Opinions male and female on how you read this
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sweethearts on Wednesday, November 24, 2021 and has 33 replies.
Text
Him: Are you single, l felt you were asking me out the other day
Me: I am, I didn't mean to come across that way, I know you're seeing someone
Him: Are you single, l felt you were asking me out the other day
Me: I am, I didn't mean to come across that way, I know you're seeing someone
He Tryna cheat lol
I know this person more on a professional basis and had said if you’re in the area drop in and we’ll grab a coffee
nvm
I misread him and you lol
He was wanting clarity while being friendly.
I misread him and you lol
He was wanting clarity while being friendly.
Posted by saggurl88You’ve read it backwards
nvm
Posted by -Capriquarius
He was hoping you don't know about his gf
He’s told me about his gf and her child while we were doing business when we met 6 months ago.
I had contacted him canvassing for business in my new industry
Question being, did he understand my answer?? He said it was a compliment.
My I am, was referring to I am single, then the next statement was, I didn’t mean it to come across that way (asking him out) followed by, I know you’re seeing someone.
Not sure he read that correctly because he then said, it was a compliment
My I am, was referring to I am single, then the next statement was, I didn’t mean it to come across that way (asking him out) followed by, I know you’re seeing someone.
Not sure he read that correctly because he then said, it was a compliment
What was the text after this?
You admitting that you know he's seeing someone and single, while he calls you out about your behavior seems thirsty, to put it plainly. He probably noticed.
So what happens after your message, will be more telling of what he's thinking.
You admitting that you know he's seeing someone and single, while he calls you out about your behavior seems thirsty, to put it plainly. He probably noticed.
So what happens after your message, will be more telling of what he's thinking.
Posted by sweethearts
Question being, did he understand my answer?? He said it was a compliment.
My I am, was referring to I am single, then the next statement was, I didn’t mean it to come across that way (asking him out) followed by, I know you’re seeing someone.
Not sure he read that correctly because he then said, it was a compliment
I think he thought you were asking him out, but playing coy. Also flattered but not interested since just gave you a virtual pat on the head.
Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
0 opinion
Posted by IMNOTEVENREALlol I know, but I was too lazy to crop the picture and upload it. 😭😭😭😭Posted by saggurl88Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
0 opinion
No the other link was betterclick to expand
His text came 2 days later after my phone call.
He first responded with sending me a business contact, which is what I was after lol
But then confused me with that statement.
Tbh, if he didn’t have a gf. I’d go out with him but now the lines are blurred between business and friendship
He first responded with sending me a business contact, which is what I was after lol
But then confused me with that statement.
Tbh, if he didn’t have a gf. I’d go out with him but now the lines are blurred between business and friendship
My words may seem harsh but in my opinion once you know he is in a relationship (that's not an open one etc), there's no reading into anything... Can be cordial, but until he is no longer in a relationship, there is nothing to read into.
Posted by sweetheartsWhat was said to him that sounded like you were asking him out?
His text came 2 days later after my phone call.
He first responded with sending me a business contact, which is what I was after lol
But then confused me with that statement.
Tbh, if he didn’t have a gf. I’d go out with him but now the lines are blurred between business and friendship
Posted by sweethearts
Text
Him: Are you single, l felt you were asking me out the other day
Me: I am, I didn't mean to come across that way, I know you're seeing someone
female here. i read it as, i am (single) the rest is clear but this is an invitation for banter : "I know you´re seeing someone" ..that is the open back-door.
Posted by _elle_She didn't say what she asked that was taken as a date scenario.Posted by saggurl88
What was the text after this?
You admitting that you know he's seeing someone and single, while he calls you out about your behavior seems thirsty, to put it plainly. He probably noticed.
So what happens after your message, will be more telling of what he's thinking.
How is it being thirsty?
On a professional level, I've asked men and women for coffee or lunch when they were in town. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Him asking if she was single was a bit inappropriate, imo.click to expand
Him saying it seemed like you were asking me out, and her response to it was what seemed thirsty- as someone else noticed- she left it kind of open ended.
Even saying to us that he talked about his girlfriend, but her wording to him was "seeing someone" -as in dating
I am (asking you out)
I didn’t mean to come across like that (single)
😅😅
I didn’t mean to come across like that (single)
😅😅
Posted by sweetheartsI thought this was gonna be cut simple and dry until his text at the end there lol
Question being, did he understand my answer?? He said it was a compliment.
My I am, was referring to I am single, then the next statement was, I didn’t mean it to come across that way (asking him out) followed by, I know you’re seeing someone.
Not sure he read that correctly because he then said, it was a compliment
Because if someone, even an attractive person I know professionally in the industry told me casually "if you're in the area, drop by and we can grab a coffee", it just sounds so casual to me and since we have a professional formal relationship, I wouldn't think much of it other than to discuss business. When it's a more casual friendship with a guy for me, and with no professional formal business relations, that's when it gets a bit more date sounding to me. So I would think he was wanting clarification. But if he thought it sounded date like, maybe he was flattered and thought you maybe forgot about his gf and kid idk.
Posted by _elle_Yeah Sag has a way or turning things around, I’ve seen her answers before with others and take it with a grain of salt.Posted by saggurl88
What was the text after this?
You admitting that you know he's seeing someone and single, while he calls you out about your behavior seems thirsty, to put it plainly. He probably noticed.
So what happens after your message, will be more telling of what he's thinking.
How is it being thirsty?
On a professional level, I've asked men and women for coffee or lunch when they were in town. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Him asking if she was single was a bit inappropriate, imo.click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneInteresting, that’s the way I think he read it and I thought maybe from a male point of view but I meant yes I’m single but no, didn’t mean it to come off that way. I’m only interested in money and business from that call 😂
I am (asking you out)
I didn’t mean to come across like that (single)
😅😅
Posted by allrounderThink you got it there, it’s only ever been a professional relationship and I’ve since changed industries and calling all my database from the previous job as they are linked. I was shocked by that text to be honest. His first one was saying hi and I had to ask who he was. I hadn’t had text communication with him previously and he wasn’t in my contacts. Then he went on to say he had a contact for me…. And then the question?? 🤔Posted by sweethearts
Question being, did he understand my answer?? He said it was a compliment.
My I am, was referring to I am single, then the next statement was, I didn’t mean it to come across that way (asking him out) followed by, I know you’re seeing someone.
Not sure he read that correctly because he then said, it was a compliment
I thought this was gonna be cut simple and dry until his text at the end there lol
Because if someone, even an attractive person I know professionally in the industry told me casually "if you're in the area, drop by and we can grab a coffee", it just sounds so casual to me and since we have a professional formal relationship, I wouldn't think much of it other than to discuss business. When it's a more casual friendship with a guy for me, and with no professional formal business relations, that's when it gets a bit more date sounding to me. So I would think he was wanting clarification. But if he thought it sounded date like, maybe he was flattered and thought you maybe forgot about his gf and kid idk.click to expand
Posted by sweetheartsOkay and now I'm lost 😆 so you gathered all contacts from your previous job because it's linked with your new job, and he was one of the contacts or no? How did he manage to get your contact? Because if you know for sure that it wasn't one of the contacts you gathered then the question lies in "how did he get my number?". And sorry, what does he mean by "I have a contact for you"? Is there context to this just so I understand lolPosted by allrounderPosted by sweethearts
Question being, did he understand my answer?? He said it was a compliment.
My I am, was referring to I am single, then the next statement was, I didn’t mean it to come across that way (asking him out) followed by, I know you’re seeing someone.
Not sure he read that correctly because he then said, it was a compliment
I thought this was gonna be cut simple and dry until his text at the end there lol
Because if someone, even an attractive person I know professionally in the industry told me casually "if you're in the area, drop by and we can grab a coffee", it just sounds so casual to me and since we have a professional formal relationship, I wouldn't think much of it other than to discuss business. When it's a more casual friendship with a guy for me, and with no professional formal business relations, that's when it gets a bit more date sounding to me. So I would think he was wanting clarification. But if he thought it sounded date like, maybe he was flattered and thought you maybe forgot about his gf and kid idk.
Think you got it there, it’s only ever been a professional relationship and I’ve since changed industries and calling all my database from the previous job as they are linked. I was shocked by that text to be honest. His first one was saying hi and I had to ask who he was. I hadn’t had text communication with him previously and he wasn’t in my contacts. Then he went on to say he had a contact for me…. And then the question?? 🤔click to expand
I was in home renovations so helped/sold him and many others products for their Reno’s.
Now I’m in Real Estate selling house, so I’m calling up asking for referrals or if they are looking to sell.
Because I worked closely with my clients, they remember me. I rang him and he’s kept my phone number and texted me a couple days later saying he had a friend that is looking at selling.
The conversation ended but then that random text, which I thought I answered without leaving it open.
He had previously talked about the lady he was seeing (his words for whoever picked my words apart) and complained about the way her child acted (that I remembered) so I knew he was seeing someone and didn’t expect that question.
Now I’m in Real Estate selling house, so I’m calling up asking for referrals or if they are looking to sell.
Because I worked closely with my clients, they remember me. I rang him and he’s kept my phone number and texted me a couple days later saying he had a friend that is looking at selling.
The conversation ended but then that random text, which I thought I answered without leaving it open.
He had previously talked about the lady he was seeing (his words for whoever picked my words apart) and complained about the way her child acted (that I remembered) so I knew he was seeing someone and didn’t expect that question.
@Phoenixrising
Did you delete your comments? I was busy at work and thought I saw a couple posts and like your train of thought but now they aren’t there??
Did you delete your comments? I was busy at work and thought I saw a couple posts and like your train of thought but now they aren’t there??
Posted by dancing_black_notes
My words may seem harsh but in my opinion once you know he is in a relationship (that's not an open one etc), there's no reading into anything... Can be cordial, but until he is no longer in a relationship, there is nothing to read into.
I very much agree with this??
I'm finding his response to your business intended coffee date request very weird as well as how you responded back. There's a way to be very friendly yet clearly business professional so as to not confuse clients of any other casual intentions. If you're having trouble coming off a way that you did not intend, you need to be more careful with your wording. Maybe as the initiator you should've mentioned having coffee to discuss any project, business or plans the person might have especially if you have been aware/assumed they are in a relationship. It's a bad way to lose clients too if their significant other found out and also took it wrong. A professional respond from you imo would be to answer something like "I'm sorry, I had mentioned going for coffee the other day so we could discuss xxx if you were interested." But the way you further answered makes things further awkward as what do you expect a potential client to do with the information on your relationship status as well as your assumption of his relationship status... It does continue to give mixed messages as his respond ended up being he took the coffee invite as a compliment. And as you mentioned you'd be open to date him if he was single it was perhaps your subconscious who's been purposely giving mixed singles to come off open ended. Nobody takes a coffee date with clear business intentions as a personal compliment... but you were not clear on your business oriented intentions and instead were vague/too casual which caused this entire misunderstanding.
Signed Up: Jul 28, 2016
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
Comments: 4222 · Posts: 6474 · Topics: 83
Here is what I think
You legitimately asked for his details and for a coffee "date" all related to BUSINESS.
His first sleezy mistake was trying to open a door and imply it was more than just for business. Fishing for an opening.
Your mistake was replying anything related to a girlfriend and not saying its for BUSINESS and leaving the door ajar for him, which is understandable, if you say you open to seeing him, if he didn't have a girlfriend.
He is looking for a hookup. Your reply should have clarified that the meeting was business related and not even brought up the girlfriend, you both blurred the lines here :-)
You legitimately asked for his details and for a coffee "date" all related to BUSINESS.
His first sleezy mistake was trying to open a door and imply it was more than just for business. Fishing for an opening.
Your mistake was replying anything related to a girlfriend and not saying its for BUSINESS and leaving the door ajar for him, which is understandable, if you say you open to seeing him, if he didn't have a girlfriend.
He is looking for a hookup. Your reply should have clarified that the meeting was business related and not even brought up the girlfriend, you both blurred the lines here :-)
Appreciate both your feedback and yes, I see where I’ve blurred the lines.
I never told him, I’d be open to seeing him. Just said that here.
I Just reminded him, I know he’s seeing someone. As I said, firstly his text took me by surprise because I didn’t know who it was and secondly he was talking business once he disclosed who he was. There was a bit of joking around about how much part I had to play in his Reno. It’s a unique home and he spent buckets on selecting the finest Italian tap ware so I asked for a picture of the finishing. I also know he’s selling next year so yes I want to sell it for him, the house will be worth around 3-4 million with the way prices are going through the roof here in Queensland. My head was definitely thinking business but I spent a bit of time with him selecting and designing his mostly bathrooms and we were on friendly terms.
I never told him, I’d be open to seeing him. Just said that here.
I Just reminded him, I know he’s seeing someone. As I said, firstly his text took me by surprise because I didn’t know who it was and secondly he was talking business once he disclosed who he was. There was a bit of joking around about how much part I had to play in his Reno. It’s a unique home and he spent buckets on selecting the finest Italian tap ware so I asked for a picture of the finishing. I also know he’s selling next year so yes I want to sell it for him, the house will be worth around 3-4 million with the way prices are going through the roof here in Queensland. My head was definitely thinking business but I spent a bit of time with him selecting and designing his mostly bathrooms and we were on friendly terms.
That was my first thought and my second was… I’ve been too friendly and given him that impression.
I’ll take that on board in future.
I’ll take that on board in future.
Posted by GobbieLet’s see if his mate rings me to sell his home… or if that was just a reason to text in the first place.
Being in his position, if you truly gave that impression, I would have ignored your 'advances' until something had to be said. Even if I was forced to say something, asking if you're single wouldn't come into the equation, as that's completely irrelevant.
The guy is basically fishing and, as others have said, looking for a back door. IMO, that's shady behaviour.
I really hope I get the listing 😂
How do you know he’s still seeing the woman from 6 months ago? Would not be the first relationship to break down because of the antics of a potential step-brat and the perceived mismanagement by the parent.
Posted by Undine
How do you know he’s still seeing the woman from 6 months ago? Would not be the first relationship to break down because of the antics of a potential step-brat and the perceived mismanagement by the parent.
I don’t but if he wasn’t I would think he might have said so after my statement.
he is asking with mild interest, curious and probably open to starting something. Can't say anymore than that.
And this thread wouldn't exist if you weren't interested, so just be upfront in your next conversation and don't muddy the waters even more.
Don't send ambiguous messages and then use the pretext of pro relationship to pretend you're not the one trying to start sthg.
It's bad form and borderline harrasment
And this thread wouldn't exist if you weren't interested, so just be upfront in your next conversation and don't muddy the waters even more.
Don't send ambiguous messages and then use the pretext of pro relationship to pretend you're not the one trying to start sthg.
It's bad form and borderline harrasment
Posted by sweetheartsYou could have asked if he was single as well, instead of trying to find out the passive-defensive way.Posted by Undine
How do you know he’s still seeing the woman from 6 months ago? Would not be the first relationship to break down because of the antics of a potential step-brat and the perceived mismanagement by the parent.
I don’t but if he wasn’t I would think he might have said so after my statement.click to expand
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