Please Help!! Capricorn man disappered shut me off

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by aries123 on Thursday, September 15, 2011 and has 15 replies.
I am in love with a capricorn man who said he was in love with me and i had no reason to doubt him, until now that is!! I am totally totally at a loss as to why he has just switched off from me shut me out and will not reply to me. Im 48 been single for 6 years just not met "the one" until now and he felt exactly the same it was fate brought us together and was like weve known each other all our lives. We were planning out future together at the weekend (3 days ago now) altho we have discussed our future on many occasions before he left for the train station. Hetext me as soon as he got to the station to say he was already missing me etc. and I spoke to him Sunday as well, but I have not heard anything since!! Ive texted him and they have been delivered coz i got my delivery report. But nothing, no explanation, no nothing. In the end ive ended up coming to the conclusion he's changed his mind but has not the guts to tell me and ive sent him texts telling him exactly how i feel and because hes not been in touch im left with trying to summise what's going on in his head and how hurt (understatement) i am. It just all seems unreal cant get my head round it at all!! One minute we were planning out future and everything was absolutely fine between us, then the next a few hours later hes totally cut me off without a word or explanation!! Im in bits here I just dont understand!!!???
I havent been nasty on my texts really Ive just tried to get through to him how im feeling and why he has done this. He's obviously not coming back now and ive also asked him to send my key back. He knows i still love him i told him but has everything he's said been a lie?
Can anyone Please help me try and understand. Do u think he will eventually get back in touch and be all sorry or will he just leave it now and move on? It's been three days now and he even knows ive been in hospital and still not even got in touch. It's like he just doesn't care one little bit like i never exisited!!
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Aries-First things first...how long have you actually known this Cap? How soon into the relationship did you and he start talking marrige/future?
The reason why I ask is that Caps are very serious. They can be bubbly and gun ho-solving all the issues at work (they are the best to hire because they are so ambitious) and then the next, they can switch their moods on and off like a light switch. This plays into their emotional realm as well. They are very inward, they do not express emotion positvely and when they do they will take it back. They can also be the ones to "test" the waters before jumping into anything to serious.
In relationships they seem to "know" the very extreme type woman and will then SHUT THE DAMN SWITCH OFF!
What type of textes are you sending? My advice to you is when you have the urge to text, just say Hi. Leave it at that. Do not bring up your love for him, show negative thoughts/emotions and carry on with your life. Do what makes you happy. Be ambitous in your career or hobby. Ease the time of thinking by taking care of you.
If this man is worth any of your time and if he does text you back make sure you are stable in yourself. Then rational text him back asking how his day was. Do not go into a sob story on how you were in the hospital, where he was, if he missed you. If he did that is why he text you, you see?
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There's more info on the capricorn board if you want to know how they met and other details.
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There could be a few things going on
1. Everything he said was a lie. While your head was off in the clouds, he was in it the whole time for different reasons unknown to you. When he heard that your feelings for him were very strong, it scared him, therefore he decided to leave you so that he wouldn't have to face you or hurt you by admitting to you that he never felt the same way that you did
2. He didn't realize he was emotionally insecure or unavailable until he was at the point of no return. He had feelings for you but it wasn't until you latched on harder that he realized he wasn't ready for true love/commitment after all. Facing you would mean he'd have to face himself & most emotionally unavailable/insecure people hate facing the truth. It's easier for them to run & either quit dating altogether or move on to the next target
3. He has other girls on the side. OR he just met someone recently that took his breath away, therefore that explains why you no longer have his undivided attention. It's b/c someone else does. Some men won't completely commit their hearts to you, shut everybody else out or stop dating other people until and/or unless the committment is official
4. Something bad happened. Or something very stressful is occuring in his life that he's not ready to share with you yet. He's the type of person that isolates himself from EVERYBODY when he's really down about something & just "hopes" that when he gets things straightened out that all his friends/loved ones will still be around when he comes back. That's the chance he may be willing to take
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5. He truly does love you & feels the same way that you do, BUT isn't ready to take things to the next step so it's easier for him to run for now until he can battle it out with HIMSELF vs. him facing the embarassment of you seeing all of his inner demons that usually only come out once he's at the point of no return with his feelings
6. He will contact you again, but chooses not to for now b/c he wants to make sure that he says the right thing & doesn't play with your heart/mind. He's thinking "ok, this is it. This is the true love I've been looking for. So let me go be by myself, figure things out & decide if I'm truly ready for this or not."
If this is the case, he may be gone for a few weeks, months or even for good. Just depends on how emotionally available he is. The more insecure he is inside, the longer it'll take for him to come to terms with his own emotions. Whether or not you stay around depends on you & your patience level
7. And then there's always the guys who disappear for no good reason. You never understand why they disappear. Hell, some times they don't even know why they got scared & ran. All they know is that in the moment, they felt an incredible urge to run so..they do exactly that, run. Sometimes there isn't an answer or reason why.

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thanks ive read all the scenarios and i can cancel out No.1, 2 and 3 straight away i have no doubts about that.
No.4 is a very possibility as he is very stressed at the moment with work and ironically lol coz he just wanted everything to be sorted and he be here permenantly and then work ring him and he has to go back to scotland!!
5, 6 and 7 well i'll never know will I, but I swear i had no doubt at all that he was in love with me and if he wasnt then he's a very very good actor!!
I didnt realise id posted this twice lol (im not used to doing anything like this) thanks BullBeauty
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He could be trying to live a double life.
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thanks for that and im trying to hold onto the fact i will eventually get some answers explanation and he will get back in touch but its been a week now and i honestly cant see it happening. Like i said before ive accepted its obviously over but i dont know why??!! its that which is killing me coz im 100% sure when he said he loved me he meant it, ive even still got all his texts aswell which say the same. Then i start wondering if h did really mean what he said and im back to square one wondering why?? Ive read alot about caps since this happened and 95% of the time it seems that caps always mean what they say (if they sy they care/love u etc) and they will come out of their "space" when they are ready. Then ive also read once they make their mind up its over, it's OVER and they never ever turn back they just go and never return. It's like a waiting game and im mad at myself coz ive just crumbled, not eating, sleeping shut myself away not doing anything and i knw he wont be feeling like this. Then i start thinking i wonder how he's feeling, does he thinkabout me, what's he doing etc. and it all starts again. It's crazy!!
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what proof do you have that he's a capricorn?
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lol his date of birth kinda gives it away!! oh and his passport
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hey I'm just asking because if he's capable to leaving you without an explanation and if you've read all these things about Caps saying what they mean, I only ask because I've known people to lie to someone about their birthdate so they couldn't be found it.
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yea sorry i didnt mean to sound so abrupt/flippant im just trying to search for answers and at the end of the day he's the only one to be able to give me any, but honestly it's driving me mad over and over agin in my head all the things he said and it all cant have been a lie i wud have known!!
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Posted by krysrenee7
There could be a few things going on
1. Everything he said was a lie. While your head was off in the clouds, he was in it the whole time for different reasons unknown to you. When he heard that your feelings for him were very strong, it scared him, therefore he decided to leave you so that he wouldn't have to face you or hurt you by admitting to you that he never felt the same way that you did
2. He didn't realize he was emotionally insecure or unavailable until he was at the point of no return. He had feelings for you but it wasn't until you latched on harder that he realized he wasn't ready for true love/commitment after all. Facing you would mean he'd have to face himself & most emotionally unavailable/insecure people hate facing the truth. It's easier for them to run & either quit dating altogether or move on to the next target


yeah, these two happen alot. the trick is not to take it personally and get on with your life. sometimes i think we react to stuff like this the way we do because it's a loss of control, not about the actual person. gotta let life do it's thing. if something's worth having, it'll happen when it's ready to happen.
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Posted by aries123
thanks ive read all the scenarios and i can cancel out No.1, 2 and 3 straight away i have no doubts about that.
No.4 is a very possibility as he is very stressed at the moment with work and ironically lol coz he just wanted everything to be sorted and he be here permenantly and then work ring him and he has to go back to scotland!!
5, 6 and 7 well i'll never know will I, but I swear i had no doubt at all that he was in love with me and if he wasnt then he's a very very good actor!!
I didnt realise id posted this twice lol (im not used to doing anything like this) thanks BullBeauty



Well that's the problem. You DON'T know. Only he knows. Hell all of them could be possible. And I say that b/c if you knew him so well, you wouldn't be so confused now.
Obviously you don't know him as well as you thought you did so it's only fair to consider ALL posibilities.
Not for the sake of torturing yourself, but for the sake of not being naive & being open-minded that there are all kinds of people in this world that do/are things you "never would've thought."
The problem is, there's a reason why he disappeared. And if he hasn't come back yet, that reason was probably a bad one & one that won't make you happy if you found out
If he won't tell you those reasons, just back away & give him some space. Now that you've considered all of the options, stop over-analyzing now before you get sucked in/consumed by all of this & drive yourself crazy
When/IF he does come back, you guys need to have a serious "talk." Especially if his intentions/reasons weren't your fault or as bad as you thought.
He needs to know like right NOW that if you 2 ever expect to progress in the relationship, running away is the 1st way to ruin things. And if that's not his goal, he oughta learn the value of communication.
Stuff like this is the perfect example of how 2 good people with great relationship-potential can easily ruin relationships
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Aries123 I sent you a private message.
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