Maybe I'm Overreacting?

Okay.... so.... I've been dating this Sag guy now for a little over two months. Some of you know the deal here and know some of the issues that I've had/been having with him. So to summarize, I spoke with him about needing some space from him (not breaking up or anything, just some physical distance) and I also found out that my best friend told him last weekend that if he doesn't back off from me some and give me my space that he was gonna lose me. He doesnt know that I am aware of this conversation, however last week I told him that I was going to have a busy week getting ready for the Holidays and since he would be spending Christmas Eve at my house, maybe he should plan on spending more time at home so I could get some things done. So, last week we did not see each other Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. This is the longest we have gone without seeing one another.

Now, on to the topic.... We were on the phone Tuesday evening and I mentioned how I wish I would've bought a book for myself when we were in the book store Christmas shopping because since he had been going home more, I would've had time to read which is a past time of mine that has fallen to the wayside since he has been staying over so much. So, during my ride home from work on Wednesday evening, he tells me that I MAY have a surprise waiting for me at my house when I arrive. I'm puzzled and ask him what he has done? He says "it's nothing big, but I hope you see it." So, I ask where I should look and he tells me on my bed. WTF!!—? So, when I get home, I find on my bed, the book I was looking at along with a bag of my favorite candy and a note from him telling me to enjoy them. I know this is a really sweet gesture and that I should be happy about it... and I am.... however, I can't help but think about the fact that he came into my house without asking me or telling me that he was going by there!!!!! I feel completely violated. I don't know how to tell him. I don't want to hurt his feelings, I know he was being sweet and doing something great for me, but I feel like he invaded my space. He has been at my house without me a few times, but NEVER without me knowing about it. I wouldn't have cared had he asked me if he could stop by and pick up something of his, but he DIDN'T! My sister says to let it go, he obviously didnt think it was a big deal since he is there so much, but to me.... it MATTERS!!!

What do I do? Any suggestions?

i would feel violated and creeped out by this too.....he was being thoughtful and wanted to surprise you and since he obviously has a key to your place, he thought nothing of it.

maybe get your locks changed though.

wtffffffff

I hate to be a fence straddler, because I usually really feel strongly about things one way or another, but in this instance @ first blush I was like: "WTF!" But, on the other hand, if he has keys (which I'm assuming he does, unless he shimmied through your window), it's kind of giving him permission to enter. I'm not saying 100% across the board, but I can guaranfriggintee that if I didn't want somebody in my house when I wasn't there...I wouldn't give them a key. But, that's just me. I know people will say, "Well, he should have told you, etc" and I agree; however, when you give a person a key, they could pretty much be rummaging through your shit at anytime without your knowledge... I'm just saying.

Yea, this brings up an interesting point. Does he have keys to your joint or did he break in?

No, he does not have a key. He does however know where my spare is kept because he has used it before.... WITH MY PERMISSION. That is the difference here!

Posted by ?_uvis
well it made my eyes go big when i was reading it...

i assume it would have been safe on your front door...

to me yes this would be a big deal...

OMG!!! Exactly what I was thinking!

Okay, to answer multiple posts above, he is at my house a lot... more than I would like for him to be... part of the problem actually. Too much in my space all the time. I am sure he thought it was not a problem since I have allowed him there without me a time or two, but always I was on my way within a few minutes and I told him to go ahead and let himself in. So, he is very comfortable there, but I still feel VIOLATED! I also have roommates, so when I found out he had gone inside, I immediately asked him... "Oh, was anyone home?" to which he replied "Nope, not a soul!" I guess he didnt get the under-tone in my voice of irritation!!! IDK.... or maybe he did!

Posted by Jason2213
*pushes mental shock aside*

Bright Side: He meant well.

*bites thumb*

I know Jason. Thats why it's such a tough predicament for me. I don't want to upset him, but it was a bit over the edge for me.

i'd wait a couple days and see if he seems to get it...that you need space and that he made you uncomfortable. if not.....well it's all up to you really.

I don't know the man so take my words with a grain of salt...

If you had given me a key, then I would think it was okay...

But in this case, no key was given. Could he have been worried that if he left the gift on your front door, that it would have disappeared?

Posted by VirgoHero
I don't know the man so take my words with a grain of salt...

If you had given me a key, then I would think it was okay...

But in this case, no key was given. Could he have been worried that if he left the gift on your front door, that it would have disappeared?

Ummmm...... yeah, If I'd have given him a key, I wouldnt be upset either!

IDK... He's an absolute sweetheart, so I know he meant no harm, but COME ON!!!!!

Posted by trifles light as air*
i'd wait a couple days and see if he seems to get it...that you need space and that he made you uncomfortable. if not.....well it's all up to you really.

I have a feeling I'm gonna have to tell him.

Maybe I will just move my key to a new spot then he won't know where its at!

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
I am sure he thought it was not a problem since I have allowed him there without me a time or two, but always I was on my way within a few minutes and I told him to go ahead and let himself in. So, he is very comfortable there, but I still feel VIOLATED!

Ok, this changes the complexity completely for me. I would say "Nada, Zilch, Null, Void!" Do NOT violate someones home because you "know" where the keys are—? I have multiple friends that I know where their spares are, but I don't go traipsing through their homes without being invited. ONCE, I let myself into my friends house when she wasn't there (I have keys to her house), but I left her a note and explained that when I was there last, I left something important and it was close to my work place, so I went in, but I rang the doorbell first and DID leave her a note explaining, and of course called her too. While his heart was in the right place, it was a violation. Hell, I don't even go by a guys house that I'm dating without calling first; so, I definitely wouldn't be letting myself into their home if I "knew" where there spare key was...no matter how long we had been dating. It's a privacy issue...and I am very private, so yeah, I would have been pissed too LeoLady!

IM EXACTLY the same way USCTG. I would've NEVER go into his house without calling first, even though I know where his key is as well. I guess not everyone thinks that way though. It just seems a little rude to me as well. Especially since he knows that I have roommates and I am always consciencious of their space and their comfort. One of my roommates is my sister so she's a bit different, but I still ALWAYS tell her when I might be having someone go by there or come by even if she is not gonna be there. It's just the respectful thing to do. I WOULD NEVER enter someone's house... EVEN my PARENTS house without their knowledge!

"there" = "their"

I think you need to talk to him instead of just moving the spare key. I think that your lack of space is making you possibly be hypersensitive (not to say you shouldn't be sensitive!) You are going to have to have a conversation with him; I think your fear of making him feel unwanted/upset because he did something nice is also making it more aggravating for you, and I don't want you to snap on the poor guy.
A simple, "Hey babe. Thanks so much for your thoughtful gesture, I really appreciated you thinking of me, but next time, can you give me some sort of heads up first because I do live with others, and I don't think it's right for someone to just be "walking" into the house; especially if I don't know about it." Or something along those lines....

Yea, honestly, L... I'd say approach the conversation with dealing with the gift and the key thing as TWO DIFFERENT issues. `

1. The gift, awesome and thoughtful, and make sure he feels it
2. The key thing, I think you can approach in a subtle way that lays the boundary without you being a "f'ing b" about it. Ya know?

Ooo I actually have an astrology commentary. Sag's, is this a standard sag thing? Just kind of going off the moment without any thought to it (I ask out of ignorance, not criticism)

Posted by BellaBulleautiful

Posted by USCTaurusGal
"there" = "their"

I think you need to talk to him instead of just moving the spare key. I think that your lack of space is making you possibly be hypersensitive (not to say you shouldn't be sensitive!) You are going to have to have a conversation with him; I think your fear of making him feel unwanted/upset because he did something nice is also making it more aggravating for you, and I don't want you to snap on the poor guy.
A simple, "Hey babe. Thanks so much for your thoughtful gesture, I really appreciated you thinking of me, but next time, can you give me some sort of heads up first because I do live with others, and I don't think it's right for someone to just be "walking" into the house; especially if I don't know about it." Or something along those lines....

good advice.

click to expand

^Yep!

This sounds like something a stalker would do. He used your spare key. Yeah that would bother me too, considering that u told him u wanted space.

Thanks guys! You all have some really great advice. Thanks for giving me your input. I really appreciate it.

MsScorpion made a really good point that got me thinking more. I think Im a bit more aggravated by it because I have been telling him I wanted space and he went let himself right up into my private space. I think I am irritated because I don't think he is getting it. I feel like I tell him I need space from him and even though he will go home for a few days, he still is up in my "emotional" space, so to speak. Coming to my house when Im not there, texting me all day telling me he misses me... had a dream about me, yada yada yada! ENOUGH already... I NEED SOME SPACE!!! LOL!!

Anyway, I am def gonna talk to him about it and I will do it in a very sensitive manner. He really is an awesome guy, would do anything for me, I just think I'm feeling emotionally trapped and I get antsy. I'm kinda thinking that with tax season approaching and with starting my new competition training schedule on the 4th that all this "time" together is gonna work itself out since I will be extremely busy with work and training, therefore cutting back on my available social time. We shall see.

Posted by fourthwallbreaker
Tell him it freaked you out, but say it in a nicer way than that, an it made you think about security (leaving a spare key etc) and that's why you've decided to take it away, smoochy schmookums, problem solved ! 🙂
Seriously though it is a bit weird, even if the gestures were nice.

Thanks Bling! I agree. I will approach it with kid gloves. I know it was a nice gesture but I felt it was a bit weird too, even though I know he didnt mean it to be at all.

Well, I don't think you are over-reacting. I'd be miffed/frustrated too (but feeling bad about my reaction because of the nice gesture). I would definately move my key, make clear the "rules" of using the key (before you ever need/want to disclose its location), and let it be known that while I appreciate the gesture I didn't like the fact that my space was invaded.

Question - Why are you needing space now? Have you always needed space? Did you make it known in the courtship phase?

@ LR36! - First.... HEY GIRL!!!!! *jumps up and down and waves*

Okay.... regarding your question.... yes, I have always needed my space. I did make it clear from the get go that I was not a needy person and that my friends were very important to me and I will always need my time and space to do "my thing". I made it clear to him that I am a very independent person and did not want to feel trapped or caged. He knows that I was with my ex for 16 years and my life has undergone a significant change over the past year and I have finally grown accustomed to my situation and enjoy my freedom. Freedom is the most important thing to me right now. I do believe that you can be in a relationship and still maintain a since of freedom and that is what I desire at this point in my life.

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@ LR36! - First.... HEY GIRL!!!!! *jumps up and down and waves*

Okay.... regarding your question.... yes, I have always needed my space. I did make it clear from the get go that I was not a needy person and that my friends were very important to me and I will always need my time and space to do "my thing". I made it clear to him that I am a very independent person and did not want to feel trapped or caged. He knows that I was with my ex for 16 years and my life has undergone a significant change over the past year and I have finally grown accustomed to my situation and enjoy my freedom. Freedom is the most important thing to me right now. I do believe that you can be in a relationship and still maintain a since of freedom and that is what I desire at this point in my life.

Hey Honey (Muuuuuah! 🙂)

LL, thanks so much for answering my questions (I have some issues going on right now with my Leo and your answers provided some clarity on - Personal Space, Friends/Family, & Compatibility.)

I am so proud of you for making your needs be known from jump! Specifically, in the courtship/honeymoon phase where couples typically live/breathe each other! It is so hard to readjust (especially when it comes to getting less of something (time, fun, sex, attention, etc.) that bonded you to that person to begin with). I don't know your entire story w/ Saggi but if you spent enormous amounts of time with your guy in the beginning and are now attempting to 'make space' between the two of you - he may be (consciously or unconsciously) trying to level things off...like get his footing of familiarity in the relationship - it's a normal reaction. He may intellectually know that you and he need personal space but also may be grappling with 'losing the access he had to you/ time with you'. At least he knew about your boundaries beforehand but it is so easy to get caught up in the warmth of a Leo and the feel-good vibes/security you get. It's crazy-making for you but try to go easy on him while he is trying to adjust.

I'm glad my answers were helpful to you. Thank you for your advice as well. You are so right about the readjusting and etc. I can see where he may be getting a bit concerned with the possibility of losing access to me. He is a bit of a loner and isn't used to having the amount of social interaction that I am accustomed to in my life. My home is very warm and fun with a lot of constant activity. One of my best friends lives next door to me and we are constantly in and out and back and forth. Her 9 year old son practically stays at my house as much as he is at home. Not to mention I have two roommates and one of them has an adult daughter that is here for a month, so between the bodies at my house, it's never a dull moment. We are constantly cooking, chatting, playing Wii or just watching TV together. My house is a constant source of entertainment. Last night, my sister (she's 23) had some friends in town for the holiday and they stopped by. My best friend and I came in from dinner and the two young friends were on their way out to a bar but instead ended up staying at our house because they said it was far more entertaining there than going to some random bar. We were laughing and cutting up until about midnight. I think we all about pee'd ourselves from laughter several times!

So, back to topic.... I always get sidetracked... lol.... anyway, like I said, he is a bit of a loner. He lives out in a secluded area and doesn't have a large base of friends, so I know my house is very entertaining for him. His daughter even prefers to stay at my house when she visits instead of his because it's boring there for her. But, that kinda bothers me a bit too. I feel like I am his sole source of entertainment and that he doesn't have anything much going on in his own circle. I don't like the pressure that it puts on me to entertain him. I know he had a life before me but it was a damn boring one and I am ALWAYS the HOSTESS so I feel obligated (even though it may be unwarranted, I still feel it, its part of my personality) to make sure he is entertained and happy. It may sound stupid, but I feel responsible for his happiness.

Damn... I get so off topic! I'll stop here.

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
I feel like I am his sole source of entertainment and that he doesn't have anything much going on in his own circle. I don't like the pressure that it puts on me to entertain him. I know he had a life before me but it was a damn boring one and I am ALWAYS the HOSTESS so I feel obligated (even though it may be unwarranted, I still feel it, its part of my personality) to make sure he is entertained and happy. It may sound stupid, but I feel responsible for his happiness.

AND THIS - LEOLADY is why you and I are SOO much like guys! LMAO! That above statement is usually what the MAN is saying in respect to relationships. There is an expression "too much of a good thing." I think early on in relationships people want to live/eat/breathe one another, and then about 6 months or so into the relationship reality smacks the ish out of them and they are like WHOA! I like space and for that person to go, because I like to miss someone, and I like for them to miss me too. There ain't nothin' like some lovin when you haven't seen your man in a couple of weeks 😉 'Nuff said!

You are a Leo, so I know you pretty much told him at the jumpstart of what were deal breakers. The Leo I messed around with never lied about anything, and always meant what he said, and said what he meant. To some people it could be off putting; especially for women, because they are used to doing things they may not want to do. He told me from the beginning, "I don't do anything I don't want to do." I looked at him and said, "Touche'". I am the same way, and I don't need a babysitter. I want to WANT to be with the person when I'm with them, not wandering when the hell they are going to leave so I can take a bath/read/etc! LOL!

Posted by USCTaurusGal


AND THIS - LEOLADY is why you and I are SOO much like guys! LMAO! That above statement is usually what the MAN is saying in respect to relationships. There is an expression "too much of a good thing." I think early on in relationships people want to live/eat/breathe one another, and then about 6 months or so into the relationship reality smacks the ish out of them and they are like WHOA! I like space and for that person to go, because I like to miss someone, and I like for them to miss me too. There ain't nothin' like some lovin when you haven't seen your man in a couple of weeks 😉 'Nuff said!

You are a Leo, so I know you pretty much told him at the jumpstart of what were deal breakers. The Leo I messed around with never lied about anything, and always meant what he said, and said what he meant. To some people it could be off putting; especially for women, because they are used to doing things they may not want to do. He told me from the beginning, "I don't do anything I don't want to do." I looked at him and said, "Touche'". I am the same way, and I don't need a babysitter. I want to WANT to be with the person when I'm with them, not wandering when the hell they are going to leave so I can take a bath/read/etc! LOL!

USCTG.... I think.......

that you might just....

COMPLETE ME!!!


— — —

^^^ROFLMAO!!! You are too much (but in a good way 😉 )

Seriously though, there are a lot of people (I won't just say women) who just flove to eat/sleep/breathe their significant other. I worked with this chick who wouldn't go out w/the girls once a month because (her words), "Why would I intentionally go somewhere that my husband is being strategically excluded from?" We were like b#tch please! It's a friggin' GIRLS NIGHT OUT! I think it's self-explanatory that there are NO MEN going with us—? Oh, and my personal favorite. One of my girlfriends (who changes men like underwear) would always schlep her new "flavor" of the day/week/month around with her like he was a new handbag. If some of us would meet for drinks she would ALWAYS toss in there sometime early in the evening, "By the way, Steve/Jack/Henry/Clark/Jimmy/Robert is going to join us in a few minutes for a drink. I know you girls don't mind; especially since I think this one is a keeper." NONE OF THEM WERE KEEPERS! Errrrrrrrgggg.
I think I need to leave this thread, because some of the things people do just never cease to amaze me, and me even typing about it, is getting on my nerves!
*stomps away from thread - back to cave*

Posted by eden 3
ya ll creepy for sure I actually think he was donig a bit of spying on u since u asked for space he wanted to know why...

I'd bet on it ppsshhh it's always the sweet ones...damaged haha jk

funny thing I got another chickie friend going through a sag guy doing sneaky pervy shit too...

any panties missing or licked?

oh & bells & fwb whew thx for clearing all that up. I was ready to book a vaca to trannyland ;P

LMAO Eden! You may have a point on the spying thing. I dont think any panties were missing though, but who the hell knows! I aint got time to look through my underwear drawers to figure that out either, so if he did.... well.... he can have em!! LOL!!

Funny thing is, he never questions anything I do, but lately I have noticed him looking over my shoulder some, so to speak. Saturday, I was re-organizing my closet and my cell phone was laying on the counter in the bathroom and I could see him through the crack in the door from my closet and I noticed he kept staring at my phone. My gf had just texted me and it was lit up so you could see the text exchange from her and he stood there and read it all. He doesnt know I saw him, but I did. Not that it I cared, but still... this is the first time I've noticed him doing such. Sag guys are a bit perverted too, but I don't mind... I kinda like it! (but not sneaking in my panty drawers or weird shit like that) LOL!

WTF is all the tranny talk about! Damn! I missed some more good shit—?!!!

Posted by XFoosMe
I didn't have time to read through all the posts, but I'm thinking that in his own way he may have felt like he was giving you space by dropping it off. He was doing something sweet and thoughtful, but (he may think) staying out of your hair at the same time. Know what I mean?

I wouldn't get too upset about this, although no one understands needing space more than I do. The thing is though people have completely different perceptions. For instance, I NEVER just drop by peoples homes without the knowing because I don't like it done to me. A lot of people can't understand that at all. More along the lines of this case though, I've been with people who have NO CLUE what needing space is like so I think it was hard for them to put themselves in my shoes to truly understand.

Thats not at all to say your feelings are not valid. They totally are.

You could have a point. I know... Im trying not to let it be a deal breaker. But, I am gonna let him know how I feel about coming into my house without telling me for future reference.

Posted by USCTaurusGal
Seriously though, there are a lot of people (I won't just say women) who just flove to eat/sleep/breathe their significant other. I worked with this chick who wouldn't go out w/the girls once a month because (her words), "Why would I intentionally go somewhere that my husband is being strategically excluded from?" We were like b#tch please! It's a friggin' GIRLS NIGHT OUT! I think it's self-explanatory that there are NO MEN going with us—? Oh, and my personal favorite. One of my girlfriends (who changes men like underwear) would always schlep her new "flavor" of the day/week/month around with her like he was a new handbag. If some of us would meet for drinks she would ALWAYS toss in there sometime early in the evening, "By the way, Steve/Jack/Henry/Clark/Jimmy/Robert is going to join us in a few minutes for a drink. I know you girls don't mind; especially since I think this one is a keeper." NONE OF THEM WERE KEEPERS! Errrrrrrrgggg.
I think I need to leave this thread, because some of the things people do just never cease to amaze me, and me even typing about it, is getting on my nerves!
*stomps away from thread - back to cave*

lmao! love it.

Posted by ?_uvis



hmmm..... im sure you can figure out what im thinking... so no need to go into this one...

Yes, of course Ian.

Posted by DyTryin

LeoLady,

I understand how you feel; but, this is kinda typical for a SagGuy, because he wouldn't be upset if you let yourself into his house, so he figures you're cool with him using the spare key to pull off a surprise for you...

It would bother me, and it would be grounds for my Scorpio to start gouging out eyeballs!

Shit! I didn't have a key to her house until after she'd moved in to mine...

Thanks Dy. Sounds about right, I'm sure. But, why do people ASSUME that because they don't mind, it doesn't matter?

Like I said, I wouldn't have minded him going in IF he would've just called me ahead to ask if he could let himself in to pick up some of his things. Everything would've been just peachy!

Oh well. What's done is done. I won't gouge out his eyeballs THIS TIME! 🙂

He thought you needed this gift, since you gave him the suggestion of such by mentioning to him that you wanted it.

Why mention this to him?

Were you hoping that this maneuver would prompt him to do something for you?

It worked, he bought you the book .. congratulations, you have been promoted to accomplished manipulator.



Now, to the other thing ....

Did he cause any real harm?
Did he do it FOR you to have emotional well-being?
Have you even stopped your self-absorbed bitching for one second to analyze his intention?

I don't think you have made this mole-hill into a high enough dramatic mountain yet ... perhaps you should look for more "other" reasons for you to be uncomfortable ..... because heaven forbid that you look at this for his REAL intention ...


... which was to make you happy.



Another fucking douchebag.

Posted by P-Angel
He thought you needed this gift, since you gave him the suggestion of such by mentioning to him that you wanted it.

Why mention this to him?

Were you hoping that this maneuver would prompt him to do something for you?

It worked, he bought you the book .. congratulations, you have been promoted to accomplished manipulator.

Why thank you.... can you please send me my trophy so I can display it proudly on my mantle? Because of course that was my goal, to manipulate someone into buying me something. FFS! *shakes head*

(that was sarcasm btw... just to clarify)

Now, to the other thing ....

Did he cause any real harm?
Did he do it FOR you to have emotional well-being?
Have you even stopped your self-absorbed bitching for one second to analyze his intention?

No, he did not cause me any real harm...

Yes, I'm sure he did it FOR my emotional well-being...

And Yes, of course I analyzed his intention.

All duly noted and stated, but that wasn't the point, was it? Oh, my bad... you were too focused on being a bitch to actually read the original post and notice this portion:

"I know this is a really sweet gesture and that I should be happy about it... and I am.... however, I can't help but think about the fact that he came into my house without asking me or telling me that he was going by there!!!!! I feel completely violated. I don't know how to tell him. I don't want to hurt his feelings, I know he was being sweet and doing something great for me, but I feel like he invaded my space."

Sorry you see it as self absorbed bitching, I was only expressing how his actions (of entering my home without permission) affected me. Understand?

I don't think you have made this mole-hill into a high enough dramatic mountain yet ... perhaps you should look for more "other" reasons for you to be uncomfortable ..... because heaven forbid that you look at this for his REAL intention ...


... which was to make you happy.



Another fucking douchebag.

click to expand

And you are right, it's not a dramatic mountain, yet... I haven't mentioned it to him... but rest assured I will make it into Mount Saint Helen if I wish. And, if I don't set my boundaries now, it will only happen again and surely erupt... so....

*finger*

to the Troll - - for calling me a Douchebag.

🙂

Oh and fwiw.... Had you not ended your post by calling me a foul name, I wouldn't have given much thought toward your rude and direct approach because it doesn't offend me. That is your manner and I know it well, have seen it many times here. I actually agree with you at times, however calling me names was a bit over the top and just plain uncalled for.

(((((Eden)))))

I — you!

"because it doesn't offend me"


But, of course .. this is why you responded defensively.





"No, he did not cause me any real harm...

Yes, I'm sure he did it FOR my emotional well-being...

And Yes, of course I analyzed his intention.

All duly noted and stated, but that wasn't the point, was it?"


No, it wasn't your point of this thread ... you looking at the positive in the situation wasn't your intention at all, I got that. Your intention was to not only look at the negative, to also embrace it to the point that you would carry on with others so that they may help in shrouding you with the negative.

Oh yes, that was your point .... I got that loud and clear.


Heaven forbid you embrace his intention of tyring to make you feel good about yourself since you mentioned to him your disappointment in not getting the book ...... yeah, I got that, fucking douchebag.

Posted by eden 3
aaawww p, come on ll is not a douche bag...there r lots of those here but def not ll.

she has only been with him a couple months. that is too early to just grab a spare key & let urself in. I still say the gesture has a tweak of stalker in it. he could very well have left the gift at the door or with the roomate. he went in without permission, who knows how long he has been doing this...or what else he has done to invade her privacy. this was shady & I'll stand by that...

my first (in many ways) serious boyfriend started climbing in my window & hiding in my closet. his actions grew stranger & more violent over time. it became apparent he was obsessed. he would follow me everywhere without my knowledge & threaten my friends whom he said were coming between us.

he was the only guy who eva hit me (once) it's actually a funny story that led up to it....

whilst in my closet he saw a band poster autographed to me with personal messages. so he loses it & says "so u fucked em all?" I was all "no u know u were my first, I sucked em all off" which wasn't true but, got me a nice bruise on my face. I moved far away with my aunt the next morning.

now I'm not saying ll's man is anything lk this just that u must look deeper into intentions sometimes. what may seem sweet & romantic could actually be sinister.

Well, thank you eden, for manipulating the mind into thinking the worse-case scenerio ... I'm sure her boyfriend will love for it when it creates the suggestion in her mind to be even more paranoid, and she inflates this drama even higher.

Of course, it's you .. and we all know how much you love drama, Eden.

Let's not give any benefit of doubt to him just trying to be nice, and not realizing her paranoia ......... afterall, she showed him where the key is hidden outside, and any normal human being would conclude that the reason why they were shown is in case they need to go inside.

Let's not give him any credit .. instead, tell her about how stalkers find their way into closets.



Fucking chucklefucks, you all are.

Ask yourself this question .... if your boy/girl friend fucking showed you how to enter the house, by means of a key ... wouldn't you take that as a sign that this is FOR you to get inside?



Sometimes I think this world is nothing but a bunch stupid fucks.

She creates the situation HERSELF ... and then

..... bitches about the outcome.




:::::: shakes head ::::::










And thanks to Eden, you now have more to worry about what he might be doing wrong ... instead of embracing what he might be doing right.

Oh yes, it is noted that he might be doing something good .. but, that is just in theory .. so don't put any positive energy into that .. oh no.

Instead .. you should just look at what is "wrong" with the situation.

In fact .. maybe you could put a friend up to telling him about your comfort zone, since you condoned her in telling him about your space.



Oh wait ........ did your friend tell him about your space and not you?

So, YOU ... YOU ..... YOU ... aren't even communicating your mind to him?


Hum .. yes, well perhaps in the future with your next boyfriend, you should date a psychic, since you don't tell men yourself about when you need space in the relationship .... perhaps a pyschic would realize that showing him the key to your place means the opposite.

" ... my best friend told him last weekend that if he doesn't back off from me some and give me my space that he was gonna lose me."




Oh, my bad, I read that wrong .. it doesn't say that she told him about your wants for more space.



It tells him to back the fuck off .... as in a threatening tone, to suggest that a regretful to him outcome would commence if he didn't obey this.

Posted by P-Angel
"because it doesn't offend me"


But, of course .. this is why you responded defensively.

Yes, I certainly did... but, note that your advice nor your questions offended me, your name calling did. And my defensivenes resulted in me giving you the finger. Simple. Got it now?

No, it wasn't your point of this thread ... you looking at the positive in the situation wasn't your intention at all, I got that. Your intention was to not only look at the negative, to also embrace it to the point that you would carry on with others so that they may help in shrouding you with the negative.

Oh yes, that was your point .... I got that loud and clear.

Yay! And you still found it necessary to respond with negativity as well. Hmmm.....

Heaven forbid you embrace his intention of tyring to make you feel good about yourself since you mentioned to him your disappointment in not getting the book ...... yeah, I got that, fucking douchebag.

click to expand

No, heaven forbid that I would NEED someone to make me feel good about myself. Where did that come from? I don't recall ever mentioning that I was feeling bad about myself because I didn't have that book! Obviously you and your husband do not conversate about whatever may cross your mind. Because, that it what happened here.... there was no underlying intention on my part to suggest or manipulate anyone into buying me a gift. It just came up on casual conversation with my boyfriend when we were on the phone together. That is all.

Posted by P-Angel
" ... my best friend told him last weekend that if he doesn't back off from me some and give me my space that he was gonna lose me."




Oh, my bad, I read that wrong .. it doesn't say that she told him about your wants for more space.



It tells him to back the fuck off .... as in a threatening tone, to suggest that a regretful to him outcome would commence if he didn't obey this.

Great job, your condoning of your friend doing this makes you an official bitch .. congratulations.

Posted by P-Angel
" ... my best friend told him last weekend that if he doesn't back off from me some and give me my space that he was gonna lose me."




Oh, my bad, I read that wrong .. it doesn't say that she told him about your wants for more space.



It tells him to back the fuck off .... as in a threatening tone, to suggest that a regretful to him outcome would commence if he didn't obey this.

Well, there you go.... spewing before you actually read everything.

There was no FUCK in her comment... therefore not a threatening tone at all. She adores him and was offering him some good advice as to how to relate to me because he is an awesome person and wants to see us do well. That is all.

Ask yourself this question .... if your boy/girl friend fucking showed you how to enter the house, by means of a key ... wouldn't you take that as a sign that this is FOR you to get inside?

Asking myself this question......


NO. Certainly not whenever I wish without asking or advising that I would be doing it. I know where his key is, as well as where my neighbor's key is, but I do not enter their homes without their permission or knowledge beforehand. Those keys are there for specific situations... like when Im asked to do something on their behalf in their absence.

Oh and P.... I plan on telling him about my comfort zone. I would NEVER put anyone up to telling anyone what I am responsible for doing. I didnt put my friend up to it, she did it on her own accord. He welcomed the converstation and asked her for advice. I had already told him of my need for space, so I suspect he was wanting some advice from someone who is very close to me. That is all. YOU are now making this into something that it is not. I was only asking opinions as to whether I am overracting a bit. Your opinion was welcome, your name calling wasn't.

Posted by P-Angel


Great job, your condoning of your friend doing this makes you an official bitch .. congratulations.

I dont control other people's actions. I didnt condone it. He doesnt even know that I know about it.

Geez.... talk about an official bitch. Lighten up a little!

Ha Ha Eden. Yes, actually it is the first time for me.

I've seen it many times though. I enjoy her posts most times and other times I just roll my eyes and skim past them. She gets a bit overly snarky quite often and I always leave whomever is on the receiving end of her tyrannical rant to their own defenses. I was ONLY offended by her calling me a Douchebag. I don't call people names on here unless they attack me first (or if it's in good humour and they know it), so... whatever.

Its all good. I guess now I'm official on DXP for sure!!! 🙂