Moving near to work location to save time or live near to in-laws?

I am a recently married and living near to my in-laws. My work location is about 13 miles far from my home and it will take more than an hour to travel daily in hectic traffic. Before marriage I have told my wife that I will be taking a home which will be half the distance to in-laws as well as to my office. But now things have changed, due to professional career and tight work schedule I will have to stay near to office. So that I will save time and effort and can commute easily. I can even concentrate on other things and will be able to spent more time with my wife. I have tried explaining her in every possible way but she is not at all listening and is only sticking to staying near to my in-laws. I will have to face health issues, time management issues and etc. I am a Virgo and my wife is Taurus. As Taurus being stubborn in nature by default. It became to impossible to me to make her convince to stay near to work location. I even gave enough freedom to go to in-laws every two days per week. we have been very compatible couple except this one. I have been a very good husband to her.

Moving near to work location will save a lot of time and I can plan and prepare for our better future. I dont want to take risk in planning and preparing for our future.

Could anyone please tell me how to make her convince to move near to my work place?

Thanks a lot!

You're talking a measly 13 miles .... is your transportation a mule?

Posted by asbondili
I even gave enough freedom to go to in-laws every two days per week

Wow, how amazing of you. you gave freedom, imagine that.

Posted by asbondili
I have been a very good husband to her.

click to expand

^You made sure to add this to slant our views in the perspective of "look how irrational she is being, i am perfect husband here"

What culture are we talking here?

What do you think will be around longer, your in laws or this job?

You live where it is best for your work.

If she wants to continue a marriage with you, she'll live where you take her.

If she refuses to live there, then she can go back to her parents to live.

If she chooses her parents, then she never wanted to be with you in the first place.



But, again .... all this fuss over 13 miles.

Why did you get married before handling your business? And a Taurus is in flexible and flexible but not really sure about your wife. Ask her Taurus love communication and honesty.

Also if we love you we would support our SO.. So best wishes. WORK it out.

" I even gave enough freedom to go to in-laws every two days per week.."


What the hell?


My commute is twice that, in traffic (omg).

How grueling is it, really?

I mean... do you want to be happy or right?

@OP- But does she have a job now? because it's really frustrating getting hired at any place including a small city compared to a bigger city. Even location is a huge move...moving away from a stable life, to doubts about where I would work now. Is risky... but if she isn't working and you support her now.

Then you can get her stubbornness off and go with you too. But you have use positive outcomes to all. Pros and cons to this situation. And talk. . To show her it's okay to do this for a better life later.

@ OP- If someone asks me right now to move in with and they are 13 miles. I would decline because I am on a 12 year lease till next year.. I could not go with you but then that means you should handle your business because I can't do anything but I will meet you on my off days. To reconnect with you. So compromise will need to happen in your situation.

I also have a job where I can go anywhere once my lease is up. So many factors I am trying to give.

I love a job location not too far from where I live currently..that MAybe another factor for her.

12 month or 1 year lease renewal..for the next 8 months left. Typo.

Taurus above ^^ ... I have no clue what you are babbling about with leases and jobs, as if either of them are relevant.


it's 13 miles ...... what fucking difference does a lease make?


What a dumbass

I am saying 13 miles is something to talk about in their lives. It's a huge difference. And he said she wasn't sure. I am trying to see another side to it...

I did more details than I thought. Doesn't make me an ass.
They both have to compromise.

I brought the lease up because maybe she is bound to something like that contract.

Lol. Merry Christmas @ P-Angel..

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
I am saying 13 miles is something to talk about in their lives. It's a huge difference. And he said she wasn't sure. I am trying to see another side to it...

I did more details than I thought. Doesn't make me an ass.
They both have to compromise.

I brought the lease up because maybe she is bound to something like that contract.

Lol. Merry Christmas @ P-Angel..

They are married and currently reside together so if she is bound in a contract than he is also stuck in one too. I don't think that is the case. Reread his first post. He's looking for validation on here to support his efforts to move closer to work.

Op, even an hour in traffic (2 hours round trip) doesn't seem that bad. Maybe it's cause I sit in at least double that amount and where I live it's a fact of life. But is it really about spending more time with your wife? Or is it about making your life more comfortable?

Your gonna have to compromise. Give a little to get a little.

Find a place that's a few miles closer to your work but still a reasonable distance from your inlaws. Sweeten the deal by finding a place with a perk your wife wants. Does she like to swim? Find a pad with a pool. Or get a place with space for the inlaws so they can sleep over now and again.

Wow - OP is looking to only put his needs first....
It's 13 miles suck it up and wake up earlier...
Looks like OP is going back on his word - agreeing to be near the in laws as one of the conditions to marry the wife

She has every right to make you stay true to your word

You let her go back two days - omg how is that even a right way of thinking about this. You give her permission... Just wow

Learn how to prioritise your family and learn some time management skills for work so you are not late

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Montgomery
" I even gave enough freedom to go to in-laws every two days per week.."


What the hell?


My commute is twice that, in traffic (omg).

How grueling is it, really?

I mean... do you want to be happy or right?

It is damn grueling
No idea unless u do it. I had a 20 mile distance took me 1.5 each way
No quality of life. It's a big deal

click to expand

I've done it... Northridge to Culver city on the 405. o.O

I chose a commute again, back here, because the job

is worth it... there's no way I would move though, from

where I am.

And I get what he's saying, but the idea of "allowing" her the

"liberty" of visiting her FAMILY makes me feel like it's

important to her to stay close for a reason.

Maybe in a few years when she's more comfortable--

but if it freaks her out that badly, it seems counterproductive.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Your gonna have to compromise. Give a little to get a little.

Find a place that's a few miles closer to your work but still a reasonable distance from your inlaws. Sweeten the deal by finding a place with a perk your wife wants. Does she like to swim? Find a pad with a pool. Or get a place with space for the inlaws so they can sleep over now and again.

This... compromise is good.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by LadyNeptune
Your gonna have to compromise. Give a little to get a little.

Find a place that's a few miles closer to your work but still a reasonable distance from your inlaws. Sweeten the deal by finding a place with a perk your wife wants. Does she like to swim? Find a pad with a pool. Or get a place with space for the inlaws so they can sleep over now and again.

This... compromise is good.

click to expand

Even if one party graciously gives in to the other, it won't stop the feeling like you've 'lost'. There will be a build up of resentment which, over time, could prove fatal to the relationship. With compromise there's no clear winner and life can continue on as usual.

The major reason is to have more time to spend on some other activities. Being very busy in these professional lives. We are not able to spend some time on pursuing hobbies. I always love to be fit by going Gym. I love Music. If I have sufficient time I will be able to go to Gym and learn Music and can help her in house hold things. Mainly I feel safer if she is near to me and in case of emergency. Moreover I am pursuing Masters Degree, I will have to prepare for that too. All I am asking her is to save my time. I am very much confident enough to achieve all the things I have in my mind.

There are lot of things to consider while moving to a new place. There are very few good places which matches to all the criteria. And in near future I am planning to buy a home. Buying a home is very big thing in life. I don't want to make it a mess just because of her comfort.

She is not at all understanding this one. I am already vexed and losing interest in her.

She is not selfish. I guess she is feeling that I will be restricting her later to not to go to her parents. But in fact I will not do that. I am very analytical and thinks a lot. I have clearly planned to do a lot of things by saving time. It is not only for me but for her too. She even gets sick very often. She is a little fat. I told her I will let you join Gym as well to make herself fit. I am doing and will do whatever it takes to make our life better.

She is only concerned about her Parents. She even mentioned lot of times that they are more important than me. I have kept calm and said nothing. I only thought she will eventually understand me. finally in recent days she told me her parents and me are equally important.

May God help me in making her agree with me in moving near to work location!

@OP- Whoa you have issues yourself. And are stressing . And only been married a short time. Wut? I see I hate when people don't put all their information down on a thread. Makes me an ass trying to give proper advice. I don't even think it's about 13 miles now. Smdh. I still think it's more adapting and compromise is necessary.

Good luck.

Posted by asbondili
I always love to be fit by going Gym. I love Music. If I have sufficient time I will be able to go to Gym and learn Music

Join a 24hr fitness and work out early in the morning before work. Not only will you avoid sitting in traffic, you will also be healthier in mind and body.

Same thing with the music. Schedule lessons 2xs a week somewhere nearby that you can atten after work. Pursue your passion an avoid traffic. Easy.

On a side note I don't like how your prioritizing your needs over your wife's. All this talk of what you will and won't allow, you don't own her.

for the sake of environment (air polution): near to office

for raising children: near to grandparents

OP look selfish only looking out for his needs.
Not married long and already loosing interested in the wife because he has a do it my way or the high way attitude

Feel sorry for the wife having to put up with that attitude