MEN!!!

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sweethearts
@sweethearts
19 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 163 · Posts: 6615 · Topics: 326
So how do you correctly read a man? I've heard a few times here that they are black and white so everything is on face value...is that right? They only say what they mean...but then if they throw it all out there to begin with(whats that about?) and then withdraw...how is that to be read? Change of mind or heart?

I've found guys will lay everything on the line to grab your interest and as soon as you start to show some interest they close down...wtf??

Seriously no wonder we woman over-anaylize your every move/action!

Signed totally frustrated and preparing to be frustrated alone!!!

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sweethearts
@sweethearts
19 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 163 · Posts: 6615 · Topics: 326
@lR36, I'm getting too old to go through all the stress and worry about trying to anaylize his every move and really feel that he needs to put himself out there for me but the damage is when they tell you everything in the beginning and get you hooked... I now deal with that silently and through here.

I love dxp 🙂

I'm also happy to be on my own til some fucker fucks with me and makes me think otherwise!!!
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LibrasRule36!
@LibrasRule36!
16 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 720 · Topics: 39
Posted by sweethearts
Hard to know what bullshit is James when they sugar coat it....and they do!!!!!!! My friend tells me beautiful things all the time and then flirts with everyone else online....wtf....what am I to believe to me it's disrespectful and he must know that I can see it so is it a game or what—?? Cos really I wont play!



READ what you wrote and chew on it...

PAY ATTENTION to WHAT he does as well as what he SAYS - Does it MATCH? OR is it CONFLICTING?

If a man told you that he loved you and then proceeded to beat the snot out of you - Would you call that LOVE? Would his words supercede his actions? I think not.

Get back in the driver's seat, sit up and observe (and observe some more), & guard your heart.

Just want to say in general - The worst kind of lie that is told is the ones we tell ourselves.
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USCTaurusGal
@USCTaurusGal
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 4648 · Topics: 31
Posted by LibrasRule36!
Posted by sweethearts
Hard to know what bullshit is James when they sugar coat it....and they do!!!!!!! My friend tells me beautiful things all the time and then flirts with everyone else online....wtf....what am I to believe to me it's disrespectful and he must know that I can see it so is it a game or what—?? Cos really I wont play!



READ what you wrote and chew on it...

PAY ATTENTION to WHAT he does as well as what he SAYS - Does it MATCH? OR is it CONFLICTING?

If a man told you that he loved you and then proceeded to beat the snot out of you - Would you call that LOVE? Would his words supercede his actions? I think not.

Get back in the driver's seat, sit up and observe (and observe some more), & guard your heart.

Just want to say in general - The worst kind of lie that is told is the ones we tell ourselves.
click to expand



WORD! I couldn't have saidit better myself. Also, I think sometimes (people in general) SEE/HEAR what they want to SEE/HEAR. It's funny how a person will say, "Such and so wasn't like this at the beginning...now, he/she has CHANGED!" Have they changed, or has your perception of them changed— Just a question, because I know that oftentimes, the person has been consistently doing/saying certain things since the beginning, but when that lovely, lust veneer is stripped away --- then you really start opening your eyes to the "real" person. They haven't changed, your perception of them has, because you aren't in that "New relationship" haze anymore.
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
Posted by USCTaurusGal
Posted by LibrasRule36!
Posted by sweethearts
Hard to know what bullshit is James when they sugar coat it....and they do!!!!!!! My friend tells me beautiful things all the time and then flirts with everyone else online....wtf....what am I to believe to me it's disrespectful and he must know that I can see it so is it a game or what—?? Cos really I wont play!



READ what you wrote and chew on it...

PAY ATTENTION to WHAT he does as well as what he SAYS - Does it MATCH? OR is it CONFLICTING?

If a man told you that he loved you and then proceeded to beat the snot out of you - Would you call that LOVE? Would his words supercede his actions? I think not.

Get back in the driver's seat, sit up and observe (and observe some more), & guard your heart.

Just want to say in general - The worst kind of lie that is told is the ones we tell ourselves.


WORD! I couldn't have saidit better myself. Also, I think sometimes (people in general) SEE/HEAR what they want to SEE/HEAR. It's funny how a person will say, "Such and so wasn't like this at the beginning...now, he/she has CHANGED!" Have they changed, or has your perception of them changed— Just a question, because I know that oftentimes, the person has been consistently doing/saying certain things since the beginning, but when that lovely, lust veneer is stripped away --- then you really start opening your eyes to the "real" person. They haven't changed, your perception of them has, because you aren't in that "New relationship" haze anymore.
click to expand




I agree with all of this!
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ninjamu
@ninjamu
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2999 · Topics: 75
i've only experienced that pulling away bit once in my life with men. it's hard for me, as a female, to fully relate with other females. i'm kinda like a guy. i have a strong tomboyish and spend most of my time in the company of other males. i think because of this it has made it easier for me to "figure them out". when that one guy did his hot and cold bit it was because our situation was complicated. the biggest thing was that he had a girlfriend. he came to me for his love fix and left with what he wasn't receiving with his gf. we never did anything physical but we did have a strong spiritual and emotional connection. so i dunno how to help u. i've come to understand that men and women speak different languages so it's up to us as individuals to become bi-lingual. there is something to be said about detachment. detachment meaning that we should always remain objective. understand and accept.
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USCTaurusGal
@USCTaurusGal
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 4648 · Topics: 31
Also (generalizing here), I think women (moreso than men) tend to try to hard. Sometimes it's best to just sit back and enjoy the ride. I know that it's difficult for some people because they are trying to make "connections" find their "soul mate" or a "husband/so". But sometimes it's just good to "BE." Stop putting all of this "serious" pressure on you and the other person and enjoy the time...just my minimal .02 worth.
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
Posted by ninjamu
i've only experienced that pulling away bit once in my life with men. it's hard for me, as a female, to fully relate with other females. i'm kinda like a guy. i have a strong tomboyish and spend most of my time in the company of other males. i think because of this it has made it easier for me to "figure them out". when that one guy did his hot and cold bit it was because our situation was complicated. the biggest thing was that he had a girlfriend. he came to me for his love fix and left with what he wasn't receiving with his gf. we never did anything physical but we did have a strong spiritual and emotional connection. so i dunno how to help u. i've come to understand that men and women speak different languages so it's up to us as individuals to become bi-lingual. there is something to be said about detachment. detachment meaning that we should always remain objective. understand and accept.



Ninjamu... you know I always find so much of what you say to be very much the same as me (Ive mentioned this before). We have a lot of the same placements so I can say that I too am a lot like how you mentioned above. I have been told a number of times by my many ex-bfs and male friends that I am not the typical female and that I am more of a guy. Because of that I seem to always end up bff's with all my exes! I dont know if this is a curse or not, since I tend to not end up as the long-term gf a lot of times. But I do know what you mean about being bi-lingual. However, sometimes I do meet men that I just don't CLICK with so communication on a romantic level doesnt work, however on a friendship level it goes very well for me.
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USCTaurusGal
@USCTaurusGal
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 4648 · Topics: 31
Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
Posted by ninjamu
i've only experienced that pulling away bit once in my life with men. it's hard for me, as a female, to fully relate with other females. i'm kinda like a guy. i have a strong tomboyish and spend most of my time in the company of other males. i think because of this it has made it easier for me to "figure them out". when that one guy did his hot and cold bit it was because our situation was complicated. the biggest thing was that he had a girlfriend. he came to me for his love fix and left with what he wasn't receiving with his gf. we never did anything physical but we did have a strong spiritual and emotional connection. so i dunno how to help u. i've come to understand that men and women speak different languages so it's up to us as individuals to become bi-lingual. there is something to be said about detachment. detachment meaning that we should always remain objective. understand and accept.



Ninjamu... you know I always find so much of what you say to be very much the same as me (Ive mentioned this before). We have a lot of the same placements so I can say that I too am a lot like how you mentioned above. I have been told a number of times by my many ex-bfs and male friends that I am not the typical female and that I am more of a guy. Because of that I seem to always end up bff's with all my exes! I dont know if this is a curse or not, since I tend to not end up as the long-term gf a lot of times. But I do know what you mean about being bi-lingual. However, sometimes I do meet men that I just don't CLICK with so communication on a romantic level doesnt work, however on a friendship level it goes very well for me.
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Yeah, I pretty much am a lot like a guy too...blessing and a curse 🙂 For the larger part I do agree that women (can) nag too much and pressure situations without letting the relationship go down it's "natural" path/progression. With that being said there is like 15.5% of me that's a woman, and I do think that men can be jacka $ $ es too sometimes! But I have to agree that I have a lot of male friends for a good reason, because a lot of women are just too needy and time consuming for me. I think to myself, "Damn, if they are this needy in a friendship what the hell must they be like in a relationship—" I am a firm believer
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
Posted by USCTaurusGal

Yeah, I pretty much am a lot like a guy too...blessing and a curse 🙂 For the larger part I do agree that women (can) nag too much and pressure situations without letting the relationship go down it's "natural" path/progression. With that being said there is like 15.5% of me that's a woman, and I do think that men can be jacka $ $ es too sometimes! But I have to agree that I have a lot of male friends for a good reason, because a lot of women are just too needy and time consuming for me. I think to myself, "Damn, if they are this needy in a friendship what the hell must they be like in a relationship—" I am a firm believer



Totally agree with this! I do have a pretty decent circle of female friends, but I notice that they are all similar in personality to me. Totally agree with some women friends being too needy... I can't do it, I have to limit my time with them or they drive me fuckin nuts!!! Get a life, I have one!

Probably why I was drawn to you, ninjamu, trifles, LR36, Eden and a few other females here on DXP and we all tend to end up in the same forums. Guess what's true IRL also applies online. Especially when you are dealing with personalities and not actual physical forms. Interesting.
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USCTaurusGal
@USCTaurusGal
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 4648 · Topics: 31
You know what LeoLadyLoves, you may be onto something. I think since my ascendant is in Leo, and my Venus is in Aries, they tend to carry some more masculine characterstics moreso than some other signs. One of my best girlfriends (I love her to death) but she has a lot of Cancer in her chart and her Moon is in Gemini. She is TOO time consuming to me, and she cries a lot, and is VERY sensitive. I want to shake her sometimes, but of course I don't! LOL. She smothers her boyfriends and then cries to them all the time, and then wonders why she can't keep a man—?? I'm like, "You can barely keep friends, much less a man!" It's just too much. People have their own lives and problems to worry about. I thought she'd get better with age, but she hasn't!
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USCTaurusGal
@USCTaurusGal
17 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 4648 · Topics: 31
I attract needy girlfriends; although, I do have some girlfriends that I very similar to me too. Trust me, I know I am not perfect; I have a whole scroll I can roll out and tell of my imperfections! Everyone now knows on here that I have commitment issues! LOL.
@Virgohero - yeah, thankfully you DO have those horns to hold up that halo (which needs to be shined as it's slightly tarnished)!
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
USCTG -
Yep sounds about right. My chart's ablazing with all Fire and Air with Aqua Ascendant..... I have a couple of earth but barely any water (Scorp in Jup) so could be why I'm not as sensitive as most women as well. My friends all tell me that I let shit roll off me very easily. It takes a lot to offend me. I too have a friend like you mentioned. Frustrating!!! *smh*
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
Posted by sweethearts
Thank you ladies for helping once again to confirm what I am already thinking...putting it out there and getting your feedback just makes me all the more stronger... I will sit back and do nothing and observe but already feel it's gone beyond that point...



Girl, I feel you. Just remember that you can't control anyone's actions but your own. People can only affect you with what you allow them to.

In your opening post you signed with "totally frustrated and preparing to be frustrated alone".... Nothing wrong with that, in fact sometimes that's the best way to be frustrated!

*hugz*
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sweethearts
@sweethearts
19 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 163 · Posts: 6615 · Topics: 326
Leolady, you dont look anything i imagined, the way you talk and knowing you as a gym freak. You definitely look more ladylike in your pic..beautiful 🙂

frustrated with the situation but moreso disappointed....because I was prepared to open up completely and be The LOVER and not sheild myself like the LOVED as per one of the discussions we had here...and I felt he would be very careful with me given our history but his actions say other...

Now the task ahead to STOP trying to re-harsh through everything said and done and let go...daunting!
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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
Posted by sweethearts
Leolady, you dont look anything i imagined, the way you talk and knowing you as a gym freak. You definitely look more ladylike in your pic..beautiful 🙂



LOL!! Yes, I know.... I am sure I surprise people a lot by that. I cant help it... Im kind of a tomboy with a sailor's mouth that embraces her feminity and sexuality with mad conviction. I love to look like a lady and go all out in that department. Yes, Im a gym freak but the category in which I compete is along the lines of fitness/athletic model so I can understand misconceptions. Thank you very much for the compliments!


frustrated with the situation but moreso disappointed....because I was prepared to open up completely and be The LOVER and not sheild myself like the LOVED as per one of the discussions we had here...and I felt he would be very careful with me given our history but his actions say other...

Now the task ahead to STOP trying to re-harsh through everything said and done and let go...daunting!
click to expand




It is very frustrating when we open ourselves up only to experience disappointment, so I understand your delima. I too have recently experienced the same thing. Honestly, even though it hurt a great deal, I decided within myself to NOT let it affect me negatively and have taken it as a learning experience. I chose to see it as an opportunity that was afforded to me that taught me that I am capable of loving again. Even though I know that it will be while before I am ready to open up again, I now KNOW that I can and just having that feeling has brought me a certain peace within.

I am now taking some time to heal myself by myself for a while and I am truly enjoying it. Letting go is the hardest part, but with it comes a sense of relief sometimes! I wish you the best!
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Beergo85
@Beergo85
16 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1823 · Topics: 70
Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
Posted by ianthefish
Posted by sweethearts
Yep I think I might like to give woman a go...they are far easier creatures to read!



if i was a woman, id stick to women...



If only women had penises.... so would I! 😄
click to expand





I think most Taurus women got one, if I'm not mistaken..





















I kid. 😛

Note: I love Taurus women. 😄

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LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
@LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3918 · Topics: 16
Posted by Beergo85
Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
Posted by ianthefish
Posted by sweethearts
Yep I think I might like to give woman a go...they are far easier creatures to read!



if i was a woman, id stick to women...



If only women had penises.... so would I! 😄




I think most Taurus women got one, if I'm not mistaken..





I kid. 😛

Note: I love Taurus women. 😄

click to expand





LMAO!!! That was just plain wrong!
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