Married Men?

Okay question for the married men?

1 - Why do you find it necessary to be miserable and still stay married? (capricorn experience)

2 - If you are in a relationship and things are going south, why do you take up a lover or want to have a lover just in case the marriage bails? (Libra experience)

3 - If you are married why do you flirt with other women in front of your wife? (Cancer experience)

4 - If you are married why are you asking out single women and posing as a single man? (Leo experience)Seriously do you think we don't find out?

I know it is an age thing because most men my age are married. I just had to shoot this out there. Over the last two years I have had these type of four men try to make the move on me.

I am very black and white, you either are in a relationship or your not. Believe it or not, even as sexually liberated as I am, I do respect the sanctuary of marriage and frown on men who are still attached and wanting the hook up.

PD

Maybe you can help me. I'm a Pisces and I just started dating a Libra man that's recently divorced we share a lot of things in common but how do i keep him balanced. I read a lot of suggestions about for me not to show uncertainity because it may cause him to back off. He is very sensual and sexual. I feel like I'm coming and going.

PD...I know a Cappy man who has been married for a very long time however, he is not happily married. I have asked him why he stays - answer, guilt. He feels he made his bed and now he needs to lie in it. Doesn't want to cause any problems within the family unit. He is not a happy cappy...at least not as happy as he could be.

I know a Gem who has also been married for quite awhile - I asked him the same question after listening to his unhappy stories of his marriage...his answer? doesn't want to part with his money or deal with his wife being all emotional about it.

Oh...also know of an Aqua who too is in an unhappy marriage - he stays because he feels that he took his wife from their family so he owes it to her. He is quite the ladies man.

Personally I feel that most people who stay in marriages, jobs, relationships are fearing change...being alone, the unknown.

...and that is my dollar's worth 😉

Its really sad but I dont know anyone who is happily married. I work with a newlywed and I'm just waiting for the ball to drop.

I know Prring .....should not have put zodiac signs on them. I thought it was relevent to apply since the scenarios are all different. To be honest people cheat regardless of their zodiac.....more than we all like to believe I guess. I just feel when people try to bring in third, fourth and fifth parties they really fail to see where the real issues are. This explains why it is soooooo hard to find that right one. As my friend once told me, I am finally learning not to be the right person for someone, it is more is he the right one for me. So many get involved in so called love for the sake of not being alone and mold their lives for that person. Common mistake made over and over. Lets not forget just the plain and simple fact that people grow and change however why is it so hard to be honest with the one you supposedly pledged your love to. Well I can go on and on .....bottom line people get hurt in the process. The risk one takes in love.

BTW ---- all valid points and interesting comments ladies. Bottom line hence the reason so many divorces. The interesting thing are most men always think the grass is greener. Perhaps it could be.

Interesting point of view J. Thanks for your candid honest opinion on this topic. It just sucks because it is a painful process for all involved. 😢

PD

VGM: Bottom line answer with all these questions is complete selfishness and being a coward.

Dayum! That's harsh!!

I stayed with LibraEX longer than others might have: 1. To provide stability for my Scorpio daughter; and, 2. On the off-chance that things got better. I don't regret any of it, and my daughter has thanked me many many times for hanging in there.

I think it actually takes more balls to stay than to bail out -- it's so easy to get a divorce now. I would agree that if staying together is harming the children more than breaking up, then do whatever is best for the Innocent Parties to the disaster...

VGM: So you cheated on your wife dy?

Nope, never did. My response was in answer to PD's Question #1 - Why do you find it necessary to be miserable and still stay married? Her Questions #2-4 don't apply to me.

Ask Debra if she would want you to stay in your marriage just for the kids but no longer in it for the marriage.

Oh, Hell No! The Weasel cheated on her, and played all kinda mind games with her, too (he was about 8 years older than her). NO WAY I'm gonna open up that can of worms!

P😱 I am very black and white, you either are in a relationship or your not.

Same here. But when Her + Him also includes Them (the children), the equation is more complicated, and a simple division (IMHO) is no longer possible. If one or both adults wants to cheat, then the balance sheet is shifted toward divorce for sure...

VGM: No cheating, just if you both knew it was dead, would she want to have you sticking around just for the kids.

You know the answer to that. For everyone else: No, of course not!

She remarried The Weasel, but she still had feelings for him; and, he still had feelings for her -- he just couldn't keep his dick in his drawers...

But... this is a difference between Scorpios & Virgos. We would regard staying as a Duty to our children - a sacrificial act of service to the ones we feel most responsible for. A rational approach to an emotional situation. Scorps don't see it that way, but they're more in tune with the potential emotional harm that might affect the children by parents staying in a loveless marriage...

I don't believe it's wise to cheat in a marriage, and while I agree with Virgo that whomever is straying should give the courtesy to the other person and have "balls" and tell them and let them be. But I've seen many men try to do just that and their women won't let them go, even when they are trying to hurt them the least. Sometimes even before cheating

VGM,

I hold a Master's degreee in child psychology - not sure if that meets your requirements for professional opinions on this subject, but there it is...

Teaching a child to be co-dependent is VERY harmful. I don't think most parents consciously try to teach dependency. Some may inadvertently model it. I didn't.

You've taught her she doesn't deserve better and she won't make it on her own - independently. That's quite a stretch, considering all you know about me and my children are the things I post on an anonymous web forum.

The facts are quite the opposite. Professionally, my daughter is preparing to enter a very tough PhD program at a very tough university. Personally, her relationships with young men have been surprisingly mature, and healthy, and she's usually the one to end it when she sees it going nowhere. She's fully independent - remarkly so for an only child! - and yet looks forward to having a husband and children when all this bloody schoolwork is finally done!

VGM: Gosh, I hope it isn't just scorps that think/feel this way.

I don't know how other Signs would respond; but, I am certain my Debra would agree more with you than with me on this issue (that's why I said it must be a Scorpio thing!). We've discussed my decision to stay with LibraEX after I knew in my heart that the marriage was over, and she's amazed that I could be so "detached" [her word] about such an emotional situation...

In fact, my ability to compartmentalize my feelings has frustrated her some - similar to my ability to be loyal to her while still being able to see many other sides to a particular argument (not just Hers!)...

Her opinion, like yours, would be very definite, and expressed very strongly. And that's one of the many things I love about her...

But from another point of view: I personally know several men who stayed in their marriages even though their wives cheated. One in particular did so because his lawyer advised him that in their state, a judge would most likely give custody of the children to the mother, even though she'd been unfaithful.

And were all those many women over the centuries who stayed with their cheating (and often abusive!) husbands because they would starve otherwise cowards?? From a Virgo POV, they were merely being practical...

And married men who cheat, and hide it, and stay in the marriage even though the feelings are dead, may not be cowards, but they sure are heartless SOBs - in my opinion...

VGM: I'm gonna do something Debra probably does when it's a lost cause...

You Two are so alike it's scary...

If it's any consolation: She gets to poke me in the side, and shake her head at me...