Long term relationships with no future

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Scorpiogirl30 on Wednesday, July 25, 2018 and has 54 replies.
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I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
I agree, this is a crazy idea to me. I know everyone has a pace some slower than others but to be with after 5 years and there is no plan of marriage, I'm out.

I had a friend who wasted 10 years with a guy, the better part of her 20s . He knew her intentions and that she wanted to be married, kids yadda yadda, and after 10 years he finally just said to her, yeah I never saw .marriage or kids in my future.

It's just unfair to spring that on someone 10 years later.

She left him in a hurry I can tell you that. But it's hard for her to sort of pick up the pieces and begun again.

I could never be so patient.

All I can say is women; make sure you have that conversation early on and keep brining it up. Also if he says "no" or his valves aren't inline with yours, say. Uh bye. You aren't going to change his mind. And that's how you end up wasting time, with never getting what you want.
Posted by Caplove

That's a long time! Did she want to get married? Was that the plan she had in mind?
The woman left and the guy claims he is scarred because she left and he is upset. He said they never talked about marriage and was just in a relationship
Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
I totally agree with you! My father always taught me that men know what they want when they see it but will happily drag their feet until something better comes along. He married my mother after a year and told me not to "date" a man for longer than 2 years. If you still want to see him thats fine but start dating others also and no longer make him a priority.

I evaluate my relationships like companies evaluate their employees lol. Every quarter/3 months I assess my relationship. Is it progressing, do the good still out weight the bad, is his actions matching his words. etc. If the relationship is still going good then I keep going. If I start to feel something is off, then I talk with the guy and make sure we're on common ground before moving forward.
Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?

A piece of paper doesn’t mean anything you could get a divorce after 16 years. Some people don’t want kids I see the only reason to marry us to provide a family for kids otherwise if you’re in a monogamous relationship you are making a future together just without the paper
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Well I hope who ever you date you let them know up front because what you label a piece of paper is something that makes the relationship honorable there is no future without marriage your would just be dating then break up without nothing to show for it but waisted years
Posted by Cancer Lady

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
I totally agree with you! My father always taught me that men know what they want when they see it but will happily drag their feet until something better comes along. He married my mother after a year and told me not to "date" a man for longer than 2 years. If you still want to see him thats fine but start dating others also and no longer make him a priority.

I evaluate my relationships like companies evaluate their employees lol. Every quarter/3 months I assess my relationship. Is it progressing, do the good still out weight the bad, is his actions matching his words. etc. If the relationship is still going good then I keep going. If I start to feel something is off, then I talk with the guy and make sure we're on common ground before moving forward.
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I totally agree but people today want to rewrite the rules at least both people should be honest about their intentions if they don’t believe in marriage just move alone and stop waisting time
Posted by C69

nothing much happens after marriage, so from that point of view why bother

but that’s just my opinion, I have never been married and I’m kinda programmed into thinking that it’s just a paper and a new ring
Do you believe in GOD?
Marriage today, in my opinion, is for tax purposes and financial benefits. A legal document in no way, shape, or form, dictates whether two people are in a loving relationship or not. The goal of a relationship, is to maintain a lasting, mutually beneficial, and loving partnership that weathers the ups and downs of every day life. The goal should never be a tangible ring, or piece of paper.

People marry everyday, and divorce within a few years later. So marriage has lost it's value.

Will I get married again myself, more than likely. But do I need it? No, I don't.
Posted by C69

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by C69

nothing much happens after marriage, so from that point of view why bother

but that’s just my opinion, I have never been married and I’m kinda programmed into thinking that it’s just a paper and a new ring
Do you believe in GOD?
I’m a weak agnostic, so it’s more yes than no

but I don’t practice any kind of rituals, I’m just not

No I completely understand but marriage is definely not just a piece of paper it’s a more like a merging of souls so to speak you become one with your husband I’ve been married before and going through a divorce but I still believe in marriage and understand that it takes a lot of work the devil hates marriage so he tries to break it up god has to be in the center of your marriage for it to last that’s the mistake I Made and also forgetting who the enemy is
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Posted by JanMayMarry

I've always believe it ain't right to stay together before marriage because it defeats the purpose. Men will think there's no need for marriage since they getting the same deal.

Personally, I want to be married again. I feel more secure knowing that the man I am with, is my rightfully husband than to just be sleeping with a stranger.

I've been there. Hanging on in a 5 years relationship that has no goals. Won't do that ever again! Urghh


I feel the same I would love to be married again marriage is not the problem but to wait around I haven’t experienced that I was married after 1 year together it’s just natural when you find some who provides that sercurity I could never understand people who say it’s just a piece of paper

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?

A piece of paper doesn’t mean anything you could get a divorce after 16 years. Some people don’t want kids I see the only reason to marry us to provide a family for kids otherwise if you’re in a monogamous relationship you are making a future together just without the paper
Well I hope who ever you date you let them know up front because what you label a piece of paper is something that makes the relationship honorable there is no future without marriage your would just be dating then break up without nothing to show for it but waisted years


Keep thinking that

Marriage some savior of a realationship

Mmmm was married n wow it’s was honorable

Still no future after divorce n would you say wasted time?? Oh it makes it better because I got money from ex?? If that’s what u mean

Now if u want marriage go for it

I say experience it at least one

But it ain’t no magic pill that keeps a relationship intact

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Sorry for your lost but I don’t feel the same why nothing holds a relationship together but God what is meant to be will be but I refused to reduce something so special to a piece of paper nothing is promised but I feel better going through it with someone who has the same values as me just dating will never be enough for me but to each it’s own
Posted by Impulsv

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Well they spent a life together, she should get whatever she deserves however it all depends on the partner. I know people who got screwed even when they were married. I also know people who chose to never get married and just live together for a lifetime.

But you should always take care of yourself, you never know what’ll happen in life..


This if u want marriage well don’t fool yourself with someone who doesn’t .

But don’t knockdown someone else’s relationship because it has no paper

I’ve seen them stronger n more real that those who claim marriage n stay just for financial reasons

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I never knocked anyone down I’m just saying for me it makes no sense to lead another person on if you don’t believe in marriage nothing is strong if it’s not took before God but if you don’t believe in God then I can see how you came to that conclusion
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Well they spent a life together, she should get whatever she deserves however it all depends on the partner. I know people who got screwed even when they were married. I also know people who chose to never get married and just live together for a lifetime.

But you should always take care of yourself, you never know what’ll happen in life..


This if u want marriage well don’t fool yourself with someone who doesn’t .

But don’t knockdown someone else’s relationship because it has no paper

I’ve seen them stronger n more real that those who claim marriage n stay just for financial reasons

I never knocked anyone down I’m just saying for me it makes no sense to lead another person on if you don’t believe in marriage nothing is strong if it’s not took before God but if you don’t believe in God then I can see how you came to that conclusion
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But isn’t god everywhere, always?

I don’t see how making a commitment in a church changes anything...
Why do women stay in abusive marriages?

I see a few reasons.

Woman have low self esteem and happy to have anybody on any terms! Because if she says something he might fly...

Or he is a such a good provider that she knows she can’t find anybody if his wealth so she just living. Laughing at her married struggling financially friends!

Or she is staying for the time before someone else will come along. And since nobody is coming - it’s a habit that...why to break?

No one will admit the truth so it’s pointless to try to figure out...why? Because!
Posted by Impulsv

Rights lo

I don’t need to weasel money out of a ex from divorce I have my own goddamn money. So the paper means nothing to me. Plus I’ve been married so I know how overrated that is

Good marriage is not overrated!

It’s a blessing!

Those who hadn’t been lucky in this department shouldn’t be talking about things they have no idea about.
Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Well they spent a life together, she should get whatever she deserves however it all depends on the partner. I know people who got screwed even when they were married. I also know people who chose to never get married and just live together for a lifetime.

But you should always take care of yourself, you never know what’ll happen in life..


This if u want marriage well don’t fool yourself with someone who doesn’t .

But don’t knockdown someone else’s relationship because it has no paper

I’ve seen them stronger n more real that those who claim marriage n stay just for financial reasons

I never knocked anyone down I’m just saying for me it makes no sense to lead another person on if you don’t believe in marriage nothing is strong if it’s not took before God but if you don’t believe in God then I can see how you came to that conclusion
But isn’t god everywhere, always?

I don’t see how making a commitment in a church changes anything...
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I’m not going to debate if you don’t believe find
Posted by tiziani

As for the OP question, I felt like it's all in the approach.

At the beginning of the relationship, clear stated goals = refreshing, respectable no matter what the values are.

On the other hand if the goal is to hang and spend quality time together that is just as good. But if it starts being reduced to arbitrary milestones along the way, and gradually the goalposts get shifted more and more, I feel like there is a part of me that fundamentally wants to deny that woman what she is angling for in that situation.

TLDR - it goes better if both people know and share clearly what they want from the start.

Never said to measure milestone but no one can convince me that staying in a 2+ year relationship with no type of marriage talk is normal but I agree to disagree

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Well they spent a life together, she should get whatever she deserves however it all depends on the partner. I know people who got screwed even when they were married. I also know people who chose to never get married and just live together for a lifetime.

But you should always take care of yourself, you never know what’ll happen in life..


This if u want marriage well don’t fool yourself with someone who doesn’t .

But don’t knockdown someone else’s relationship because it has no paper

I’ve seen them stronger n more real that those who claim marriage n stay just for financial reasons

I never knocked anyone down I’m just saying for me it makes no sense to lead another person on if you don’t believe in marriage nothing is strong if it’s not took before God but if you don’t believe in God then I can see how you came to that conclusion
But isn’t god everywhere, always?

I don’t see how making a commitment in a church changes anything...
I’m not going to debate if you don’t believe find
click to expand
Isn't that why you posted this thread...looking for peoples opinions?

Re-phrase your op if not...
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
The same men... if they would've gotten married, would've prolly left/divorced at that 16 year mark. Maybe even before. Marriage doesn't guarantee forever. Marriage doesn't guarantee fidelity. Plenty of married men and women out there acting scandalous and cheating.

Also being in a committed relationship without marriage doesn't mean you aren't committed to the future with your partner and making plans. Different strokes for different folks.
Posted by tiziani

@Scorpiogirl30 I was sharing two different types of approach I've seen and been part of myself. Not trying to convince you or anyone of what's normal, you gotta do what works for you. I've seen the approach with the least headache is to be upfront as soon as possible at the beginning but it's not a hard or fast rule.
maybe In the beginning a person is unsure but then they should tell the other person that they don’t see themselves being married just to set them free or decide to stay
Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Well they spent a life together, she should get whatever she deserves however it all depends on the partner. I know people who got screwed even when they were married. I also know people who chose to never get married and just live together for a lifetime.

But you should always take care of yourself, you never know what’ll happen in life..


This if u want marriage well don’t fool yourself with someone who doesn’t .

But don’t knockdown someone else’s relationship because it has no paper

I’ve seen them stronger n more real that those who claim marriage n stay just for financial reasons

I never knocked anyone down I’m just saying for me it makes no sense to lead another person on if you don’t believe in marriage nothing is strong if it’s not took before God but if you don’t believe in God then I can see how you came to that conclusion
But isn’t god everywhere, always?

I don’t see how making a commitment in a church changes anything...
I’m not going to debate if you don’t believe find
Isn't that why you posted this thread...looking for peoples opinions?

Re-phrase your op if not...
click to expand
Getting a opinion is not a debate I can’t convince you to believe or explain my reasoning maybe you should just comment and go don’t ask me questions or think I’m going to defend my stance and explain to you
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by RooSagicorn

16 years? I sure hope they lived together! Then you should have some rights. Depends on where though.. some states you are common law after a few years.

My ex-husband is in a 4 yr relationship & they still don’t live together. He told our daughter he’s never getting married again... so she puts up with it? So he does it. We were living together after 1 1/2 years, married at 3 1/2 years.. so he does have it in him. And 2 kids.
Yeah they lived together with 2 kids
Well they spent a life together, she should get whatever she deserves however it all depends on the partner. I know people who got screwed even when they were married. I also know people who chose to never get married and just live together for a lifetime.

But you should always take care of yourself, you never know what’ll happen in life..


This if u want marriage well don’t fool yourself with someone who doesn’t .

But don’t knockdown someone else’s relationship because it has no paper

I’ve seen them stronger n more real that those who claim marriage n stay just for financial reasons

I never knocked anyone down I’m just saying for me it makes no sense to lead another person on if you don’t believe in marriage nothing is strong if it’s not took before God but if you don’t believe in God then I can see how you came to that conclusion
But isn’t god everywhere, always?

I don’t see how making a commitment in a church changes anything...
I’m not going to debate if you don’t believe find
Isn't that why you posted this thread...looking for peoples opinions?

Re-phrase your op if not...
Getting a opinion is not a debate I can’t convince you to believe or explain my reasoning maybe you should just comment and go don’t ask me questions or think I’m going to defend my stance and explain to you
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Touchy. Take that to god. I'm not the one.
common law marriages also are a thing you know?

but i do agree with other posters if the piece of paper is a big deal to you

you should definitely have that conversation early on
Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
The same men... if they would've gotten married, would've prolly left/divorced at that 16 year mark. Maybe even before. Marriage doesn't guarantee forever. Marriage doesn't guarantee fidelity. Plenty of married men and women out there acting scandalous and cheating.

Also being in a committed relationship without marriage doesn't mean you aren't committed to the future with your partner and making plans. Different strokes for different folks.
click to expand


No one is saying it’s a guarantee that the marriage will last forever it’s the principals that marriage is built on
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
The same men... if they would've gotten married, would've prolly left/divorced at that 16 year mark. Maybe even before. Marriage doesn't guarantee forever. Marriage doesn't guarantee fidelity. Plenty of married men and women out there acting scandalous and cheating.

Also being in a committed relationship without marriage doesn't mean you aren't committed to the future with your partner and making plans. Different strokes for different folks.


No one is saying it’s a guarantee that the marriage will last forever it’s the principals that marriage is built on
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Principles such as no pre-nup?
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?

A piece of paper doesn’t mean anything you could get a divorce after 16 years. Some people don’t want kids I see the only reason to marry us to provide a family for kids otherwise if you’re in a monogamous relationship you are making a future together just without the paper
Well I hope who ever you date you let them know up front because what you label a piece of paper is something that makes the relationship honorable there is no future without marriage your would just be dating then break up without nothing to show for it but waisted years
click to expand
You’re saying all this to someone who was married before and had a very difficult divorce.

It's not uncommon for people to not want to remarry after going through the divorce process. Sometimes that process can take years, and let's not forget the need to get over the loss and trauma. So can you blame her for thinking that marriage is overrated?
Posted by ellesbelles

Posted by Caramelprincess

The point of the post is when the girl DOES want all these things for all of you saying nah I don’t want marriage it’s just a paper.

Like sure do what you want you’re grown ups don’t get married if you don’t want to, but do share that with each other. Some men never do. They want all the benefits but the option to run away like a child when it gets too scary.
It's not always men. I want to run away like a child when it gets too scary too. 🤣🤣🤣
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I dunno why this made me laugh...

User Submitted Image
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

I have a question about a topic that caught my attention. Why do men stay in long term relationships with no plans to marry? I mean I’m hearing about 16 year relationships just breaking up and the woman are expected to move on like nothing happened and is owed nothing! I don’t know if sounds crazy to me I don’t believe a relationship should go pass two years without marriage being a option some woman claim to be cool with it since the relationship is going so well why complicate it but I just can’t believe anybody could be happy in a 6 year relationship with no future plans and I crazy or is this normal?
How can you be longterm and have no future?

Marriage is THE future of futures?
Posted by Caramelprincess

The point of the post is when the girl DOES want all these things for all of you saying nah I don’t want marriage it’s just a paper.

Like sure do what you want you’re grown ups don’t get married if you don’t want to, but do share that with each other. Some men never do. They want all the benefits but the option to run away like a child when it gets too scary.
You get it ! I should of said men should only comment no one wants to hear the sob stories and how you don’t believe in marriage okay so what move on the question was why do men carry on relationships with no intentions to marry not one person answered the question just couldn’t wait to throw out negative and irrelevant comments
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by Caramelprincess

The point of the post is when the girl DOES want all these things for all of you saying nah I don’t want marriage it’s just a paper.

Like sure do what you want you’re grown ups don’t get married if you don’t want to, but do share that with each other. Some men never do. They want all the benefits but the option to run away like a child when it gets too scary.
You get it ! I should of said men should only comment no one wants to hear the sob stories and how you don’t believe in marriage okay so what move on the question was why do men carry on relationships with no intentions to marry not one person answered the question just couldn’t wait to throw out negative and irrelevant comments
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You should have posted this in the man cave forum then.

When you come on a public forum to ask a question, you gotta expect both negative and positive, relevant and irrelevant answers. It's up to you to sift through and all that and get the answers you seek. Making judgmental comments at someone without knowing the basis of her answer will only encourage further negativity and you will probably get lost and not get the answers you want.
i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.
Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.
Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.
Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
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yeah i would be upset. i'd be lying if i said no.

ultimately though, if he didn't feel it was right for him, then maybe it wasn't. if another woman is the one who he felt strongly enough to marry then maybe he saved us years of being unhappy and unfulfilled.
Posted by i-xy

Scorpio ex wanted a long term with a gemini (he cheated on me with her) and said no marriage. Whatever it will be. There's more breathing space with no marriage and no headache with the labels. At least that's what the exscorp said.

"More breathing space?" Nah, more space for extra coochie.

I hope this isn't the one you had a "deep connection" with.
Posted by Chesh

...Because divorce is high in numbers. I honestly wouldn't mind getting married in my 50's or 60's if I had to do it over again.
I know couples who get divorced in 70's. Not marry, marrying, doesn't avoid a break-up... however categorized.

You might be too young but this famous couple got divorced in their 70's after 40 years of marriage.

Captain (Virgo) & Tennille (Taurus)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_% 26_Tennille



Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.




Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
yeah i would be upset. i'd be lying if i said no.

ultimately though, if he didn't feel it was right for him, then maybe it wasn't. if another woman is the one who he felt strongly enough to marry then maybe he saved us years of being unhappy


See that’s the purpose of my post to see try to understand why men won’t communicate that they don’t see marriage in the future because moving on and marrying someone else is hurtful
click to expand

Posted by FantamRooster

One of the most depressing thoughts I've ever had is that the best possible outcome of a successful marriage is one of you gets to watch the other one die after you're already very old.

You're welcome.
I think it’s a gift from God to with the one you love some people are so connected they die right after their partner
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.




Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
yeah i would be upset. i'd be lying if i said no.

ultimately though, if he didn't feel it was right for him, then maybe it wasn't. if another woman is the one who he felt strongly enough to marry then maybe he saved us years of being unhappy


See that’s the purpose of my post to see try to understand why men won’t communicate that they don’t see marriage in the future because moving on and marrying someone else is hurtful

click to expand


i guess the way you think people should behave is rarely how people actually behave.

we are all flawed. perhaps this guy didn't know until 16 years down the line. maybe he was just going with the flow until one day the clouds lifted and he thought, wtf? yes, it's hurtful. you know what's more hurtful? doing it after 20 years, 25 years, 30 years.

we are all just trying to be happy and doing the very best we can with what know how to do.
Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.




Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
yeah i would be upset. i'd be lying if i said no.

ultimately though, if he didn't feel it was right for him, then maybe it wasn't. if another woman is the one who he felt strongly enough to marry then maybe he saved us years of being unhappy


See that’s the purpose of my post to see try to understand why men won’t communicate that they don’t see marriage in the future because moving on and marrying someone else is hurtful



i guess the way you think people should behave is rarely how people actually behave.

we are all flawed. perhaps this guy didn't know until 16 years down the line. maybe he was just going with the flow until one day the clouds lifted and he thought, wtf? yes, it's hurtful. you know what's more hurtful? doing it after 20 years, 25 years, 30 years.

we are all just trying to be happy and doing the very best we can with what know how to do.
click to expand
No he told me he was never emotional connected to her and knew he would never marry her he just didn’t tell her because she never ask She left him and moved on
Posted by FantamRooster

One of the most depressing thoughts I've ever had is that the best possible outcome of a successful marriage is one of you gets to watch the other one die after you're already very old.

You're welcome.
Had the thought 14 years ago - thank you.

One of the reasons I was okay with divorcing my then and still husband. Divorced for 4 of our 24 years.

He told me he knew I felt that way. He just knew.
Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.




Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
yeah i would be upset. i'd be lying if i said no.

ultimately though, if he didn't feel it was right for him, then maybe it wasn't. if another woman is the one who he felt strongly enough to marry then maybe he saved us years of being unhappy


See that’s the purpose of my post to see try to understand why men won’t communicate that they don’t see marriage in the future because moving on and marrying someone else is hurtful



i guess the way you think people should behave is rarely how people actually behave.

we are all flawed. perhaps this guy didn't know until 16 years down the line. maybe he was just going with the flow until one day the clouds lifted and he thought, wtf? yes, it's hurtful. you know what's more hurtful? doing it after 20 years, 25 years, 30 years.

we are all just trying to be happy and doing the very best we can with what know how to do.
No he told me he was never emotional connected to her and knew he would never marry her he just didn’t tell her because she never ask She left him and moved on
click to expand


i'm glad she had the courage to leave him. that's a shitty situation and i guess she shares partly the blame that she didn't establish if they were on the same page a decade and a half prior.

women come here and say "ooh, i don't want to push him/appear clingy" when you have a right to know if your needs are going to be met. i guess this is the extreme version of it.
Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by jeane

i've been with my partner now for 4 years and in no rush to get married.




Okay would you be upset if he didn’t marry u and y’all break up and he marry somebody else after knowing them less than 4 years
yeah i would be upset. i'd be lying if i said no.

ultimately though, if he didn't feel it was right for him, then maybe it wasn't. if another woman is the one who he felt strongly enough to marry then maybe he saved us years of being unhappy


See that’s the purpose of my post to see try to understand why men won’t communicate that they don’t see marriage in the future because moving on and marrying someone else is hurtful



i guess the way you think people should behave is rarely how people actually behave.

we are all flawed. perhaps this guy didn't know until 16 years down the line. maybe he was just going with the flow until one day the clouds lifted and he thought, wtf? yes, it's hurtful. you know what's more hurtful? doing it after 20 years, 25 years, 30 years.

we are all just trying to be happy and doing the very best we can with what know how to do.
No he told me he was never emotional connected to her and knew he would never marry her he just didn’t tell her because she never ask She left him and moved on
Why did she never ask? That’s a long time to be waiting for a proposal.. I can’t imagine never talking about it for that many years.
click to expand
He said that she never talked about it she never brought it up I guess she kept it in and became resentful he said they had a messy breakup
Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by Scorpiogirl30

Posted by FantamRooster

One of the most depressing thoughts I've ever had is that the best possible outcome of a successful marriage is one of you gets to watch the other one die after you're already very old.

You're welcome.
I think it’s a gift from God to with the one you love some people are so connected they die right after their partner
It's both a comfort and depressing to me. I'm younger and female, so I'm probably gonna be the one who watches and grieves.


Depends,if not too drastically younger doesn't have to be that way. In both aides of my grandparents grandma was first to go. Mom's side both from illness. Dad's side simply old age, but grandma was atill younger 3 or 4 years. Grandpa passed away month after her. So who knows...

I was told that people with that type of connection can’t survive without each other so when one die the other can’t live without them and die. You can even die from a broken heart
click to expand

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by FantamRooster

One of the most depressing thoughts I've ever had is that the best possible outcome of a successful marriage is one of you gets to watch the other one die after you're already very old.

You're welcome.
Had the thought 14 years ago - thank you.

One of the reasons I was okay with divorcing my then and still husband. Divorced for 4 of our 24 years.

He told me he knew I felt that way. He just knew.
What do you mean? You wanted to split because you couldn't stand the idea of watching him die some day?
click to expand
No, not the reason for divorce... the solace in divorce.
Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by FantamRooster

One of the most depressing thoughts I've ever had is that the best possible outcome of a successful marriage is one of you gets to watch the other one die after you're already very old.

You're welcome.
Had the thought 14 years ago - thank you.

One of the reasons I was okay with divorcing my then and still husband. Divorced for 4 of our 24 years.

He told me he knew I felt that way. He just knew.
What do you mean? You wanted to split because you couldn't stand the idea of watching him die some day?
click to expand
Right I would be happy to have had all those years together imagine spending all those years with the person you love and they die that’s the most honorable death to me and life. No I’m not saying if someone don’t have the same life they are not honorable this is my opinion on a life style I hope to have this is not dismissing the new age relationships this is just my preference
Posted by Impulsv

the thing is women think they are protected n normally the guys is the one who loses the most.

Never thought about how he can rack up 200 k n ur responsibility. Or he lost his job for past two years and now u need to

Pay to accommodate the life style he has been used to.

Or he makes better money than you as self contracted but he’ll go after your retirement n benifits


Mmm who has it better then ?


sounds like life....and hardship and responsibilities.

eww. lol
Posted by Scorpiogirl30: "Sorry for your lost but I don’t feel the same why nothing holds a relationship together but God what is meant to be will be but I refused to reduce something so special to a piece of paper nothing is promised but I feel better going through it with someone who has the same values as me just dating will never be enough for me but to each it’s own"


I admire your values, you should definitely find a fellow believer who has the same values as you. For many of us, marriage it just an insurance policy that the one wanting to leave first may have a hard time doing so, especially if they were also the one who brought more money and goods into the relationship.

I've been both married and living together without a certificate. Both relationships lasted long (as long as I wanted) and felt no different quality-wise, except for the fact that I HATED to be referred to as "my wife". It sounded to me like "my dog". I have a name, ffs!

Posted by Undine

Posted by Scorpiogirl30: "Sorry for your lost but I don’t feel the same why nothing holds a relationship together but God what is meant to be will be but I refused to reduce something so special to a piece of paper nothing is promised but I feel better going through it with someone who has the same values as me just dating will never be enough for me but to each it’s own"


I admire your values, you should definitely find a fellow believer who has the same values as you. For many of us, marriage it just an insurance policy that the one wanting to leave first may have a hard time doing so, especially if they were also the one who brought more money and goods into the relationship.

I've been both married and living together without a certificate. Both relationships lasted long (as long as I wanted) and felt no different quality-wise, except for the fact that I HATED to be referred to as "my wife". It sounded to me like "my dog". I have a name, ffs!

I'm a believer and share some of your views too. I agree with some of Scorpiogirl30's post as well.
It makes me laugh to see people equating "Long term relationships with no future" with "no marriage". The future of a relationship depends on many things....marriage is just one of them. You probably heard of couple marrying after 10 years together, and then divorcing a few month later.

I actually admire long term relationship without a certificate. It means they still want to be together because they are happy together, and not because they are afraid of the divorce!

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