotional affair with them or I was being constantly compared.
If I met a man who didn't make it feel threatening, I wouldn't mind at all.

Being young sucks I feel like I haven't met anyone I really like yet and I'm still growing into myself. Sometimes I just wish I had the answers!
Omg I hate typing on a phone!! Anyway but at the same time you don't wanna really date a guy who has no girl friends maybe because you might wonder how he really feels about women. Personal, I have rarely had any male friends and it's cause I have a lot of dis trust with them and didn't really like them.
It could be totally be the same with men with no female friends. But at the same time, who knows.
Blahahahahahahhahahaah ^
I think it depends on the age of the guy.
Posted by feb16aqua
I don't mind any friends my guy has, men or women. As long as it doesn't compromise what we have I could care less. Heck, it's more people to chill with anyway lol.


Right?
This guy I've been seeing is making me rethink how laid back I am about this stuff. It's starting to make me feel really insecure because I feel I'm having to compete with these chicks at this point. I really don't like that because I know I shouldn't have to worry about all of this. I've been the girl on the other side that girlfriends DON'T have to worry about.
But I totally agree with your sentiment. I had no problems until they started cutting into our time and now this competition stuff. We're not exclusive, but I'm starting to think I don't want to be if this is what I have to deal with, gawd.
Posted by pathfinder
I think it depends on the age of the guy.
click to expand


What age would it be an issue? At what age isn't it an issue?
Some of these responses are interesting.
Those of you who hate the idea, were you ever tomboys growing up? Or did you have a lot of guy friends growing up?
"But I totally agree with your sentiment. I had no problems until they started cutting into our time and now this competition stuff. We're not exclusive, but I'm starting to think I don't want to be if this is what I have to deal with, gawd."

First off to answer your original question, I have a lot of guy friends, more than female friends. It wouldn't bother me if the guy I'm seeing also has female friends. Probably the reason for that is, I go slow in the beginning of a relationship to get to know the guy FIRST. I'd like to know if he and I can sustain a good friendship with some extras's thrown in Winking I tend to feel things out, his behavior with me, in public and around his and my friends first. That alone is a good gauge to see how things can go down the road. My advice to you is to do the same, and if these friends of his are butting in a lot...NOW would be the time to be subtle and let him know "hey, I'd like some alone time with you, is that ok"? See how he reacts. If a guy is really into you the alone time will take priority over the hangin out with friends time..Considering you are not exclusive, I'd give it some more time and just observe.
It doesnt bother me, as long as both they have boundaries. I have had exes that did date their friends afterwards which never really work, to me it was his Loss, cause I didnt fake having feelings, plus I know I`m pretty Dam Amazing. I also Have alot of Male friends, who are just friends and I get along great with their gf`s.
I am still a bit of a TomBoy, I can`t help it, plus most of the people I work with are Men, since being in the military there isnt many women..
Good topic. Some men are effeminate like cancer, Pisces and libra men. Lol. He could be a player, but you'd know by his voice, masculinity factor and how smooth he is when he sweet talks. Moving on to the topic, I have no prob with him being friends with a lot of female friends given that I have the same privilege smile Hypocritical behaviour isn't gonna work. Would I personally like it, nope. That's because most women are catty (jealous, envious etc.) I also find a lot of women to be emotional in their thinking rather than logical so I don't expect them to give my man wise feedback or get intuned with a woman's point of view. Only impulsive advice would be given unless she's a logical woman and has no interes in my man whatsoever.
Well I ask about the tomboy factor because in my experience, I've noticed that women who grew up a tomboy or they were "one of the guys" have fewer issues about guys with girls for friends as opposed to "girly girls" who didn't grow up with many guy friends or mostly had female friends.
I dont mind it at all...as long a I know they are really friends......if I cant meet them then of course ill feel a certain way.

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