Need honest opinion/answer
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by healthfreak on Sunday, January 8, 2012 and has 4 replies.
If you dated someone for a long time (little more than a year relationship) in which you had strong feelings for this person but ended up doing something very hurtful (Cheating, using, lying) to them towards the end of the relationship without much of an explanation on your part and somewhat just disappered. Never said sorry or gave them their stuff back. Than you decided you wanted to talk to them again months later ... maybe to see how they are doing or to give their stuff back or to say sorry but found out they changed their number and obviously never told you about it... They never cussed you out or did anything to "get you back" they just dropped it and changed their contact info. How would you feel about that? Would you find other ways to get in contact with them or just let it go because you can see that they were hurt by you and didnt want you to be apart of their life anymore. Would it make you feel worse because you never got a chance to say sorry or say what happened or would you have an "oh well" kind of attitude.
What if out of the blue they hit you up from their new number... how would you handle that? Would you be nice and receptive or have some sort of a confused attitude with them?
Would really appreciate all the responses I can get and diferent views from different people. Thank you.
What if out of the blue they hit you up from their new number... how would you handle that? Would you be nice and receptive or have some sort of a confused attitude with them?
Would really appreciate all the responses I can get and diferent views from different people. Thank you.
Well shit happens, and it's never too late to say your sorry, or to fill them in on why you screwed up. Most likely things won't go back the way they were, but you will feel better for reaching out. Good luck 
just say sorry. know that in the end you did the decent thing. know that they did what they had to do. and move on. if it was meant to be, than maybe things will pick up after some good long conversations. if not, than you need to move on, for your own sake, and next time don't make the same mistake.
relationships are about learning about yourself as much as it is about the other person not just how well you two can blend.
relationships are about learning about yourself as much as it is about the other person not just how well you two can blend.
When a person ups & disappears, you have no other choice but to move on.
I don't recommend up & disappearing w/o explanation but then again sometimes doing that saves 2 people from dragging a bad break up out.
Sometimes it's better to just up & move on instead of slowly but surely weening yourself off that person.
When you step 1 foot out of the door & yet leave 1 foot still in, it makes both people vulnerable to manipulation, being wheeled back in to a bad situation or it enables slots of unnecessary fighting that could've been avoided had both people just agreed to separate & move on.
And sometimes it's the mean words, mindgames, drama & fighting AFTER the breakup that does more damage & is alot worse than what the breakup was originally about.
The longer it takes for the other person to remember that I exist, the better the chances that I've completely forgiven them & moved on therefore making it a little easier for me to see or talk to that person again in the future
Not getting closure can be bad for both the person who did the dumping just as much as it is for the person who got dumped
If they tried to come back months/years later & apologize, I'd accept it. At that point, there'd be no point in arguining or over-analyzing b/c what's done is done.
I wouldn't necessarily turn down an explanation but I wouldn't be nearly as emotionally vulnerable if alot of time has passed either
Sometimes ya just got to accept that you may never know 'why.' You'd hope that you'd know b/c it's easier to forgive someone & learn from your mistakes BUT just in case...always plan to move on regardless. You shouldn't measure your ability to forgive & move on based on knowing everything.
I don't recommend up & disappearing w/o explanation but then again sometimes doing that saves 2 people from dragging a bad break up out.
Sometimes it's better to just up & move on instead of slowly but surely weening yourself off that person.
When you step 1 foot out of the door & yet leave 1 foot still in, it makes both people vulnerable to manipulation, being wheeled back in to a bad situation or it enables slots of unnecessary fighting that could've been avoided had both people just agreed to separate & move on.
And sometimes it's the mean words, mindgames, drama & fighting AFTER the breakup that does more damage & is alot worse than what the breakup was originally about.
The longer it takes for the other person to remember that I exist, the better the chances that I've completely forgiven them & moved on therefore making it a little easier for me to see or talk to that person again in the future
Not getting closure can be bad for both the person who did the dumping just as much as it is for the person who got dumped
If they tried to come back months/years later & apologize, I'd accept it. At that point, there'd be no point in arguining or over-analyzing b/c what's done is done.
I wouldn't necessarily turn down an explanation but I wouldn't be nearly as emotionally vulnerable if alot of time has passed either
Sometimes ya just got to accept that you may never know 'why.' You'd hope that you'd know b/c it's easier to forgive someone & learn from your mistakes BUT just in case...always plan to move on regardless. You shouldn't measure your ability to forgive & move on based on knowing everything.
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